Chapter 14: The Discovery

"It looks like you had a fun night," I heard as I woke up. My mind was fuzzy, and I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then I opened my eyes and I saw my mother standing over me with a grim expression on her face. I glanced down at myself and realized what she was seeing. I was naked, my chest, neck and thighs covered in dried cum and I had two fingers buried in my cunt.

When I realized what my mother was seeing I shrieked and pulled the covers over me, curling into a ball under them.

"Why don't you take a shower and get dressed, then come down and we'll talk," my mother said. She took another look at my body under the sheet and then she walked out of the room.

I stayed lying in the bed for a few minutes, letting my mind settle. I had gotten a shock from my mother, but now that I was a little more awake I was starting to think more clearly. What she had seen was quite damning, and it was clear what I had been up to. Now I just had to decide what I was going to tell her.

I got up and reluctantly started to get into the shower as she had suggested. I really wanted to leave the cum on me for longer; it was very exciting and it reminded me of my position. After a little more thought I decided that if I was going to have this confrontation anyway, I might as well go all out. I washed my face and neck and brushed my teeth, but I left the dried cum caked on my tits and thighs and simply covered them with a robe.

I headed downstairs and sat in the kitchen, watching my mother finish making breakfast. I was contemplating what to say. I knew I wasn't going to lie to my mother, but I felt that some omissions might be acceptable. My father had died three years ago, so it was just me and my mom against the world. I never lied to her, and I think that she was always honest with me as well. We had a good relationship, and I hoped that this would not strain it.

My mom put food in front of me and prepared a plate for herself. She sat down at the table across from me and started eating. After a few bites she said, "Last you talked to me, you were a virgin and not interested in going all the way. Then I walk in to wake you this morning and I find you covered in what looked like sperm with more sperm still leaking from your vagina. May I assume that you are no longer a virgin?"

I sighed and said, "Yes, Mom, it's true. That was cum on me, and I am no longer a virgin."

"I didn't even know that you were dating anyone seriously," my mom said. She looked sad and confused as she asked, "What happened? Who are you seeing and why did you decide to do this so suddenly?"

What to explain? How to explain? I sighed and slumped back from the table, my appetite gone. I didn't want to lie to my mom, but how could I tell her the truth? Start small, that's the best way.

"It was Jeff," I told her.

Mom also sat back and said, "Well, that's a surprise. I didn't think you two were ever going to be that way. What changed your mind?"

Why was she probing like this? Why can't she just leave it alone?

"Why do you need to know?" I asked.

"I don't need to know," Mom replied. "But your behavior has suddenly changed. You were proud of the fact that you never let anyone touch you, and now I find you, as you put it, with cum all over you. It's a surprise, and I want to make sure that everything is OK.

"If you had been dating someone seriously, and it turned to sex, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash; I never really expected you to save yourself until your wedding night. Besides, you are going to go off to college next year, and I know the kind of trouble that you can get into there. But I trust you to take care of yourself when you go off to college. I trust you now. I am not going to punish you for having sex. I just worry about you, and I want to understand why you did such a 180. If you don't want to talk about it, just tell me to mind my own business."

I pondered what my mom had said, and I hated her for it. Here she had given me a perfect out. I could just tell her that I didn't want to talk about it. But she was so reasonable that I felt guilty not talking to her about it. Damn! Why did she have to be so reasonable?

I sighed and started talking. I told her about when I started masturbating. I told her about my dreams and fantasies. I told her why I never let boys touch me. I kept waiting for the disapproval, the disgust, the disappointment. But Mom didn't say anything. She just listened and made the appropriate understanding noises.

I went on to tell her how I knew that I would have to give in to my feelings some day, and that I asked Jeff for the favor.

"What exactly did you ask him for?" she asked.

"I asked him to own me," I replied. "From the beginning of the summer until when I graduate, I would do anything he asked. In exchange, he has to treat me badly. He has to humiliate me. He has to hurt me. He has to do all those deep dark things that I fantasize about that I can't do for myself."

"And he agreed to that?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes, mother," I said. "I know you think that he is this nice, unoffending person, but he has a pretty dark side too."

"I never saw that in him," she said.

"Most people don't, but it's there," I told her. "I knew that he would do this for me, not because he necessarily gets off on it, but because he would know that I need it. Although, to be fair, he does get off on it."

"So what has he had you do?" she asked.

I looked at her askance. "Are you really sure that I should be telling you all the dirty secrets of my deviance? I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to be disgusted with me."

"Darling, you should not worry about that," my mother reassured me. "I love you, and I will always accept you. I may not always approve of your decisions, but I will always support you. Besides, you have no idea what disgusts me and what does not."

"I guess that's true," I acknowledged.

"Were you worried about all of this disgusting Jeff?" Mom asked.

"Not really," I replied. "Well, that's not true. A little at the beginning. But one thing about Jeff is that he loves rules. I set up some rules and he was willing to abide by them. One of the rules was that he could never do anything that would make him lose respect for me, so I am not worried that anything we do will disgust him that much."

"Jeff loves rules?" Mom asked. "That surprises me. He doesn't strike me as a goody two shoes type."

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that," I told her. "Jeff likes to understand the rules. If he agrees with them, then he will abide by them, but he will learn them perfectly so that he knows exactly how far he can go and what loopholes there are. On the other hand, there are many rules that he won't follow, because he doesn't believe that they are correct, or that they should apply to him. But you can rest assured that if he accepts the rules, he will abide by them."

"So what were the rules you set down?" Mom asked.

"No permanent marks, he had to respect me, and it's over after graduation," I told her.

"That's it?" Mom asked, surprised. "He takes that much stock in rules and you gave him only those. It leaves a lot of ground uncovered."

"I wanted to leave it uncovered," I explained. "That's what makes it exciting to me. I want to be in his control." I shivered at the thought, and Mom gave me a funny smile.

"You still didn't tell me what he did to you," she said.

"OK, just tell me to stop if it's too much information." I then proceeded to tell her everything, from the moment I took my clothes off for him the first time, right up until Neal came on my body.

When I was done, I slumped back and looked at Mom. She was examining me in return, and it felt like she was looking into my soul. After about five minutes of silence that seemed to stretch out forever, Mom said, "Go ask Jeff to come over here, dear."