Chapter 7: Pool Party Redux

The next morning was warmer than it had been, so I spent some time making a whole lot of tea and lemonade. I made a store run and bought lots of pop, chips and dip. Linda and Jamie arrived a little after noon; Jamie got wet, Susan and Linda went to Susan's room and "talked."

A little after one, the first of Susan and Jamie's friends started to arrive; Susan was bright-eyed and obviously happy. Linda helped me set out chips and stuff.

Nancy arrived and with her was a blonde-haired girl, younger, I thought than Susan, maybe eleven or twelve.

"Laura, this is Carolyn Gamble." She turned to the girl. "Carolyn, this is my friend, Laura."

"How do you do?" I said with a smile.

"Good," the young girl told me.

Carolyn was wearing a pair of white shorts that came up nearly to her navel and went down her legs nearly to her knees. She was wearing a yellow halter-top, knotted in the front. Carolyn had the blondest hair I'd ever seen, that and clear blue eyes staring out from a very delicate face.

"Aunt Nancy said it would be okay if I came over. She said that some of the other girls were going to practice dance routines." She smiled at me, a warm, pretty smile that would have warmed the coldest heart. I tried hard to keep the warmth I was feeling located near my heart, instead of lower down.

"Some day, I'm going to be on Star Search," Carolyn said quietly, with great confidence.

"What's that?" I asked.

Nancy laughed, "Oh, you're in for it now! Carolyn lives and breathes that show!"

"Aunt Nancy really isn't my aunt," Carolyn went on. "She and Mom have been friends since they were my age." She paused and then said, "You really don't know about Star Search?"

"Really," I said, shaking my head. "I don't watch very much TV. News now and then, that's about it."

"Oh, it's so cool!" She started explaining it, and I listened intently. Around me, more and more girls kept arriving until there were nearly as many as there'd been the week before.

Nancy smiled at me over Carolyn's head and I smiled back. I'd been Carolyn's age once; I'd had things I'd wanted to do and I'd gotten to do some of them. My life hadn't turned out badly, not badly at all, but I'd certainly not done all the things I'd wanted to.

"Carolyn is one of my dance students on the side." Nancy said, "Denise, Carolyn's mom, is one of the best dancers I ever met. Carolyn... on the far side of best."

She waved. "Carolyn, lift your foot," Nancy asked.

Carolyn did the leg lift, as I'd not done so many years before. Carolyn gracefully lifted and pointed it straight into the air; unlike the girl so many years gone, this time no one was there to help her balance. Without further direction Carolyn dropped to a split, then rolled over on her back, like a snow angel without the snow.

Instead of staying a snow angel, she pulled her legs up over her head, both of them, kept rolling, until she was on her stomach, her legs curling around to rest on her head. Then she stood up from that position by planting her feet and pushing herself up, another amazing move.

"That's... unusual," I said, trying to think of something besides bizarre and freaky that a human being could bend like Carolyn could.

Nancy sighed. "I keep telling Carolyn that you have to be flexible to dance. I'm not sure what that is, but it's not dance, but it sure is flexible!"

"Oh pooh!" the young girl said. She bounded to her feet, did a pirouette in mid air, hands delicately displayed over her head, toes pointed elegantly down. She landed lightly, jumped again, the other direction. Very, very pretty.

"There, happy? Anyone in my dance class can do jumps. None of them can pretzelize."

Carolyn wasn't, I thought, unhappy, even if it was clear that her heart was far more into being a human pretzel than being a ballerina.

"Sure, Carolyn," Nancy agreed. "And as you say, anyone in your ballet class can jump and spin." Nancy paused for dramatic effect. "Of course, none of them jump three feet straight up, do two spins and land like you were just doing a one eighty."

"Well..." Carolyn shrugged.

I jumped, spun, and managed three quarters of a revolution. My landing wasn't very graceful either. Nancy promptly did a jump, she got all the way around, but wasn't as high as either Carolyn or I.

"You're right, Carolyn. Anyone can jump and spin. Just none of us do it as well you do," I told her.

Carolyn took two steps and was on the side of the pool. She did a flip up into the air, straightened out and knifed into the water feet first, seemingly oblivious to the fact she was still wearing street clothes.

"Her mom needed a time-out," Nancy said with a laugh. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. What a little bundle of energy!"

"Denise tries, but I don't think the energizer bunny could keep up with Carolyn."

A bit later Nancy and I went in the pool and swam some laps. We were sitting and talking on the edge of the pool when I felt someone come up behind me. "Guess who?" Hands went around my eyes, and I could feel a warm body behind me.

"Ah, well, it can't be Garfield the cat," I said, trying hard to fight down the sudden surge of hormones. Cool it, Laura! This is a friend of a friend, and she barely has breasts! There's bound to be a lower limit to these things! Don't go goofy over an eleven-year-old!

"Why not?" a gruff voice answered behind me.

"Well, he'd have claws and fur. It can't be Nancy, because I can see her. My daughter Susan is over there talking to some of her friends at the table. Hmmm... I wonder. Maybe Carolyn?"

"Maybe," the gruff voice replied. "And maybe the Creature from the Black Lagoon!"

"Probably not," I told her, "he likes to drag his victims underwater."

I was promptly pushed in, but not so fast I didn't have a chance to take a breath. To push me in, though, she had to put her hands firmly in the middle of my back. I went with the motion, very much faster, making a large splash. Carolyn overbalanced and fell in too. I stayed underwater, turned and moved close to her before I planted a kiss on her belly button, blowing lots of bubbles and using my tongue and making a fair amount of noise.

Carolyn shrieked with laughter, squirming to get away. I surfaced fast, spraying more water. Carolyn shook the water from her eyes, laughing. "You're fun!" she told me.

Nancy came up behind me in the water. "I've had enough sun for one day -- any more and I'll have tan lines again." She nodded at Carolyn. "And much more sun and you'll be a crispy critter yourself."

Nancy hopped out of the pool, started toweling off. I met Carolyn's eyes. "Having a good time?" I asked quietly.

"The best! Thanks for inviting us."

"It's nice to see so many kids having a good time. But, I think we've both had a little too much sun."

"My mom says its a wonder. After two thousand years of technology, they can't make sun block stay on in the water."

"No incentive since we can get out and put on our clothes," I said as got out of the pool myself.

Carolyn came out and we both toweled off. "I'm going to get some more tea and soda for everyone," I told Carolyn. "Would you like to help?"

She nodded and I led the way inside. It took a few seconds to bring out replacements, and then I went back inside to get some ice.

"I think you're really nice," Carolyn said as I poured more cubes into the ice bucket.

"You're nice too," I replied, feeling silly; the conversation sounded like I was Carolyn's age myself. I hated adults talking down to me when I was growing up.

Susan and most of her friends were now congregated on the patio, out of the sun, talking amongst themselves. Two of them had their heads together, kissing I thought.

Nancy and Linda were sitting not far away, talking about plans for the camp weekend. I saw Carolyn's eyes were on Susan and her friends, including the pair who were now definitely kissing.

For a second I saw something in her eyes; not the happy young girl she'd been a moment before, but sadness and wistful loneliness.

"Would you show me where the bathroom is?" Carolyn asked out of the blue.

I considered just giving her the directions, but the look she gave me told me she wanted to talk.

I got up and went inside, Carolyn once again leading the way. We reached the hall, the bathroom was untenanted. "Laura, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Carolyn."

"Are you like Mom? Aunt Nancy?"

I was pretty sure I knew what she meant. "A week ago, I'd have said no. Now..." I shrugged. "Yes, I think I am."

I saw her eyes widen, I'd surprised her, I thought. "A week ago I was a widow, a woman who'd been happily married for a long time to a very nice man. I was sad after he died. I wasn't really thinking about..." I stopped talking, unsure I wanted to speak my mind.

"Sex?" Carolyn said helpfully.

"Sex," I agreed. "Then out of the blue, I saw someone, and it was..." I shook my head. "I was curious; I found I liked being with her."

"Mom says that girls should be with girls until they get older. But that it was a choice, not written in the stars. There's nothing wrong, Mom says, about putting off that kind of choice. You have to be ready." She met my eyes. "I don't know... It's really frustrating. How do you know if you're ready?"

"I wasn't, until I was in college," I told her. "Then it was with the man I married. It was nice; we got married, then Susan came along." I sighed. "I wish I'd had another child, maybe two."

I waved towards the outside. "Susan... she's made her choice already."

"Were you mad?" Carolyn asked.

I shook my head. "No, not even a little. If she'd taken up with a boy... maybe. Too many bad things can happen with boys at her age." And yours, but I kept the thought to myself.

"You don't mind me asking all these questions?"

"No, of course not. I think if I'd had someone, a friend, to ask questions to, maybe I'd have made the same choices Susan has. But I pretty much kept my nose in a book when I was in school. I didn't have many friends. None of them close friends, not close enough to talk to about things."

"Me too." Carolyn scrunched her face. "I hate school. Most of the kids... they can't learn two plus two without having to repeat it ten thousand times." A short pause. "They think I'm a freak." She waved in the direction of the patio. "They think I'm a freak."

I decided laughing would be a good way to break the moment, so I put it on hold. "Carolyn, you are a very pretty girl, who can do something very unusual. Unusual things make some people uncomfortable."

A pair of girls came in from outside, obviously wanting to use the bathroom. It was clear Carolyn still wanted to talk. I could hear low conversation coming from the living room, I was pretty sure Carolyn didn't want to hold this conversation in public.

"Let's go in here," I said, pointing to my bedroom, "if you want to talk some more."

She nodded, led the way, sitting down on my bed. I paused for a microsecond going through the door. Leave it open, or close it? Would closing it be uncomfortable for Carolyn? I laughed at myself. Or because no one will know what goes on with the door closed? I closed it, then sat down next to Carolyn.

"Mom says I'm a freak," Carolyn said flat out. "Aunt Nancy... she thinks I'm wasting time that I could spend on dancing."

"Sometimes it's easiest to hurt the people closest to you," I told her. "We don't mean to, but because we know them, have known them for a long time, it's easy not to notice when we hurt their feelings."

Memories flooded back. "I don't like to wear makeup," I told her. "I thought it was stupid, when I was your age. I watched my mom spend hours at it, every day. Sometimes, more than once a day. I don't like the taste of lipstick. I don't like powder; it gets all over things." I had a roommate in college who dusted herself with baby powder after a shower. For years after that I had baby powder in everything I owned.

"Mom was furious with me. 'You can't go out in public without makeup!' she told me. I told her it was a big waste of time." I shrugged, and then laughed. "So she grounded me." I shook my head. "Since I didn't want to go out anyway, I didn't care. I just thought she was dumb." I waved to the bathroom off my room.

"You can go in there and you won't find anything. Some skin cream, that's about it. Chap stick."

"Cool!" Carolyn said, laughing. "I can't imagine you getting grounded."

"Oh, I imagine if you were to check, you'd find out your mom was too. Nancy as well, I bet. It happens to all of us."

She nodded, her eyes bright. "I'm not a freak."

"No, you're a very pretty girl, like I said. I mean, if you belched or farted in public -- that would be pretty awful. Just because you can twist yourself in a pretzel; that's nothing. If it's something you like to do, well, exercise never hurt anyone."

"You're nice," Carolyn murmured. "I told Mom I wanted to be home schooled, but she thinks it's important to socialize." She made the last word sound almost obscene. "The kids at school make fun of me, they tease me. I can learn without really trying; they try and try and try. It's really boring."

"Do you get in trouble?" I asked, curious.

She looked at me like I'd taken leave of my senses. "No, I just stand there and take it. Sometimes I get really angry, then I think about how dumb they all are... and it goes away."

"Michelangelo spent years sculpting David, one of the greatest artists of all time, creating one of the most beautiful statues ever made. Some bird-brained moron with a sledgehammer could ruin it in two minutes. Carolyn, there is no way to avoid all the little people of the world, but you do have to learn to get along with them to some degree. Not all of them are bad."

"I know. It's just... I really wish I had someone to talk to."

"You can talk to me, if you want," I told her. "I like talking to you."

"We could be friends?" she asked, her eyes bright.

"Sure."

"Best friends?"

"Like I said, sure," I repeated.

"You're really nice," Carolyn told me, "I like you a lot."

"I like you too," I said.

"Mom and Aunt Nancy are best friends," Carolyn said, her eyes on me.

She was hinting at something I didn't really want to hear. I'm attracted to you, Carolyn. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it was getting hard to ignore. "Would you like to be that kind of friends?" I asked, my heart suddenly hammering in my chest.

"Mom and Aunt Nancy do things. Dad just laughs, he says girl are girls. Mom told me once about how girls make love." She met my eyes. "She said it was up to me if I ever wanted to do that. Do you want to do sex things with me, Laura?"

"Carolyn, your mom was right about it being up to you. I would like to be with you, yes. But you have to want to be with me."

Her clear blue eyes regarded me. "I don't have very big boobies yet. But I touch myself, and I can make myself come." A shy smile. "I like doing that."

"I did it myself, last night," I told her.

"You're lonely?" The thought seemed to surprise her.

"Well, I was lonely last night."

"I could rub you, kiss you... make you come?" Carolyn asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes," I answered. "And I'd do the same thing for you."

"Mom told me it's nicer when someone else rubs you; nicer still when you like them. And the best when you love them." She lifted her chin, defiant. "I always like the best."

She leaned close, obviously wanting to be kissed. I leaned close, brushed her lips with mine, and then pulled back.

"I said it had to be something you wanted," I told her.

"I do," Carolyn replied.

"I'd like to ask a favor, best friend to best friend."

She bobbed her head.

"I want to kiss you one more time. Then I want you to think about this for a week. And I will, too. We can talk on the phone, we can visit. But until a week is over, I don't think we should do anything more."

"You don't think I'm old enough," she said, a hurt expression on her face.

"I don't know you that well, Carolyn." The hurt look deepened. "I think you probably are old enough, but it's something too important to make a mistake about. Please, let's think about it for a week."

I leaned close and kissed her, this time with a lot more wattage in the kiss. Carolyn was shy and inexperienced, but she learned fast. I didn't kiss her long, pulling back.

"Now, we should go back outside. Carolyn, I promise you, we will be friends, whether or not we do things like your mom and Nancy. You can call me, even if it's just homework or you want someone to talk to."

We got up and went back outside.

The girls had obviously learned that I was now 'cool' and there was quite a bit of kissing and touching going on. Linda was sitting with Susan on a lounge chair, Susan leaning forward, letting Linda put sun block on her back. It was quite obvious Linda was doing a thorough job and Susan was enjoying the attention immensely.

Nancy was sitting at a table with three girls, all talking intently about a new dance routine. Older girls, I thought.

Jaime was sitting on the edge of the pool at the shallow end, looking around her at what was going on, a big grin on her face.

I felt a stir next to me and I saw a wicked grin on Carolyn's face. With a slither I could never duplicate, actually probably very few people could duplicate, she was lying on her back on the concrete of the pool deck. With an odd move that reminded me of a World War I tank, she 'rolled' off the edge. Like the tiger in Calvan and Hobbes, I thought.

I looked down in the clear water of the pool, slightly surprised by how few ripples Carolyn had made as she went into the water. I saw her stop at the bottom, then scissor kick like a frog, zipping through the water. A second she came up, about six inches from Jaime's feet, splashing Jaime when she did.