Chapter 18: Toy Shopping

I woke later, heard a soft sound and turned to look. Carolyn had her eyes shut and she was rubbing her clit very fast. She started to climax and, for a bit, drifted, her eyes wide open, but unseeing. I hadn't masturbated often when I was in junior high, not much more when I was in high school or college. I'd done it often enough, though, to recognize that Carolyn had achieved satisfaction for herself.

I leaned close and kissed her on the nose. "Good morning, my friend."

She started. I'd been right, I thought, she might have had her eyes open, but she hadn't seen anything.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" Carolyn asked, anxious.

"No, it's just about the time I usually get up," I told her.

"It's not wrong, is it, to want sex stuff so much?"

"No, it's not wrong."

"I rub myself a lot at home. Mom says I need to be quieter."

"You were fine just now; not a peep," I said with a smile.

With the awesome and breathtaking mental leaps that the young are capable; she changed the subject radically. "Yesterday, when we were swimming June was showing us how strong she is! Wow, is she ever strong!"

"Yes she is," I agreed.

"She picked me up," Carolyn went on. "She put one hand around my front, another behind me and she lifted me up. But her hand was... there... you know. It felt like when I rub myself."

Careful, June, I thought. Careful.

"It felt really nice and I couldn't help wiggling. She touched my button, and..." Carolyn sighed. "It was like just now. Like last night."

Oh June, you playful little fox! We both have to be careful!

"She asked me if I was going to be at your party Saturday and I said yes. She said we could have a lot of fun together then."

"That's up to you, Carolyn," I said with a smile.

She smiled back. "June's friends were with Susan at the other end of the pool. I think they were touching too."

My alarm clock picked then to go off, so I turned it off. I gave Carolyn a little hug. "Want to take a shower together?"

Carolyn giggled. "Mom and Aunt Nancy shower a lot!"

I went into the bathroom, turned on the water, and stripped out of my nightie.

I really liked this house from the first time I saw it. It was laid out well, the rooms were large and the closets were huge. But who goes around and turns on the faucets to see how long it takes the hot water to arrive? It was a mistake I'd never make again; still, most days I wait impatiently the minute or so it takes for the hot water to arrive in my bathroom.

Not today. Carolyn came in having shed her panties, smiling at me shyly. I smiled back, and I waved to the shower and explained about having to wait.

I stared at Carolyn. I'd gotten used to the surge of hormones that I got looking at the girls, but this time was a stronger surge than most. Carolyn undressed was a completely different person than Carolyn dressed for the street; an order of magnitude sexier than she'd been in her bathing suit or just wearing panties. My eyes kept coming back to the perfect curves, the tight muscles bunched under the pale skin of her bottom.

It is a good thing my sense of duty and obligation is as strong as it is; I wanted nothing more than to take Carolyn into my bed and spend the rest of the day making love to her.

We got under the spray, getting wet; then I was soaping the washcloth and running it over Carolyn's bottom. I spent a lot of time there, before finishing her back and then turning her around to do her front. I spent a bit rubbing her budding breasts, much longer washing her sex. Too long. After a second I let the washcloth go and simply fondled Carolyn's clit, sliding my finger along the folds of her vaginal lips. She came, and that seemed to break the spell I was under.

Still, Carolyn insisted on her washing me, so she tried to do the same things to me. I knew we were taking too long, but it seemed churlish to ask her to hurry. When she soaped my breasts, I was only mildly stimulated, a little more so when she rubbed my clit.

Then we were out and drying off, getting dressed. A quick breakfast for Carolyn and Susan; all too soon I was dropping them off at school.

Nancy had called early and told me to hold onto Carolyn's suitcase. "I'll pick her up from school, then come and get it. Denise is..." She sighed. "I don't know what Denise is. That time of the month, that time in her life. We've been close for a long time; it's like each day she's a completely different person. Terry, her husband is being really good and patient, but..." Another sigh, "No one can take the abuse Denise is dishing out right now without some damage."

"I'll do what I can to help. How's the girl from the team? Elizabeth?"

"She was in surgery until past midnight. She was riding in the back seat of her mother's car and a big SUV tried to run a red light, broad-sided them after having hit another car first. The rear window shattered, and bits of glass hit Liz in the face; she was really badly cut.

"Permanent eye damage, permanent facial scars. It was a big SUV, going very fast."

"It's not good," I told her, "and you hate to take comfort from something that awful happening, but at least her mom still has a daughter."

"Her mom's in critical condition, very critical."

I let out a sob. "I'm so stupid! God, I'm stupid!"

"You wanted to put the best face on it, Laura. I understand. Just sometimes... life bites."

"Yes."

I sat poolside later, staring out at the water; too much to think about, that was for sure.

Eventually I decided yes, I was a pervert and I that I could do one of two things about it: try to stuff the genie back in the bottle or relax and enjoy it. Unenlightened self-interest won that argument, hands down. Literally, because I started masturbating, right there in the morning sun. I'd not really done it for a long time, but it was in more like riding a bicycle than sex with Gail had been. You never forget.

I wasn't interested in teasing or taking my time; I rubbed my clit very fast, pulling on my breasts. After about two minutes I moaned, came, then pushed ahead, coming again a minute or so later.

I sighed, wishing right then for someone, anyone, to make my day by making love to me. I decided that the clothes that were now half off could come off all the way; I stood and started to take off my blouse.

Sherrie was standing at the sliding glass door, nude. Her hands buried between her legs, rubbing herself as frantically as I'd just been. Her eyes were closed, I saw, which brought a smile to me.

Looking at her nude brought the same pangs I'd felt watching Carolyn earlier in the morning. My insides were twisted up in knots, my hormones were screaming for more, more, more...

Sherrie came, and then opened her eyes, smiling. She saw me and blushed for a second.

I was so proud of the fact that I'd never made an aggressive move towards one of the girls. I stepped towards her, and she opened the door. I stopped a few inches short of her, willing my hands to stay at my sides, instead of reaching out for her.

"You want to make love, don't you?" Sherrie asked.

"Yes."

"Even if we're inside?" She was teasing, I knew. I could see it in her eyes.

"In my bed, actually."

"A bed you shared with Carolyn, last night."

I nodded.

"I like watching you by yourself or with Marybeth. I don't know if I'd like watching you with Carolyn."

I shrugged. "Not a lot to watch." I knew in my heart of hearts, while it was sort of a true statement, it wasn't a true reflection of my feelings. Carolyn and I were engaged in the sort of sex play I imagined Susan had, with her friend back on Long Island.

My eyes dwelled on Sherrie's breasts, breasts that were a little larger than Jackie's, but not much. Hemispheres without sag, nipples that were erect.

I took a step closer, my erect nipples meeting hers. Sherrie moved so that our nipples rubbed together, making mine even harder.

Sherrie ran her fingers over my nipples, and then trailed down to my stomach, then lower still. She brushed my clit, and I nearly came. I saw a smile on her face. "What?" I asked softly.

"You should think about shaving or at least trimming this." She ran her fingers through my bush. "You have such a nice clit, but I imagine it would be a lot easier to touch with less hair."

I contemplated that, picturing myself in my mind when I'd been Carolyn's age, curious as I could be about the mysteries that were hidden in the folds of skin.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the edge of the tub, Sherrie applying scissors to thin the hair, then taking a second to look critically at what she'd done. All along I'd been slowly climbing the walls, desperate for something more than the occasional touch.

She reached up to the windowsill and pulled down the bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo I kept there. "You use this?" she asked, half amused.

"I don't like soap in my eyes," I told her.

"That's good, because regular soap can burn the soft tissues!"

She set to me with a razor that had last seen duty making my legs smooth, being careful. I started to say something about how Sherrie seemed to be quite knowledgeable about technique, but elected to keep my mouth shut.

I stood up and we made love there in the shower, with Sherrie using her fingers to give me a lot more pleasure than I could remember from any other shower. I tried to give her the benefit of my lessons from Marybeth; we ended up in my bed, Sherrie between my legs, lapping and sucking me to several orgasms.

Then she got up, giggled, and told me she had to get ready for school. I slapped her lightly on the bottom as she turned to leave. "I will, I promise, repay you in kind!"

Sherrie grinned at me over her shoulder, but kept going.

I went and sat down on the bed. I had, I thought, hit the nail on the head. Sherrie had given me money to live in my house. How could I justify what just happened with that? I could easily tell Sherrie not to bother any more... but what if her parents found out that she was no longer paying rent? That would be a clear indication that something was going on.

On the other hand, what would Sherrie's reaction be if I told her I didn't want rent money any more?

I dressed in time to give Sherrie a very chaste goodbye hug, and I went back to the kitchen. I fixed myself some toast and a glass of juice, and I sat outside next to the pool. After a while, I decided that the best solution would be to do something unexpected. Then several threads of thought came together and I grinned.

When I was finished eating, I went back in the kitchen and called Marybeth.

"Morning," I said when she picked up the phone. "Not too early, I hope."

"Oh, I'm kind of a late riser these day... why a couple of weeks ago I slept in to almost seven."

"I have kind of a personal question to ask."

"You know me," she laughed.

"I do, I do."

"I'd come over and offer to sip some of your tea, but I have a raft of errands to run this morning."

"I'll be quick. The other day reminded me that Susan has a birthday coming. I was thinking about getting her a toy or something. We'd talked about them and you mentioned you'd seen something like I was thinking about. Could you tell me where that store is?"

She gave me the address and laughed. "For Susan?"

"Who else?" I asked with a straight face.

I considered going right then, but decided that odds were a place that sold 'toys' might not have the same hours as Costco or Home Depot.

I heard someone outside the front door and a knock. It was June and company. "Can we swim for a while, Laura?" June asked.

"Sure, no problem."

They hit the water, doing some laps. I should do that, I thought. I went into my bedroom and changed into my bathing suit.

They were still swimming strong when I got in and they kept at it longer than I did, June in particular. I ended up sitting on the steps in the shallow end, half submerged. I was fascinated by June's thinness, accentuated by her two-piece suit -- and her ability to keep going and going and going.

Sylvia and Toni got out and started to use the diving board. I watched them for a bit, but it was clear they knew what they were doing.

June pulled up next to me and stopped a few feet away from me. "Yesterday, that girl Carolyn?" I nodded, remembering what Carolyn said had happened yesterday. "She should get a diving coach."

"A diving coach?" The direction the conversation was taking wasn't at all what I'd expected.

"Yeah, I mean she's fantastic right now; I talked to her and she said she's never had lessons, she just does it. Our diving coach from the country club team would go ape if he saw her."

"I saw her dive once the other day," I admitted. "She looked pretty good. I haven't really watched her very much, though."

I studied June for a moment, and then said what was on my mind. "She told me you picked her up." I was curious how June would respond.

June shrugged. "It's kind of a trick, kind of not. When you pick up someone who's in the water, they aren't very heavy. We float, you know?"

I nodded, yes, indeed we did. "But, when you lift someone up, less and less is in the water." She smiled at me. "I'm really strong. I can lift two people Carolyn's size, even out of the water. One handed."

What had Jay said about Karen? She'd "pulverized" the man who attacked her. June had broken Jamie's nose; maybe Jamie should count her blessings.

Evidently, June was a mind reader. "When I hit Jamie, at the last second, I knew it was wrong. I tried to stop. I'm glad I didn't hit her as hard as I wanted to, the first few seconds."

"I'm glad you didn't either. When I was in junior high my mom used to make me so mad. Once, I lost my temper and threw everything in my room around. Emptied the drawers, took everything out of my closet and threw it on the floor. Clothes, papers, school books... everything." I shook my head. "Let's just say my dad applied his hand to my bottom in a very firm way."

She smiled. "I spent a lot of time cleaning my room afterwards, a lot of time making sure I never lost my temper again." I waved towards the house. "The other day when the social worker was here..." After a second, I met her eyes. "She really pushed my buttons."

"They do it on purpose, Dad says. They want to make you angry, if they succeed, it shows that you're no good. They take your kids away; they put them in juvenile hall or foster care... out of sight, out of mind. More work for them... doesn't matter what it costs anyone else."

I remembered the meeting, remembered my anger, almost rage. Had Sanchez been goading me? At the time I thought she lacked a soul, all human compassion and understanding. Had she been goading me as well? Both, I thought. Soulless as well as prodding me to make me jump.

I slid a little forward, sank to the bottom of the pool. I'd never thought about drowning as an anger management tool, but after thirty or forty seconds, the anger I'd felt was wholly replaced by the urge to surface and take a breath. I let it go another few seconds, then came up.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Laura," June said quietly.

"It wasn't you, June, it wasn't you." Dear God! Was I so utterly transparent that a teenage girl could look right through me?

I realized the diving board was now silent, I glanced down at the other end of the pool; saw that Sylvia and Toni were kissing.

June saw my glance and turned around to look behind her. "Those two..." June said with a laugh, shaking her head. "You would think with as much time as they spend together, they'd get tired of it. But no..."

"It's not a problem limited to them -- or even limited to teenagers."

She looked at me steadily. Well, Laura, this time the ball's in your court. I was nervous as well as thoroughly jazzed.

Yet, for the first time I paused. Gail, Susan, Jamie, Jackie, Sherrie, Nancy, Marybeth. Carolyn, a little. Amy, a little. Fred in theory. The list was already too long. June?

I pictured the list of names written in chalk on a black board. I stood in front of the list, contemplating the names. With cold deliberation I reached out and rubbed June's name off the list. Then Gail and Jackie. A memory of this morning -- had Carolyn been thinking of me or June when she'd had her orgasm this morning? I rubbed Carolyn's name off the list.

I pictured the young police officer, his eyes glued to Sherrie's breasts. You don't know it Sherrie, but I don't think you're going to be on the list much longer. The list was still too long. After Nancy and Marybeth, none of the names on the list was a rational choice... no matter how much my heart went pitter-pat at the thought.

"Laura?" June's question brought me back.

"Sorry," I told her, then smiled at her. "I think I'm going inside and get some tea," I told her.

I walked to the pool steps, climbed out without a glance at Toni and Sylvia and went inside and poured myself some tea. When I settled back down on the picnic table, the three girls were diving again.

"Ladies!" I called. They all stopped and looked at me. I waved the tea glass. "Last night was the last time you were company; starting today, you can serve yourselves. There's tea, juice and soda in the fridge."

They continued to dive for a while, and then swam a bit more. Then they got out, June went inside and coming back in a bit with three cans of coke. They sat at the other table talking, while I just contemplated sunlight glints on the pool.

It was, I thought, a watershed event. I'd wanted June. No doubt in my mind, if I had started something, she'd have responded. But I hadn't started anything, so the idea that I wasn't initiating sex with the girls still held true. It seemed like a flimsy thread, but I clung to it.

Once again I pulled up my mental list. What had made up my mind in each case? Gail? Gail was too hungry; Amy might have forgiven Fred and shrugged off Gail. I liked Gail as a person, but liking was going to have to be enough for Gail.

Jackie? Jackie had already moved on. If she were to come back, it would be for nostalgia or old times sake. I wasn't into either.

Carolyn was ready to move on as well. It hadn't taken much to give her the self-confidence she needed. I would gently, very gently, make sure that last night and this morning never happened again. Carolyn was too close to the abyss; I didn't want to go there and I was thinking maybe she knew that. After each time we'd gotten intimate, Carolyn had rushed off to be with someone her own age. Better for you, Carolyn.

Sherrie. I laughed at the thought. Sherrie was the simplest puzzle of them all. Her friend Ann had left her, but in truth, Ann simply beat Sherrie to the punch. Sherrie liked sex, and she had a wild streak... but I'd seen the light in her eyes when she talked about the police officer. If it wasn't that young man, it would be another. It was time for Sherrie to realize the obvious and not allow herself to be distracted -- by me or anyone else.

Once, not all that long ago, Linda had told me that most girls from the cheerleaders went straight in college and lived happy lives ever after. I suspected that perhaps in middle age there might be a little nostalgia and perhaps an occasional return to old preferences. Linda was right, though.

I looked at the next table and met June's eye. She knew what I'd been thinking earlier. She hadn't been put off, but she if she'd been truly interested, she'd concealed it well. I was, I thought, someone new and exotic. Interesting. Perhaps I was, but that wasn't the best reason to make love to someone. It wasn't even a good reason to make love to someone.

June knew I was looking at her and she stuck her tongue out at me in an impudent manner.

I chuckled, got up, walked over to her, reached out and pulled her suit top away from her breasts. I dumped my ice dregs from my glass into her suit top. "Be cool!" I admonished.

Sylvia and Toni had looked surprised for a second, traded looks and then started giggling hysterically.

I sat back down. June flipped me a bird, but she was laughing too.

"That worked," June said, trying to maintain some aplomb. "I'm not nearly as horny as I was a second ago."

"Probably for the best," I agreed.

She looked at me, and then nodded. "Maybe."

"For the best," I repeated.

June shrugged. "Okay."

A while later, they bid me goodbye and headed home for what I was sure was going to be a heavy afternoon of lessons.

I took a quick shower, then got in the car and headed off to do a little shopping.

The store was "Cathy's Cool World" in a small strip mall, closer to Paradise Valley than to Scottsdale. In the main part of the store it rather resembled Victoria's Secret, except there was more than sexy undergarments. Cathy seemed to be aiming at keeping a woman cool from the temperature. There were any number of filmy bras, slips and panties. But, on top of those, so to speak, were thin pants and blouses, as well as teddies and peignoirs. If it could be made out of gossamer fabric, Cathy had it for sale.

I found a pair of pajamas for Susan; while they were opaque in their normal state, they were also stretchable. Moreover, when stretched, they were the opposite of opaque. The trick was to get a set just a size or so too small.

I could see the little alcove that Marybeth had told me about, where the toys were located. There were two women who were standing at the cash register, talking to each other. That didn't bother me, which was nice, as I hate "help" when I'm browsing.

I laughed at myself after a minute. The thing to do was to walk through the door, I thought. If it was going to embarrass me enough to keep me out, what was the point?

I walked towards the door and went through it.

Marybeth had said alcove; the room on the other side was easily the largest alcove I'd seen. It was about forty feet long and twenty feet wide; the aisles and walls were lined with counters and showcases.

A young woman in her early twenties was working stocking shelves. When I came in, she looked up.

She was dark-skinned, dark-haired and dark-eyed. She looked me up and down, put down what she was doing and came towards me. "You must be Laura," she said, holding out her hand. "Marybeth said you might be coming sooner rather than later."

It was on the tip of my tongue to say that evidently Marybeth knew me quite well, but I decided to keep my mouth firmly shut. I'd have said too much.

She smiled at me. "I'm Elena Bustamonte." I finished the handshake and let my hand drop. She smiled at me. "I graduated from Scottsdale. I think you could say I majored in cheer in high school."

In other words, she had a pretty good idea where I stood.

I decided that I wasn't going to be equally forthright. "I have a friend who has birthday coming up. I was thinking she might like something a little better than what she uses now." I swallowed; it was harder to say than I thought. "A dildo," I concluded lamely, stumbling over the word. Maybe I was being a little too forthright.

She smiled at me, nodded and guided me to a series of counters. Marybeth had been right. Some of the devices on offer were of incredible dimensions. However, they had thoughtfully been graded by size. I started at the length and girth that seemed more suitable for my daughter.

Elena simply talked about the advantages of ribs, of "natural shape." Some could be filled with warm water; some were softer and more flexible than others. They came in a simply amazing variety of sizes and colors.