Chapter 15

I apologised, turned around, and stared at the wall when Erika took off her clothes. The glass of red cordial in my hands was as cold as ice. I took an ice cube from the glass and held it up near my eyes. The ice cube intersected with light rays from the bulb on the ceiling. The ice cube sparkled like a star. With the ice cube in between my fingers, I felt like I was holding a star in my hands

I brought the ice cube closer to my face and stuffed it into my mouth. The molars at the back of my jaw started crushing it into little pieces. The ice cubes crushing at the back of my mouth sent a wave of vibration through my facial bones and down my spine, where it dispersed throughout my whole body.

"You shouldn't eat ice cubes like that," said Erika, throwing her old clothes under the bed and showing off her pink pyjamas to me. "Eating ice cubes isn't good for your teeth."

"Eating junk food isn't good for my health, but I still do it 'cos it feels good."

Erika flicked a switch and turned off the lights. I could still see her because of the moonlight that gushed in through the bedroom window. Rain started to pour outside. The water on the window filtered the moonlight, casting a soft discharge of pale blue inside the room.

I felt hot under the blanket with Erika. She usually slept with two pillows but tonight she sacrificed one for me. Erika slept near the edge of the bed while I slept facing the wall. Her bed was much softer than mine.

I slept with my back towards Erika, afraid that I might breathe in some of her breath if I faced her. After a while, something furry brushed up against my back. I immediately turned over and looked at Erika, who smiled at me. I could barely see her face in the darkness.

"What was that?" I whispered.

"It's my teddy bear," she said. "You can hold it tonight if you want."

"I won't need it."

"The teddy bear will protect you when you sleep."

I thanked her and grabbed the stuffed toy before turning over and facing the wall. The little girl kept her distance and lied down silently for a while, but after a few minutes her bare feet touched the back of my leg. Whether it was deliberate or accidental, I couldn't tell.

Erika's pillow hadn't been washed recently, so my nostrils detected the smell of her hair in the fabric. Also present was the smell of her dry saliva when she slept with her mouth slightly open. The dry saliva was sweet like sugar, but I also detected something sour--perhaps tears.

I slept with the right side of my body against the bed. My eyes stared at the white wall. Erika's feet no longer touched me. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I readjusted the blanket on top of me, afraid that by moving the blanket I might disrupt Erika's sleep. After a while the right side of my body became sore. I needed to switch over and turn sides. When I finally did turn over, I tried my hardest to move as slowly as possible. Any violent movement could prevent Erika from getting any sleep.

My previous fears were realized. I could feel Erika's warm breath on my face, and I'm sure she could feel mine on hers. I stared right into her face in the darkness. She was still awake, and I could tell because moonlight reflected from thin films of liquid on her eyes.

Erika must've started breathing though her mouth because I could smell minty toothpaste and mouthwash. She didn't rinse her mouth out properly. I didn't get a chance to brush my teeth today, so my breath must have been quite repulsive.

Her bare feet touched mine again, and just like before I didn't know whether it was accidental or not. To figure out for sure I pressed the toes on my right foot into her leg. She responded by moving her left foot up my leg till it reached my knee. For some strange reason it seemed like she wanted to touch me.

Erika whispered something. "Keith, are you cold?"

"No, I'm very hot."

"Well, I'm really cold."

I had a feeling I knew what she wanted. "Do you want more of the blanket?" That must have been why I was so hot: I was hogging most of the blanket.

I turned over again, facing the wall. Our positions had changed. Erika was sleeping in the middle of the bed, relegating me to the edge where my knees hit the wall. Sleeping on the edge of a bed was not comfortable. The edge was not as soft as the middle.

"What's wrong, Keith?" she whispered. "You don't look comfortable."

"I don't think there's enough space on your bed for two people."

"You can move closer to me if you want."

I felt her hand on my hips. My body inched closer to the middle of the bed. Her feet lightly wrapped around mine. My bottom rested on her abdomen. Her chest was on my back. Her left arm came over my left shoulder, across my chest, and gripped onto my right shoulder. She pulled me closer. I got so close to her I felt the hair on the back of my head touch her face. It felt strange being in someone else's arms. It's a feeling I've rarely experienced before. My mom and dad never hugged me when I was small. It felt good to be with someone at night because at night I often felt lonely.

Erika spoke. It wasn't a whisper, but her voice was almost inaudible. "Close your eyes and imagine," she said, "that as you lie in bed now and think about your life, more than one hundred million other people are lying in bed doing the same thing. And on the other side of the earth, more than one hundred million people are just getting up from bed. All this is happening right now."

What the little girl said made me think. Her room, inundated by darkness, felt so calm and quiet, but all over the world right now so much was happening.

My eyes opened and I woke up. It was still dark. Erika slept peacefully next to me. She snored a little. Every time she exhaled she made a slight whistling sound. From the bedroom window, I saw the full moon hanging over the sky outside. I looked at Erika's face and wondered whether she was dreaming. Maybe if I brought my head right up close to hers I could see her dreams.