Chapter 14

When I got back from Fiona's house, I realized that I had left my bike locked up at the mall. My memory has never been good.

Mom, Dad, and Sherwin were all sleeping in their rooms. Dad told me earlier that he planted my Venus Fly Trap in the backyard. He recommended I water the plant often so it didn't die. After searching around the house for a hose or a water bottle, I found Dad's gun. Dad is so bad at hiding things.

The last time I spoke to Erika was on Thursday when we got caught going out together. I spoke to her again today. I was in the backyard watering my Venus Fly Trap with a bottle of Evian. The plant's fangs hadn't caught any flies yet, so I was afraid that it might starve to death. As I kneeled near the plant, I heard Erika's voice calling me. It sounded like she was really close to me, and it turned out that she was. She was just behind the fence, spying at me through a hole. She poked her finger through the hole in the fence. Her finger looked like a fat worm squirming through the hole. I sat near the fence and listened to her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Giving water to my plant. I think it's dying."

"Do you know what my dad's going to do to me tomorrow?"

"Yes." I nodded, even though I soon realized she couldn't see me nod.

"Who's that girl I saw you walking with?"

"That's Fiona. She goes to my school."

"Why were you with her?"

"I had to walk her home. Her mom and dad won't let her walk home alone at night."

She paused. "Why don't you climb over the fence now?"

"Why don't you?"

"Because I have something you'll want."

I didn't hesitate. My arms grabbed the top of the fence and my legs followed. Before long my whole body balanced on the top of the fence. My body started leaning towards Wayne's backyard. My foot searched for something to grapple onto, but when it couldn't find anything, I fell. My body slammed against the grass. My head was spinning. I looked up and saw Erika's face.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Today she wore a green dress and a blue t-shirt that was slightly too big for her.

I got up quickly. "I'm fine. This isn't the first time it's happened."

"You've lost your pants." She pointed in between my legs.

I looked up and found my pants on top of the fence. Like before it got caught on the fence, but unlike before it wasn't ripped up. Thank God my underwear was still on. Erika stared at my undies for quite a bit of time. She was probably wondering why I wore pink cotton panties with flowers on them.

"They're yours," I said. "I was gonna return them but forgot."

"I'll get your shorts back." She walked over to the fence with a stick and lifted up my shorts.

"You can have your undies back if you want."

"No thanks. You've already worn it. You can keep it." She was about to hand my shorts back to me when she found something. She pulled out my dad's black handgun from a pocket. "Why have you got a gun here?"

"Might need it." I grabbed my shorts back off Erika.

"You're bleeding." She pointed to my right elbow. "Wayne's not home yet. He's working late. I've got bandaids in my bedroom."

My elbow must have scraped against a rock after I fell because quite a bit of blood came out. I wasn't sure if I should enter Wayne's house again. If he caught me I'd be punished. But with a gun on me, I felt a lot more confident.

Wayne's house had always been dark. The strange smell of sweaty socks lingered permanently in the air. Erika was probably used to it by now. She led me to her room and got me to sit on her bed. I don't know why she was acting like a nurse. A little blood wasn't going to kill me.

Erika left the room for a while and came back with bandaids and a bottle filled with some green liquid.

"What's that green stuff for?" I asked.

"It's to kill the bacteria."

She held the bottle over my wound and sent about five drops down. It was so damn painful my eyes watered slightly. I remained silent though, and in a matter of seconds the pain eased. With her pillow she dried my wound. I enjoyed the feeling of having someone touching and caring for me.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" I asked.

"I learnt how to mend wounds when I was very little. I had to do it to myself all the time."

Erika showed me her left wrist where a two-inch cut had only just started to heal. She must have been cutting herself recently.

"Why do you do that?" I asked.

"Why not?"

"You might hurt yourself."

"There are different kinds of pain. Some pain makes you feel good."

"What if you kill yourself?"

"I already told you--I don't care about death."

I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent. Erika expected this silence. She stood up and turned her back towards me. She lifted her shirt up and exposed her bare back. Her back looked like a bird's eye view of outback Australia. Her flesh was the pale dirt and sand, with its smooth hills and holes. Then, because of the influence of men, long black marks (from all the whipping) ran across her flesh like the dirt roads in the country. Most of these marks were old and were made of crusty dry blood, but some of them were fresh. I could tell because these fresh wounds were bright pink and red. The pink was the flesh while the red was the blood. I put a finger on one of these whip wounds on her back and felt how sticky and warm it was. Erika flinched when my finger made contact with her.

I spoke. "Why are you showing this to me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I want someone to know."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"Do you want to help me?"

"I think so."

Erika's t-shirt came down. She turned around and faced me. Sitting down on her bed, I looked up at her face looking down at me.

"Did Wayne whip you again?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Why did Wayne do that to you?"

"Because I tried to kill his spiders."