Chapter 5: Amber

NOVEMBER 2003

That discussion with Joe did a world of good. It really meant a lot to me, more than Joe realized. And he followed up on it that Monday. He waved me over to the table at lunch where he was sitting with Moose.

We sate and ate, and just chatted. It was blissfully normal. Joe and I had reached an understanding, and we got along. Moose was still very shy, but he was loosening up some. I think that kapusta joke went a long way!

That afternoon, I had another conversation. It was after practice. It was another dismal practice. I just wasn't into it right then.

Afterwards, I was headed out of the locker room, starting on my walk home. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It was Rosa. "Can we talk?" she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I want to apologize. I really am sorry. You were right--I didn't even stop to think how you might feel."

"I have to ask, Rosa, why wouldn't you think of that?"

"Because I figured you knew you were wrong in what you did."

"Even if I agreed with that--which I don't--why would you take Jenna's side?"

"You automatically expected me to take your side?" she asked.

"No," I said. "Neutrality, that's what I expected. Look, in the locker room right after it happened, you said you thought I went too far. Fine. That didn't bother me. I disagreed with you, but I wasn't mad at you and I wasn't hurt or anything like that.

"It was all the other shit. Snubbing me in the lunchroom. Dissing me with your party. Yucking it up with Jenna and Deb at my expense in Biology.

"That is what hurt. You can disagree with me. I didn't have a problem with that. What you did after that, however, were things that a friend just doesn't do. You blatantly took her side everywhere, not just about the incident. That's what wasn't nice, or fair."

She gazed at the ground. "I know. I really am sorry," she said softly.

"Apology accepted."

"Friends again?" she asked.

"Rosa--that's going to take more time," I said sadly. She just looked at me. "I'm sorry, but, right now--I just don't trust you."

"Yeah," she said in a near-whisper.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, and walked away.

I was glad she'd apologized. It did mean something that she did that. But I wasn't lying. I didn't trust her. I wasn't happy at all about that, but that's the way it was.

A couple of days later, Jenna overplayed her hand.

It was a game against Southport, which is where Jenna was from. She had to start. Taylor was throwing up with the flu, so we had to move Kendra back to midfield. Jenna had a second chance.

We played pretty well in the first half, but were losing 1-0. At the beginning of the second half, during a stoppage in play, I noticed Jenna whispering with two players from Southport. At first, I didn't think much of it. I mean, she knew all those girls from playing with them before high school.

What was really going on only became apparent a few minutes later.

We got a forward rush going. Jordan was, as usual, covered like a blanket. Jenna was wide open. What the fuck--I passed the ball to Jenna. Miracle of miracles, she handled the pass. She had a wide open shot.

And she passed the ball back to me! Idiot. I couldn't believe it--but I thought it was just Jenna being her usual moronic self. What I didn't see, at first, were the two Southport players converging on me. And, lo and behold, it was the same two players Jenna had been whispering to.

They got to me just as the ball did--and they nailed me. I went down in a heap, howling in pain. It was a blatantly very dirty play. They had to carry me off the field on a stretcher.

Both of their players got red-carded. That didn't make a difference. With me on the way to the hospital--and my only true backup throwing up somewhere--we had no offence. Even two players down, they held on to the 1-0 lead.

While I was riding in the ambulance to the hospital, I figured it out. This had been a set-up. Jenna had gotten two of her hometown pals to take me out.

Luckily, the injuries turned out to be not that bad. A few bruised ribs and a slightly separated shoulder. It hurt like hell, but it wasn't serious damage. I was just glad that it wasn't a fucked-up knee or something like that.

Anyhow, I'd be out for a few games but I'd be OK. They gave me some pain pills and sent me home. I probably could've stayed out of school the next day--but I didn't.

I went to school with my arm in a sling and my ribs taped up. Of course, outside of that--and my shoes--I was completely naked, so the bandages and sling were in plain sight of everyone. You want to talk about sympathy? I didn't have to say a word. All I had to do was show up.

Evidently, the rumor got around that it was Jenna who was responsible for me getting flattened. I didn't say a word. I didn't even hint at it. I didn't have to.

I had people I barely knew coming up to me and asking how I was. And lunch was great. Joe basically fawned over me. Moose teased me about the possibility of a long-lost Polish ancestor. Tiff and Jordan sat with us, too, bucking me up.

It all came to a head after school. Alice had us meet up before practice. She discussed my injuries, and let the team know I'd be out for a couple of weeks. I thought I saw a little smirk on Jenna's face.

It got wiped off quickly. After Alice did her bit, Torie Dallas raised her hand to speak. "I have something to say," she started. "I saw what happened. I saw Jenna whispering with the two girls that hit Amber, minutes before it happened. Then Jenna passed the ball back to Amber, which was a foolish play. I am convinced that Jenna set Amber up to be injured."

It was perfect. Torie didn't play games or take sides. This wasn't one of my buddies saying this. Torie tried to stay impartial and above the fray. That's why she'd been elected captain when I stepped down. So, her making this accusation was far different than if it had been me--or even someone like Jordan, for that matter.

Jenna, of course, denied all. She sputtered and protested her innocence. Torie glared at her and said, "I know what I saw."

"You know what you think you saw," Jenna retorted.

"Fine. Riddle me this, then, Jenna. Why did you pass the ball back to Amber? You had a clear shot."

Jenna hesitated. "Well, I've lost confidence in my shot."

"Bullshit," Jordan interjected. "There's nothing wrong with your shot, and you know it. What you can't do worth a damn is receive a pass. Funny, you had no problem getting this particular one. You put more effort into getting that pass than you have any other all season. And with a clear shot, you sent it back to Amber. Why is that, Jenna?"

"Because I thought Amber had a better shot," she maintained--but it was weak. Very weak.

Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Alice asked, "Amber, what do you think?"

"I think my ribs hurt," I said, to chuckles all around.

Alice smiled, then said, "What I meant was, do you think Jenna set you up?"

"Not for me to say," I said. "I don't know." Conveniently keeping myself out of the fray. Alice, thankfully, didn't push it.

We went out for practice. I sat on the sidelines with Tiffany, joking about our injuries and commenting on the practice. After a bit, Alice sidled up to me. "I know you can talk in front of Tiffany. Between us three and the wind, do you think Jenna set you up?"

"Not a doubt in my mind," I told her. "I saw her talking to her friends, too."

"I can't prove anything, Amber," Alice said apologetically.

"I know that," I smiled. "I'm not worried about it. Torie's level-headed, she's the one that made the accusation. I'm taking the high road." I pointed to the field. "Look. Even some of her erstwhile buddies, or people that were neutral, are shunning her."

Alice looked, nodded, and then walked away. She knew the score. Even if she couldn't do anything about it, because she had no proof, that was OK.

The next day, I got a table at lunch with the people I had been eating with--Joe, Moose, Jordan, and Tiffany. We had just sat down and started chatting and eating, when we were invaded. Rosa, Tan, Justin, Patrick, Connor, and a few others from their crowd came over to our table.

The five of us just looked at them, as they tried to make like everything was normal. Joe and Moose were still friends with Patrick and Justin. Because of that, I didn't want to make waves. So, I just got up and made to leave.

"Where you going?" Joe asked.

"I'm going to find someplace else to eat. It just got crowded over here."

"Amber," Rosa said, "how long are you going to hold a grudge?"

"This isn't about you, Rosie. You apologized."

"Ah, Jesus, Amber, grow up," Tanya spat.

"Tan? Fuck you."

"Hey, there's no call for that," Patrick piped up.

"Fuck you, too, Patrick," I repeated. "Why are you here, anyway? Where's your little girlfriend, Jenna? I'm sure she's looking for you."

"She's not my girlfriend," Patrick asserted.

Connor tried to make peacemaker. "Look, Amber. We came here to try to make amends."

"Ah. And I needed to get smacked around for this to happen? Thank you, but no thank you." I finished getting up and found another table. Tiff and Jordan joined me.

After lunch, Joe grabbed me. "Listen, Amber, Moose and I, well, uh..."

"I know," I said with a smile. "You and Moose are still friends with Patrick and Justin. I understand that. You have been a true friend to me--and I don't make my friends choose sides."

"Thanks," he smiled. "From Moose, too."

The bruised ribs and the gimpy shoulder were, without a doubt, a pain in the ass. They hurt if I laughed, or coughed. I couldn't play soccer.

And sex was completely out of the question. Now, when I wasn't the school pariah any more and it looked like I might have a chance of getting some. Nope, not with my aching ribs. Shit, I tried masturbating and almost died. Having an orgasm is no fun if it hurts.

Plus, a week or so after the injuries, I was Riding The Red River again. So sex was completely out of the question for a large chunk of November. Damn.

I just concentrated on other things. Classes, for one. I liked them. The teachers were cool. And some of them were quite, well, nice to look at all naked and shit. Vinnie Benson, for one. Yum yum yum. And Miss Peterson, the geometry teacher--she was a babe. And Mr. Riley had told me she was bi. Hmmm...

Damn, there I go, thinking about sex again!

And don't get me started on the co-ed gym showers. Jeez, as if I wasn't horny enough without them! I know, we were all naked anyhow, but there's something about a cute guy in a shower.

The only real drawback to that was the whole period thing. Changing a pad in a locker room full of naked guys was fairly embarrassing.

But at least that was the worst embarrassment inherent in being a girl. The guys--I felt sorry for them sometimes. At least female arousal was easy to hide. In my particular case, that was a very good thing, considering how often I was wandering around school aroused! But male arousal is readily apparent. I remember working with Moose once on a cooking project. We were very close together at the workstation. I'd lean over get something and brush up against him, and vice-versa. Well, it didn't take much of that before he was at full mast, so to speak. Of course, I had to say, "Happy to see me, Moose?" He blushed purple!

Another thing that happened in November is the outside world started to notice us. Part of that was because of Tiffany's mother.

She and her lawyer were obviously going to use "Tiffany's lack of morals" in her defense at her child abuse trial. Now, most people didn't think that a teenager having sex was worse than a mother throwing her daughter down a flight of stairs--but some did. Most of the moralists had been beaten back into the bushes in recent years, but not all. And some of them had picked up on Tiffany's mother as a cause celebre. Of course, the fact that Tiffany's dad had enrolled her in Naked High made things worse from their point of view.

This was one of the things the moralizers liked to latch on to--because they didn't have much else left.

I was only 14, of course, but my parents had explained a lot of recent history to me. The moralizers had seemed to be making some headway in the 80's--the Just Say No decade. It was a backlash against the 60's, the pill, the legalization of abortion. And the discovery of AIDS had seemed to galvanize them. They used AIDS as an excuse for all that abstinence bullshit. Plus, the rise of the Right To Life movement really happened then.

As the 80s turned into the 90s, it seemed like the moralizers were going to win. Then, two things happened. AIDS was miraculously cured. And, in researching AIDS, the scientists were able to come up with cures for every other STD, too. I was born in 1989--by the time I entered kindergarten, STDs were pretty much a thing of the past.

The reason for this was a difference in emphasis from liberal groups like Planned Parenthood and the like. They saw the Just Say No years, the rise of the religious right, and the Right to Life movement as a threat. They tried to fight it head-on for a while, and then got smart. They started funding scientific research. They let the wingnuts launch the rhetoric, and quietly spent their money on research.

They weren't necessarily responsible for the elimination of AIDS and other STDs--lots of folks were working on that. They were largely responsible for the corollary--the vast improvement in birth control. The newer pills had far fewer side effects. There was a morning-after pill. And then there was the shot--zero side effects, effective immediately, worked as a morning-after, and it lasted three months.

There was a fairly liberal administration in at the time, which means all this stuff got fast-tracked at the FDA. Then the lobby groups pushed education. With no STDs to worry about, preventing pregnancy was the sole focus.

What happened was, in areas where Planned Parenthood was able to go into schools and get the word out, abortions went down to almost zero. The teen pregnancy rate went down to almost zero. The shot proved very popular, everywhere teenagers got wind of it. And that took the wind right out of the sails of the Right to Life movement.

The moderates, those that had no problems with sex or birth control, bled off, satisfied. They were getting what they wanted--less abortions. With no risk of STDs and easy ways to prevent unwanted pregnancy, they got what they wanted. And they supported the Planned Parenthood groups in getting the new birth control widely available, including in schools.

That exposed the wingnut heart of the Right to Life crowd to be what they were. They weren't anti-abortion, they were anti-sex. With no other ammunition, they started braying about the 'emotional' consequences of early sex, while beating the Bible for all it was worth. Of course, liberal groups had an answer to the first--more education. Detailed sex education. This is why stuff like The Program came into being. As for the religious aspect--well, a lot of the more mainline denominations just stopped talking about sex altogether, recognizing a lot of the growing new attitudes. The right-wing still did--but they were losing influence. They had beaten on abortion for so long, and it was recognized by a lot of people that it was the permissive liberals that had actually won that one. That reduced a lot of the oomph of the Religious Right.

The right-wing was still there, of course. There were still right-wing religious groups braying about premarital sex. And there were fits and starts, of course, with a lot of the new ideas. Those fits and starts were always seized on by the righties.

But mostly they were marginalized. The political arguments on most levels had turned to be almost completely about economics.

So, the right wing made hay where it could, with something like Tiffany's mother. Of course, my sympathies and concerns were completely with Tiff. I was worried about her. Her mother threw her down a fucking flight of stairs! Nothing justifies that.

However, one of the things that happened with Tiffany's mother is that the wingnuts noticed Naked High. We were only the third nudist high school in the country. And with Tiff going here, that only increased the focus.

And what happened was that suddenly I became a focal point. Some of the wingnuts had started to picket the school. Apparently, one of them spotted me, with my sling and bandages. One or more of them started a rumor that some guy had done that to me in an attempted rape or something.

This got back to me. I laughed it off, but it became a big thing with the wingnuts, about how I needed to be 'saved' from all this 'immorality'.

The media was covering the protests. When this rumor got back to them, one of the stations requested an interview with me. I gladly agreed, wanting to set the record straight.

In full view of the protesters, I appeared--stark naked except for the bandages--and did the interview. I told the reporter the truth: "I play soccer. That's where this happened. I got sandwiched. It was a dirty play for sure--both of the other players got red-carded--but that sometimes happens out there."

"So, you weren't raped?" the reporter asked.

"No, I was not raped. Can't rape the willing," I laughed. "There's only a few guys in this school I'd turn down, and I can kick all their asses, so how could I get raped here?"

The reporter had trouble holding in the laughter. And that diffused the crisis. Most of my fellow students had gotten tired of the taunts from the protestors, so, with my example in front of them, they let it all hang out. Tan and Connor picked a nice day--we have a few of those around here even in November--sat right in front of the protestors, and did some fairly heavy-duty nekkid-kissin'-and-gropin'. Disgusted by antics like that, the protestors started to disperse.

November was getting on. Soon, it'd be December. And me still a virgin. Not quite what I signed up for.

Well, at least I'd have a shoulder to cry on. Lily came home for Thanksgiving. She landed on Wednesday, November 26th. After dinner, Mike went home and Lil and I stayed up all night talking. I told her how the first three months at Naked High had gone. She hugged me and told me everything would be all right.

I really do love my sister.

The next day was Thanksgiving. Ever since Lily and Mike started dating, Mike comes over here for Thanksgiving--as do his mom Ellie, and her partner Marina. They have no other family around here, and neither do we. So, since everyone knew Mike and Lily were going to get married some day, they became family. It was cool--I loved Ellie and Marina. Ellie helped me through a lot of shit about my sexuality back in the summer between sixth and seventh grade.

This year, they had an announcement. "Since the state of North Carolina has finally legalized gay marriage," Ellie started, "I'm thrilled to tell you all that Marina and I are getting married this summer. You are all invited, of course."

That was great news!

There was more. "I want a baby," Marina told us all. "And I'm 37, so time is getting on. So, after the wedding, I plan on getting pregnant."

"Sperm donor?" my Dad asked.

"Yes. But one in particular," Marina said. "I want this baby to be ours--Ellie's and mine. Of course, Ellie can't donate sperm." We all laughed at that. "And I felt bad that the baby wouldn't really have any connection with Ellie. It'd be me and an anonymous sperm donor."

"Then, last night, someone came up with a wonderful idea," Ellie said.

"That'd be me," Mike put in. "My DNA's half from mom, right? If you can't get all of Mom's genetics, we can get half. So I'm donating the sperm."

Everybody looked at him for a minute. I was the first to speak. "That is so cool!" It really was.

"It really is," Dad said, "but this doesn't bother anyone?"

"Nah. If it were actual sex it might bother me, but it's going to be clinical," Ellie said.

"I don't have sex with men, not even Mikey," Marina laughed.

"And I get to help him produce the donation," Lily said impishly, getting laughter from everyone and a swat on the arm from Mom.

"It's not going to be my kid," Mike said. "It's going to be Mom and Marina's kid. When it gets older we might tell it, but it's going to be raised as my sibling. When I want my own kids, Lily and I will make 'em the old fashioned way."

"That works," Mom said.

All that just confirmed what I already knew--Mike was a generous guy. Actually, Mike and my sister, because Lily would've had to sign off on this. It was a wonderful thing they were going to do for Marina and Ellie.

Of course, the dimensions of Lily and Mike's generosity went beyond even my conception. I found that out on the next day, Friday the 28th.

I went out that morning to run some errands. When I got back, I found the house empty, except for Mike.

"Hey, Mikey, where is everyone?"

"You're Dad's in work. Your Mom and Lily got lost for the day, shopping."