Chapter 18

"I SAID, I'M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE; SHE SAID DROP DEAD THEN LEFT WITH ANOTHER GUY"

JUNE 13th, 1982

Graduation Day.

We'd played Win Craymore's bash the day before. It was a blast, as always. We were still riding he wave of awesomeness we'd found at the prom. We blew through five sets--one more than we usually played--and everyone was dancing and having a good time. As a little nod to Deb, I asked the gang if they knew "Do You Believe In Magic?" They did, so we threw it into the second set. Deb couldn't stop grinning while she was banging away at her guitar.

So, all that was left to our high school careers was this, Graduation Day.

It started at 11:00 AM. We all filed in to the football stadium--luckily, the weather held. The graduating class was about 450 people, and with all the family and friends, if they'd had to go inside the number of people allowed would've been severely curtailed. That's why they used the football stadium, weather permitting; and they'd gotten a tent, so the weather would have to be really horrendous for it not to be outside. This year there were no such worries--it was warm and sunny.

I sat up front since I was one of the speakers. Which wasn't my choice, believe me--I'd prefer to sit with my pals. Luckily, I got to sit with one--the award-winners also sat up front, and Michelle was receiving the class award for social studies. So, we sat next to each other, making each other laugh with our usual pithy comments.

The vice principal did a few introductory comments, then they handed out the awards (I also got one myself, for biology.) Then it was time for the speakers. The valedictorian would go last. Me, the salutatorian? I got to go first. Joy. Believe me, public speaking was not my forte. Right before I went up, I turned to Michelle and said, "I wonder if there's any way I can sing this speech." She cracked up.

Unfortunately, no, I wasn't going to get away with singing this speech. I just reminded myself that, however much I disliked public speaking, this was going to be infinitely easier than the last time I'd had to do it. Plus, I just realized that the whole school knew The Narcoleptics--so I'd just given myself a good opening line.

I got up there and used it. "I hate public speaking," I said without preamble. "If I'm up on stage I want a guitar strapped on. Any way I can sing this?" I said, waving my speech. It worked--big laughs. That's one for Ed.

I had a few more. I knew I was going to need them, because the speech was going to be very un-funny in spots. I started out with the funnies. "OK, since I can't sing it, here goes. Good morning, classmates, faculty members, friends and family, honored guests, and anyone I've forgotten. I'm Ed Bovilas, and I'm your salutatorian. You may ask, how does one get to be salutatorian? They ask you to spell it. If you can, you're it." That one went over better than I thought it would!

"A lot of people are probably surprised to see me up here. Those are the people that've never been in class with me, but know who The Narcoleptics are." Big cheer. That surprised me! "Uh-huh. You guys just remember all that love when we release the first album," I ad-libbed, to good effect. "Anyhow, there are some people that are surprised to see Mister Rock and Roll up here ranked second in the class. Of course, there are far, far more of you that were shocked when you saw Ed The Geek up on stage with a guitar." After the chuckles, I inserted, "Of couse, not nearly as many who were surprised to see Michelle Pepper up there!" Another good round of laughs, and a nice blush from Michelle!

"Anyhow, I've lived an interesting high school existence, because it's been rather schizophrenic. Good student geek by day, rock and roller by night, that sort of thing. But, you know what? It's been great, in ways I didn't anticipate.

"Some of you have known me since elementary school, or junior high. Those who have may remember that up until seventh grade, all I was was just a good student geek. And I was picked on a lot. Even after I took steps to decrease being picked on, I was still geeky and somewhat isolated, and I'm always going to be a good student. As I said, it's isolating. And it also made me somewhat wary.

"Some of what happened with The Narcoleptics changed a lot of that. Look, I have to tell you--we did this as a lark. We all liked playing, and we knew there was some talent there, but we didn't expect it to become what it has. We're happy as clams about it, believe me--but I think it took us all by surprise. I can see at least a couple of my bandmates nodding in agreement, so it wasn't just me," I chuckled.

"I think, because it took off fairly quickly, some of you were surprised. I think you suddenly saw a side of me, or Michelle, or Debbie Gomelski, or any of us, that you hadn't known existed. The cool thing is, that worked both ways. Because of the Narcoleptics, I was approached by people I might have otherwise been wary of in my isolation.

"I've learned a lot, about myself and about other people. I'm less wary, less isolated, and a hell of a lot better adjusted. That's almost the perfect high school existence, all things considered.

"Now. we're all headed to college. It's going to be a new thing for all of us, but I feel pretty prepared for it. And a lot of that is because of my experiences here at Cabot High. They've prepared me very well for the road ahead.

"So, I thank you all for cheering us on, for seeking us out, for inviting us to play your parties and dances and whatnot. It's been wonderful. I'll never, ever forget the prom. That night was something special." Got more cheers for that one.

I took a deep breath, because things were about to get tougher. "In return, for those thanks, I'd like you to do something for me. I'd like you all to think about friendship.

"I have a lot of them--more than I ever thought I would. At different levels, sure. The seven of us in the band are tight as can be, and I have a couple more extremely close friends. Past that, there's people I'm not as close to. But I've made a lot of friends at all different levels. I cherish all of them. I can see most of you out in the crowd tonight.

Another breath. "However, if I'm talking about friends, and if I'm acknowledging all my friends that are filling up all the seats out there in front of me; well, I also have to talk about the empty seat.

"I have to talk about the friend that isn't here. I can't let this day go by without mentioning that, in a just world, my best friend, Beth Trovini, would be out there. She'd be sitting out there, waiting to get her diploma, making silly faces at me as I tried to get through this speech. And she should be here. But she's not.

"So, I'm going to ask you to think about friendship. We're all going different places in September. We're going to have friends that we might not see as much, might not have the connection we once did. That's understandable. It's natural. But it's also avoidable.

"If I can give all of you any advice as we go forward into this big world, it's just that: cherish your friends. Cherish them with all your might.

"Part of the fun of graduating with friends is watching them. I was grinning like an idiot when Michelle got her social studies award. I'll be grinning like an idiot when my other friends get their diplomas. When all those names are called--Stan Murvetsin, Debbie Gomelski, Danica Rosen, all my friends--I'm going to enjoy it thoroughly. I'm glad I get to share this day with my friends, hear their names called, watch them get up here.

"But there's one name I won't hear, so I'll say it now: Elizabeth Marie Trovini.

"Thank you."

I got off the stage to a fine ovation. Of course, I knew part of that is because I kept the speech relatively brief! But I also saw a few moist eyes from those who'd known Beth. And Michelle gave my arm a squeeze when I got back to my seat.

After I did my bit, it got boring, of course. The only speech I was interested in was my own! And having 450 people traipse up there to get diplomas took a while. Some of that was fun, though. Stan played air guitar as he was walking across the stage!

After all the speeches, the day was finally over. A few of us, the band and a few friends, were headed over to Debbie's for a small cookout-type thing. As I was headed out of the stadium, however, I got waylaid.

By Olivia.

"Hey," she said. "I'd like to talk. Is that possible?"

I'll tell the truth--part of me wanted to say no. A big part of me wanted to say no. I was still upset at her, quite a bit. I felt wronged by the whole thing. I almost told her to fuck off.

But I didn't. I couldn't. For one thing, I wasn't going to deny the feelings were still there. For another thing--I was just going on and on about friendship, wasn't I? And referencing Beth while I was at it? If I blithely blew off someone who'd meant so much to me over the past two years, what did that say about the lovely speech I'd just made? Not a lot.

So, I didn't turn her down. "Sure," I said. "But not now."

"That's fine. You free tomorrow?"

I told her I was, and we made plans to meet.

I wondered what she wanted.

JUNE 14th, 1982

I picked her up at her house, and it didn't take her long to answer that very question.

"Eddie?" she said. "I think we've made a mistake."

"What mistake is that?"

"Breaking up."

Well, Debbie called it, didn't she? "You think it was a mistake?"

"Yeah," she said. "Look, about the prom--I was very, very wrong. I regret pushing that, and I'm sorry. You belonged up there playing, and I'm sorry I didn't really understand or appreciate that."

"OK," I said, "but that still doesn't take care of the big problem: Michigan."

"I know," she said. "Look, I'm not going to apologize for that. I think it's the best thing. Going there for college, I mean--I shouldn't have gone out in April which was my other big mistake. But going there in September? I do think it's best for me right now. However, is there any way we can work around it?"

"I'm sorry, Livvie, I still have the same fears."

"That I wouldn't be able to stick to it?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be honest, I have the same fears about you--but I'm willing to give it a try."

"Hey, if I tried it, I would be able to keep it in my pants."

"Probably, though I wouldn't ask you to," she said with a little grin. "I'd be more worried you'd fall in love with someone else, you being a complete romantic and all. Sexual fidelity I don't care much about. I'd ask you to make an emotional committment, not a physical one."

"Excuse me?" I said, confused.

"I want to get back together with you, and try a long-distance relationship."

"That much I got," I laughed.

"Right. To me, 'relationship' implies an emotional one. I'd ask you not to become emotionally involved with anyone else. You can have sex with anyone you want, I don't care about that. When I'm home, of course, I'd expect sexual fidelity as well--but while I'm away? Pick up a groupie after a gig. What do I care?"

I had to shake my head, to clear out the mind-boggles. "What on earth brought this on?"

"Well," she started, "part of it was the prom. That's when I realized how unfair I'd been. I also realized that you were who I should've been there with, even if we weren't dancing. My date was a complete dud," she said with a roll of her eyes. "And by the time the night ended, any slight attraction I may have had for him was completely gone. I went home alone right after the prom, which is never fun," she said with a little grin. "Which reminds me--did you sleep with Debbie prom night?"

SHIT! I almost crashed into a telephone pole. "WHAT?" I managed to blurt out.

"Well, I knew you and Deb were sharing a room after the prom. I was just wondering if you decided to go for it. I can see from your reaction that you did," she said with a little grin. I tried to say something--I had no idea what, frankly--when she interrupted me. "Hey, we had broken up. I can't blame you or say anything about it. Don't you think I knew that Debbie had the hots for you? I also figured it was returned somewhat. So, I'm not surprised."

I could just shake my head. "Anyway," she continued, "the prom was part of it, and realizing there that I'd pretty much fucked up. I think I realized then that I was going to try to at least talk to you. But what really clinched it was your speech. That got to me."

"Yeah." I agreed. "I can see where it would."

"You were right--cherish your friends. You're the best friend I have, and possibly the best friend I've ever had. At least the second-best."

"I understand," I grinned.

"Yeah. But you're right. I haven't cherished you, or us, not the way I should have." She sighed. "I know me going to Michigan is going to be rough. Maybe it won't work. But I don't think we'd be honoring what we have together or how we feel about one another if we didn't even try."

"I don't know," I said. "Things have been pretty rough, and the whole Michigan thing still bothers me."

"Think of it this way," she said. "What have we got to lose? You're not dating anyone else, are you? I'm assuming you and Debbie decided to remain just friends even after having sex."

"Uh, yeah, we did," I said hesitantly. "And, no, I'm not dating anyone else."

"OK, so we're both free. All I'm suggesting is that we give it a try. Look, Eddie, I still love you, you know that. And I'm betting you still love me. What have we got to lose?"

"My heart? My sanity?"

"You already lost the latter," she laughed. "As for the former, good point. All I can do is promise to try not to dent your heart too much."

I took a breath. "Look, Livvie. I have to be blunt. You've already done that--dent my heart. Why should I give you a second chance?"

She jerked in surprise, but then sighed. "I suppose I deserved that."

"I'm not trying to hurt you. But you hurt me, and badly. I'm also, I'll admit, angry. But I'm just trying to be blunt. Why should I do this?"

"Because we both still love one another?" She paused. "Don't we?"

"Yes, we do," I admitted, "but is that enough?"

"I guess only you can answer that." She gave me a wry little grin. "It was enough for me to swallow my pride and admit I made a mistake."

"OK, true," I conceded with a grin. "Let me think about this, OK?"

"OK."

JUNE 26th, 1982

I gave in. Was there really ever any doubt? Debbie's right--I'm a sap.

But, you know, despite my hurt and anger, I really did love her. And she seemed to be hell-bent on making amends.

So, I gave it the summer--and we'll see what happens then.

However, I had other things to occupy me over the summer--number one being the band.

We were serious about attempting to play the clubs in Boston once we got to school. And that meant playing original music. Now, I'd written songs for years--including the first life. Some of them I even remembered, to some point, and I could easily 'write' them again in this life. Since my writing style was rooted in stuff that was already around in 1982 or was older, I wouldn't be violating anything by 'writing' a song in 1982 that I originally wrote in 1993. It all sounded like The Beatles anyway!

But I wasn't the only songwriter in the band. When we'd first discussed the idea of doing this, Michelle revealed that she also wrote songs.

It was just the two of us, though. I was a little surprised that Debbie didn't. "I've never tried," she confessed. Stan told us that he would write all the lead guitar lines for our songs that we wanted him to, but he wasn't going to mess with anything else. "Like lyrics. I will gladly keep the lyrics to you two guys. Yeesh!"

So, this was the day we'd picked to start working on our own original songs.

One thing quickly became apparent--while I had arrangement ideas, Michelle did not. She presented us with songs that were very bare-bones. All the lyrics were there, plus the melody and basic chords, but that was it. Some of that had to do with how she wrote. Remember, Michelle was the bass player--and you don't write songs on bass. She played enough guitar and piano to write songs on them--but just barely. So, when she presented us with a song--like I said, we'd get a fully realized melody and a lyric, but, behind that, only rudimentary guitar or piano chords.

Which was fine with not only me, but also Stan--he might not have any interest in writing, but he was a natural arranger. As for me--I'd be dictating Michelle's bass lines on my songs--to the note! That's how much of an arranger I was. Though that wasn't exactly true--especially with Michelle, since she was creative and a fantastic bass player--I did tend to come up with lines for all the instruments when I wrote. I'm sure I could come up with lines for all the instruments for Michelle's songs!

Anyhow, both Michelle and I traipsed into band practice on this day, a Saturday, with a clutch of songs all ready.

Michelle went first. And blew us right out of the water.

It was called "My Body". And it wasn't written by the pristine straight-A student preppie Michelle. Nope, this was written by Michelle the Sexbomb.

It started like this:

Oooh, I've come undone
Oooh, I'm sixteen years old
Oooh, I wanna have my fun'
Oooh, and not just do what I'm told

Don't tell me what my Daddy says
He doesn't get to choose for me
Don't tell me what your preacher says
Those rules are antiquated and arbitrary

I'm young, I'm free and I'm ready for you
Let me tell you what I want us to do
This waiting for forever is a game for fools
And don't tell me I'm too young my body knows it ain't true
Don't tell me I'm too young my body knows it ain't true

Oooh, I feel it deep inside
Oooh, it's a purple wave
Oooh, no time to run and hide
Oooh, cause I'm feeling brave

Don't tell me you don't want me
I feel it every time we kiss
Don't tell me you don't need me
You've been hoping all along that I wanted this

I'm young, I'm free and I'm ready for you
Let me tell you what I want us to do
This waiting for forever is a game for fools
And don't tell me I'm too young my body knows it ain't true
Don't tell me I'm too young my body knows it ain't true

And went on from there.

I think we were all stunned.

"And there goes that pristine image, shattered in a million pieces," Debbie laughed. Michelle just gave her a Cheshire Cat grin.

"You sure you didn't write that, Deb?" I teased.

"Nope, that was all Michelle," she said. "I mean, come on--who else besides Michelle would use the words antiquated and arbitrary in a song about sex?"

"Hey, I love it," Stan said.

"You would," I retorted, "but I do too. However, what's with this 'It's a purple wave' stuff?"

"Well, purple is the color of lust, after all," Michelle said.

"It is?" I laughed.

"She's only saying that because Stan is wearing a purple shirt," Karen laughed.

"Who do you think bought him the shirt?" Michelle riposted.

We all laughed--and then, out of clear blue sky, Stan started playing.

As I'd said, Michelle presented us that song with just her strumming on an acoustic guitar. The song itself was all there--including how fast it was, which was very--but bare-bones. But it triggered something in Stan, because he came up with this really twangy Duane Eddy guitar thing. I answered him with a little stutter on my guitar. And, just like that, we had an intro. And that became the basis to the arrangement, because Stan answered all of Michelle's vocal phrases in the verse with that same twangy bit. Debbie took over the acoustic part, strumming furiously--like I said, it was a fast song.

Twenty minutes later, we ran through the thing, from beginning to end.

After we finished, Michelle looked at me, grinned, and said, "Your turn."

"Fine, I have a song about sex, too."

Which I did. It was called "Keep A Light On." Though it was a wee bit more subtle than hers! The lyrics were a bit inane in spots--lyrics aren't my strong suit--but the chorus made plain the meaning of the song:

Midnight prowler knocking on your door
Keep a light on for me
You know my face and you've seen me before
Keep a light on for me

And, unlike Michelle, I had the whole arrangement worked out. I'm a riff-monger, so I had the whole riff worked out for Stan to play--in fact, for this song, the riff was the whole song! I also had this cheesy roller-rink "Ramrod" organ part worked out for Karen to play. I let Stan work out the guitar solo, though.

We worked that sucker out in no time at all. Afterwards, Stan laughed and said, "So, we're gonna be the sex song band, are we?"

"Not hardly," Michelle smirked, and promptly moved over to the piano and picked out a lovely mid-tempo ballad called "From My Head To My Toes." It was clearly a love song, not a lust song. Which brought up an interesting point, which Karen articulated with a huge grin: "So, if we practice that song enough, will we get Stan to stop blushing?"

"I do not blush!" Stan maintained.

"Uh-huh," Debbie teased. "Must've been a momentary sunburn."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Stan snorted. "Let's see if we can arrange Michelle's little ditty, shall we?"

"Cool, he'll blush all the way through the guitar part," Debbie quipped. Stan just shot her a look.

It took some work to arrange it. Michelle had the melody--which was lovely--and the words. The chorus, which was gorgeous, went like this:

From my head
To my toes
Well, the feeling comes, and it grows and grows
After so long together
We know how the story goes
It goes, I love you
From my head to my toes

Michelle had that, plus the rest of the words and the basic chords and melody. But she wrote it on piano, which she doesn't play particularly well, and that's all she had. It was mid-tempo, so she didn't want it to be particularly quiet--it was piano-based, but it was supposed to be a full band piece.

The first thing we did was have Kenny work up a proper piano part. Which he quickly did, working from Michelle's chord sketch. He even added an intro, based off of a bit of a phrase Michelle was playing at the end of the chorus. What was funny was the first measure--two chords--of the intro was a complete pinch from the same first measure of Bob Seger's "Still The Same"--that da--dum-dum that opens the song. Same thing. After that it spun off into an arpeggio that had nothing to do with the Seger song, but that first measure was going to get people guessing!

Debbie picked up an acoustic, at Stan's direction, and strummed along. Then Stan and I got the electrics out. Dave figured out a good drum part, and Karen played some synth. It didn't take more than a half hour.

"You know what? We're damn good," Stan asserted. "This is gonna fly. And that song is a hit, I swear it."

"At least he stopped blushing," Debbie said, keeping it up.

"Yeah, yeah. Any more hits?" Stan said.

"I got one," I replied.

It was called "I Saw You Dancing." It was another riff-o-rama--I did have a tendency to write riffs. It was a nice meaty guitar riff with a clanking cowbell moving everything along. The first verse went like this:

There you were moving cross the gym
I saw you dancing
You had your arms and your lips wrapped around him
I saw you dancing
Well I remember the day when you used to be mine
I saw you dancing
Now I'm just the guy on stage keeping time
I saw you dancing
I watched you move across the floor so slow
Made me remember the day before
When I watched you go
I saw you dancing
I saw you dancing

"Hm," Debbie said when we were done. "Write that after watching Olivia dance with that loser at prom?"

"Actually, no," I laughed. "That one's a couple years old."

"Who'd you write it about?" Michelle asked.

"Nobody in particular," I said.

"Whatever," Stan said. "Whoever it was written about, that's a hit too."

"Look, we've got our own Casey Kasem in the band!" Michelle teased.

"Well, hey," Stan said. "These are good songs. You two can really write."

"Damn straight," Debbie agreed. "Any more?"

We did. Michelle had this lovely thing called "Hold Me Down." She also had a cool little rocker called "Sure Enough," which had a neat guitar part that drove the rhythm, plus great harmonies for Debbie and me to sing on the chorus. She had another rocker called "Accidents Can Happen Here."

I had a mid-tempo thing with a nice sustaining riff called "No Place To Hide." There was an acoustic ballad with a complicated and great-sounding guitar part called "My Blue Highway."

And then there was "Summer's Gone". One of the goofiest things I ever wrote--lyrically and musically. It had this mock-swing beat with droning organ chords and a honking guitar thing. And the lyrics--which were about how much I hate hot weather--were just silly. It made the whole band crack up. But they all also loved it. We worked it up in a hurry.

"That's a nice days work, isn't it?" Stan said, satisfied. We all were.

JUNE 30th, 1982

Michelle, Stan and Debbie proposed we go out to lunch. I accepted. Little did I know that the three of them had an agenda.

We went to the Golden Arches. The minute we got our food and settled in at a table, they started in on me.

"So," Michelle began, "Eddie, tell us: have you gone completely nuts, or what?"

"Excuse me?"

"Olivia," Stan said. "You're actually going to go out with her again?"

"You really are a complete sap," Debbie added.

"Jeez, guys, I thought I was going to lunch, not an ambush," I said, bemused.

"Hey, you're our friend. We worry about you," Michelle said.

"I know. But it's fine, really."

"Well, maybe you could try to explain to us exactly why you decided to go back out with her," Stan said, reasonably enough. "Because we don't understand it."

"You guys know I still love her."

"God only knows why," Debbie snorted.

"Well, I do. And, hey, at least I'm not gonna spend the summer alone."

Michelle blinked. "You don't think this is going to last much past that, do you?"

"Actually, I plan to play it by ear. She says she plans to be faithful--well, emotionally faithful."

"Uhm, what does that mean?" Debbie asked.

I grinned. "It means, after we get to school, she doesn't care who I fuck, as long as I don't fall in love with anyone else."

"Well, that's handy," Debbie chuckled. "Though I don't know how interested you'll be in that."

"More than you'd guess," I laughed. "Heck, I'll admit it--one of the reasons for staying with Livvie is so I don't have to go the whole summer without pussy."

"You wouldn't have to in any case, and you know it," Debbie smirked, "so that isn't the reason."

"OK, good point," I agreed with a grin.

"We just don't want to see you getting hurt. Again," Michelle interjected.

"Well, you can't really prevent that," I said cheerfully. "It's happened before and it'll probably happen again. You guys will just have to pick up the pieces," I teased.

"Well, that's what we're trying to prevent, you big galoot," Stan laughed. "That's all we need is you gettin' all emotional."

"Ah, that'd be fine," Debbie countered, "as he'd probably get some great songs out of it!"

"Nah, I plan to write all my songs about you, Deb," I teased.

That immediately set Stan off. "Da-na-na-na-na, my baby's got tits! Da-na-na-na-na, big big big tits!"

We all cracked up. "You writing that about her or me?" Michelle asked him.

"Four for the price of two?"

"Nice try, but I don't share," Michelle said.

"I do believe I knew that," Stan smirked.

"Good. Now back to the topic at hand," Michelle said, turning back to me.

"Damn. I liked that topic better."

"Of course you did. The topic was tits, and you're a guy," Debbie giggled.

"Exactly."

"Anyhow," Michelle said firmly, "Eddie, are you sure?"

"Well, who's ever sure? I think it's the right thing, at least for now. When she's in Michigan? We'll see."

"Well, it's your life," Debbie said.

"His life, but our band," Michelle mock-grumbled.

"Don't worry, I won't let the band down. I'll either be writing happy songs or sad songs, so who cares?"

AUGUST 27th, 1982

The rest of the summer went fine. Olivia and I seemingly recovered everything that was good about our relationship. The love, the sex, the easy way we had with each other--all of it. It was like we'd never had a problem.

She left Wednesday the 25th. She actually had to check into the dorm that Friday, which was today, the 27th. I wouldn't be checking into my dorm until Sunday the 29th. I was glad it was shortly afterwards, though. Because, by the time she left, I really didn't want her to go. It almost would've been easier to have broken up at the beginning of the summer.