Chapter 32

It must have been fifteen minutes later when a woman about my mother's age came over and put her hand on my shoulder. When I looked up with tear-filled eyes she just smiled a bit and said, "Is there anything I can do, young man?"

I used my handkerchief on my eyes and then blew my nose. "Thanks. I don't really think so. A family member is very sick and I just want to get home."

In later years, people were not usually kind like this in large urban centres but this woman sat beside me and said, "My name is Abigail Southam. You can call me Abby. Where are you going?"

"Buffalo, then North Bay."

"I am going to Buffalo, too. I don't remember hearing of a town nearby with the other name."

"It is in Ontario. I didn't want to wait for a direct flight."

"Oh, that place. It has been in the news a lot recently, hasn't it?"

"Yes, I guess it has." She was trying to cheer me up but I couldn't think right, to speak as I should.

"I hear that town is small. Did you ever meet that young man who is so..." She took a closer look at me, then reached out her hand and turned my head. "You... you are that man, ah... boy."

"Guilty, I am afraid. Please don't make a scene. I don't want people to see me this way."

She just stared at me but soon she said, "I won't tell anybody."

A pretty girl came over and stayed a few feet away. When Abby turned the girl said, "Are you coming back soon, Mom? Jeff is crying again."

"I will be there in a moment." The girl turned and walked back to where she came from. Abby said, "I have to go... Alex. My boy is a little sick."

I thought of Natalie and on impulse I said, "Take me to him."

She looked oddly but I was very used to that. I got up and carried my only piece of luggage. It was small enough that I could use it as a carry on. We walked about a hundred feet and I saw the luggage piled by the girl and a young boy about eighteen months old.

I put my luggage down and walked in front of the child. "What is wrong with him?"

"He hasn't been eating for a day or so. He has diarrhea."

"Has he been taking fluids?"

"He takes some milk and juice but not as much as usual."

"May I have a look myself?"

"Go ahead. Maybe you can help."

I knelt down and said, "Hi Jeff. My name is Alex. Your Mom and sister think you are sick." The boy just shook his head. I felt his forehead as I had no thermometer. He was running a temperature. His pupils contracted properly when I picked up his eyelids.

"Jeff, can you growl like a lion?"

He just shook his head and didn't try. I put my hands up and felt the glands on his throat. They were quite firm. I looked at his mother and said, "Has he been talking less?"

"Come to think of it he has. He doesn't speak much anyway but he does hum."

I stuck my tongue out at Jeff with my own mouth wide. He couldn't help it and mimicked me. It was still too dark.

"You don't by chance have a flashlight, do you?"

The woman quickly opened her large purse and gave me a cheap flashlight. She said by way of explanation, "It comes in handy sometimes."

I opened my own mouth again and shined the light in. Jeff opened his mouth and I pointed the flashlight in his throat. I saw that the tonsils were infected. The flashlight was moved around a bit and then I handed it to the child.

I turned my head and said, "He is young but he has inflamed tonsils. He needs some antibiotics and he should be ok in a few days. Do you have a doctor in Buffalo?"

"Yes, we do. Ah, thanks, Alex. Is there anything we can do till then?"

"If Jeff were older, he could gargle with salt water but he is too young. You might get him to drink some soda."

The girl asked, "Are you a doctor? You look very young."

I said, "No," but at the same time her mother gave the opposite answer.

"I don't have a licence. I just dabble in a few things here and there but nothing much."

The mother blurted out, "But you made the polio vaccine."

"That was a communal effort, as it said. Too much gets credited to me when it shouldn't."

I reached in my pocket and gave the girl a handful of change. "Go find your brother some soda and buy some more for you and your mother." The girl just looked at me, then at the coins and left.

"She was probably bored from having to sit all the time with her brother. Do you want a break too?"

"No, that's ok."

In ten minutes the girl came back with some soda and even handed me one. It was in paper cups and not even cans. When Abby finished her drink she said, "I will be back in a minute."

The mother went to the washroom and the girl said, "Are you that guy who is in the papers all the time?"

"Once in a while, I guess. Trouble has a way of finding me."

"You fixed that dog and then you made that vaccine. It was in all the papers. It was on the radio too. I saw you on television outside a large building with lots of grass."

"That was where we made the vaccine in Chicago. A lot of very talented people worked on it."

"Were you making more vaccine here? I think we need it. My friend's sister got polio and died."

"The vaccine has to get tested before it can be made for distribution. The tests cost a lot of money and takes a year or more, sometimes, unless they think it is an emergency."

The family flew with me to Buffalo. The girl, Sally, had slipped me her name, address and phone number on a slip of paper. When I had a moment, I told Sally, "I have a girl who will be my wife someday. You can still be my friend, though."

She must have been counting on something else, so I took a sheet of paper and wrote a small note to her, then signed my name and dated it. She at least could tell her friends that she met me.

A taxi took me back to Ontario. They were a bit hesitant about a boy but my name seemed to help. When the taxi turned back, I called another. An hour and a half later I was at the Toronto airport looking for a private plane I could charter.

In an hour I was winging it north. I said little to the pilot and he said less to me, which suited me fine. Even before we touched down, I asked the pilot to ask the tower to get me a taxi.

After landing I paid my bill with very little talk except my thanks. A taxi rushed me to the hospital at four o'clock in the morning.

I rushed in the front door and found nobody at reception. Emergency looked at me and decided to help. In moments I was racing through the quiet corridors of the building to my goal. Turning a corner I found doctor Smiles and Janice leaning against the wall.

They turned their eyes to me and slowly stood without support. The time taken showed that they were very tired.

When I got close, I put my suitcase down and the doctor said, "We have done all we can do. She is in God's hands now, Alex."

"What is wrong?" He told me everything he knew about the case. Then he went into what he and Janice had done to help. I had tears in my eyes for now I knew for sure. I held them both for a moment and whispered my thanks then pushed the door to the room open.

Laura was sitting in a chair on one side of the bed and Helen on the other side. Valerie and Linda sat close together and next to Helen. Rita and Aron were cuddled up together on another bed and sound asleep. Mom was on the other side of this bed.

When I walked in, Laura saw me and with a tear-streaked face ran unsteadily to me. "Alex," was the only thing she said as she hugged me to her and started to cry again. My own eyes watered even more. I felt other hands touching me and heard more sniffles.

Here I was, a doctor, at least in a previous life. A person who had made many drugs to help people and I could do nothing to help. The people seemed to rotate in and out of a hug. Mom whispered how sorry she was. Helen said, "We tried everything we could, Alex."

"I know you did," I was able to choke out.

Rita hugged me hard, as if her hold would keep us all together.

Aron came close and hugged my chest. "Do something, Alex." I cried even harder now, because there simply was nothing I could do.

When everybody had finished telling me with words or gestures how the felt, I slipped over to the bed and looked at Natalie. She had all sorts of equipment plugged into her but I knew that most was completely useless at stopping the dreaded disease.

Her beautiful face was drawn and thin, as if her life force was not that strong within her. Someone had brushed her hair and even applied a bit of makeup. Her long thin arms which had once held me so safe in a loving embrace, now looked weak and helpless, like I felt.

I just stared at the woman I wanted with me, as I grew old and feeble. I remembered her from my previous life and from this one. The unmistakable conclusion was that she had not died at this time in the previous life. If I had not come back, she would still be alive.

I closed my eyes and more water fell down my cheek. In a moment I felt a hand twitch and looked to see Natalie's droopy eyes on me. She tried to smile but it failed. She then licked her lips and tried to talk. Moving closer I heard, "I... waited... for you. I would... have said... yes later."

Her eyes closed again and I quickly looked at the monitor. The heartbeat was still present. She had gone back to sleep. Though I waited four more hours she still did not regain consciousness. It was as if she had saved some precious energy somehow, just for me.

Doctor Smiles and Janice came in to look at their patient. They looked as bad as the rest of us. The doctor said, "All of you out. She is my patient. Go wash up and get something to eat. If she awakes I will send someone to the cafeteria." Nobody moved till he said, "Get out now," in a firm voice I had not heard before.

We seemed to hold each other like a giant bug that was incapable of moving otherwise. Helen and Laura started to cry as if abandoning the person they loved so much. This started the rest. Mom was the strong one and she took the girls into the washroom a few at a time and cleaned them up.

Mom even took Aron and me in later, as if we were children and incapable of doing this ourselves. In a way she was right. We formed our bug again and headed for the cafeteria. We sat in a group of tables off to one side and could see the bright sun streaming in the windows.

We caught up on what had happened as if I had not heard it before on the telephone conversations. Natalie's sickness was being avoided at all cost. There was a commotion at one of the cafeteria doors and I saw two reporters being pushed out by some security that I never knew the hospital had.

The family got me to talk, mainly, I thought, to get away from our present plight. I mentioned more of what I was doing in New Jersey. They were more interested when I told them I had a conversation with President Truman in Bethesda.

I only told them the nice things, like getting some concessions for my two tailors. When I talked of how the polio tests were going, the cloud came back into our lives.

Laura told me all the details about Natalie now that I asked. From the first inception, through the headaches, sore muscles and weakness till where we were now. I was surprised that so many people had come up to my two families and gave their sympathy as if they knew that Natalie was one of our group.

I encouraged the family to eat something to keep up their strength. It was difficult to follow my own words.

We stayed around the clock on what we hoped wasn't a death vigil but on Sunday morning at ten thirty Natalie left us. She had awoken that morning with more energy than usual and it was only to say her final goodbyes to each of us.

Church was our refuge and many had prayed for us but she died anyway while holding my hand. I was just not strong enough to hold her to us.

In an hour she was taken from us and we just stayed in the room to morn. More family and friends came and gave their condolences. I was able to get the group into cars and we went to Mario's. There was much more crying but the family did eat a few things.

Late in the afternoon we parted. Rita stayed, while mom was taken home with Aron. I went to Natalie's apartment to give what comfort I could and get what help I could receive in turn.

The next morning we woke up all huddled on the bed. Strength looked to be given from one to another. When Helen started to cry again I whispered, "When you cry, the others do too. We have things to do and we have to save our mourning for a bit later."

We all had a shower and a change of clothes. I had been wearing suits for the last few months and I was a bit surprised to find my old clothes a bit tight.

Again, we went to Mario's for a meal. The room was fairly full. The boys from the Works were there and said how sorry they were for our loss. The mayor and a few of the aldermen were there as well. Mr Creighton and the others who were working for me as a sideline, came too, for they knew how I must feel. When everybody had said their pieces, I went to a quiet area and arranged for the funeral.

We talked more about how Natalie was and what she had given to our group. Throughout this I had held Helen and Laura to me when I needed them. I remembered very vividly how I had felt when Helen had died before. My mind tried to rationalize many things. Some were the benefits I had brought against the changes in history I had caused. Some people would now stay alive, while others had to die in their place.

The funeral was on Thursday, which was an inordinately long time. Rita and Laura had got some phone calls from people who wanted to attend but couldn't make it.

The Minister of State had come as a representative from Louis St. Laurent. The Prime Minister was too busy to come himself. President Truman sent his counterpart from the White House. The Premier of Ontario, Leslie M. Frost, had come in person, even though, I had never met him in either life. The Ministers of Health, Mines and of Education had come, too.

Martin and his wife, along with Joseph, Silva and Millie attended. William Shockley and George Fitzsimmons came with their wives.

Natalie's father had shown up but he didn't seem too broken up by the loss of his daughter. Natalie had told us things but never gone into details and now the secrets would be kept hidden forever.

The weather cooperated and the service was held outside the church mainly because of the size of the crowd. It looked like the entire school had showed up. I gave the eulogy and tried to be a bit upbeat but it was difficult. I would talk of things that could be shared only: the fun time in class and a part of the fun time out of school.

The burial was on the church grounds and in our family plot. Natalie's left hand bore the gold ring, so in a way she was my wife, regardless.

The wake was held at the Clarkson. It was difficult to get everybody in but the fire marshal didn't come to bother us.

When the wake was winding down the politicians descended. This was expected, for their thoughts of their country came first. They gave their formula pieces and asked, if they could talk in private. They meant it to be just with them but I just took them to a meeting room and had a talk with the group.

I had to grieve but now was not the time. If I pushed myself now, I could submerge my feelings or at least turn them into anger. This was not the way to proceed but it was the only way I had now to deal with what had happened.

I invited Messrs. Creighton, Martin, the Cranz and the group from Bell Labs with their wives. This was not what the politicians wanted but I started the talk anyway. They wanted to know where I was heading and how. They especially wanted their own country or region to reap the benefits of my knowledge. Some wanted to know just what our province could gain. This would be good, for it would give me a way to get both to behave. I told them flat out, that I was not going to take any shit from the Canadian Government. I could easily move south of the border and if the American's didn't cooperate, the British would gain a new immigrant.

I talked of the tax reform and how I didn't want to be taxed twice. Half each was fine but not the full amount each time.

On the subject of defence I said, "We need much more of a joint military. The Americans don't like a strong military force so close to their borders. I think in coming years the Canadian Government will be compelled to abandon their military, so when we need it the force will be gone. If we cooperate now, this will not happen. We can consider it a part of NATO if you wish."

"The most likely attack route from the Communist states will be over the pole. This means that we need radar stations far to the north for an early warning. We need communications much more than ever before. Some of it is of a military nature but some will be domestic. I propose a string of microwave towers across Canada and into the north. It is much easier than digging a trench into solid rock. In a year I will have a device that shoots out the microwaves in a solid beam.

"For Canada and the United States to grow we need to drop trade barriers. We both loose some inefficient industries, while strong ones can penetrate the other market. World trading blocks I see as an inevitable fact of life. If we do not act now, we will be on the outside looking in.

"Japan will form a group of Asian countries. All of Europe will form one country in all but name. That leaves Central and South America for our block. Africa is too poor to be wanted but the Middle East will be a flash point for war. Perhaps if we work together to form a world trade organisation and not GATT, we can soften the blow to the poorest countries."

I picked up three of the four books from the table. "Here is the next grade nine electronics book. It will be published across North America. The senior book is next." I held the other book up, even though all of them were in manuscript form. "The last book is for university. Young Canadians will have to learn to spell colour without the 'u' and the older Americans are going to have to spell with a 'u'. Things are going to be coming very fast. We have to be prepared by teaching what we need."

The American Secretary of State said, "The American people will not be bullied. We are not British subjects anymore."

"Fine, speak for your country and the puny population of Canada will swallow you up technologically. I am speaking for me and I am going to push education down the throats of every person in this country. We will have home computers that make the Univac less than a simple toy. We will have a library with every book ever written at the finger tips of each person with a computer. Conservative and moribund Canada will get into space first. Our soldiers will now have to protect those people south of the border for I have thought of many weapons to do this. And only a highly-trained soldier can use them."

The man sat a bit chastised and I continued. "My goal is to bring understanding to everybody. That includes the Russians, the Chinese and the other large cultural groups on our tiny blue marble. It is much harder to fight your neighbour if he is the exact same as you."

The Canadian Minister of State looked a bit indignant at me speaking for the country.

I got William to stand and he at my urging talked about what we had done at the Lab without going into too much detail. The infrared laser was very interesting even if I knew it was close to useless as an offensive weapon. It would be good against satellites one day, because they had precise orbits.

George talked more of what we were mentioning in our gab sessions about communications. He also added that his company was not fully behind anything we said here today. He did say that he hoped this would soon change.

Joseph was shocked to be called up to talk about the vaccine and the trials. He stressed the quality concerns we had put in place to make sure there was no mistakes that would make it to a living person. Natalie's recent death was brought forcefully back to me when on this subject.

Silva was called up and mentioned the anaesthetics and their own kinds of tests.

I called the Minister of Health up and he cautiously gave his report as if to his colleagues. The tests had gone much faster in Canada because of the apparent feeling of threat from the disease that had recently killed so many. We were all happy to hear of no problems to date.

Two gruelling hours later we called an end to the meeting. Everybody here was asked to keep the meeting from the press. My forms of punishments were not listed but they saw the resolve on my face. When they looked at me they must have believed. Bell was going to make a few more copies the hard way for the ministers to check.

At my request they would stay for more meetings, because I had lots to talk about concerning money. The American Secretary of State was a very busy man and I promised to be as quick as possible. He got one of the three penthouse suites but had to bunk out with the Canadian Minister of State. Mr Frost got the next and the last three had to share. All the bills were on me while they were my guests.

Lasers were now in many government archives so there was no way the information could be called back as a secret. The last section of the three books gave several bits of information on this subject.