Chapter 17: Another School Week - Realisations

The school week following my weekend of depression, anger, beer, and a large hangover had to be no worse than the weekend had been. How could it? I think in my head I decided that I had to get on with my life and just admit defeat when it came to Leslie. I really didn't need to mope around and hope that she would listen to reason. I was going on with my life. At least in theory.

I put on a brave face and decided that I was not going to talk to my friends about Leslie anymore. They probably were sick of hearing me and to tell you the truth, I couldn't blame them a bit. With that in mind I got on the bus and started a new week of school with no expectations. I was just going to go with the flow and see what happens.

I was doing fine with that idea until I got to my multimedia class. When I walked in Leslie was there as usual. There was an empty seat next to her just like there used to be when she would save me a seat. I figured it was coincidence and for her benefit and mine I decided not to take that spot.

She looked up as I walked into the class and she actually made eye contact with me. I couldn't read her expression because she was giving no hint of how the wind was blowing this week. I thought I caught a brief look of disappointment when I turned another direction to sit down, but it happened to fast and I wasn't staring at her so I couldn't be sure. It didn't matter. I wasn't going to worry about her.

I did my thing and ignored her as best I could and then when the bell rang I got up and quickly left the room. The best way to forget the whole thing was to act like it never happened. That is what everyone in my family says about everyone else in the family when they are being stubborn. "Sure, act like it's not there and it isn't." or "Ignore your problems, they'll just go away." We all said those things about each other with some sarcasm and yet looking back at my own life I probably did them as much as anyone in the family. Just stubborn stupidity.

I went to lunch and sat with the guys as usual. We did our joking around with each other and our incredibly mature teasing of the lunch ladies. It was just like old times. Except it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I was having a good time, but deep down I knew that there was a hole in my life where Leslie used to be. It was below the surface, but it was still there.

I ran into Natalie in the hallway a couple of periods after lunch. She was great to talk to and she actually convinced me to cut class and hang out with her outside on the bleachers. It was a warm day for the fall and the sun was shining. I figured, what the hell? I need a break.

We sat on the bleachers and just hung out. No sex at all. There were a few remarks by Natalie that indicated she was still open to it, but she knew that I was still upset about everything that happened with Leslie and she didn't want to push it.

While we were out on the bleachers talking there was a gym class going on down on the track. I didn't really pay much attention at first, but noticed that it was a sophomore girls class. A few minutes in to the class I was looking down onto the track when I realized that two of the girls walking past were Leslie and Mary. They must have noticed Natalie and me up there talking because Leslie gave a startled gasp and Mary turned from talking to her to look up at us. Mary looked a bit surprised to see me there and I could tell that she was even more surprised to see that it was Natalie Davis, senior hottie extraordinaire, sitting there with me in the bleachers.

Natalie and I were not doing anything other than talking, but let me tell you something. When a class full of sophomore girls sees you talking alone in the bleachers with the sexiest senior in school, all of a sudden you have total stud status in their eyes. Girls always want what other girls have and sophomore girls definitely were interested in any guy that Natalie Davis spent time with. Leslie already knew about me and Natalie, so she should have been the exception to that rule, but I think she was still surprised to see me up there at that moment with Natalie.

"Look at the little sophomore girls drooling over you now," Natalie said.

"Yeah. Well let them. I'm not worried what they think of you and mebeing together."

"Maybe we should have a nice kiss and see what they think of that?"

"No thanks, Natalie. I'm not into putting on a show and I'm not trying to play the jealousy game with Leslie. I'm not into games. If I was going to kiss you I would do it just for the kiss. Nothing else is a good reason to do it."

"You are too nice for your own good."

"I know. It's my fatal weakness."

"You know what? Any girl would be lucky to have a boyfriend that didn't play games."

"Hmmm. I'll keep that in mind."

"Here they come again."

"Yep," I said as I watched them approach the part of the track directly below our position in the bleachers.

Mary actually waved to me as they came around and I waved back. No point in being rude. Leslie seemed a bit miffed at Mary for doing that, but that was her problem. Mary and I were still friends.

Natalie and I just talked for the rest of the period. Towards the end we got up and left the bleachers and headed into the building. I didn't want to skip any more classes and get detention or get sent to the principal's office.

On Tuesday morning, while walking to a class, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to find Mary next to me.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked.

"Not too much. I'm still asking around for you about you know what. I'll give you the details when I am done asking around."

"Great. I appreciate it."

"No problem," she replied and then there was an awkward silence for a few seconds as we walked down the hall together.

"What?" I asked. She looked like she wanted to say something but was unsure if she should.

"That was ah, interesting seeing you with Natalie Davis yesterday."

"Why? She and I are friends."

"That's not what she told Leslie."

"Leslie told you about that, huh?"

"Yeah. She was really surprised to see you two together in the bleachers yesterday, so she told me what Natalie said to her."

"Well, it's no big deal. We were just talking."

"Did you really, ah, you know, ah..."

"With Natalie?"

"Yeah."

"Look, Natalie can tell anyone she wants about what she and I have or have not done together. I don't kiss and tell, so I'm not going into any details with you about her. Suffice it to say that she and I were friends, with benefits, but I put an end to the benefits part because I started to see Leslie."

"That's what I was wondering about. You stopped being with Natalie Davis for Leslie?"

"Yes."

"God, she's an idiot," Mary whispered under her breath. I wasn't supposed to hear that, I'm sure, but I did. "So... you guys are just friends now?"

"What are you getting at? Look, for the record I am not screwing around with her. Leslie is the one that is not talking to me, so I can't tell you what I will or will not do down the road."

"Okay. Fair enough."

"I have to get to class. Is there anything else?"

"No. I'm just keeping in touch."

"Good. I'm glad. Are you and Tom still seeing each other?"

"Yeah," she said and she blushed a little.

"Good. I have to go now. I'll see you around."

"Okay. Bye."

I didn't know what to make of that conversation. I didn't know if Leslie put her up to it or if she just wanted to know. What did it matter anyway? Leslie was still not talking to me.

That same day at lunch Missy's friend, Carolyn, sat with me at lunch. She and I had a nice conversation at the party after Missy tried to lure me into the bedroom. Carolyn seemed sympathetic that night to me and not really all that thrilled with Missy's behavior. She and I hadn't talked since that night, though.

"Mind if I sit here?" she asked pointing to the seat across from me at the lunch table.

"Take a seat."

"I'm really sorry about the crap Missy pulled with you since the party."

"Thanks. She really managed to screw things up for me. Leslie won't even talk to me because she heard that I slept with Missy that night."

"That sucks. Why don't you tell her what happened for real?"

"I tried. She's so pissed off that she won't even hear me out. I think she is upset because we had a nice date after that night and she feels like it was a real scumbag thing for me to take her out and act like I was into her after sleeping with Missy the night before."

"I can understand that, but you didn't sleep with Missy. You didn't even kiss her."

I just shrugged my shoulders. "That's the truth but it doesn't seem to matter."

"I heard you went off on Missy during lunch last week. She was pretty upset."

"Yeah. I harshed on her pretty badly, but she messed with my life and then smugly threw it in my face. That's not the best way to make friends."

"Hah. I guess not. Look, she's my friend, but that doesn't mean I like everything she does. For the record I am on your side on this one, but she's still my friend."

"You wouldn't be the person that you are if you stopped being her friend. She hasn't done anything to you. She's just pissed that she was turned down and was trying to save face. She just handled the whole thing badly."

"Yeah. That's true."

We ate in silence for a bit then the conversation turned to other things. Toward the end of lunch she turned the conversation in a new direction.

"So, what's with the rumor I hear around school that you are going out with Natalie Davis?"

"Man, the rumor mill is cranking this week. It's just a rumor. She and I are friends, that's all. Jeez. People see two people talking one time and all of a sudden they assume they are going out? What's next? Are you and I going to be the next big rumor?"

"Okay, okay. Sorry to bring it up. I was just wondering."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should apologize for snapping at you like that. I'm just sick of the rumors. They are really starting to get to me."

"Sorry. I should know by now not to listen to them."