Chapter 4: Memories of Another Life

I had a quiet day on Friday. I couldn't relate to the rest of the kids on the ward, and courtesy of Mike, I had my own TV. Not that there was much on worth watching. It made me wonder why I had been so addicted to the boob tube when I was 14 the first time around.

The physiotherapy nurses were up and had me walking and decided that I could get around without a wheelchair. I read the newspapers, listened to the news, and just mostly ambled around. The nurses were great and even though they were technically a lot younger than me, they made for good company and being 'one of the girls' I was privy to a lot of gossip.

I was polite and friendly with the doctor when he made his rounds, and was waiting for the shrink to come back and test me again. I still didn't have all the answers, but I figured I could show enough recovery for him to believe that it would all come back in time.

I hadn't seen Patrick all day and wondered how things went last night. I was dying to ask, but decided I would wait and find out from Linda and Julie.

After supper, I was surprised when a head popped into my doorway. A freckled strawberry blonde head with a turned up nose led the way for a body that was not quite five foot tall though very curvy. Farrah Fawcett hair, I liked it. She was wearing a halter top and cut-offs.

"Hey Pete, how ya feelin'?"

"Cathy?"

"Duh, who else?"

I shrugged.

"Jeez, your folks weren't kidding about your brain attack."

"You've talked to them?" I asked. For some strange reason, I wanted the familiarity of them. It was like I missed them.

"Yeah, they talked to me, told me that you might not even remember your old partner in crime. I thought you were just trying to stay out of school."

"Cathy, you've got to help me," I pleaded. "I can't remember anything important and, you know, stuff that only my best friend would know about me, that maybe Mom and Dad don't. If you don't help me, I might be stuck here for months!"

I could see genuine concern on Cathy's face. I got the impression that she had been a good friend to Patricia. It was a pity that post puberty hormones would take her away. She looked over her shoulder and seeing nobody there whispered, "Okay, but I can't do it now. Your folks brought me here with them. They're downstairs talking to some doctor."

"That's probably the shrink," I said. "I could be released on Monday but only if he says that I know who I am."

"How much do you remember?" she asked.

Being Einstein had only been able to give me a Reader's Digest condensed version of my life, I told Cathy all that I knew.

"That's it?" she asked in shock.

"That's more than I knew three days ago," I replied with a sigh.

"Wow. No details at all eh? Not even serious stuff like when we smoked our first cigarette together?"

"Ugh, please don't tell me that I'm a smoker already!"

"Already a smoker? God, Pete, you need some serious memory jarring. Remember? I got one off Jimmy Broadbent in exchange for his getting a look at my titties? Creep that he is. Told me they weren't worth half a cigarette and then you ended up coughing until you puked."

I laughed so hard that my stitches hurt. "I'm sorry I put you through that Cathy. That had to have been embarrassing for you."

She raised her eyebrows. "Embarrassed? Hell, I would have shown him anyway," she snickered. "Besides, they were big enough to interest him cause a month later he scored a coke bottle of his Dad's homemade wine for us just for another look!"

"When did all this happen?"

"Just last spring during the Easter break. But hey... don't you be using this to convince the doctor that you've got your memory back. I need to keep up my good girl reputation or else Father Roberto will keep me in confession for hours grilling me."

I laughed again. At least this was something I knew something about. Catholics and their confessions, though I wasn't looking forward to that experience.

"Look Pete, I won't have time to fill you in on all the years we've been together but I'll catch the bus tomorrow and come back and see you on my own. Then I can fill in some of the blanks for you. I don't want to be discussing this stuff and have your folks overhearing any of it."

"Deal," I said. Remembering what Patrick had told me about Cathy going to a different High School, I asked her how she liked it.

"Saunders is okay I guess," she said. "It feels weird being at the bottom of the grade scale though. I swear the next turkey that calls me a minor niner is going to get a black eye! I think we got spoiled last year being in the graduating class of St. John's, being able to rule over all the younger kids."

"Don't sweat it Cathy, time will fly by so fast that you'll be out and in college in no time."

"College? Hell, when I finish High School, I'm getting married. I don't want to go to college. That's your thing. You're the one with the brains remember? I'm the bod, and you're the brains."

I sat quietly for a minute wondering if Patricia had let this friendship lapse because of her own insecurities with men and maybe jealousy of Cathy's obsession with them. I guess that looking at it from my point of view, I could see things in a different light. Cathy seemed like a really close and good friend, and it certainly wouldn't bother me if nobody paid attention to me as a girl in High School.

Cathy was looking at me closely. "You're wearing makeup," she finally said, "and you've changed the way you do your hair."

"Just a little bit," I answered. "Mom finally gave in on that, but she's holding out on the dating rule."

"Bummer. That means you won't be able to date until you get into grade 11."

"Yeah, well that's okay by me," I said. "I think I can live without boys for a few more years." Just the thought of kissing a guy was enough to make me want to puke. Ugh. Shivers ran up and down my spine.

"All the more for me," Cathy laughed. "So? What are you gonna do when they cut you loose?"

Jesus. I hadn't even thought about it. Probably go through school and see if I could find some part time work so I could save some cash. In my former life I had always just managed to get by, but my work record was a lot like my track record with women. Getting a fresh start, and knowing what I had learned the hard way, I promised myself that I wasn't going to waste my money on useless toys, but save so that if there was something I really wanted, I could get it. But what could a 14-year-old girl do in the way of work?

I laid out my plans to Cathy, about going to school and finding a decent part time job.

"You mean baby-sit?" Cathy asked.

"If that's all I can get, yeah, I guess. Gotta start somewhere."

"Start what honey?" Ann asked as she and Mike entered the room. I noticed that Cathy sat up straighter and her whole attitude changed.

"I've got to find a job," I said.

"Whatever for?" Ann asked.

"Implants?" Cathy suggested with a snicker.

"Catherine!" Ann said sharply, "Patti just hasn't finished growing yet, and besides, God gave her all that she needs in life."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Johnson," Cathy said, "but you don't know how much teasing she's put up with."

"Just the same, I don't think that's a worthy goal."

"Actually," I said. "They can tease me all they want. I don't care anymore. Maybe seeing life from this side of the hospital bed has put things into perspective for me. What I really want to do is start saving for University."

I could see the surprise on everybody's face. "Hey, it's time I start thinking about my future," I said. "I can't expect Mom and Dad to foot that kind of bill, and I've only got five years in which to save enough to pay my way in."

Ann was at a loss for words. Mike was nodding his head, agreeing with me. "That's pretty profound Patti. Very mature thinking."

"Yeah," I sighed. "The problem is, at my age, there aren't a lot of jobs available."

"That depends on what you're willing to do," Mike said. "There's work out there, but most kids are too lazy or think the job is beneath them. If you're really serious, I think I can help you find something that pays reasonably well."

"Mike! The poor girl is still in the hospital. And I don't want to see her grades suffer because of work."

"Mom," I butted in quickly. "I promise you that if in any class this year at any time, if I get less than an A, I will stop working."

Cathy's jaw dropped. "Hey Pete, this ain't St. John's anymore you know."

I nodded. I knew, but I also knew that High School was the least of my worries. I had passed easily enough my first time through and hardly ever cracked open a book. Learning had always come fairly easy to me; I just never used it before. Doing it a second time should be a breeze, especially since I now knew exactly what teachers looked for.

Ann was about to speak but Mike cut her off. "You're that serious Patti? And you think you can pull off straight A's?"

"Dad, I know I can do it!"

"Ann," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We always complained that we didn't get the chances we felt we deserved and we said we would never limit our own kids when we had them. Now Patti seems determined to follow her dream. The very least we can do is support her."

Ann got a bit teary eyed as she agreed. I slid out of bed and hugged them. "Thanks Mom." And I realized how much taller than her I was. Then I hugged Mike, nearly able to look him in the eyes. "Thanks Dad... I won't let you down."