Chapter 19: Getting to Know Me

Wendy was unusually quiet when we went to bed Thursday night. I couldn't really blame her. It had to be a lot like walking in on a secret meeting only to discover that life, as you knew it, was actually run by a committee.

She just cuddled real tight to me that night and kept telling me how much she loved me. I knew she needed reassurance so I just showed her with gentle kisses and soft murmurs about how much I loved her and that I never wanted us to be apart. I could feel her tears on my shoulder as she finally drifted off to sleep.

Friday found ten new girls at Volleyball practice, mostly from grades 10 and 11. Sister Gabe told us that out of the dozens of candidates that had expressed interest in joining the team, these ten were the best, but there was already a line up to join the Basketball team when it was formed.

"Why wait until the season starts?" I asked Sister Gabe. "If we start now, we'll have months to put a great team together! And if you hold basketball practice after volleyball, Wendy and me can join in and maybe make that team as well."

"Yeah," said Annette. "I wouldn't mind a piece of that action myself." A chorus of other voices joined in as well. Sister Gabe just beamed from ear to ear.

"Okay," she said. "We'll keep the Volleyball practice schedule the way it is but for only an hour and then the Basketball team can start preparing."

I looked at Annette and said, "Are you up for Track as well?"

Annette smiled. "Think you can beat me?"

We both laughed and knew then that when spring came, we were going to have one hell of a track and field team.

We didn't pay as much attention to the news on Friday as we had the week before, but the team gathered to listen anyway as the sports reporter recounted our stunning victory over Saunders.

Over breakfast with the team, we read, or rather listened to Mandy read the account of the game in the London Free Press. The team picture that Jim Blake had taken took up a good deal of space on the front of the sports section and there were two perfect shots of Annette side by side, one of her facing the serving line and the other of her spiking the ball in the second. The story continued on the inside pages along with more stats and somehow he had managed to get our complete season schedule for both home and away games. He even listed where we would play the first game on our way to the divisional championship!

Wendy and I watched a bit of the game being replayed Saturday morning but grew tired of it pretty quickly. That was all history now and we had new history to write.

After confession, Wendy and I spent a couple of leisurely hours in the gym shooting hoops and just talking. I was pretty introspective that morning. Sunday I was going to meet my first parents for the first time.

I realized I couldn't remember what they were really like, my memories of them colored by my teenage perceptions at the time. Dad seemed always to be withdrawn, more often than not retreating to his shed after supper with a half dozen beers. I remembered Mom's perpetually worried look when she wasn't nagging me or Dad, and being glad to put the place behind me when I was old enough to move out. I hadn't seen them in the last ten years now. Our last meeting hadn't been real friendly. They both looked old and tired and gray, and now I wondered... how much misery and pain had I made for them?

Instead, they now had a bright and attentive son in Einstein, making their lives very happy. I knew that Mike and Ann were happy, but they had been also happy with their first Patti up until she turned 17. They had only been concerned about her shy personality and her withdrawal from society as she started High School.

I was seeing that as each day passed by, I was acting and thinking more like the girl I now was, that person I once had been becoming more a stranger to me each day. I felt less a 45 year old man in a girl's body than a girl with the memories of a 45-year-old man.

It made me see as well how women were treated and I wasn't very happy with it. What bothered me more was remembering that I had once been one of those people who treated women as less than equals.

I also started to accept that there were things in life I couldn't change or prevent, no matter how much I wanted. I'd be certified as a lunatic until after an event happened and then probably be charged for knowing too much about it. I really felt bad that I couldn't do anything to prevent the needless death of John Lennon. That really bothered me.

I felt a certain frustration over the fact that not only would I not be taken seriously because of my age, but doubly so because I was a girl, and yet I was so content living as one. I had even mentioned it to Father Ed during confession that I felt I was somehow wrong in enjoying my life so much. Bless him, Father Ed just asked me if I still believed in God, and would God want me to enjoy life or suffer. I told him that I thought God would want me to enjoy what I had been given and he had said that there was my answer.

On Saturday afternoon, Linda and Julie came to visit us in our room and brought even more goodies. I made the tea, and we sat and had a pleasant visit before Linda couldn't contain herself any longer.

"So you just came right out and asked Patrick?" she asked.

"There was nothing to ask," I replied. "Ask Wendy or Julie. I told him his stud services were required and he simply agreed."

Linda fell back in her chair. "I can't believe it. I couldn't believe it when Julie said he agreed to do it, and I still can't believe it."

"I can also tell you that aside from having extremely good genes, he has never tried any drugs or had any problems apart from the usual childhood things," I said.

"How do you know all this?" Linda asked.

I paused. Einstein seemed to have no problems with the truth, he just doled it out in small quantities and I really respected the way he had handled getting our two families together without making it look like it was all set up.

"Okay... Trust me on this." I said. "You are NOT ready for the whole story yet, but I'll give you a conundrum: I met Einstein for the first time in the hospital, but I have known Patrick all my life."

Both Linda and Julie's mouths dropped open as they stared at me, but Wendy got up and put her arm around me. "I trust you, Pete," she said, "and I believe you."

I let my breath out and turned to give Wendy a kiss, right in front of Linda and Julie.

Linda finally nodded and took Julie's hand.

"And, Linda," I said, "If you're going to be a mother, I think it's time you quit smoking."

Linda slowly nodded. "Can I finish this pack, Mom?" she asked teasingly. "God, girl, you know how to stop a conversation, don't you! Hey, Patrick's a virgin, isn't he?" At my nod, she continued, "So who's going to get his cherry?"

Beside me, Wendy blushed bright pink and Julie and I giggled. "Well, not me," I said, "I'm still learning how to make love to a woman," and Wendy blushed even brighter, "and I can just see me going up to Sister Elizabeth 'Oh Sister Elizabeth, can Patrick stay the night? Oh, he's a virgin, you see, and I need to teach him how to fuck!'"

Wendy had both hands over her mouth trying to hold in her laughter, but Linda and Julie were almost falling off the bed in their mirth.

"And she just might want to do it herself!"

There was a stunned silence.

"God, girl, you got a nasty imagination!" growled Linda, "and if you don't stop it, I might just have to take my woman home and make mad passionate love to her!"

I looked to see Wendy's wide eyes on mine, her hand still over her mouth, but then noticed her nipples poking dents in her blouse.

"Anyways, Wendy is my first love." I said, stroking her hair. "I might try it someday, but not just yet."

"He looks pretty good to me too," said Wendy with a smile, surprising me, "but I don't want to cheat on Pete."

I laughed. "Honey," I said hugging her close, "it isn't cheating if your lover knows and approves!" I moved my hand down to cup her breast. "Besides, maybe one day we'll do him together and fulfill his every fantasy!" I nuzzled her neck, feeling her nipple erect under my touch and Wendy moaned.

"Oh, God girl, get a room!" Julie whined.

Wendy giggled. "We got a room! What you two going to do?"

"So," Linda said, changing the subject. "Who's it going to be?"

I looked at them. "I think that since he is going to be making love to you, Linda, that Julie should teach him how. That way the two of you can both experience the act and it will draw you even closer sharing in the creation of your child."

"Patti's right," Julie said. "Who better to teach him how to make love to you, Honey, than me?"

"Now all we need to do is pick a time and location for you to start," I said.

As we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon, Wendy turned on the radio and Elvis came on singing his version of "In the Ghetto."

"That man can still sing," said Julie.

"Enjoy it while you can," I said, "In 1977 he'll die of a prescription drug overdose."

"My God!" exclaimed Julie. "Can't we warn him?"

"And what would you say, Julie?" I asked. "Assuming you could get to him. He doesn't realize he has a problem and his doctor prescribes all of his drugs. Are you going to get past the Memphis Mafia and tell Elvis to change doctors?"

Julie sighed and agreed, but said that it was just so unfair.

"I know, Julie," I said as I sat on the arm of her chair and put my arm around her. "Sometimes life isn't fair and there's nothing you can do about it."

Julie looked so sad.

"But," I said, "there are things we can do to make life better for our friends. It might never be a fair world, but that doesn't mean we have to be miserable in it!"

We were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Father Ed had decided to stop by for tea.

For the next two hours the five of us sat drinking tea, and cracking up over Father Ed's jokes. The old priest knew a bunch of them too. Just slightly off color, swearing he had learned them from the nuns!

As it was getting close to suppertime, Father Ed asked all of us to join him for a meal out. He said he got a special 'family' discount at an Italian restaurant not too far away so we wouldn't have to drive.

Linda and Julie were a bit surprised but gladly accepted the invite and we set off on foot to the Satellite.

We feasted on real Italian spaghetti and meatballs and toasted garlic bread with melted mozzarella. Linda and Julie split a carafe of red house wine with Father Ed, while Wendy and I had 7Up. I excused myself for a few minutes and used the pay phone back by the washrooms to call Ann. I explained where we were and asked if I could invite Father Ed to the family barbeque. She was very pleased and was delighted that he might come along. I told her I loved her and to give my love to dad and said I would see her at mass in the morning. From old habit, I checked the change slot on the pay phone to see if I had gotten my dime back and then laughed, remembering how important it had seemed when I was 14 the first time.

It was a great meal and afterwards we walked back to the school taking the long way to let the pasta settle. I asked Father Ed if he would be free to join our families for an afternoon picnic at Fanshaw and he seemed genuinely delighted.

We hugged and said goodbye to Linda and Julie in the parking lot and then headed in with Father Ed. We checked in at the front desk and then gave Father Ed a hug goodnight and Wendy and I headed for our room to clean up.

While we had cups and saucers, we didn't have a kitchen sink, and had to wash it all in the bathroom basin. Not that there was a lot to do, but it was nice to see that we could entertain three visitors at a time even if Wendy and me had to sit on one of the beds to do it.

We looked through our civilian clothes for something we could wear for the following day and realized that Wendy had lost so much weight that everything was just hanging on her, and I certainly wasn't thrilled with my polyester slacks. I promised Wendy that we would go shopping sometime soon and get ourselves some casual pants, jeans hopefully, and a couple of sweaters for the cooler weather.

I had an idea. "Honey, I want us to wear our tracksuits tomorrow to the picnic." When Wendy asked why, I just smiled and said, "You'll see!"

We finished off the night cuddled nude under a blanket sitting in one of the good chairs, Wendy in my lap, listening to the radio and looking out at the stars by the light of a single candle.

It was nice, it was romantic, and I realized I was in love.

Einstein and his parents weren't at mass Sunday morning, but I knew that Tom and Rita were not regular churchgoers. I wondered how Einstein had adjusted to that part of his new life. I know she stopped attending church after the death of her daughter, but I wondered how much of her beliefs had stayed with her.

Me, I didn't mind going to mass. At least it wasn't in Latin anymore and they sang modern hymns to try and bring more young people out to services. Father Ed was a good speaker and his sermons were always interesting and topical to what was going on in life today. The rest of it I could easily go through but I did my praying to the Goddess, because in my heart I knew that the Almighty could not be a male or a female but what we ourselves saw our Creator as being, and I knew Her to be a loving Mother with a wicked sense of humor!

Wendy and I sat together flanked by Mike and Ann, and even Julie and Linda were there! Afterwards, Wendy and I changed quickly and joined up with Father Ed. Ann's station wagon was big enough to hold all of us with room for the food so off we all went on the 45-minute drive to Fanshaw.

On the way, Mike told us Tom would have the barbeque loaded and ready and hoped we were all hungry!

I giggled when he proudly held up a brand new 8-Track tape and announced it was the latest thing, a quadraphonic tape! - Then slotted it into the player. He was not amused, and asked me what was so funny.

"Oh, Daddy, an eight track tape is four tracks split into stereo on quarter inch wide tape," I said. "So quadraphonic is sixteen tracks, and each track has got to be about," I thought for a moment "about one and a half hundredths of an inch wide! That's not going to work real well in a mobile unit, there's too much vibration!"

"It's not 8-track" he replied tersely, "It's quadraphonic on an 8-track format!"

"Ah!" I replied, "So it's not compatible with existing players?"

"You don't like it?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"I'm sorry, dad," I said. "I know it sounds like a good idea, but I think it will die off like the old 78 records. The problem is that it trades four channels for sound quality, and if you look at all the advances in recording technology, they've all been for better sound."

"Alright, smarty-pants," he challenged, "How would you do it?"

I sat in thought; not realizing the rest of the car was quiet as they listened to our exchange.

"Okay, Daddy, you're right, I can't think of any media that will support four discrete channels any better than the tape. You could do it commercially on movie film, but I can't think of anything for home use that would work better than tape. The problem is that you lose backward compatibility. You may as well set up a couple extra speakers in pseudo-surround. Anyway, turn up the music!" And next we were listening to Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass.

'I won't be bothering to buy any of those, ' I thought to myself. 'Maybe some collectable albums, though.'

Mike pulled the station wagon up close to the pavilion and we started to unpack the back. Ann asked us why we had worn our tracksuits, as I assumed she would, and I explained to her that we didn't have any casual slacks or jeans and a skirt would be just a bit too cool today.

"Oh, good!" she exclaimed. "A perfect excuse for another girls' day out!"

I grinned at her, and she ruffled my hair. "You're getting too smart for your own good, little girl!" she said with a laugh.

I waited behind as everyone else collected various bags and baskets and carried them up to the pavilion, and when Mike had closed the tailgate of the wagon, I took his arm. "I'm sorry, Daddy, I wasn't making fun of you, it's just that I think that quadraphonic eight track tapes will be just a bit of a fad. You should keep a look out for tape units with Dolby noise reduction. That man, Dolby, will have an enormous influence on how music is recorded."

Mike looked at me curiously. "Patti-cake, I love you. You're my baby girl. I just don't understand how you know so much about the field that I spent years studying in. You never showed much interest before." Then he glanced around and seeing nobody was within earshot, he said, "and you're not the first one to laugh when they saw that tape deck. Patrick helped me install the extra speakers and when I told him what they were for, he couldn't stop laughing either. That boy might only be 14 years old, but he knows as much about recording tape as I do. Even down to what the tape was made of and what kind of oxide coating I should be looking for in the future. He even suggested that I replace this with a cassette player!"

"He's got a good point, Daddy," I said.

Mike put his arm around me as we walked up the small rise. "You two kids... You're so different than the kids we see everyday. I'm glad that Tom and Rita don't mind sharing Patrick with me. Rita and your mother have gotten a group of women together to make doll clothes that will fit Barbies. And did you know that Tom makes wooden toys to give to kids in the hospitals? I've been going over with your mother and helping him out. I think it's a good cause, and then I hear about you and Wendy giving your hair to the Sick Children's Hospital... We seem to be doing a lot for sick kids, don't we, sweetie? Maybe it's just to remind us that we're lucky to have such great kids ourselves and grateful that you both are healthy."

And then we topped the rise and I saw Tom and Rita.

I stopped so suddenly that I caught Mike off balance, and found I was hugging his arm for dear life.

"Patti-cake, what's the matter?" he asked anxiously. "You're trembling! Honey, are you okay?" He put down the basket he was holding, took me in his arms and I buried my face in his shoulder. He didn't say anything, just held me, and I found I was wetting his shoulder with my tears.

After a minute or so of stroking my hair, he asked, "What is it, Honey? New people?"

I nodded into his shoulder, and he went on, "It's okay honey, they're nice people. You just take your time."

I felt another presence, and Mom's voice asked, "Are you two okay?"

"It's okay, honey." Mike replied, "Patti's just a little anxious about meeting new people again."

His words with their unintended accuracy brought a choked sob from me, and Ann replied, "Okay, I'll tell everyone you'll be a few minutes."

Moments later, I felt Mike's arm lift and another body snuggled up to me. Wendy didn't say anything, just wrapped her arm around me and I felt Mike hug us both close.

After a couple more minutes, I felt better and raised my head to look at Mike. "Thanks, Daddy," pecked him quickly on the lips, and then squeezed Wendy. "Thanks, darling, love you!"

"Love you too!" she replied, then blushed as she shot a glance at Mike.

He hugged us both again, saying to Wendy, "It's okay, honey. Your Mom and I love you both too." Turning to me, he said, "You ready?"

I smiled at him, "Yes, Daddy, let's do it!"

With a 'that's my girl!' he looped his arm through mine, and with Wendy on my other arm, we strolled the twenty yards or so to the pavilion where everyone was gathered.

Einstein came to meet us and greeted us with a smile. "Hi Patti, hi Wendy. Hi Mike, Dad's got a beer waiting for you. Everyone else has been introduced, would you like to meet my parents now?" he asked, with the slightest emphasis on the 'my.'

"Yeah, Einstein," I smiled back, "I'm ready now," and the three of us followed him to where Tom and Rita sat.

"Mom, Dad, this is Patti Johnson, and her best friend Wendy Miller."

God! I couldn't believe how different from my memories they looked, happy and relaxed.

Rita gave me a quick hug, and I shivered at the scent of her familiar perfume. She didn't say anything, but I caught her anxious glance as she released me to give Wendy a similar greeting.

With a "Call me Tom!" he carefully shook our hands in his huge paw, and then turned to Mike. "Got your beer? Good. I think we better get that barbeque going before my stomach thinks my throat is cut! We'll leave you ladies to get acquainted."

Ann and Rita shooed us off, saying they had everything under control. "Just don't go too far, or there'll be nothing left for you!"

We wandered down toward the lake, Einstein between us with an arm over our shoulders. He was as tall as me, and I commented, "You've grown a bit since we first met at the hospital!"

"Yeah, well, I was mostly sitting in a wheelchair, if you remember. But I have grown a bit in the last few months. Mom had to let down some of my pants."

Wendy snaked her arm back behind Einstein and gave my butt a squeeze, so I slipped my arm behind him as well to play with her bra strap, threatening to undo it. I heard laughter from behind us the two Moms unpacked the food.

"I'll bet they wouldn't be laughing if they knew what we were talking about yesterday," said Wendy.

"And what would that be?" asked Einstein.

"We were just thinking of giving you every man's wish and have a three way with you," I said, which made Wendy blush.

"Hmm... let me first find out if I can make one woman happy before I try and tackle two at the same time," he said without even batting an eyelash.

"You're not having a problem with the idea of sleeping with a woman?" I asked surprised.

"No, not once I got used to the idea," he said. "Women are softer."

"This is so weird," I said. "I wasn't sure which way I would go, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let a man near me. Lucky for me, I found Wendy. I really know what love is now, but we're both virgins as far as being with boys goes, so we thought that just so we know, we would try it once and being you're the best candidate..."

Einstein laughed as he walked us to a picnic table where we could sit down and look at the lake.