Cadence

As constant as the sunrise, it’s been there all my life. Steady, unwavering, providing a backbeat and keeping time. Sometimes close and overwhelming, and as often far away, hearable only by listening closely. At times, I made so much noise I couldn’t hear it, but I realize now it was there all along. Cadence.

When I was a kid, I didn’t know there was any other way. Didn’t every life have a metronome? I learned otherwise, and for a time, discounted the need for such rhythm. I lived with the syncopation of Jazz; faster, slower, anything different. The constant cadence faded from my thoughts and I thought I was calling my own tune. No pattern, no trail to follow, and no need. I was in complete control of my destiny, and no one had ever been this way before.

Behind all this counterpoint, the cadence continued. I learned, eventually, that the best jazz might vary wildly from a rhythm, but never abandons it. The melody circles, twists, and turns, but the rhythm is always there. Cadence.

After going for years thinking I was blazing my own trail, I realized I was following a path. Like awakening from a dream, the veil was lifted, and I could see the footsteps of another. Regularly spaced, long and even, they lead ahead of me. Looking back now, I know they had always been there. Mostly leading, at times they were beside me, as I struggled to find my way. During the many detours on my path, they had remained constant, marking time until I returned.

Keeping cadence.

Throughout my life, you have been the constant. It wasn’t restrictive, something used to force me into step. I know it for what it has been. As much as I have varied from your path, your rhythm, it was the certainty of it that allowed me the freedom to try. The security of cadence gave me the confidence to march to my own beat, to become myself.

Still today, I hear the cadence calling me, steady and strong. I can see the steps ahead, leading far into the distance, measured and sure.

These days, I hear another sound as well. A new pace, sometimes discordant, it is another drummer behind me. It isn’t until now that I really understand that I’ve been playing my own drum along the way. My own rhythm, though at times the same as yours. Following your lead, even while I’ve been leading myself. Like you, I’ve been playing cadence.

I hope that someday, my beat will seem as dependable and sure as yours.