I like to think that I am a normal woman. I mean I love, I cry, I have needs and desires. I don't know if I can explain the events of the last 2 days, I don't know if it makes any difference that I am sorry for what happened. I know that things got out of hand. I never intended to make my son rape me. I can see now that this was wrong. I should have been more mature, I should have controlled my lust. I accept that I have made mistakes. All I ask is that John be a man... and admit that he is at least partially responsible for what happened. I mean shit it's not like I just woke up one day, spread my pussylips apart and said"come and get it."

My lawyer says that I have to admit to my crime in order to get the best plea agreement and minimize my jail time. Fine, I'll do it. But if I am going to tell the story I'll do it my way, I am going to tell ALL of it. Sorry John but if you want to play hardball so can mommy.

Thanksgiving was a week away. It started innocently enough. John was taking Beth Roberts to the Fall Festival but he did not know how to dance.

"Uh mom, I don't want to look like a geek, could you show me a few steps so I don't embarass myself."

"Of course John, I'd be happy to."

We turned on the stereo and I popped in Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon. As we stood in front of each other it struck me how tall my son had gotten. I mean, I knew he was tall, but tall across the room is very diffrent from tall standing six" away.

There is something very intimate about a slow dance. For me it had always been a prelude to sex. Prior to that day I had never slow danced with a man that I did not intend to fuck. As I looked at my 6' 1" 15 year old son, I was reminded of his prick of a father. A condescending, selfish bastard who left me when he found out I was pregnant. I hated him for that, to this day, but damn if he was not a pretty man. Whenever he held me, I would get these little sweats, and flutters. My pussy would start this itchy little trickle. As mad as we got at each other, he always inspired a sense of fucklust in me. I am an attracticve woman, and have had several lovers since he left, but none of them have made me itch, I had not felt my pussy drip for another man until the day I held my son.

"Mom, uh mom, I said where should I put my hands?"

I knew where I wanted them. I could not believe that this was my son. I wanted his hands on my assmeat, wanted to feel his fingers cupping my butt. I wanted to sniff him, to lick him, to taste him, and make him mine. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to feel his warm, young cock, tight against my sweaty pussy. I wanted it, but I managed to get a hold of myself and said, in a level tone "Put your arm around my waist, and give me your left hand. "

He was so awkward and clumsy at first that for a time he became my son again. The first time he stepped on my foot it was funny, the second time I understood; but 4 times in less than five minutes... puhleeez, only my boy could do that. Each mistake made him feel more awkward, and even clumsier. If I wanted to save my feet I had to do something.

"John you aren't doing too bad for your first time, but I think you can do better."

"Aw Mom you know I suck at this, I'm going to make a fool of myself, and embarasss Beth. You gotta help me."

"Hmm well the first thing you have to do is re-la-x. I'd suggest you stay away from the fast songs. You are not ready for them. Dancing is simple when you stick to the slow stuff. All you have to do is hold a pretty girl in your arms, and rock her gently in time to the music. Beth will just think you are romantic. Wanna try one? "

"Ok I guess, so."

"Um John, I am sorry but if I am going to show you how to do this you have to stop treating me like your mom, and hold me close like you would Beth... mmm that's better."

Sinatra's Summer Wind was playing now and John seemed to be getting the hang of it. I nestled my head on his shoulder and he slowly led me around our living room. It seemed only natural that our bodies kept moving closer together. It seemed only right that I grind my pussy into him and hold it there. It seemed obvious that his thick hard coc... wait a minute, his cock WAS hard!! This was not my fantasy, this was reality. About the time I realized what was happening, John did too.

"Oh my god, mom I didn't mean it, Iamsosorry," John said as he backed away covering his bulging erection. It was at that moment my life changed forever. I knew that I could have my son if I wanted to. I could fuck him, and he'd like it. On another day, under a different set of cicumstances I know I would have let him leave. But on that day my pussy was trickling, and fucklust was upon me. On that day he wasn't going anywhere.

"John stop right there, it's alright I know what is happening. I made you get a hard on, so we can practice how to avoid it when you are dancing with Beth. You asked me to help you avoid embarassment, I mean let's face it this would have been pretty darn embarassing with Beth in front of a room full of kids at the dance. In private maybe, but no girl is going to want a big pole like this poking her in public, "I said as I playfully wrapped one hand a my son's hard on.

"Oh shit, what the fuck am I going to do?" John said in a mortified tone, with his dick still at half mast.

"John you know I don't appreciate that kind of language, " I said in a stern tone.

"Sorry mom."

"Now here is what we are going to do. This is a very common problem with some men. It is just a question of control. I want you to start dancing with me again. Follow my instructions, and no matter what I do, try to make your erection soften. Take your time and don't be embarassed. I am your mother, I used to change your diapers and I have seen everything you have,"I laughed as we begun dancing again.

I am a 35 yr old woman, and I know many things. I know how to cook, I know how to shoot a gun, and I damn sure now how to keep a man's dick nice and hard for a good long time. A Horny 15 yr old just didn't stand a chance.

"John put your hands on the curve of my backside and gently caress me. That's it slide your finger into the crack. If things are going well with Beth you are going to want to do this to her. You will ruin it if you cannot control your erection," I explained as my son rubbed my butt.

"Aw mom I can't help it. Everytime you press into me, or breathe in my ear, or lick my neck I just keep getting hard", John said in a frustrated tone. "Don't give up, there are some extreme things we can try to help you gain control... but I'd like to avoid them if I can. Tell you what, grab my butt hard and ram yourself into me as tight as you possibly can... there that's it, now keep me there, don't move, uh that's it HARDER, shove it against me harder," I demanded.

"Oh, ohuh mom, mom let go of me, stop moving, I am gonna shoot, I'm gonna cum!!" he cried in despair as he shot his load into his pants, while he squeezed my ass in his hands. He actually lifted me off the floor and began kissing me, wildly, deeply. What he did not know was that the small orgasams that I had been having for the last 5 minutes had culminated in one gigantor blast when I felt his dick jerking into me. His hands were roaming all over my breasts, and while he squeezed, and pinched my nipples through my shirt he was making these baby animal fuck grunts. He had backed me up to the dining room table and I was about to bend over for a good doggie fuck, when he just stopped. He just fucking stopped.

"What am I doing? Mom I am so sorry, please you have gotta believe me it was an accident. Please forgive me, I swear to god it will never happen again. I am not going to the dance. I can't believe I am such a pervert. It was almost like I was raping you. I just kept thrusting into you, tasting you, playing with your tits. Mom your ass... is perfect I have never felt anything like it, so warm and full and tight and round. I wanted to fuck you so bad, and I did not care what you wanted mom. I did not care! "he shouted in a loud bitter tone as salty tears burned down his cheek. I was scared, and maybe a little angry. I knew my son, and could hear the conviction in his voice. I knew that he was telling the truth. He meant it, he was never going to scratch my itchy, wet little pussy. He was going to leave me hungry for his beefmeat, always wondering how it would feel to surrender myself to my son. In my heart I had already accepted him as a lover. I craved his cock and his cum. He had the RIGHT to fuck me until I was a silly little slutpuddle. He was choosing not to. You have to understand that had never happened to me before. I am not being conceited, I am being honest. Every man that I have wanted to fuck, I have fucked, and they have been thankful for the privlege. How could a 15 yr old snot turn me down. I am not rich, or smart, or even an especially nice person. I know that. But I am a sexy attractive woman who is damn good at fucking. I know that too. It is who I AM, part of my identity.("Hi my name is Susan, and I am a fuckslut.") I'll be honest, at 35 I was afraid that I was starting to get old, loosing my charm. Maybe that's why I just could not let it go. I started fantasizing about my son's young hard cock. I wondered what his cum would taste like, was he salty or sweet. Would his cum slide down my throat, or would it stick in little creamy clumps. I had to know. His dick felt soo big and hot through his pants when he pressed in to me, but would it fill me, stretch me, scratch my insides the way his father's did? I decided to seduce my son. I began wearing skimpier and more revealing night clothes around the house. Whenever possible I exposed myself to him.

"John come up here I need you to get me a towel," I called to him from the shower.

"Uh ok mom I'll just lay it down over here,"he said as he got an eyeful of my wet naked body.

"Honey this is so embarassing but I have soap in my eyes, would you mind drying my face off?... Ah thanks, honey you are a lifesaver. Hmm I guess you've seen more of your wrinkly, fat old mom than you'd ever want to huh?" I said in a self depreciating tone.

"Mom what are you talking about! You are gourgeous! Look at these tits, and that ass! Any man would be lucky to fuc-- uh sorry mom, I got a little carried away there. But you do look really, um good."

"Well I guess my tits are ok, at leat they haven't started to sag, but here--feel my ass. Do you think it's getting a little flabby?" I said as I traped his hand between my cheeks.

John started moaning softly as he played with my ass. His large firm hands kept pulling on me. He kept making little circles around my anus, working up the nerve to stick a finger in me. I felt myself begin to drip. If I had just kept my mouth shut for a little longer I know I would have had him. But when I moaned out in pleasure, my son thought he had caused me pain.

"Oh god mom what am I doing. What's wrong with me? Mom I don't know how this hapened. A part of me just wants to fuck you. I'm sorry but I want to fuck my mom. I wish you could be mine, my woman. But... I know it can never happen. I won't let it happen. I promise mom, I swear to god, I will never touch you like that again. You can trust me," he said with tears in his voice as he turned and quickly left the room. I tried several times over the next few days to talk with him about what happened, to reason with him. I told him that he had not hurt me, that it had actually felt good, and that I forgave him for what happened. But the stubborn, selfish little shit paid me no mind. He was so wrapped up in his own private crisis, he just tuned me out. I was his mother. I couldn't very well say "son I need your monster meat stuffed up my slippery cunt." It was hopeless. I had failed. That had never happened to me before. The thing that made me special, that identified me as me from the time I was 14, was that when I wanted a man in my bed, I got him. Every. Fucking. Time. When you try to judge me please understand my mental and emotional state. I was desperate, horny and scared. Now that's a dangerous combination if there ever was one. I can see now that some of my actions were wrong. I admit that. But others were at fault too. I decided if John was too pig headed to fuck me willingly, well I would just have to make other arrangements. I never could have made my son rape me, if his father had not helped.

Ronald Sloptvik is an asshole.

Let's be clear about that. He does not respect women(men either) is selfish, and sometimes cruel. A small part of me still loved him though. I did not really have a choice, cuz every once in a while I neeeded his cock in my cunt. It was as simple as that. After all these years my pussy still belonged to him. He owned it, and he knew it. As long as I didn't piss him off he was a lot of fun to be aound. He wanted nothing to do with fatherhood, or resposibilities. If I stayed away from shit like that he would do just about anything for me. He'd never admit it, but my pussy must fit him pretty good too. Every couple of weeks we'd get together and fuck until we couldn't piss straight. My itch would get scratched, his dick would get polished. Then I'd remember: Ronald Sloptvik is an asshole.

I do not really love him and he does not love me. I guess that's why this all happened. I wanted someone to love me, to care about my feelings. I needed someone to talk to. Is that so wrong? Yes Ronald fucked me better than any man ever had, but it was not enough. John added the potential of true love AND Hot sex. It was worth the risk, even though he was my son. Maybe you have never been tempted. Maybe you have neve done something that you are ashamed of on one level but... still know you had to do it. If you have never been faced with such a dilema then you are not qualified to pass judgement on me. Have you ever been in love? Have you ever needed someone so much that you would do anyting to have them? I have, and I did. Think about it- people write songs, books, plays and movies about the extremes we go to for love. People get lovesick, crazy in love, in fact "all is fair in love..."Whenever Ron and I finished fucking, I'd go back to my life, and he'd return to his. John did not know that Ron was his father. I guess that's what got me to thinking. I went to his house the day before "the incident".

"Ron, open up I need to talk to you." He came to the front door wearing a pair of black levis, no shirt no shoes; just 200 lbs of 6ft 3in muscle crammed into a pair of levis that looked like he painted them on. I felt a tiny little itch at the bottom of my stomach. He looked me over, his eyes lingered on my heavy tits and short skirt. I knew when I put it on that he was going to flip it up and ask to fuck my ass, in fact I was counting on it. As soon as I got inside it began.

"Damn Suze you look good enough to eat. I need a taste right now baby," John said as he pressed me up against the door.

I could feel the doorknob bumping hard into my ass as he licked and kissed my face. I knew my plan had a better chance of working if I asked for the favor BEFORE I agreed to fuck him so I tried to slow things down.

"Do you like my outfit? I was thinking of you when I bought it, I said as I pushed him away enough for me to spin around quickly and make the short skirt flare out. It was clear that I did not have any panties on. I faced the door and began wiggling my ass, teasing, taunting John with my round juicy bottom.

John had not been allowed to fuck my ass in 16 years. That was the price he had to pay for leaving me and our child. It had been hard and maybe a little bit cruel, because he was a first class assaholic. He loved to lick my butt, to snake his tounge deep in my tightest hole. John loved the power it gave him over me, seeing me squirm and pant and cry out. But what he loved most of all was mounting me, drilling his 8" cock deep into me; powerfucking me for all he was worth.

It was not uncommon for him to make me bleed. I loved it when he licked me up and down my ass, I even liked it when he massaged my hole with his finger. If he lubricated me really good and went slow I did not mind a gentle fuck in the ass. But that's not how John liked it. He liked me bloddy, and screaming, while he rode my tight butt and pulled my hair. When we were young and in love I guess I figured he was my man and I submitted. He was so appreciative after, and as soon as he recovered he would give me the most tender, delicious pussy fuck. It was worth the pain to make the man I loved happy, it was worth the pain to get the pleasure that he always delivered after.

But there was no way I was going to let him put me through that kind of pain, when I stopped loving him; when I knew he didn't love me. I still needed his cock. I sucked it, and fucked it. I licked it and kissed it, but I never let him stick it in my ass again. Oh he still asked me for it from time to time, but I think a part of him accepted that this was the price he had to pay for abandoning his family. In 16 years I had never given in. Not one time. Until now. As I lifted my skirt and offered my ass to him I saw him go hard and the asslust that covered his face was priceless.

He actually began to drool, and had to lick his lips and swallow.

"Wh, What are you playing at Susan? This is not funny. You wag that ass at me again and I'm going to fuck it, whether you like it or not," he warned as he stared at my ass.

"It's funny you should mention raping me, cuz that's exactly what I want you to do. I need you to help me with something, and if you do I will let you have my ass for one night. You can tear it apart. You can fuck me hard and nasty, and as bloody as you like. Just like we used to baby. For one night you will own me, go ahead feel how tight and warm it is, put your hands on it, that's right give me a squeeze. Can't you just picture me crying and screaming, and begging you to stop. But you won't will you? No, not you. You are gonna hurt my poor little ass aren't you. If you want you can tie me up. I'll be helpless and spread before you. I'll just have to take whatever you want to do to me. It's been 16 years Ron. Mmm do you remember how my ass smells, how it tastes? I haven't let anyone fuck me there since you. Can you imagine how tight I am now? Do you know how much it is going to hurt me? I'll be laying there crying, helpless, hating every minute while you fuck my tiny, tender little ass. You better make it count Ron, cuz I will never let you do it again. You will have one night to break me, to rape me the way we both know you've always wanted." I said as I pushed and wiggled my exposed ass into him. " Here's all you have to do... "

The plan was simple. I gave Ron a key, and he was to" break in", wearing a ski mask and a prominently displayed (temporary) tatoo. He would subdue our son and fuck me at (unloaded) gun point. Then on a whim he would force me to suck our son, to kiss him and caress him. Finally my boy would be made to fuck his mommy's cunt. If all went as planned I would then surrender myslf to Ron the following night for a vicious and no doubt prolonged series of anal rapes. It would be well worth it if I could have my son. I knew that once my boy got a taste of me the mixture of guilt and lust would bring me many years of sexual pleasure. He would beg my forgiveness, ask how he could make it up to me. I would tearfully tell him how I hated the fact that he had raped me but... a part of me was excited by his skill as a lover. Since he had already raped me, I would ask him to make love to me, to help erase the memory of the pain he had caused.

How could a guilty, horny, teenager say no?

"Will you help me Ron?" The nasty little grin on Ron's face told me all I needed to know. As he ran his hands along my body I felt myself start to drip. I could feel his hard bulge pressing me into his front door. My ass kept rubbing the door knob. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and put his head under my skirt. Ron licked ad kissed my thighs for several minutes before he buried his tounge in my drippy little cunt. I couldn't believe it--he was making me cum already! It was too soon. We were still dressed, we were still standing up for shit's sake! It did not matter a wet, sticky mess was leaking out of me and on to Ron's face. I groaned in despair as I humped myself against him. I trapped his face with my legs and rammed the back of his head as hard as I could into my pussy. I do not know how he was able to breathe, and frankly I did not care. He was just a fuck tool, for my pleasure. A thing to get me off. I grunted and squatted on him rutting like a beast until I was satiated. He laughed at my inability to control myself, then he picked me up like some fucking cave man, slung me over his shoulder and carried me to his bed. Ron fucked me for a long time that afternoon, and I was pretty sore by the time he was done. Just the thought of what we were planing to do turned us both on. A lot. Ron had a few conditions though that I had to agree to.

He made me write a letter saying this was all my idea, and promising to allow him to fuck my ass until it was raw and bloody. I gave him permission to lick, spank, fuck and cum in my ass as many times as he wanted for a 12 hour period of his choosing. He then had me read the letter into a tape recorder. In retrospect I guess that was a mistake.

I was so nervous the next day waiting for John to come home. I was wearing a pair of cut off, shorts and a black silk t-shirt. Ron had cut the phone line and was making a final check of his rape kit. Handcuffs, tape, gun--yup he was ready. Ron had applied one of those tatoos that come off with alcohol and water. It was a snake with a knife through the skull. If things went bad and the police were called, all John could identify the rapist by would be the tatoo--which of course would be washed away immediately after the rape.

"Come here Suze you gotta calm down, yer making me crazy," Ron said as he pulled me into his lap.

He hugged me close to him and softly nuzzled my neck and flicked his tounge in my ear. I began squirming in his lap and gently rocked myself on his erection. His thick meat was poking me in the ass and I was about to give it a squeeze when I heard John's key in the lock. Ron pushed me off of him, put on his ski mask, and grabbed the gun. My heart was pounding as I looked at him. He looked dangerous, evil--like violence waiting to happen, WANTING to happen.

"This is it Suze. Last chance to back out. I am going to have to be pretty scary to pull this off, and things are going to be a little rough on you. It's gotta look like it's real. He's gotta believe that I will rape you, kill you both, or your plan dosen't work. Say the word and I'll walk out the back door right now. Otherwise I'm going all the way."

As I stood in front of him I began to calm down a little. It was just an act. Deep down I knew Ron would never really hurt me. I had asked him to do this. I had a very small window of opportunity. I knew that once John started fucking girls his own age it would be too late for me to seduce him. If he went to the dance with that slut Beth, I might never get another chance. If I backed out now, I'd risk my one chance at true love.

"Do it Ron, do whatever it takes but I want to fuck him, I want him to be mine. You owe me this. I promise you will get the ass fuck of your life tomorrow, but give me our son tonight."