The banshee-like howl from the other room brought me instantly wide awake... again!

"Eeeeeiii-YA-A-a-hhhhh! FI-ILL me U-U-up!"

Wild grunts and squeals accompanied my confusion as I rolled off the lumpy old couch and scrabbled, half awake in mortified shock, to stuff my few possessions in my bookbag. Still dressed from the night before, I scrunched into my shoes as the gasping and growling escalated, and fled out the front door with a little sob catching in my throat. Tangled hair was masking the tears streaming down my cheeks as I glanced at my watch while trying to get my bearings.

'No time to eat or clean up... Ten minutes to get to my first class!, ' flashed through my mind; followed immediately by, 'The bastard!'

I had every reason to be upset. My first day at Jr. College was starting with a complete disaster! While he hadn't openly lied to me, my boyfriend... DAMN HIM!... EX-boyfriend!... hadn't had the guts to tell me the truth. He'd just let me walk in on it last night, with all my assumptions hanging out!

I'd thought that I was such a lucky girl back in high school. I mean... I had a college student for a boyfriend!

We'd made such marvelous plans for when I graduated! We'd share an apartment while we both went to Jr. College; help each other with our studies; have a little 'home' for the two of us; plan out our lives together. The addition of my little bit of money made the rent possible... And that wasn't all I'd willingly given him! Feeling sure that this was really love, I'd let him play with all of me! I'd even been happy about it when he'd taken my cherry with his finger... after all, that proved he was as committed as I was! I'd even swallowed when he demanded that I suck his cock! I'd even promised that we'd 'do it'... 'for real'... once I'd moved away from home!

I was all excited... hungrily looking forward to finally making love... when I'd nervously parked the car out front late last night and run up the steps. It had been a long drive that I'd spent happily giggling to myself in almost fevered anticipation. I was already hot! My panties felt damp, and I was fiddling with the buttons on my blouse as I quietly eased the front door open.

And there 'she' was... bare-assed naked!

"Hi!... come ON in!... Get your clothes off 'n pile on!"... or something like that! She was busily fuckin' him! MY boyfriend!

... And she wanted me to fuck 'em both! He was just happily laying in bed with a big ol' hardon, and a huge ol' shit-eating grin! My heart fell to the pit of my stomach... I'd just stood there, unable to move, or think, or say anything... just feeling clammy-cold all over! Her stuff was all over the place.

She was living there!... with MY boyfriend!

And they both just expected me to happily jump in bed with the two of them! When I got over the shock and screamed at her to get out; that she was history, they had both just laughed at me!

"A man has needs," he said. "She's not a little prude like you... she likes screwin'! If you aren't going to be part of 'us'... well... there's the couch... and the door in the morning!"

Somehow, between the front door and my car, I'd managed to at least get my hair under control, and my tears were wiped from my face before I blundered to my eight o'clock class. I spent the whole first period with my mind jumping from the anger and disappointment of last night... to the scared feelings in my empty gut... 'Where was I going to go?! How was I going to live?!' The class was totally beyond me.

I was deep in this fog of self-absorbed confusion... But yet, there was an energy in the lecture hall that continued to creep through and fill me with excitement! My ears picked up on a pounding of frustration and anger. The very air sizzled with emotion! I found myself staring at the lecturer, not hearing or understanding, but 'feeling' every word he was saying. I was perched on the edge of my seat... squirming! A part of me, deep within, beyond the torment in my mind, was completely captivated and enthralled by the spectacle!

Wild-looking, with grey-and-white hair that had been a 'tasteful', if somewhat longish cut at the beginning of the hour, waved and flew in every direction as the gnarled old man energetically strutted and capered about the lectern. The bright, piercing gleam of his eyes flashed hypnotically from beneath the unkempt thickets of his bushy eyebrows. Maniacally waving his arms, he pounded his fists as he punctuated his almost demonic discourse. Suddenly thrusting an accusing finger toward this student or that, his loosened tie flapping askew and his rumpled shirt threatening to fly from the waistband of his baggy, stained slacks, he veritably roared from beneath his tobacco-stained, walrus mustache!

"You call these things on my feet 'Athletic Shoes'! "As certain as I am, that at sixty-three years old... I am NOT 'athletic'!... I'm certain that they've been mislabelled to deceive! Play upon the consumer's fallactious egos with the goal of increasing sales! As with all things, packaging and pretense over-ride common sense, logic, and the evidence of our senses!"...

"It is a fantasy that you are told to buy! A completely ficticious dream-world... of houses, cars, clothes, foods,... and, oh yes, 'needed conveniences' and 'necessary entertainment' that is paraded, tantalizingly, before your wallets!"...

He stopped, balanced on his toes, glaring up at us all!

"Your very dreams, hopes and desires are being manipulated! 'You 'need' to look, drive, eat, smell... This Way... , to be 'popular', 'successful', 'complete'!"...

"In the name of profit you are told what to think... how to feel... Your choices are made for you! Your values are dictated! Last year's car is suddenly inadequate! Your clothes, though warm enough, don't put you at the forefront of the 'latest'! Hell... you are told that your body doesn't even match today's 'necessary optimal standards of perfection'!"...

He was madly pacing from one side of the room to the other!

"Your entire life-style, life, even your mate... is pre-chosen for you... by some damned think-tank of advertising ghurus whose only real concern is the bending of your values and senses to alleviate the unfashionable bulge in your bank account!"...

"Your eyes and ears have been trained by a life-long bombardment of sophisticated communication manipulation! You cannot trust that which you perceive... your conscious mind is no longer capable of delivering 'truth'! All that is left... is learning to trust the sub-conscious!"...

... "The Nose Knows!"

"I want you to remember... ," and wildly gesturing he cavorted about the front of the hall, spinning, whirling, pumping his fist in the air while he sort of chanted.

"... Follow your nose!

"The mind, your thoughts, do not rule the needs of your genes!...

"In the matter of a mate, you are predestined!...

"Your flesh will find it's match! They used to call it 'fate'!...

"Now, real science can show us just what it is that will make each individual soul cream!...

"To struggle against all of this by imposing your mental 'will'...

"... Your 'intellectually' thought out preferances...

"... Your commercially manipulated values...

"Will imperil and destroy the 'ease' of your life's dance!"...

The entire class was frozen in stunned silence. My mouth was dry as I fidgeted in my seat. He stomped his foot and wagged a finger high above his head!

"The unheeded disappointment of your genetic, corporal requirements invariably leads to an unfulfilled, unbalanced, stressful imposition...

"A woeful, joyless, self-hateful, unrecognizable and untenable condition...

"A love-sucking, confusing, energy depleting, pity-evoking depression...

"An unwarrented maelstorm of a life-long battle against uncalled-for, totally unnecessary, painfilled dispair!... if not down-right insanity!

"... And WHY?," he howled at the ceiling!

He spun about... flung his arms wide... and in his madly dishevelled, wide spread stance... bellowed through his perspiration beaded glare!

"It's all about your refusal to be cognizant... to learn... to listen... to attune yourselves... to the subtle, yet obvious and unmistakable, flowing freedom of your individual genetic disposition!...

"It's all about total honesty... to yourself!...

"... and training yourself to recognize, understand, and trust that which is often called 'intuitive', or 'gut' responses!"...

The rumpled sack of the old man lowered his arms to his sides. His tangled hair hid his bowed face for a moment... before his quiet, yet powerful voice rang off the walls.

"Follow your nose! The Pherenome Knows!"

Somehow, even though I'd felt a profound sense of relief moving through all my intellectual confusion, I was wondering if I was in the right class. Was this a lecture about 'science'?... 'psychology'?... had I witnessed a 'performance piece'?... was this a 'poetry class'?... 'philosophy'?... maybe even 'theology'??... 'modern dance' seemed unlikely, yet... ?!?

I had no idea... my first day at Jr. College, and all I could be sure of were the facts that: I was hopelessly screwed up; I was panting with an dull ache in my chest; I had been 'swept-away' by what I'd just witnessed;... and my panties were soaking wet!

The professor just quietly stood there with his fists jammed deep into the pockets of his baggy pants. The stunned silence was finally broken by a self-conscious smattering of applause and his snorted one syllable... "Har-rumph!" As he began gathering his notes at the lectern, he offhandly commented that we were out of time for the day, but that he would entertain any questions in his office, beginning at four p.m.

"Write them down and turn them in, signed, on your way out of class."

Without intending to, I'd scrabbled down the first thing to come to mind, and found myself floating amongst a whole gaggle of other wide-eyed girls, to thrust my note in his gnarled old hands. As our eyes met, they momentarily seemed to lock, before he gathered up the pile of unread notes and absentmindedly turning, shambled out the door...

... and I felt myself unaccountably blushing!

My 'dazed' condition hadn't improved with the day. Map in hand, I'd blindly stumbled through hallways and from building to building, with confused shards of my memories and broken plans making rational thought seem impossible. Was my emotional confusion due to my being betrayed? Were the itchy, hot feelings in my crotch because I already missed my boyfriend's... EX-boyfriend's... kisses and groping fingers? Why did I get all turned-on by the old professor's lecture? Was that big-titted-bimbo really living there? Had my boyfriend... EX-boyfriend... been cheating on me all along? Could I find a dorm room? Where IS the next class? What was it about the lecture that had me bitting my lip and squirming in my seat? How come that wild, old professor keeps running through my mind?

Although English was usually one of my better subjects, all the terminology in my next class just flew through my empty, yet cluttered head. 'The perogative of the imperative is always conditionally subjective in accordance with gender, tense and intention.'... well, that's what I had scribbled in my notes, anyhow! Somehow, I managed to scrabble my disjointed way through my first Jr. College morning.

'They' were in the cafeteria as I tried to choke down lunch! Across the room, 'she' rested one of her big boobs on 'his' forearm as 'she' stroked 'his' thigh under the table and giggled in 'his' ear. 'He' had this big smirk on 'his' face as 'he' just stared at me with half closed eyes! 'He' looked absolutely hot... and phoney... and I hated 'him'! What a trusting little fool I'd been!