Part 2: Going Mono

Do you know what it's like to feel dead inside? I know, and that's what helped me finding the true meaning of life. It all started one night when I was walking down the street, trying to find a nice quiet place where I could just finish it all. You see, I was at a very low point in my life. The most wonderful girl in the world dumped me, my boss fired me, and all I could think of was that pistol in my pocket. I walked into an alley, I put the gun to my head, and that's when it hit me: If I'm not afraid of dying, then I'm already free. I can do anything I want because I don't care about the consequences anymore.

So I hid the gun under my jacket and started walking towards the convenient store across the street. I walked in just as the last customer was leaving. I pulled out my gun and started shouting at the man behind the counter. I felt the adrenaline, I could feel my face go red. I was out of control and it felt great!

He gave me the money and I headed out, bumping into a police officer that was coming in. I panicked and I shot him. I pushed him away from me, threw the money on the ground and jumped up in the air, landing on his police cruiser with both feet. Then, suddenly, about twenty more cruisers showed up. The cops started shooting at me so I fired back. About ten bullets entered my body, all at once. I remember it so clearly. Standing there, feeling free, overjoyed, for the very first time in my life. Then the most terrible thing happened. The most terrible thing that can happen to a human being... I woke up!

(looking at his watch)

Oh, man, look at the time! My lunch hour is almost over. I gotta get back to the office or my boss will friggin kill me. I'll see you around...

The entire beginners Drama class applauded as James Higgins finished his monologue. Standing on the stage located in the class he smiled at the others, satisfied.

Ms. Goldman, a beautiful 37-year-old blond, smiled at James, pleased. He would most definitely stand above the rest in this class as the semester would proceed, she thought.

"That was very good." Ms. Goldman said. "It definitely shows that you put a lot of time and effort into this. Did you write this on your own?"

"I sure did." James replied with a smile.

"And what inspired you to write something so dark?" She asked.

"It's something that's in all of us, I guess." James shrugged. "This seems like the best place to let it out. Isn't that why we're all here? To express what we can't in public?"

"I disagree." A female voice announced.

James searched with his eyes for the speaker.

"What was that?" Ms. Goldman asked.

"I said I disagree." It was Laurie Chapman, a 17 year old Junior. She had a very short brown hair that gave her sort of a boyish look, yet had a beautiful face that projected the innocence of a little girl. She looked very cute, very pretty. Very innocent.

"And why don't you agree?" Ms. Goldman turned to her.

"Acting is about feeling good about yourself. It's about making people sympathize with your character, or care for the plot. You don't have to be focused on the evil of the world in order to intrigue an audience."

"Acting is about what's real. And this is real." James said.

"Maybe in your world." Laurie said.

James smiled at the innocent little brunette. "What's your name again?"

"Laurie. Laurie Chapman." She said.

"Well, Laurie, you're a left-winger, aren't you?"

The class laughed at his words. Laurie smiled at him and nodded. She laughed along with everybody, not minding the joke. She could always take a joke.

"Settle down." Ms. Goldman said. "James, this is not Political Science 101 here. Yes, acting is about expressing what we might not be able to express in public. It's about expressing things that we don't always feel comfortable with in public, depends on the situation our character is in. That includes getting in touch with sides of us that we don't always know we have. But what's most important is that you remember NOT TO GO TO FAR. When showing our dark sides we have to put the CLOTH of the character, not the SOUL."

The last sentence was said right as the bell went off. The students went out of the classroom and stormed down the hole. James, like many others, was headed to the Cafeteria for lunch.

It was the first week of the new semester, and James thought he should try out drama, based on the recommendations of Nick and Mike who practically dragged his ass into it. So far it's been cool. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't do it with his friends, who were in the advanced class. This semester they had a new drama teacher teaching the beginners' class, so James did not have the same teacher as Nick and Mike. But that was cool. The new teacher, Ms. Goldman, was a cool teacher, plus the entire male population of the school drooled just thinking of her. Nick even had thoughts of what he called an "operation" against her. Same kind of operation the four of them did to Natalie and Alex on that night they all got horny.

It's been a while since that fateful night. Natalie and Alex did not tell a soul about it out of fear that they would both suffer. During those two weeks when James and Alex's family was on vacation, the two girls have been raped repeatedly by the four boys. One time, after a particularly vicious rape, Mike forced Alex to take a shower with him. During that shower, when she saw he wasn't trying to rape her again, she pleaded with him to stop doing it and to convince the others to stop too. As a result of this request he slammed her on the floor, on her back, and got on top of her. She felt his cock getting hard very fast as he rubbed it on her cunt, as they were both nude and soaked from the hot water. She closed her eyes tight as he raped her, realizing there was no way out of this situation. She grew quieter, more detached. She would not talk to anyone about what she has been through. After all, Nick did save her life, and he never let her forget it. He never let her forget that he could take back what he had given her. He told her he'll keep a close eye on Natalie, and if he so much as smells someone after him, he'll hurt her bad.

Alex knew he wasn't kidding, as he continued to be seen more and more in public with Natalie.

After the first rape, Nick ordered Natalie to come to his home every day, or else he would hurt Alex, and spread rumors about the two girls all over school. Knowing she had no choice, she did as told, and every day, while his parents were still at work, she'd come to his house and let him do whatever he wanted. She gradually accepted this situation, and even started liking anal sex. But it wasn't all sex. Sometimes, instead of having sex (or before or after having sex) Nick would help her with her homework out of his own initiative. They gradually started talking about their lives, their hobbies, their interests, etc.

Nick forced her to be seen with him as his girlfriend. Although at first she did it out of fear, she soon showed genuine affection towards him. She knew she was in a situation she can't escape, so why not accept it and look at the bright sides?

Nick's friends at school were surprised to see that a stud like Nick chose this little freshman over all the other girls, but no one made a big deal out of it. It wasn't as if he was a football star or anything. He was in drama. Who in school cared what those people did with their lives?

Gradually the rape meetings of the six teens became less and less frequent. Nick had Natalie for himself, and James had Alex on certain occasions when he could. Kyle had a million girlfriends. The youngest one was thirteen while the oldest one was forty-three. Mike didn't have a sexual partner, so he would fuck the girls during the gang rapes they had, and sometimes would borrow Alex when he was visiting James.

Nick enjoyed the situation of having a sex slave, but did not let his guard down from Alex and Natalie.

He knew that if one of them would freak out, it could expose the entir e ordeal they've gone through. Him going out with Natalie was not only out of hormones, but a strategy, to divide and conquer. Nick raised up Natalie's self esteem, convincing her to participate in the beginners' drama class. He knew she would love it.

Due to the gang rapes, an ironic situation occurred: Alex, who was always the outspoken and daring out of the two girls, rolled into a little ball in the corner, while Natalie, who was the shy one, felt like a goddess when she was with Nick. She started liking being with him more and more, and didn't care when the other boys had sex with her, as long as it wasn't too rough, although she did like it rough.

Nick knew Natalie was his to control, but what about Alex? He thought having her away from Natalie will discourage her from going to the cops, but what if it would only encourage her? Natalie was her only friend who knew what was going on with her. Alex had no one else to turn to about the brutal rapes she had endured from her brother and his friends. What if she would tell? What if having Jimmy fucking her would drive her over the edge?

Nick seriously considered killing her. He did not give a rat's ass about human life. Although he never killed before, he already started making plans in his mind. It would probably have to look like an accident, but certainly not as a sex crime, otherwise the others would make the connection and might go to the cops themselves.

In the meantime, he had another operation in mind: Raping Ms. Goldman.

As he was walking towards the table with Mike, he noticed James walking towards the table as well with his tray. Natalie and Kyle had the next lunch period, and the three usually set with another friend of Mike, who was sick today.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Great. Did my monologue today."

"The one you wrote?" Nick asked.

"You bet."

"Never read out stuff you've written. Don't expose too much of yourself. People tend to spot your weaknesses more easily and use them." Nick said.

"So, did they like it?" Mike said.

"You bet, except for some nerdy little girl who thought it was too violent or something. She has no idea what real violence is. Anyway, Ms. Goldman loved it."

"I'd love to have her." Nick said.

"Yeah, she's a great teacher."

"Fuck teaching. I already got a great teacher. I said I'd love to have her."

Mike leaned forward. "Man, we're in a public place. Now is not the time to discuss it."

"Fuck it!" Nick said. "We're gonna do it or what? I'm telling you, we can pull this off."

"We need to be careful." Mike said.

"Come on, if it wasn't for me and Kyle, the two of you would still be jacking off in the bathroom. You can't be careful all of your life. No balls - no pussy! Right?"

"Look," James said. "My parents are gonna go up north again. They're taking Jack with them. I thought about coming along, but maybe instead, all of us can get together and..."

"Is Alex staying home?" Mike asked, not trying very hard to conceal his excitement.

"She will if we make her."

"No!" Nick announced. "Listen. She's been under a lot of pressure. Now, I don't give a flying fuck about her, but we need to let her cool off for OUR sakes. Jimmy, you let her go on vacation. You do not come along."

"And what if she decides to tell mom and..."

"She won't!" Nick said sharply. "She knows I play with Nattie. She does not wanna think what would happen to her if she tells."

Nick leaned forward and spoke quietly. "Now, maybe you two wanna play with my sex doll, but I think we better move up to real pussies. If you're not in, you're real pussies." Nick got up and left his tray at the table.

"I lost my appetite. Dump it later."

Mike took Nick's fries and put them on his own tray.

"What's on your mind?" Mike asked.

"I think we should talk about Nick's idea. The four of us. He's out of fucking control. We need to be there if he does something. We either do it all together or we don't do it at all."

"Sounds good to me." Mike replied.

"Mikey. Whatever happens, I cover your ass and you cover mine. Nick is starting to be like Kyle more and more every day. I don't know if I can trust them anymore."

"Okay. I got your back, bro." Mike said as he munched on ketchup-coated fry.

The next few days went by without any special events. Jimmy got to talk a little with that girl Laurie, who told him all about her believes in the kindness of mankind and how we're all born good, but the society makes some people do bad things.

What a load of crap! James thought. That girl is living in a fucking bubble.

The lunch periods went by okay as Nick stopped talking about raping Ms. Goldman and stuck with more trivial issues such as... um... well... ah... Hell, who cares what he has to say as long as he doesn't do anything crazy!

One night, while Jimmy was watching TV, there was a knock on the door. He didn't expect anyone and went to the door to see who it was. As he opened the door, his entire world stopped from moving.

There were two people standing at the door. A man and a woman, and they were both dressed in police uniforms!

James did not know what happened, but he was certain that somehow it's connected with the series of gang rapes he has conducted with his friends against Alex and Natalie.

"Y-yes." He stuttered, waiting to hear what the officers had to say.

The male officer, a black man with a mustache in his early 40s, started talking.

"Are you James Higgins?"

"Yeah."

"Are you the son of William and Marsha Higgins?"

"Yes, I am. Is something wrong, officer?"

"Son, there is no easy way to say it. Your family has been involved in a hit and run while they were driving to their hotel. I'm afraid they are all dead."

James opened his eyes wide as he was looking at the officer. The expression on the cop's face froze. He was serious.

James had no idea how he should act right now. He looked at the female cop. A pretty young woman in her twenties or thirties, long black hair that was pulled back, tied behind her head. She had deep blue eyes. She reminded him of Alex. He looked back at the male cop with surprise.

"All of them?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Wow. Um... Please, come in. Tell me some more."

The two cops entered the house quietly. The man was leading. He was obviously the more experienced one. It was clear just by looking at their body language that he was in charge.

As the three of them sat down, Officer Wallace (that was his name) started pouring out the grim details of how James' family has died. He said that the person who hit their car was probably drunk, and that he fled the scene. Jack died on the way to the hospital. The rest died before the rescue units arrived at the scene.

Bottom line was: His family is dead. The person who did it is on the loose.

The rest of the details did not matter.

James felt as he was dosed off throughout the conversation. It's like all the words and details were flowing in and out of his mind.

As they were done talking, Wallace and his partner, officer Langham, went to the door. Wallace did not look at James as he headed out. Langham, who was walking behind him, gave James a sympathetic smile and put her hand on his forearm.

As the door shut behind the young woman, James sat down, took the remote, and turned the TV on again.

The next morning, as James woke up, it took him a moment to recall last night's events. The night before he had several phone calls to his house from worried family members and friends. He reassured them that he was okay, and rejected their offers to let him spend the night with them. He said he just needed to be alone for a while.

As James got up, he switched on his stereo System, letting the song "Beautiful Day" play out loud.

He knew that none of the neighbors would dare to ask him to turn it down. They all knew about the ordeal he has been through. He just danced around the house with no real purpose, taking advantage of the fact that he was alone in there. He knew that the total impact of the event had not hit him yet, but he wasn't worried about it. It'll happen when it'll happen.

Aside from the grief for the loss of Jack and his two parents, James was sorry he wouldn't be able to fuck Alex's ass anymore. Then again, if he was bound to have lost his parents and brother, it's better losing Alex too instead of having to cope with everything together with the little bitch. But goddamn, it was a waste of perfectly good, big, juicy, fifteen-year-old breasts.

Throughout the day James had visits from friends and neighbors, all comforting him for the tragedy he has endured. Mike, Nick, Kyle and Natalie came as well.

Although Natalie and James had very complex relations due to the pain and humiliation he has inflicted upon her, none of it mattered anymore. He was Alex's brother, she was her best friend, and now they both had to be strong. At least that was how she saw it.

After a long day filled with visitors, James was finally alone, and was free to sit on the couch and watch some old tapes in the VCR, with no noise but the sound from the TV and the raindrops at the glass window. For him, being alone was the natural state of a human being. Even with his unusually close relations with the little clique of his and his special bond with Mike, James felt he was alone in the world. He couldn't REALLY trust anyone but himself. Mike was too much of a follower, Kyle was crazy, and Nick was getting paranoid all the time, especially concerning Alex. Well, no reason for him to worry anymore, is there?

James wondered in the back of his mind if it's possible. Is it possible that Nick would somehow arrange for... Nah, it couldn't be. He couldn't have pulled anything like this off. Maybe some of Kyle's crazy neighborhood friends could though. What if Nick and Kyle were in it together? No! Kyle would never mastermind anything like that on his own. He wouldn't give it the time of day. And Nick... Nick was a moral person. Well, for a rapist. They wouldn't. They wouldn't! Would they?

The doorbell ringing broke James' line of thought. Who the hell could that be? It's pouring wet outside!

As he was walking towards the door, James went in his mind over the list of people who have visited today, and those who didn't. As he reached the door he had a main "suspect": Ms. Goldman!

Ms. Goldman must have been among the first at school to hear about what happened. After all, she had Natalie in her sixth period class. Thinking of Ms. Goldman, James immediately felt his cock stiffen. As he was standing at the door, exhausted from his long day and horny at the thought of the hot blond teacher, he took a deep breath, reached for the handle, turned it, and opened the door.

"Laurie?"

The little boyish-girlish creature from class was standing at the door, looking at him. She was wearing an old brown Jacket, blue jeans and tall army boots. Her short trimmed hair was all wet and matted out from the rain, which has just stopped. She looked tensed, as if she had no idea what to say or do next.

"Hi, Jimmy. I heard about... You know, the accident..."

"No, I don't know." James said in a frozen expression. "Can you please get me fill me in?"

"Sorry." She said quietly.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I figured you'd might want some company. No, I don't mean... I just hated to think of you all on your own here. No, you know what? It's stupid, forget it. I just wanted to see that you were okay, so..." As she turned to leave, James felt an unexplained impulse to stop her as his voice jumped out of his throat: "Wait!"

She turned.

"You... You can stay here."

She continued to look at him, unsure if she should stay or leave.

"Please, I insist. Come in. Sorry, I'm just a little agitated. I've been this way all fucking day. Come in."

Laurie slowly stepped toward Jimmy and went into the house. This situation was awkward for her. As soon as she heard in school about James' family she knew she had to go visit him. She told her family all about James' tragedy and about how she knows him, and told them she might spend the night at his place. Her parents had no problem with that. On the contrary: they have always raised their daughter to share her fortune with other people. They were thrilled to see how her daughter gives from herself to other people, especially that poor boy who lost his family in a single night. Laurie's parents assured her it would be fine for her to spend the night in James' house, and promised they would not try to contact her, as long as she would contact them and tell them if she is staying. She deliberately did not make a decision until she'd gotten to his house and met with him. She did not want to be a burden.

Laurie knew who his sister was, but never talked to her much, and she has known James himself only for a couple of days, yet she knew she had to be there for him. All of her life she's been taught to help other people, even strangers. She felt good helping people. Just seeing them smile was a reward beyond any other, and when people suffered, she could feel their pain as if it was her own. All throughout the day she kept thinking about James, alone at home. She wanted to come, but she just couldn't. she was intimidated by unclear feelings she had for him. On the one hand, he was fascinated with the opposite of everything she has ever been taught about life, but on the other hand, the darkness in him attracted her somehow. She kept telling herself it was just physical attraction, that she had felt that for many guys, but it was more than that, and deep down she knew it.

Now, walking into his house, all she wanted was to wrap her arms around him with a big hug. She wanted to stroke his thick blond hair and tell him that everything is gonna be okay. As she stood before him, she held herself from even touching him. She didn't want to make this situation more awkward than it already was.

"How are you, James?" She asked, and immediately regret it. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! What kind of a stupid question is that?

"Fine, considering." James said. "So, you want a beer or something. Please, help yourself."

"No, thank you. I don't drink."

"Anything else?"

"No, I'm fine." She said as she entered the house further more and looked around as she took off her jacket, revealing a red sweater. "Don't you just hate it when the rain stops right after you've arrived at where you're going?" Stupid! Stupid!

"Yeah. That sucks, I guess."

The kitchen was a mess. It was clear that many people have been coming and going all day, yet no one did much of a cleanup in the house.

"Let me give you a hand." Laurie said. She folded the sleeves of her sweater, went to the kitchen, and started to wash the dishes without hesitation.

James stood there and stared at her. What a kid. She just threw herself into his grief and started helping him the first chance she got without even asking him. As he stood there, watching her silently, she looked at him and smiled: "What?"

James smiled back. "Nothing."

He moved towards the fridge and grabbed a beer bottle. "You sure you don't want some?"

"Oh, no, thank you. You go on, sit down, relax. I'll be finished here in a sec. Okay?"

"Okay."

James moved towards the living room. He didn't feel any guilt for not helping Laurie clean the kitchen. It was her decision. He did not have the obligation to help her. It was his house, and he would clean the kitchen whenever he wanted to. If she wanted to do it herself, that's her business.

There was nothing separating the kitchen and the living room other than the counter, so Laurie and James were able to see each other as he was watching TV while she was washing the dishes. Every once in a while he would look at her. She looked pretty cute with that red sweater of hers. There is just something about that color that emphasized the beauty of girls who wore it. This case was no different. James noticed before this girl was attractive. Her face fit in nicely with her short hair. As she looked at him, he noticed her green eyes for the very first time.

As Laurie noticed him looking at her, she smiled. He once again smiled back, and returned to watch the TV. As he was drinking his beer he rolled different thoughts around his head. His cock started harden again as he tried to imagine what Laurie's pussy would look like wet.

He continued to watch the TV, but didn't really noticed the movements and sounds on the screen, as his mind drifted with memories of Natalie and Alex naked, moaning in pain and pleasure, and images of Laurie moaning under him as well. God, he would love to have her.

As Laurie finished cleaning up the kitchen, she joined James at the couch.

"So, what are you watching?"

"Oz."

"Oz?"

"Yep. The prison show."

He was just watching the scene from season 1, when the new Muslim inmate walked into Adebisi's cell, trying to convince him to make an alliance with him, while sawing false allegations against the Muslim leader. Laurie was shocked as she noticed that the big black man dropped his pants, showing his behind to the camera. He sat on the toilet and waved the Muslim out of his cell: "Go, little man, go. Try the man next door."

"Oh, my god! What is this?" Laurie asked in disgust.

"What? It's just a TV show."

"Still, it's gross."

James smiled. If she only knew what had happened in that show during the entire 5 seasons. Hell, if she only knew what events went on in the house she was at, in the kitchen she has cleaned, on the couch she was seated on. He aimed the remote at the VCR and stopped the tape.

"Okay, we'll watch something else."

"Oh, no, please. We'll watch what you want to watch."

"No, really. I don't care. I know this show by heart. Like you said, always with the dark side."

Laurie wanted to respond. She wanted to tell him that the world was not always so dark, that there are beacons of light, but what do you say to a boy who lost his entire family?

Laurie smiled thoughtfully at James and stroked his straight blond hair.

"What's going on, Jimmy? Please let me into your world."

"Why do you wanna know what goes on inside of me?"

"James, I know things don't seem to make sense right now, but in the end everything that happens is a part of something bigger. God is looking down at you and..."

"Holy fuck!" James interrupted her. "Are you one of those fucking evangelists who think that everything that happens is god's hand? Let me tell you something, you cocky bitch! Nick's grandfather survived the holocaust, okay? He survived the fucking Nazis and he started believing in god because HE was saved. It's the most arrogant thing to say. As if only his own survival determines whether or not there is a god. What about the millions who died? God watches him but doesn't watch all the others? What are they, fucking puppets? I don't care what Nick's grandfather went through. If his beliefs come from his own little experiences, he's a scumfuck. He's a scumfuck who thinks the whole world revolves around him. I hate him! And I hate you!"

Laurie was shocked. She did not know what to say, even as she opened her mouth to respond. It didn't matter though, because as she opened her mouth to speak, she was knocked by a slap to her face. James got up from the couch and took her by the arm.

"Come on, I want to show you something." He said as he led her to the corridor.

James took Laurie by the arm and led her down the hallway. As they were walking, he turned, leaned her on the wall, and kissed her. Laurie was confused. She pushed him away, but not forcefully enough for him to even notice. She never acted with force towards anyone. She didn't know what happened to him. She didn't know what he wanted. All she knew was that she enjoyed that kiss, but that it wasn't right. She wanted to help him, but not like this.

James took his face away, grabbed Laurie's arm again, and led her to his room.

As he took her into his room, he pushed her onto his bed, closed the door, and turned on the stereo system. The song "Aint My Bitch" was playing. Jim threw himself on the bed, on top of Laurie, and started kissing her passionately, holding the back of her head with his hand, squeezing his lips against hers.

James leaned back and took off his shirt. He wanted to be totally naked with this one.

"No, wait". She whimpered.

He smacked her on the face and started unzipping her pants. "No. Stop!" she cried as she rose up and tried to fight him off.

James punched her and she fell onto the bed, feeling the taste of blood in her mouth as her world was spinning around her.

James took off her pants without any fight, and quickly took her panties off as well, throwing them aside. He rose up, took his own pants off, and quickly got rid of his underpants, revealing his stiff cock.

Laurie raised her head and looked up at him. "Please..." She whimpered in a pathetic little voice.

James was so furious. "How dares she?! How fucking dare she?!" It's time to teach her a lesson she would never forget.