When you’re not quite sixteen, life’s issues tend to be the social ones, the biggies, of course, being about boys. That’s pretty much the reason for coming to Sr. High Camp, to meet ones your folks won’t know about. When you’re going to be a sophomore next year, Camp John Wesley’s where you can do what a senior does, but it’s still pretty intimidating.

Colored laces in my tennies may have expressed my personality in middle school, but at this level, perhaps they mark me as a geek. I’m not sure. I shouldn’t define my life around conformity, of course, but I don’t want them to see me as different. I have to process what everybody’s wearing, if they’re chewing gum or not, their makeup, whatever.

The older girls, I figured, would have boyfriends from the previous summer, but me, I’m new. They’d also have boyfriends back home, but maybe take the camp opportunity to expand their experience. For girls like me, though, it might be my chance to get going, why I’d packed my best bra.

From the list on the cabin door -- Antlers -- my cabin-mates would be Dianne, Kara, Bets, Tish, Becky and Shannon. Joyce would be our counselor.

My introduction to Kara was while unpacking, the cabin door wide open. She’d been changing, and when she turned to introduce herself, she’d been in nothing whatsoever!

That evening, Joyce told us that camp every year started off with a snipe hunt. “Listen up. We want to catch a bunch. Get out there and hunker down, quiet-like. They’re hard to see, so just keep watching. Let’s go!”

We spread into the woods and when I ran into Kara, the two of us set up watch behind a tree, me in her lap, there being just one place to sit, It doesn’t mean anything when another girl feels your nipples, I told myself, her arms around me for balance, her rubbing them because it’s getting cold. I wished mine were bigger.

After a while, Kara said we should trade places. It doesn’t mean anything when you’re on hers, I told myself, her excited because you might catch a snipe.

After it got too cold, though, we gave up, and back at the campfire were chagrined to find marshmallows in process. Next summer, we’ll be part of the trickery.

Kara made me a s’more which tasted great, and when we sang the closing song -- one about friends -- Kara was behind me, arms again around me because it was cold in the back, away from the fire.

Kara suggested we return to our cabin by way of the archery range, as maybe we’d hear an owl, but I said we needed to get back and finish arranging our things before lights out.

Becky leaned down from her bunk and announced with authority, “Antlers gets the boatyard.”

I missed the significance, but as not to reveal my ignorance, waited until someone else asked, and she was only waiting to amplify. “For Do it till Dawn. You know, where we get together with our boyfriend till then.”

I already felt left out.

At archery, Becky passed on another bit of information. “The counselors do it too, but it’s separate. Joyce’s date will for sure be Drew.”

We girls knew Drew, the swimming instructor who Shannon said last year ran his hand inside her top as he helped her with the Australian crawl.

I wanted to meet boys, so in passing Sean and Jacob from Bear Paw on the path, I smiled big. “Hey!”

“What’s up?”

“Not much. You two?”

“Looking around. Want to come along?”

We headed across the creek. In discussing the dining hall, they laughed when I described the spaghetti as dead white worms.

We kept walking and walking, getting further and further from the cabins, until Jacob flopped down on a mossy patch behind a log, “Good place to rest up.”

I sat down beside him and Sean claimed my other side. We gossiped about the counselors, pretty sure about Drew and Joyce, though as I pointed out, it probably wasn’t exactly true. A boy on either side, the sun through the branches, this was pretty great!

“Your cabin set for Do it till Dawn?” asked Sean.

I wasn’t prepared for that one, but managed “Mostly,” to sound knowledgeable.

Then another surprise, “Ever been kissed in the ear?”

“Maybe.”

Sean rolled enough over me and ran his tongue up my earlobe. “Like this?”

“Hey, don’t,” as it felt icky.

“Or maybe like this?” running his tongue downward and pinning me with his arm.

“I said, don’t!”

Sean hooked his knee over mine. “Want to get a jump on the dawn thing?” lifting up my t-shirt, the one I’d bought at the camp store.

“Quit it!” Fooling around was one thing, but not with them seeing my bra. I didn’t realize how hard my heart was pounding.

Jacob touched my hip from behind.

Sean grinned. “We won’t tell.” tugging at my shoulder straps. “You’ll like it,” pushing my hand between his legs.

Jacob was trying to unsnap my shorts.

“Stop it!”

As there’d been nobody to hear, I realized afterward, the two could have done what they wanted, but they looked startled and sat up.

“Hey, we were just kidding.”

“They’d have fucked you,” Kara’s opinion when I told her.

“Oh,” not wanting to know more.

“And have gotten away with it because you’d think it was your fault.”

“Maybe it sort of was.”

“You maybe want to do it, even, but on your own terms, right?”

“Uhh, no”

“There are better ways.”

“Oh.”

“Girl ways, I mean.”

I’d not seen it coming. “I’m not a...”

“Don’t have to be. It’s super easy in a place like this.”

“What’s easy?”

“Looking at nature, they think, when two of us wander off by ourselves. Ever wonder when me and Tish are reading on her bunk when the rest of you come back from campfire?”

“Tish?”

“Ever hear us after lights out?”

“No,” though I had to admit that with all the outside sounds, it might be hard to.

“‘Cause me and her know how.”

Not knowing what to say, I didn’t.

“I’ll help you try out a boyfriend first, though.” Kara offered, kissing me on the cheek.

Lunchtime the next day, Kara cornered me. “That guy at the table behind us, red and black shirt?”