Chapter 2: The Beginning

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," the words just kept going round and round inside his head. Not as often as in the last couple of weeks, he noticed, but still there. It just seemed impossible to believe he would never see her again. Most of those early weeks just after the accident remained a vague memory to him but those words said by the priest on that grey-rainy day in June, stood out in his mind as he watched the coffin drop inch by painful inch into the grave now to be occupied by both his Father and his Mother.

The September sun looked cold and distant with Autumn not quite making up its mind whether to get down to some serious business right now or leave it for another couple weeks. The afternoon neared it's end and the overcast sky hung dome-like above them, one of those days that never seems to come to life as it drifts gently towards evening. Liz, Rosy and Daniel walked back to the house after a pleasant lunch at a recently refurnished pub-restaurant by the river, that Liz had found.

They had a nice time and it pleased Liz that at last Daniel showed interest in other things after the devastation that befell them all in June, although he seemed subdued beside her as they strolled back in the late afternoon. She never spoke but left him to his solitude knowing what he would be thinking about. Indeed she inhabited the same place many times herself over the last few months. Her gratitude toward Rosy for taking control of their lives during this difficult period went unsaid but Kate noticed and very much appreciated it. She had been wonderful, always knowing when to take charge, when to step back and when to just leave them both in peace. They were very close, much the same as Kate and Daniel had been and, since arriving, Daniel had slotted into their lives seamlessly even though the circumstances could have been different.

They walked about two miles along the river back to their house on the outskirts of Cambridge. It rained every day over the last week although today stayed dry prompting Liz to suggest they all go out together after being stuck inside for so long. It had been good for all of them and they laughed as the wise-cracking waiter had made jokes while serving their drinks and meal. The route back along the river bank fell into silence compared to the noisy bar and the ground remained wet and slippery from the recent rain with an early evening mist just beginning to waft in from over the river Cam.

"Daniel, I've been thinking," Rosy said breaking the spell.

"It's D.D.," said Daniel pronouncing the two letters quite distinctly.

"Pardon," Rosy queried, caught by surprise. Liz too looked puzzled.

"All my friends call me DD. Only Mum used to call me Daniel. I think I prefer DD now," he said softly.

"Oh, OK, I never realised, sorry," she understood what he meant now.

When they used his name it must have reminded him of his Mother. Despite Liz's darker complexion, they were alike in just about every other respect including their voices.

"Right, DD, we will need to be ready to leave at about seven tonight if we don't want to miss the start of the film," Rosy continued.

"No probs," he said as he began to surface from whatever deep place he visited over the last fifteen minutes or so.

The two of them planned to see the latest James Bond film in town that evening and Rosy looked forward to going out with Daniel. At eighteen and two years older, she finished her A levels gaining a place at Manchester University, although she decided to defer going up this October and have a gap year doing some voluntary work abroad. She would leave in the middle of October, less than a month away.

Of course the last few months had been a horrific period for all of them and Liz moved in with Daniel as soon as the news came through. Kate and Alex had been out to a restaurant that evening and an oncoming driver had fallen asleep at the wheel ploughing head-on into Alex's car killing them both outright. The funeral took place a week later and a few days after that when most of the urgent matters had been dealt with, Liz insisted that Daniel come to Cambridge to stay with her and Rosy until the time arrived when they could discuss his future. Daniel's exam results arrived in the meantime and apart from a perfunctory 'congratulations' no one, least of all Daniel, paid much attention to the ten passes, all at A and B. His sixteenth birthday also come and went with the same indifference. He planned to leave school at the end of term anyway to go on to a sixth form college and so moving to Cambridge for a while presented no problems. Treading water for a while meant he did not have to worry about much at all.

As they came to a bend in the river not far from the house the path became very muddy where it moved closer to the river bank. Walking in the middle, Rosy trod on some wet leaves and slipped sideways knocking Daniel's legs out from under him. He went down on his side before he knew what happened, rolled onto his stomach and then slid down the river bank stopping just as his legs entered the water but the danger passed as the river meandered into the shallows at this point. Everything went quiet for a moment as he looked up at them, his face and hair covered in mud. Then Rosy burst out laughing, she just couldn't stop herself. When Liz saw that Daniel slithered no further, she too started and then Daniel joined them. An enormous pressure valve seem to have been released as the three of them cried at Daniel's state.

"Come on," said Liz at last, "we need to get you out of those wet clothes and into a hot bath before you freeze."

Rosy and Liz helped him up, still giggling as they made their way back to house. Liz ran the bath and Rosy helped him out of his muddy clothes downstairs in the laundry room so that he didn't mess up the carpets. After undressing he didn't look so bad with just his face and hair now caked in mud. Rosy threw his filthy clothes into the washing basket where his other things waited to go into the machine.

The heating in the house switched off earlier in the day so he shivered as he went upstairs to his room wearing just his boxer shorts, he turned into the bathroom which nestled between his and Liz's rooms connecting the two. The large bathroom sat in a big house much like Kate's and Daniel's, with spacious rooms and a huge garden that ran all round the back and sides leaving them secluded on the outer edge of Cambridge. Rosie's room faced theirs across the hall and although Daniel took the spare bedroom, Liz used it as an overflow of her own keeping most of her out of season clothes in the wardrobe which covered one wall. The dressing table was also full of her underclothes so they moved in a chest of drawers for Daniel to use while he stayed there. Liz helped him pack before they left Ealing but the distraction of recent events meant he didn't have nearly enough clothes and frequent washing kept him supplied with trousers and shirts and since he hadn't been out much while he was there problems hardly ever arose.

Liz turned as he entered the room, "It's just about ready and I've put some bath oil in to get rid of the smell. I hadn't noticed until we got home but that mud stinks".

"Thanks Liz," Daniel said as he removed his shorts and sank into the hot water. Surprisingly to him and just like at home with is Mum in many ways, the problem of being around each other dressed or otherwise never arose, probably because of them having other things to think about. Obviously Liz and Rosy never worried about it and having Daniel around seemed so natural to them that they took it for granted nothing needed to change during his stay.

"I'll leave you to it then," Liz said as she left "have fun." Just for a moment as he lay there, his mind took him back to the night in June after he and Kate had been out shopping together during the day. He remembered what she said and how he had dressed up that evening creating the exact image of her from that day. He felt uplifted and not sad at all, almost as if she had a real presence, in his mind at least. Different though, part of him now rather than someone else who had disappeared forever.

As these images glided in and out of his consciousness he realised now how much he missed her and begun to wonder what he could do but events elsewhere in house saw to it that a solution would appear without him having to do anything and also a lot quicker than he imagined. He got out of the bath, dried himself off and wandered in to his bedroom. He looked in his draw for something to wear but found nothing. Just then Liz came in with some hot chocolate.

"Liz, have you seen my clothes, I don't seem to have any?" he asked taking a sip of the warming liquid.

"Oh, I think we have a problem," she said, "I forgot that what you wore today had to make do for tonight as well, the rest is waiting for washing and won't be ready until tomorrow."

"What am I going to do," he asked looking up at her "Rosy and I are going out tonight and I have nothing to wear?"

"Hang on, I'll get a robe and we'll go downstairs, I'm sure we can think of something," she disappeared into the bathroom on her way to her bedroom and came back a few seconds later with a feminine but long pink robe.

"It's cold in here, just put this on for now," she said handing him the soft but warm garment. He hesitated until she said, "Don't worry, I know it's mine but no one will see. Anyway it's warmer than sitting around with no clothes on at all."