Hey, Bethie. I’ve got this mosquito bite on my ankle. I hate when they bite me there.

There’s no toilet paper. Weena, do you think you could get me a roll?

It itches so bad. If you get stung by a jellyfish, they say pee is a good analgesic. Do you think you could...?

What? Pee on your foot? I’m already done. I just need some toilet paper.

Not even a dribble left? It was just pee, wasn’t it? You didn’t...?

I already flushed. I just need some toilet paper.

Oh, Bethie. It itches like crazy. I might have to amputate.

Weena, you’re crazy.

Do you ever wonder why they put a fish behind the toilet? No boys ever pee here.

Weena, what are you talking about?

The picture of the fish behind the toilet. It’s very phallic. And very big. Probably give a boy an inferiority complex and he wouldn’t be able to go. Although most boys’ dicks are bigger than you’d think. Bigger around than that toilet paper spool. And about twice as long. If a boy were here, he could piss on my mosquito bite. Make it all better.

Weena, could you please please please go to the supply closet and get me a roll of toilet paper?

I’m pretty sure we’re all out. Do you think cunt juice would work?