A little tongue in cheek story. It is in no way sanctioned by Guinness World Records.

Ross King, Shock Jock Extraordinaire, nodded to Kimberly and Dean, as they continued distributing the outfits. The steady stream of participants passed under the banner, proclaiming the Guinness attempt for the largest “Human Chair”.

The old record of 1311 was going to be eclipsed. This was the third practice, and virtually every adult in the entire town had turned out for the event.

Not content to simply set a single record, they were going for multiples. Each person who wanted to participate was given an official uniform, and directed to the massive changing tents, where the men and women exchanged their travel wear for the official shirt and briefs. From there, they marched single file into the gated corral, to ensure the number of participants were accounted for, and there would be no interference.

Groups were standing around practicing, lining up front to back, only inches apart, and sitting on the lap of the person behind them on a count of three. It was very rare that any group would collapse. The practice rounds had been successful.

Ross checked the weather again. Timing was everything. The front was advancing rapidly and they were rushing the last participants through the changing area. The Guinness judges were counting out the members onto the field. The simple white tops and shorts, with black lettering proclaiming the town’s name, was meant to generate badly needed publicity.

The chalk lines had already been painted on the ground. Ten tightly packed concentric spirals ended in a single chair. At the sound of the horn, the entire line would sit backward, going from standing to the ‘human chair’ in one second flat.

The coaches worked rapidly, lining up each group, ordering them male / female. The Guinness judge walked the circle, rapidly counting out the number of participants in each loop. There was excitement in the air, laughter, anticipation. There was little doubt they’d own at least two new Guinness records within the hour.

As each loop was completed, the next one lined up less than a foot outside the internal one, a densely packed grouping, looking like human dominoes.

Kimberly stood next to Ross, watching the proceedings nervously. “They’re gonna run you out of town,” she said. “It’s not too late to stop it.”

Ross laughed. He was going to be a legend. He’d parlay this day into a major multimedia career.

“They’re going to run all of us out of town. I hope the car’s gassed up,” Dean whined.

“Stop sniveling. You knew how this was going to pan out. It’s done. Look they’re on the last loop. We’ll get an official count any moment now, and not a minute too soon. Go man your cameras.”

His assistants gazed nervously at the approaching squall line. They were running out of time. They hurried over to their stations and trained their video cameras on the massive group below.

Ross and the Guinness Records judge, standing on the raised platform, confirmed the raised flags. Everyone was ready.

“How many?” Ross asked. Just from the number of outfits distributed he knew it had to be close to 5000.

“Four thousand, nine hundred and twenty two,” the judge confirmed.

Ross stood up to the microphone. “Citizens of Sanford! ARE YOU READY!”

“READY!” 5000 voices screamed out.

“On the first siren everyone will SIT and remained seated on the lap behind you for one minute. That will give us a new GUINNESS WORLD RECORD, more than tripling the previous record!”

The crowd cheered excitedly.

“The second siren will announce the completion of the record. NOBODY MOVE!”

Another cheer.

“We will hold the position for FIVE FULL MINUTES. A BRAND NEW GUINNESS WORLD RECORD!”

The screams and cheers were if anything even louder.

Ross grinned. “We’ve got a storm approaching but we’re not going to let a little thing like water bother us are we!”

“NOOOO!” screamed the masses.

“On the third Siren, everyone will stand and turn 180 degrees. The fourth Siren will sound, and you will SIT AGAIN. THE LONGEST HUMAN CHAIR REVERSAL, AND A THIRD GUINNESS RECORD!”

Screams and cheers continued emanating from the crowd.

“ONE MORE MINUTE, THAT’S ALL IT WILL TAKE. THE FIFTH AND FINAL SIREN WILL GO OFF AFTER ONE MORE MINUTE, AND ALL THREE WORLD RECORDS WILL BE OURS!” Ross screamed out into the microphone.

The response was almost deafening.

“Once more. Sanford, ARE YOU READY!” He’d dragged it out as long as he could. He could see the sheet of rain, only a few hundred yards away, the first stray drops already landing. Perfect.

“READY!”

“On the count of three, ONE ... TWO ... THREE!” The Siren blasted out a single shriek, and nearly 5,000 people sat. It was beautiful.