In some ways I have been very lucky. I have loved and been loved by two of the kindest, funniest, most beautiful women god has ever put on this earth. To have it happen once would be enough for any man. But to have it happen twice ... I know I don’t deserve it. I met my wife when we were both five years old; she lived next door to me and we were the only kids our age in the neighborhood. Beth was a beautiful, blonde, blue eyed tomboy. We were inseparable. Not only was she my best friend, for many years she was my ONLY friend. When she was 8 years old Beth told me that I was going to marry her someday. I laughed and told her that I was never getting married. Things started to change when we went to Jr. High. One day after school she invited me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I turned her down. She cried and ran away. I had never made her cry like that before, and I did not like it. The next day I went to her house and said I would go with her. She coolly informed me that she had already asked Ronald Sloptvik — an 8th grader, and that since he had said yes he was her boyfriend now. I remember clearly how angry I was at her, perhaps even more so because I did not know how to put it into words. She did not belong with dumb old Ronald ... she belonged to me! “Beth I am sorry, Please forgive me. He can’t be your boyfriend, I am. We are supposed to get married,” I said in desperation.

“I do forgive you John, but ... you said no, and he said yes. I have to go with Ron. Please understand,” she said in stubborn sympathy. But I didn’t. I watched as my Beth went out on her first date with a boy and it was not me. I watched from the bushes as Ronald kissed her softly on her parents’ front steps when he brought her home. I watched when he stuck his tongue in her mouth and pressed her up against the wall and tried to feel her tender little breasts.

“Ronald stop don’t do that let me go! Get your hands off me,” Beth cried as she tried to get away from the stronger boy.

“I can’t stop now. Just let me see them. I just want to hold them and maybe kiss them a little. I promise I won’t tell anyone,” he said as he covered her mouth with one hand and roughly ripped open the front of her dress.

He then squeezed her breasts before lowering his head and sucking and biting on them through her bra. He lifted her dress and started to grope her privates. He did not do it for long. I tackled him from behind and began pounding him in the face, and stomping him as hard as I could.

“Don’t you ever touch her, don’t you EVER look at her. She is MINE! I’ll kill you mother fucker. You hurt her again, and you are dead!!” I was screaming and crying as I pummelled the larger boy.

Beth’s father ran outside and saw his daughter’s ripped dress and the bloody teenager on his front lawn getting the shit kicked out of him. He pulled me off of him and wrapped me in a tight bear hug. “Stop son, it’s ok. You don’t want to kill him. Come on let’s go check on Beth. She needs you now.”

Beth was sitting on the ground crying. She screamed when her father tried to hold her.

“Don’t touch me, this is all my fault. I am so stupid! I couldn’t get away! I tried but he was too strong. If it wasn’t for John ... he would have raped me ... he had me!”, Beth sobbed hysterically.

Her father did not know what to say, or do. But I did. I sank to the ground and wrapped my arms around her, and rocked her for a long time.

“Don’t worry Beth. I will always be here for you. I love you. Anyone that tries to hurt you will have to kill me first. We will be together forever. I swear to God. I’ll never let anything hurt you again.”

Beth’s dad looked down at us, smiled, patted me on the head and said

“Amen son, Amen to that.” He then turned and went back in the house. Beth and I stayed out on her lawn holding each other, talking, laughing even. She was my best friend and soon would be my lover. We were lucky. We had it all figured out by age 12. Or so we thought.

Beth and I were married when she turned 18. We both had pretty decent jobs. I made $13 an hour delivering pizza (we’d never go hungry) full time while I went to college. Beth made $11 as a Customer Service Supervisor at Sears (Love that employee discount). Beth’s mom had died several years ago. Her share of the $75,000 Insurance policy had been held in trust, accumulating interest until she turned 21, or was married for one year. We had been married about six months when she gave me the news.

“John, I am pregnant. I know we had not planned to have a baby so soon...”

I jumped off the couch and picked her up in my arms and said” I love you. I can’t wait to see a mini you. You have made me the happiest man in the world.”

I began kissing my wife, slowly, hungrily devouring her mouth, her sweet little tongue. I pulled her down to the living room floor and removed our clothes. I kissed, and nibbled on her firm ripe breasts. I suckled on one then the other.

“I can’t believe that I will have to share these with anyone. You realize that if it’s a boy you will ruin him for any other woman. I mean, once you have had a taste of these beauties, you do not want anyone else’s,” I said as I slurped and sucked.

I loved the way her flat little tummy clenched up when I kissed it, I could not resist sticking my tongue in her belly button, while I rolled her nipples between my thumb and forefinger. Her squeals of pleasure were my favorite sound. I loved this woman. I could smell her juices as they boiled and dripped inside her pussy. I wanted to taste my wife, to see how wet she was today. A slippery slickness greeted me as I pried her legs apart. Beth was really running hot today. She was writhing, trembling naked and spread before me. I kissed her pussylips and shouted into her wet cunt, “Come out come out wherever you are. I am your daddy, and I can’t wait to meet you!” Beth laughed, and we spent the rest of the night sucking, fucking, laughing, talking, and eating cold pizza.

We agreed to name our daughter Susan after Beth’s mother. Seven months later I had another blonde, beauty in my life. She was a happy baby.

Little Susie almost never cried, and slept through the night. Her first word was “Da, Da” which she repeated over and over when I came in the room. For two months that was the only thing she could say, the only thing she wanted to say. Susan learned to walk at an early age and followed me around the house demanding that I put her in my lap and hold her. There was no doubt about it, she was a Daddy’s Girl.

The pregnancy seemed to take something out of Beth though. Her energy level never really came back to normal. The doctor informed us that it would not be a good idea to have a second child. We were disappointed of course ... but we already had an angel — a gift from god. Neither of us felt cheated. Susan was enough. The doctor prescribed a vitamin/nutritional/medicinal therapy that seemed to help a little, and things settled down for a while. In just 4 years I had a baby, graduated from college, got a job, and we bought a house. I graduated with a 3.8 average in computer science, and was quickly hired by a small but growing Mail Order pharmaceutical company to handle phone and computer networking for the 5 CallCenters they had in our region. Beth was now the manager of her Sears store. We were able to purchase a 3 bedroom house on a two acre property from a retired couple looking to sell quickly. Life was just about as perfect as it could be. My wife was my best friend, and lover. I felt safe in her arms, I knew that nothing really bad could happen to us. We were blessed.

Susan had just started school when we got the news.

I came home from work and found Beth sitting on the couch. She looked tense and I offered to give her a massage.

She smiled at me and said, “John — I have to tell you something. I ... I’m sorry honey there is no easy way to say this — but Dr. Jones told me that I have Breast Cancer.”

My ears refused to hear the words, this had to be some kind of joke, or a horrible mistake. One look at my wife, bravely trying to keep back the tears and I knew — it was not a joke. My mind kicked into overdrive. We would fight this, beat it. We just needed a plan.

“My god honey, you must be so scared, but don’t worry we will get through this together. Has she talked to you about options? Chemotherapy? Lumpectomy, or Mastectomy. Beth ... some women who go through this worry about their husband’s reaction ... I want to make sure you know that I love you and I want the cancer out of you no matter what. You are the sexiest woman alive to me and that will never, never change,” I said as I pulled her into a tight bear hug.

“I knew you would be great about this ... but sweetie ... my cancer has already spread throughout several of my systems. John, this is what my mother died from. Dr. Jones ... she doesn’t think I am going to beat this. Basically I have a choice. I can go through numerous operations while they cut off a piece of me at a time, and spend my remaining days puking my guts out, bald and in pain. Or I can spend my remaining days with you, Susan and my dad. The doctor says I may have up to 2 years. I’ll take it John. I’ll take 2 years with you my love and I will be thankful for them. It’s more than most people get,” she said as she consoled me when the tears finally hit me.

I screamed and sobbed and put my head in her lap while she gently rocked me and told me it would be alright.

I am glad to say the doctors were wrong. My wife did not live 2 years. She lived 3. Beth clung to life with a tenacity and stubborness that mystified her doctors. She simply refused to succumb. Their tests all showed that her body was riddled with cancer by the end of the first year, but she would not die. The doctors were amazed but I was not. It was simple. Beth loved me, and Susie and she knew we were not strong enough to endure her death. So she refused to die. She willed herself to live.

She did her best to prepare us for the inevitable. She insisted on explaining what it meant, to Susan. They spent a lot of time together.

Shortly after she was diagnosed, Beth began to make a series of video tapes in private for me and my daughter. She spent a couple of hours each day it seemed — for months with the top of the line, very expensive camcorder that she purchased. It was very important to her. I slowly discovered why. She insisted that I play them to Susan as she grew up at various moments in her life. Some of it was practical. There were detailed directions on how to make our favorite meals, and cleaning tips. She covered what it was like to have a period, showed her how to put on a tampon, pick the right bra. Kiss a boy. Things to consider in a boyfriend, in a husband, driving tips, a demonstration of how to do a mammogram, and a promise to get yearly exams. Sexual techniques for when she was older. Memories and stories behind family photos, and relatives long forgotten. Some were labeled by the date they should be played (ex on Susan’s 16 birthday). Others by an event (Susan’s First period, wedding, birth of first child.) Many tapes were just for me.

She had one very special masturbation video. Six hours of my naked wet wife telling me how much she loved me, cumming over and over while she screamed my name. Beth spread her pussy wide, and had the camera zoom in, while she played with her full breasts, and long, pink nipples.

“Fuck me John, I love you, I need your thick cock inside of me. I belong to you forever. Please baby, FUCK ME!”

Spread pussy, sweet ass wide open, begging for her husband’s cock.

Standing, sitting, kneeling, on her stomach, on her back, with her legs in the air, on all fours — helpless lust, complete loving slut abandon.

Six hours just for me.

Each tape was in its own envelope and had a prominent seal affixed to it. These tapes were precious to me and my daughter. We were able to keep Beth alive in our hearts. She wanted to be with us, and to this very day, she still is. I don’t believe in god any more. But ... welll for lack of a better phrase, “God bless my wife for making those tapes for us.” There were 21 6 hour tapes in all. Beth said this way she would be able to help take care of us even after she was gone.

For three long years she struggled, suffered and endured the pain. Then she died.

I remember when my daughter turned 8.

But we did not celebrate her birthday, instead we buried her mother. It was a cold, gray day. It was almost as if god was ashamed to show his face; as if he turned the sun off in guilt at what he had done. The same phrase kept echoing in my head, “Your wife is deadddd, deaddd, she’s dead!!”. All I wanted to do was howl. To shriek her name. I just wanted to turn my brain off for a little while and go insane. But I could not allow myself that comfort. I had a daughter who was hurting too. She needed me. When we finally got home that afternoon I went to my room to cry in private, and compose myself. After about 20 minutes I came out to find Susie cleaning the kitchen.

“What are you doing honey, you don’t have to do that,” I protested.

“It’s ok daddy, now that mummy is gone I’m the woman of the house. It’s my job to take care of you. Mummy taught me how and she said I could be a big girl and help you. Please daddy let me take care of you?”

“OK Baby, how about we do it together,” I said as we worked, and talked and finally laughed together. That night when I got Susie ready for bed, and was about to leave she said “we almost forgot to say prayers. I’ll do it. Dear god, I love daddy, and mummy, and grandpa. I promise that I will take care of my daddy and be a good girl and marry him when I’m old enough. Say hi to mummy, and baby Jesus. Amen. Daddy, when will I be old enough to marry you?” Susie asked in sweet, sleepy voice.

“Well I don’t know honey. I guess you will be a woman when you’re 18 so you can marry whoever you want. By then you won’t want to marry your wrinkly old father; you’ll have some young stud who will have swept you off your feet,” I laughed as I touseled her hair.

My 8 yr old daughter looked me straight in the eye and said in a cold tone,” I will SO marry you. I will never love anyone else. You’ll see. When I’m 18 I’ll be your wife, I swear to god and hope to die.” I turned out the light and left her room without a word. As I got into my cold empty bed, I could not help but think of another stubborn, blonde 8 yr old who had informed me that we would be married 20 years ago. But that was different. I had just closed my eyes when there was a knock at my bedroom door.

“Daddy, I can’t sleep. I miss mummy. Can I snuggle with you?” It had been a horrible birthday for Susie. It made sense that she would want a little extra comfort tonight. Heck neither of us really wanted to be alone that night.

“Sure honey, climb in,” I said as I pulled the covers back. Susie slid in next to me and gave me a kiss goodnight. She then pressed her little warm butt into me and trapped my arm with hers.

Susie gave a contented sigh and said, “Now I can sleep. It’s all warm and toasty. I love you daddy.” She snuggled and wiggled against me making herself comfortable.

I held my daughter tight, as I thought of my wife and slowly we drifted to sleep.

I remember when my Susie turned fourteen, check that SusAN.

She came into my room to wake me up on her birthday morning. “Daddy get up. You promised you would take me shopping. Dad! Wake up ... ok you asked for it,” she said as she sat on my stomach and began tickling me awake.

Well, I certainly wasn’t going to put up with that; two can play that game. Soon I had her pinned beneath me, and was running my hands all over her body making her squeal, and gasp and laugh. I guess it was a combination of factors: the fact that I had not had sex in over six years, maybe it was wrestling with a beautiful young woman first thing in the morning — but I felt myself get hard. My cock was pressing into Susan’s body. She was pinned beneath me and as I ran my hands over her chest to tickle her I noticed that she had breasts. I don’t know where they came from, or when they arrived but there they were. Her nips were sticking out through my old shirt that she slept in. I felt moisture on my leg, and I reached down and discovered Susan did not have any underwear on. Her pussy was wet and dripping. I accidentally rubbed her lips and my finger slipped inside her for just a second. The walls of her vagina clamped down on me and she squeezed her legs tight to hold me there. My daughter was aroused!

Susan and I looked at each other for a moment and then she began to kiss me. It was light and slow at first, but then something happened. We both lost control. I started sucking and licking her face and lips and tongue. I found her clit and rubbed it softly. Susan was moaning and sucking my neck hard. Then she spoke.

“Oh daddy, this feels so good. It’s the best birthday present ever. I am ready daddy. I am ready to be your wife. Teach me how to fuck. Teach me what you like and I’ll do it,” she said as she played with my hard cock through my briefs.

That brought me back to reality. What kind of sick freak was I. I had almost raped my daughter. I still wanted to.

“Honey, stop. Susan, let go of daddy’s dick. We need to talk. You didn’t do anything wrong, but I did. I’m sorry baby. I just started thinking of you as a woman instead of as my girl. It’s been so long ... it’s no excuse but for a second I thought you were your mom. I’m your dad, and I will always love you but not like that.”

My daughter did not say anything. She just tucked her head and cried. I of course felt like a total shit. I put my arm around her and held her in a fatherly embrace.

“You, you don’t want me. I’m not big enough yet. I know you said we would have to wait until I was 18 but I thought, I hoped, muh, muh, maybe you had changed your mind. I thought you wanted me I thought you loved me,” she sniffled.

“Oh Susan, of course I love you. God help me, I even want you sexually. But it is wrong. We just made a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t look so gloomy. It’s your birthday. We have lots of shopping to do. I know one thing you need that I had not thought of — a bra, and some real pajamas. Now hurry up and get dressed and we’ll see if we can’t burn out your old dad’s credit card,” I said as I hugged her tight and kissed her on top of her head.

When we got to the lingerie section at Sears (they still give me a discount) I asked if she wanted to go in alone.

“No dad I don’t know what size to get, and I need help putting it on.” I looked around for a female sales clerk ... but it was Sears so of course I could not find one. So we looked at several. We finally narrowed it down to five.

“Which one do you like dad. What looks sexy to you,” Susan asked. A woman and her daughter overheard her and gave me a look like I was a pervert or something.

“I guess you will need some practical, boring ones; and a few lacey frilly ones for when you want to feel pretty. Hmm how about trying these on. Yeah ... that should look real good on you,” I said as I handed her one of each along with a matching set of panties.

We walked back to the dressing room and closed the door. She blushed slightly as she took off her shirt, and I looked at her tangerine sized breasts for the first time. My god they were beautiful. Firm round, and capped with long nipples. Susan stared at my crotch. I could not help it, my dick started to grow. She saw that and smiled, as if to say “so you DO think I’m pretty”.

What she said though was, “Come on dad help me figure out how to put this thing on”.

It took some time and a lot of fumbling but we finally figured it out. I was not prepared for it when Susan dropped her jeans to the floor and quickly removed her plain cotton shorts.

“I want to try on my new underwear too.” Susan was standing before me wearing a purple lace bra — and nothing else. I had a rock hard on, and she knew it. She paraded around the small dressing room, half naked. Posing and looking at her bra in the mirror all the while flashing her tender young ass and sweet pussy at me. Susan lifted and cupped each breast.

Then she asked me, “Daddy I want to make sure this bra is not too big. Feel me. Do you think it feels right. Is it too loose?” I pulled on the bra and put my hand inside to make sure there was enough room between her tiny breasts and the bra material. I remembered that Susan had long nipples and I was concerned the bra might be uncomfortable when she became aroused. I decided to test it by lightly brushing her nipples through the sheer lace. My daughter looked up at me while I did this and I could almost smell the sex in the air. She slowly licked her lips and moved closer to me.

“How does that feel honey. Is it too tight?”

“Mmm that feels wonderful, dad,” she said as she hugged me and nestled her crotch into my erection; “Thanks for doing this dad. I feel like a real woman today. Mom told me that getting my first bra would be an important day. Thanks for making me feel so special. I guess I should try on the panties now ... do you want to um, help?” she said shyly, hopefully.