© Copyright 2000
(Revised 2002)

Dear Diary:

Some months ago, my friend Rachel played some mind games with me, getting me all hot about her cousins Brenda and Josie. And then bringing me over to join them in a mini orgy. Since then I've opened up for her (in more ways than one). And, as is her practice with me, I've taped our conversation and recorded it here and only here, in MY diary. If should YOU find this, please, read no further than the next paragraph.

Really, don't read it, any of it. Just mail it to me c/o Lisa Kronowitz, 453 West Travers St. Windom, Wisconsin. And I'll send you a reward. It will more than cover the postage and with enough left over to take a friend to dinner, okay? Please?

Thank you

Lisa Kronowitz

A Friday in August 1999, it is almost 9 PM.

Scratching sounds, a short hiss... and...

R: Really? My sister has two Labs, one red, one black.

L: That's a wonderful breed. Does she live near the water?

R: Yes, as a matter of fact, she lives in the Chesapeake Bay area. She takes them down to the wetlands almost every day for long walks.

L: How old are they?

R: I'm not sure. The black, Victor, might be three. Vivian, the red, I don't know, but would guess at least a year and a half.

L: Are they fixed? I mean a male and female... ?

R: Hey, I only visit them once a year. (Laughing) I don't know. It seems the practical thing... ya know? But, who knows for sure?

But tell me more about this Dachshund of yours?

L: He's adorable!

R: That's it? How did you acquire him? How big is he? What coloring does he have? Come on tell me about him. Make me want to run on over there and see him.

L: (Laughing) okay, okay. This old lady who lived in the apartment above me passed away two weeks ago. I mean she was decomposing, ugh! In the place when she was discovered.

R: My god! How long... ?

L: Maybe five days. The super got nosy thank goodness and checked on her. Well, actually her relatives had been calling her and contacted him. Anyway, poor Bootsie was almost dead from dehydration. I had gone upstairs to see what all the excitement was about and grabbed him from a policeman and raced him to a vet I knew of a block away. He saved him, thank God, and when I was able to bring him home a week later, the old ladies relatives had come and gone. So I adopted Bootsie.

R: Gawd, you're something Lisa. I don't know if I'd have acted that fast, Gawd.

L: You do what you have to do in times like that.

R: Whew! So now you've got him, lock stock and barrel?

L: I wonder if the relatives knew or cared about him. Have you ever had a dog?

R: When I was a kid, we had a Collie. Just like Lassie. A car hit her I was crushed. No more dogs for our family.

L: That's too bad. They're wonderful to have around. A great cure for the blues, ya know?

R: I guess, but with my schedule and all, it wouldn't be fair to the animal... so I don't, understand?

L: Sure. (Giggling)

R: What?

L: Bootsie's sitting by my feet, right now, keeping my feet nice and warm.

R: Does he sleep in your bed?

L: (Pause) Well... sometimes, but not too often, he sheds and I can't stand that. On those days I'm going to change the sheets, I give him a break.

R: Lisa? Does he hump your leg?

L: Get out!

R: Come on, does he?

L: I think all males will on occasion.

R: Hmmmm, and horny old you...

L: Rachel! Cut it out!

R: Ewww! So defensive!

L: Not!

R: Are too!

L: Oh Rachel... can I confide in you? I mean really truly tell ya something that you won't tell another living soul?

R: Absolutely. Now tell me. Tell me.

L: Well, I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable in my new job and all, what with having visited everyone in my territory and not having anything go wrong.

R: Ummm.

L: In fact my boss told me she was pleased with what she'd seen thus far and to keep up the good work.

R: So?

L: Anyhow, last week I got my period, thank God it was on Saturday, cause it was a rough one. Cramp-wise, that is. I'm sorry if I'm taking forever to get to the point but...

R: It's okay, take your time. But hold on a sec, will you? I've gotta pee.

L: Go ahead, wipe it dry baby!

(Both laugh lewdly)

Pause

R: I'm back! Whew, really had to go.

L: You know you're my best friend... it's important that I tell you that and you believe me... that I'm sincere and all. I'm only gonna tell you this because you told me all about Josie and Brenda.

R: Gawd that was some afternoon wasn't it?

L: If I recall we started in the evening and ended the next afternoon.

R: Oh... yeah. They were special weren't they?

L: I still can't believe how Josie... well, anyway, I never thought I could have this sort of friendship with a woman before I met you. I mean where sex is such--I dunno what the word is--err, yeah, a big part of it, but I'm amazed at how important it's become to me.

R: I feel pretty much the same about you too darling.

L: Darling? That's the first time you've called me that.

R: I've called you lots of things Lisa.

L: In the heat of the moment perhaps, but never over the phone.

I'm so happy you did. It will make this easier to tell.

R: Go girl!

L: The other morning I woke up early, early, around 5:30 and the sun was just coming up and casting these long shadows along my window.

R: Oh, I like this, you're so graphic, I think I'll close my eyes and try to see what you're telling me.

L: I was thinking of you and started to touch myself...

R: Ahhhh, just a sec, I want to open my jeans a bit and get comfortable.

L: Ummmm, do that. Like I was saying, I like to take my ring finger and ever so lightly, touch the edge of my pussy along the lips where the hair ends teasing it so...

R: Ummmmm, yes. I'm with you Lisa.

L: Shut up and let me concentrate. There is the faintest hint of moistness there as I touch it ever so lightly, just as your tongue would. I'm on my hands and knees kneeling on the bed and looking into the mirror watching as my lips swell under the caress and thoughts of you licking me there fill my brain.

R: Ugh, ugh, ohhhh! Oh, love. You've got my breath coming so hard.

I know exactly what you mean. That lazy sort of time in the morning is really special. You can let anything come into your mind... and it's still got that dreamy quality from the night. Things you imagine can almost feel real.

L: Yes, exactly! And ever since Kevin dumped me for that slut Maura...

R: Oh, don't let that bastard get to ya Lisa.

L: Ah, I gotta admit it, he was boinking her same as me and even sticking it in his wife every couple weeks during their separation. Probably still after the divorces. Anyway... where were we? Oh, yeah! Finger-poppin' time... hey! Do you like to masturbate as often as me?

R: Jeez, Lisa, that's hard to say. How often is that?

(Laughter)

L: Well, I'll tell you - I really do like to "masturbate" but only every few days. To tell you the truth, now this might sound funny or weird,

But I prefer to keep a kind of a "low grade rush" going for a long, long time - and not let it reach, ya know, climax time. It's what I like, cause it's always so much more intense when I finally come.

How 'bout you Rach? How often do you masturbate?

R: You know Lisa, I think you're going off course here. We were talking about you and your fingers remember?

L: Uh huh.