Chapter 4

Out of practice comes discipline. Only through discipline can one practice. I had learned the secret of my erection's effect, but learning to control it proved as dangerous as letting heated desires run amok.

I mentioned that mother had kept silent since the evening everything fell apart. She answered quietly and succinctly when asked specific questions like 'Where are my socks', but she ignored everything else. I think she might have even talked with a shrink. I found a phone number for a Dr. Shigswon on the phone pad, but the number had been crossed out.

Two days after I visited the little old lady, I made a fateful decision. I would fight two demons with the same magic, my demon and my mother's. It reality they were the same demon, and its first victim had been my mother. Drastic measures must be taken. Guilt over this bothered me to the point where I didn't have an erection for three days. I missed an entire day of school worrying over my plan and praying I didn't hurt her.

Nearly two weeks after driving my mother to sexually assault her children, I sought her out and confronted her. I think Rodney was out of the house confronting his own demons. He hadn't spoken much either.

"Mother, please sit with me and listen to something I have to tell you." My heart thrummed like a locomotive clawing its way across the Rocky Mountains.

She tried to walk around me, her head faced the carpet. "Not right now, okay honey?"

"No, it's not okay. We have to talk." Seeing my once proud and feisty mother shy away from me like I were a villain, shamed me. Of course, she was thinking the villain was her.

"Sit down mother." I took her arm and slightly tugged her towards the couch.

She suddenly nodded and actually looked me in the eye. "I guess you're right. Thanks." She attempted a smile. She turned and headed for the far cushion.

Her subordination to my command was an incredible turn on, but I had prepared well. In my left hand I cradled a thorny thistle pod. I clenched it and clenched my teeth in response. My cock demurred to the sudden distraction of pain, barely. I sat on the couch cushion farthest from my mother.

"Honey?" Mom tilted her head at my pained expression.

"This is going to sound..." I began, stalled, gulped, and proceeded. "This is going to sound like total horseshit, but before you get up and walk away, I'm going to prove to you that neither you nor I are crazy.

The word stung her. I could see in her eyes that she wanted immediately to rebuke my choice of words, but her own need to find something she could grasp after two weeks of indistinct nightmares paused her.

"Do you remember when I fell ill, and I was hallucinating?"

"Yes? I remember."

"During my lapses of consciousness, I dreamed of you. You kept by my side so much you walked into my dreams. You seemed prepared for everything that happened. Before I felt chill you had already filled the hot water bottle. Before I began to burn you had refreshed the ice pack. These things you did, because you know me better than I know myself."

"Julius, you aren't the first son I've raised." Mother's eyebrows lifted.

"Yes, but you are highly attuned to me. I believe you can share my feelings when they are strong enough." What I was telling my mom probably was total horseshit, but I had to break the news to her in a way she wouldn't object outright.

"Wh-what are you talking about, son?" It appeared my personal Missouri-ism had roots.

"I'm talking about sex, mother."

She froze like a stone.

"I'm trying to tell you it wasn't your fault. It was mine."

"No, I was..."

"I'm going to prove it to you. Right here. Right now." I let my grip relax, and the slightly bloody thistle fell to the floor. I looked into my mother's eyes. They were grayer than the blue I had always attributed to them. They were beautiful.

"Can you feel this?" I let myself relax and looked deep. My half hard cock jerked. I thought about her lips, how full they were. I thought of them trembling. I thought of her tongue glistening with slick spittle. "Mother can you feel your mouth come alive?"

She caught her breath.

I imagined her mouth moving closer to the turgid flesh within my trousers. I imagined drool, just a drop, leaking out as she unzipped me with her teeth. I could see her mouth, full like a tulip, embracing my humble stone that prayed upon its pillar.

Her tongue pushed out and licked her lips. Mother's pupils turned to pinpoints.

"Tell me, mother. Tell me." I urged her.

"No, th-this can't be happening." She had to use her mouth to speak.

Her fingers reached for her face.

"Suck on your fingers mother."

Her expression drained all color from her face. Her hands reached inside her mouth and lips, like two snakes, closed down upon them. Clear drops seeped out from between her fingers. She closed her eyes and hummed.

"What does it feel like?" I asked her. My cock pressed expansively within my shorts. "Tell me."

"Mmbbllmm. Gu-goood." A tear crept out of her left eye. She gulped down liquid pouring into her mouth from its overstimulated glands.

The part I feared worse than death neared. Could I dare to do it?

I love my mother. She was the one source of my soul and life. The missing father in my past held nothing for me. Here I was, openly triggering my mom's sexual responses and focusing their energies, but to complete the cycle, I had to reach my own satisfaction. All of my mother's beauty and powerful spirit were toys in the fingers of my sexual potency.