Chapter 5: Family Relationships

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

-- "Iris", by the GooGoo Dolls

Fumiki Yoshida was in a good mood. She had stopped by the store her mother worked at on the way home, and her mother had agreed to allow her to go to the 'slumber party' that Noriko and Bethany were giving. She was also in a hurry; the caffei1ne from the soft drink she'd drunk had gone straight to her bladder, and she needed the bathroom.

Which is why she failed to knock on the bathroom door, and why she burst in on her thirteen-year-old sister, who had forgotten to lock the door.

Her jaw dropped, as she took in the picture in front of her. Her sister was sitting on the toilet, legs spread, fingering herself with her right hand. Her left hand was holding a magazine that Fumiki recognized instantly; it was one of her brother's dirty comics which featured tentacled monsters prominently.

Kita slammed her legs together, trying to hide the magazine behind her. "Don't you knock?" she yelled, face red.

Fumiki gave an odd little hop. "Not when I have to piss this bad! Move!" She walked quickly across the room, legs close together. "Hurry!"

"Fine." Kita stood up, edging past her in the narrow space.

Fumiki stared after her sister thoughtfully, sighing in relief as the pressure on her bladder eased. Making up her mind, she stood and walked into her sister's room, closing the door after her.

"What do you want?" her sister snapped, her face still slightly pink.

Fumiki sat down on her sister's bed, looking at her. "So you like those magazines?"

Kita turned bright red. "It's none of your business."

"I'm not teasing you, sis. I like them too."

"I am not having this conversation with you."

"So, are you still a virgin?"

"Dammit, Fumiki, that's none of your business."

Fumiki looked at her sister. "Sorry, Kita. It's just --" She stopped. "How can I say this. Sis, will you answer me two questions, honestly?"

Fumiki could tell from her expression that Kita wondered what had gotten into her sister. "That depends. What do you want to know, and why?"

"I can't tell you why. Not yet. I promise I'm not going to tease you about it, or anything like that. My first question is, did the tentacles turn you on?"

Kita nodded, red to the tips of her ears.

"My second question is, would you like to actually get to play with tentacles, if it was possible?"

Kita hesitated. "I don't know. It looks really hot, but... I don't want to get hurt."

"And if you wouldn't get hurt?"

Kita said, slowly, "If I wouldn't get hurt, or pregnant, or catch anything, I guess so."

Fumiki stopped. "Um. I hadn't thought of the pregnant thing." She stood up. "Be right back. I have to make a phone call."

"Who are you calling?"

"A couple of friends. I'm going over to their place for a slumber party. I'm going to see if you can come. I think you'd like it."

Kita looked at her sister suspiciously. "You aren't going to tell them what I said, are you?"

"Well... yes."

"Dammit, Fumiki!"

"Wait! Give me a second, sis! Look. They won't make fun of you, or think you are perverted or anything, ok? I promise. I can't tell you why yet, because I don't have permission to talk to you about it. That's one of the things I have to do."

Her sister turned over, facing away. "If Mom and Dad find out, I'll kill you."

"They won't. I promise. I'll be right back." Fumiki hurried to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Noriko? It's Fumiki."

"Hi! What did your parents say?"

"They said yes! I'm really looking forward to it. But I need to ask you something. Can I bring someone with me?"

Noriko's voice was hesitant. "I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean..."

"Listen, let me explain, and you can decide."

"Ok..." Noriko's skepticism was obvious, but as Fumiki went through the tale, she came around. "Ok. But make her swear the oath before you tell her."

"Right. She did bring up one question, though. The demon can't get us pregnant, can he?"

"I never thought of that. Hold on." There was a pause. "He says not under ordinary circumstances. Apparently doing so takes some sustained effort on both parts."

"Good. Mom and Dad would kill me if I got pregnant."

"Yeah." Noriko giggled. "And can you imagine telling them the father wasn't human?"

"No. And I'm not going to try either. Ok, look. I gotta go explain to my sister -- she was pissed that I was going to tell someone."

"Ok. We'll pick you up at five tomorrow."

Fumiki walked back into her sister's room, making sure the door closed behind her. She turned on the radio, turning it up, then sat down on the bed. Leaning over, she said, "Ok, I can tell you now. If you want, I can make your fantasy come true."

Kita looked at her. "Fantasy?"

Fumiki nodded. "The one about the tentacles."

"It's not exactly a fantasy. Just something I think about when, you know." She sighed, annoyed. "What are you, some kind of pervert? I mean, it's not exactly normal for a girl to try to get her little sister laid. What have you got, kinky friends who like to dress up like they have tentacles?"

"No, not at all. Look. I've been invited to a slumber party tomorrow night, and I just asked if you could come too. You are welcome to, and I think you'll enjoy it. You don't have to if you don't want. If you come, you'll have the chance to get thoroughly fucked." It suddenly occured to Fumiki that it might be her sister's first time. "Are you a virgin?"

Kita looked at her sister warily. "Since you seem to be so determined to find out, yes. A couple of the boys tried to get me to let them fuck me, but I really didn't like them that much. I mean, I'd like to do it, but I really don't want a reputation as a slut, and I didn't trust them not to talk."

Fumiki looked down at the floor for a long time, remembering the pain, the terror, the feel of rough hands pulling her skirt up, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "My first time wasn't very good. I didn't really get a choice. I want to make sure you enjoy your first time, sis. If you'll trust me, I'll make sure you have a good first time -- I think they are inventive enough that they'll know what to do. But would you freak out if they actually had a demon with tentacles?"

"No, not if it was nice." Kita laughed. "That sounds weird, but you know what I mean. But I'm not sure if I want to lose my virginity to a girl, you know?"

"You won't be, trust me on that."

"Hmm. You promise that nobody will know?"

"Promise."

Kita thought about it. "And I can change my mind and say stop whenever I want?"

"Promise."

"Well... ok."

"No, I don't want to talk you into it. I want you to do it because you want to."

"I want to, I'm just... nervous." Kita played with a bit of her hair. "Um, I wouldn't mind having girls involved, but I want to actually, you know, actually lose it to a, um, penis." She blushed.

"They'd love to make love to you, sis, I can tell you that. And it'll be a penis. Sort of."

"Sort of?" Kita looked up at her sister curiously.

"Look, will you promise to at least give me the benefit of the doubt until you see?"

"I guess so."

"They do have a demon. With tentacles."

Kita raised an eyebrow. "Ohhhhh-kay." She drew the word out. "If you say so."

"I say so."

Kita chewed on her lip nervously, trying to figure out how to ask her question. "Sis?"

"What?"

"Um, were you planning on being involved?"

Fumiki looked away from her sister, so that Kita couldn't see her expression. "In you losing your virginity?"

"Yeah," Kita said, quietly.

"Would that bother you?"

"I don't know."

Fumiki felt for her sister's hand and gave it a squeeze, still looking away. "If it bothers you, then no, I won't be. I'll just watch." She hesitated as she realized that even that much might bother her sister. "Is that ok?"

"I guess so." They were silent for several minutes, until finally Kita broke the silence.

"Fumiki?"

"Yes, sis?"

"What if it wouldn't bother me?"

Fumiki didn't answer.

"Sis?"

Fumiki didn't look at her sister. "I don't know."

Kita pushed herself up right, moving so that she could see her sister. "Look at me." When her sister still wouldn't meet her gaze, she sighed. "You do know, don't you?"

Slowly, Fumiki nodded. "Yeah," she whispered. "I do."

"Fumiki Yoshida, are you saying that you want to make love to me?"

Fumiki swallowed. "Yeah. I'm sorry. It's just... you're so pretty. I look at you, and I can't help thinking how much I want to hold you, to kiss you. I didn't want you to know."

Kita sighed. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't want you to think I was sick."

"Why do you think I would think you are sick?"

"Because it's not normal to want to have sex with your little sister, that's why!" Fumiki said defensively.

"So you think you are sick, then?"

"Yes -- no -- oh, I don't know." Fumiki wailed. "I just -- I don't think I can stand seeing you look at me and seeing the disgust on your face." She closed her eyes. "You are supposed to love your sister, but it's not normal to be in love with her. I'm sorry, Kita. I didn't want you to know."

"Look at me," Kita said. "Look at me!"

Fumiki raised her eyes. "What?"

"Do I look disgusted to you?"

Fumiki searched her sister's face intently, looking for disgust or revulsion. Her expression grew steadily more puzzled as she failed to find it. "No, but... don't you think I'm sick?"

Kita shook her head. "No, I don't. I think it's flattering, sis. I mean, look. I've hardly got any tits at all, and you still think I'm sexy. That really makes me feel special, you know?" She blushed a little. "I've got to say it's kind of weird having your sister tell you she's in love with you... but it's kind of nice, too."

Fumiki's chin quivered, but the corners of her mouth pulled up in a smile. "You don't mind?"

Her sister looked at her as if she'd sprouted another head. "Mind? Why would I mind?"

"Well, I mean, um," Fumiki started.

Kita sighed, and looked at her sister. "Listen to me. No, I don't mind. It doesn't bother me. It freaks me out a little, but that's kinda in a good way, okay? I mean, I don't think I can say I'm in love with you like you are me, but I've never thought about it. So stop being so weirded out about it, ok?"

"Uh... ok," Fumiki said, a little stunned.

"I mean it!" Kita's eyes flashed dangerously. "If it doesn't weird me out, why should it weird you out?"

"I guess it shouldn't."

"Good."

They sat there in a slightly strained silence for a while.

"Kita?"

"What?"

"It really doesn't bother you?"

"No."

"Thanks."

Kita squeezed her sister's hand. "You're welcome."

Kita lay on her bed in the dark, unable to sleep. Her sister's revelation that afternoon had shocked her to the core. That wasn't what was keeping her up, however; she had been truthful when she said it didn't bother her.

The problem was the fact that it didn't bother her. She couldn't help feeling that it should have, and her head was spinning as she tried to figure out if there was something wrong with her. Shouldn't she have been utterly disgusted? Her sister had confessed to having incestuous, lesbian desires for her, and she had been flattered by it. What was wrong with her?

She lay there wrestling with the question for several hours, finally throwing the covers off in a frustrated motion. "Fine."

Wearing an over-sized sleep shirt, she made her way down the hall, the material brushing the middle of her thighs. Her black hair shadowed her face in the light streaming in from the city outside the windows of the apartment. Reaching her sister's door, she stopped, debating with herself a final time, before her hand reached for the doorknob.

Fumiki hadn't slept well either; while she'd been telling the truth when she said she hadn't wanted her sister to know, it actually went beyond that. Before her sister had asked her, point blank, if Fumiki wanted to sleep with her, she hadn't really admitted to herself that that was the case. She'd been able to make excuses to herself -- of course she loved her sister; that's what sisters do. She wasn't actually checking out her sister's body, she was just noticing how she was changing as she entered puberty.

Now all of those excuses were gone, blown out of the water by three simple words. /Yes, I do./ She couldn't deny it any longer; she was in love with her sister, and it wasn't a sisterly love, either.

She still couldn't bring herself to quite believe that her sister was as okay with things as she seemed; she couldn't understand how she could take her declaration so evenly.

Her mind kept racing, imagining scenarios -- her sister saying she never wanted to see her again, denouncing her to her friends, her parents throwing her out of the house. Finally, after hours, her eyes fell closed, and she dreamed of her sister, drifting between nightmare and erotic dream.

Her fitful sleep was interrupted by the sound of the doorknob turning, and as her eyes opened she wondered briefly if she was still dreaming. She could see her sister's silhouette standing in the doorway, and her breath quickened involuntarily as she saw the gentle swell of her budding breasts.

She waited for her sister to enter, but Kita just stood there, looking at her. Finally, wondering what was going on, she spoke. "Kita? Are you ok?"

Her sister stepped into the room, closing the door behind her and throwing the room into pitch-blackness. "No."

Fumiki paused, fighting for control, and her voice barely quivered as she asked, "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you, sis."

Fumiki could hear her sister moving towards her, and then felt the mattress move as her sister crawled in bed with her.

"What's wrong?"

In the dark, she was forced to try to judge her sister's state from the sound of her voice. "Just -- just hold me for a little while, please?"

Not understanding, but wanting to make her sister feel better, Fumiki wrapped her arms around Kita as she laid her head on Fumiki's chest. They lay like that for a long time; it felt so right to have her sister in her arms that Fumiki ached.

She was almost asleep when Kita finally spoke again. "Did you really mean it, Fumiki? About loving me?"

Fumiki nodded, then realized that her sister couldn't see the movement in the dark. "Yes, I did. Maybe it's wrong, but I can't help it."

She felt Kita moving, pulling out of her arms and sitting up. Biting back a sob, she resisted the urge to reach out for her.

"I meant it when I said I didn't know if I loved you the same way, Fumiki."

Fumiki felt hot tears trickling down her cheeks. "I know, sis. I can't expect you to."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's ok."

Kita continued as if she hadn't heard. "I really don't think I do. But I think... I think I'd like to."

Fumiki's breath caught in her throat, and she wondered if she'd heard what she thought she had.

"I like you, and I love you as a sister. I trust you not to hurt me. I think... you don't have to be in love with someone to start dating them, or even sleeping with them." Fumiki heard her sister chuckle. "I certainly wasn't in love with either of the guys I thought about losing my virginity to -- I was just horny." She sighed. "Sis, I think I'd like you to help me lose my virginity tomorrow. I think you'd try to make it good for me."

"I would," Fumiki said, very quietly.

"And... if you were to ask me out on a date, I wouldn't turn you down."

Fumiki lay motionless, a thrill shooting through her body. "You wouldn't?"

"No. I'm not promising I'll fall in love with you, sis. But I wouldn't turn down a date from a guy just because I wasn't in love with him. So, yeah, you can ask me out. But you've got to treat me right. You've gotta be romantic, ok? Treat me like you'd want a guy to treat you, actually take me out on dates." She paused. "We've just got to be careful."

"Mom and Dad?"

"Yeah. I don't even want to think about what would happen if they knew."

"Yeah." Fumiki was silent for a few moments. "They'd lose it."

"Yeah."

"Kita? Thanks. I'll make sure your first time is really, really special. I promise."

"I know." Kita paused for a long moment, then asked hesitantly, "Sis?"

"What?"

"Would you like to be my first for something else?"

"I'd love to." Fumiki didn't bother to ask what.

"I've never kissed someone before. Well, I mean, not a real kiss."

Fumiki's breath was coming faster. "You mean, you want me to be your first kiss?"

Kita felt suddenly shy. "Um, yeah."

Fumiki reached up, gently tugging her sister down next to her. Turning her head, she could feel Kita trembling. Stroking her cheek tenderly, she very gently brushed her lips across soft, moist lips.

The feather-light touch of Fumiki's lips sent a shock throughout Kita's body, and her lips parted instinctively, her breath coming faster as she reacted to the feel of warm lips upon her own. She could feel her nipples begin to harden, and reached up, placing her hand on the back of her Fumiki's neck. The faint scent of her sister's shampoo drifted up as her hand stirred the hair.

Fumiki's breath quickened as she felt Kita begin to return her kiss. Her entire body tingled as she felt Kita's tongue slip between her lips. Closing her eyes in the darkness, she gave herself over to the kiss as her sister pulled her closer.

Kita felt a tingle begin to grow between her legs as the kiss moved from tentative to passionate, the touches of Fumiki's tongue upon hers feeling like electrical shocks. Instinctively, she pressed herself against the warm curves in her arms, and she could feel the hard points of Fumiki's nipples against her breasts.

Fumiki whimpered a little at the feel of erect nipples pressed tightly against hers, and almost without conscious volition her hand slid down Kita's back, over her the curve of her ass, to trail along one thigh.

Kita automatically spread her legs, lost in the kiss, wanting more, wanting her sister's hand between her legs. She ground her mouth into Fumiki's, feeling their teeth grate together, wordlessly demanding more.

Fumiki began to slip her hand up between her sister's legs, but the feel of Kita's wetness was just enough of a shock to bring her back to reality. Removing her hand was perhaps the hardest thing she'd done in her entire life, and when her sister whimpered in protest, resisting the urge to return it to her cunt was almost irresistible. Bringing both hands up, she held her sister's face tenderly, slowly reducing the intensity of the kiss, trailing off into a line of kisses along Kita's jaw.

"Was that what you wanted?"

Kita didn't answer at first. As the wait lengthened, Fumiki felt her stomach tighten in fear. The first word out of her sister's mouth didn't relieve the fear at all.

"No."

Fumiki's breath caught in her throat, and she turned her head away, feeling as if a lead weight had been dropped on her chest.

Kita reached out and caressed Fumiki's jaw, turning her head to place a tender kiss on her sister's lips. "It was better than I ever imagined. Thank you, Fumiki. That was wonderful. I didn't want you to stop."

"I didn't want to stop." Fumiki's voice was husky with desire. "But I want your first time to be special, and this isn't the right time or place. And if we'd kept going, I couldn't have stopped."

Kita nuzzled her head into her sister's shoulder, her arms still around Fumiki's neck. "That's so sweet, sis. Thanks."

Fumiki slid her arms around Kita's waist. "You're welcome, sis. I love you."

Kita just made a small, contented sound, and they fell asleep together, the younger girl using her sister as her pillow.

Kita jolted awake, hearing her mother's voice calling for her in the hallway.

"Kita? Where are you, dear?"

"Oh shit," she whispered, shaking her sister. "Wake up! Mom's looking for me."

"Oh fuck." The blood drained out of Fumiki's face. "We're dead."

Thinking quickly, Kita shook her head. "Uh-uh. I had a nightmare last night and crawled in bed with you, got it?"

"Right." Some of the color returned to Fumiki's face, and she managed a small grin. "More like a dream than a nightmare, from my viewpoint."

"Yeah. We need to talk about that, sis." Seeing the look on her sister's face, Kita hurried on. "Nothing bad. But we don't have time right now." She slipped out of bed just as her mother opened the door.

"Fumiki, have you seen -- oh. There you are, Kita. I was worried when I couldn't find you."

Kita blushed involuntarily. "Sorry, mom. I had a really bad nightmare last night, so I crawled in bed with Fumiki."

"Oh." Her mother didn't know what to make of that statement, so she simply said, "Breakfast is ready."

"Thanks."

Fumiki sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed. "Oh, mom, Bethany and Noriko invited Kita to come to the slumber party tonight, if it's ok with you."

Her mother thought about it. "I don't see why not. It's nice seeing the two of you doing things together for a change." She walked out the door, never noticing the expressions on her daughters' faces at her last statement.

Fumiki looked around the kitchen, making sure that no one was near enough to overhear her conversation, before punching in Noriko's number. It rang several times before a sleepy voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, Noriko?"

"No, this is Bethany." There was an audible yawn. "Fumiki? Is that you?"

"Um, yeah, it is. I'm sorry, did I wake you up? I didn't mean to, I was just up and I didn't think you might still be asleep..." Fumiki's voice trailed off nervously.

"'S ok. Are you all right? You sound odd."

"I'm great. Wonderful, in fact. But, um, I need some help."

"What do you need?" Bethany asked, curious.

"Well," Fumiki paused, looking around, "See, thing is, I'm bringing Kita tonight, right?"

"Kita? Oh, your sister. Yeah, Noriko mentioned something like that. What about it?"

"Well, she's, um, a virgin."

"Fumiki, are you sure she should be coming tonight, then?"

"Oh yeah." Fumiki nodded her head rapidly, forgetting that Bethany couldn't see her. "I just want to make sure tonight is really special for her."

There was a long pause. "I guess that makes sense. What did you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure," Fumiki admitted. "I thought maybe you and Noriko could pick me up early, and we could plan."

"Just a second." Fumiki could hear Bethany speaking, and Noriko's voice in the background, then Noriko was speaking to her. "Hi, Fumiki."

"Hi."

"Bethany says your sister is a virgin, and tonight would be her first time?"

"Yeah, and I want to make sure it's something she'll always remember, you know? My first time was horrible, I don't want that to happen to my little sister."

There was a pause. "You're sure she knows what's going to happen?"

"Oh, yeah. We talked about it a lot. Um, I can't really talk about that here. I'm in the kitchen."

"I see." She could hear Noriko talking to Bethany. "How about if we pick you up around noon? We didn't really have any plans for today other than fucking a lot."

Fumiki blushed at the other girls matter of fact words. "That'd be great. I'll tell mom that we want to get our studying out of the way before tonight, so that Kita doesn't feel left out."

"See you then."

Kita stared out the window, waiting for Fumiki and her friends to show up. She was more than a little nervous; her sister's hurried explanation that she had to "work on something with Noriko and Bethany before tonight" seemed somehow off-kilter, in addition to the nervousness engendered by the plans for the night's activities. All afternoon she'd vacillated between excited nervousness and fearful nervousness; either way, the butterflies in her stomach wouldn't go away.

But she wasn't going to back out. That much she was determined; after seeing what a single kiss from her sister could do, she wanted more. And, seeing how excited her sister was, she didn't want to disappoint her. Her feelings about her sister's love were still in turmoil, but more and more they centered around a warm, cherished feeling -- something she'd never felt before.

She liked that feeling.

Seeing a car drive up, she jumped up to go to the door, surprised to see that there was only one person in the car. The tall blonde who stepped out was obviously Bethany, but why would she be alone?

When the blonde walked up the sidewalk to the front door, however, she realized that it must be Bethany. Hurrying to the door, she answered it.

"Hi, you must be Kita. I'm Bethany."

"It's nice to meet you, Bethany," she replied politely, wondering just where her sister was.

As if reading her mind, Bethany said, "Fumiki and Noriko are working on something, so they asked me to pick you up. I hope you don't mind, but I need to stop by a store and get something on the way home."

"That's fine. Let me get my stuff and tell Mom I'm leaving."

In the car, they sat in a slightly awkward silence as Bethany pulled away from the curb. As they merged into traffic, the older girl said, softly, "Your sister really loves you, you know?"

Kita blushed, and she choked. "I'm sorry?"

"She didn't say anything at first, but it was kinda obvious. How long have you two been together?"

"Um, I think you have the wrong idea. We aren't... together the way you mean."

Bethany turned to her, shock and regret on her face. "Oh my god. I'm sorry. It just seemed that -- I mean, I must have misunderstood something."

Kita hesitated. "Um..."

"Kita, I'm sorry, I really am. I really must have completely misinterpreted something."

Kita thought about how it felt to wake up in her sister's arms that morning, and how it had felt to fall asleep in them -- the comforting sound of her heart, the safe, protected feeling of the older girl's arms around her waist. "No, I don't think you did. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm not used to the idea of... well, of being together with anyone, much less..." She hesitated again, fighting for the courage to get the last words out. "... my sister."

"Kita... don't be ashamed of love. Even if the world wouldn't approve. The world wouldn't approve of my relationship with Noriko, but I'm not ashamed of it."

"Yes, but... Noriko isn't your sister," Kita said. "It's one thing to have a lesbian lover, but incest is something else."

"True, but Noriko isn't my lover. She's my owner, and I don't think people would understand that any more than they'd understand about you and Fumiki."

Kita's mouth dropped open. "Your owner? What do you mean?"

Bethany's eyes flickered to Kita before returning to the road. "Just that. She owns me," she said, matter of factly. "I thought that Fumiki had told you."

"Um, no. She didn't mention that." Kita hesitated, wondering whether it was proper to ask her next question, deciding that given the subject matter it was. "Why does she own you? I mean, why would you want her to?"

"There are a couple of reasons," Bethany said, changing lanes to an exit ramp. "Initially, it was because, well, I used to be a total bitch. Noriko says I was a sociopath. I'd kidnapped her and tied her up to sacrifice her to the demon I was raising." Seeming not to notice the way Kita's eyes widened, or the way she moved away in her seat, she continued, "Luckily for me, I screwed up. To make a long story short, the demon healed me. To be honest, I think that if I didn't have Noriko, I might have just killed myself then."