Oh, My God! Oh my god! Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!

What have I gotten myself into? I mean, I’ve had friends who were needy, but ... Oh, My God! She said something to me at Christmas, but it didn’t make sense ... but now it does.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. Ever since Christmas, I’ve been hanging around with Gwen. She’s been like an older sister or a mother, someone I could talk to about my pregnancy.

I have Grandma, who I love so much, and she took care of me after my parents died, but I never really talked to her. Well, at least until recently, anyway. There always seemed to be a little wall between us, like she was the mother and I was the child, which really makes sense when you think about it.

And, I’ve had girlfriends, too, but somehow they seem a little distant lately. Faith has her little boy now to care for, and Emily is somewhere else. Ruth has finished college and is working on getting into law school, so she’s always busy, and Jamie has decided to go to school and is working on doing that. And here am I, pregnant and all alone.

I told you about Nils, didn’t I? Oh, maybe I haven’t had the chance. He’s still in New York. His works have sold very well, and he told me that the picture of Guinevere and me was the hit of the show. Problem is, he’s now starting to get famous and he has a number of commissions in New York, so he has to be there to work on those. He may be thinking of moving there. If he is, he hasn’t said anything to me, but a woman can sense things like that.

If he does move there, I hope he’ll want me and our child there, too. But that would put me about one thousand miles away from Grandma, and I have the property, and my doctor is here, and I don’t want to move. But what will I do if Nils goes to New York and I have to have and raise this baby by myself?

Gwen has been so supportive of me during all of this. I’m surprised, though, that she hasn’t been down on Nils. She comes over every day and we talk and I cry, and she lets me wet her shoulder with my tears. It seems, though, every time I have a crying jag, we end up in bed. For someone who has never loved a woman before, she really knows how to love me. She’s so gentle when she sucks on my tits, and my milk lets down so easily for her. All the while she’s nursing on me, her finger is in my pussy, rubbing me until I orgasm and relax. We start talking again, and before I know it, she’s sucking my clit and her pussy is in my face and we’re going at each other like there will be no more after this time. We often fall asleep together. She usually goes home in the morning, but by afternoon, she’s back with me, loving me.

A few weeks after the New Year, the weather turned warm and the snow that was so deep at Christmas started melting and turning into slush. The wind didn’t exactly howl, but there seemed to be a steady push of it out of the southwest. Gwen called it a Chinook wind, and explained that the Chinook wind was the wind that came after the New Year and melted the snow and made everything wet and muddy. Well, it was certainly doing a good job of that! Every time I let Amber out into the backyard, I had to clean all the mud from her paws or it would be tracked all over the house.

After about three or four days of the Chinook wind, the snow had melted from all of the sidewalks and it was warm enough to go walking. Guinevere came over, as usual, and I suggested I needed to get out of the house and walk around downtown. It wasn’t far, but I thought it would feel good to just be out of the house for a while.

She agreed. We put Amber on her lead and headed out. We took her car to a parking lot on the far side of the downtown area. We both wore light sweaters and short skirts. I had a light jacket but kept it unzipped. My tummy poked out quite a bit and led because I was in my ninth month. I felt like I could pop at any minute. Gwen held Amber’s lead with one hand and supported me with the other.

We did a lot of window shopping, sometimes going into shops. It surprised me a bit when no one said anything about Amber coming in, also. She was very good and just sniffed at everything. She got a lot of compliments, but she’s such a pretty and good dog no one seemed to mind her being in their shop.

It wasn’t warm enough to eat outside, so when we got hungry, Guinevere suggested we go to her house for lunch. Her place is just the other side of the downtown where we were shopping, so it wasn’t too far to walk, thank goodness. I was getting tired and the thought of going home and then going to her house was a little bit daunting.

By the time we got to her house, I was almost exhausted. Being nine-months pregnant will take it out of a woman! Gwen was so sweet; she had me sit in an over-stuffed chair in her living room while she made some lunch. It was so comfortable there that I have to confess I fell asleep while she was out of the room. Amber followed Gwen into the kitchen and didn’t bother me until Gwen came in to wake me to eat.

Guinevere helped me out of the chair. I’m not sure if I could have done it by myself as I had sunk into the cushions as I slept. “Let’s get some food into you and then you can nap in my bed,” she said as she led me into the kitchen. There she had laid out some soup and bread. After she sat me down, she let Amber out the back door and Amber went bounding out. Amber loves to explore new places!

The soup was a creamy chicken soup and really tasted very good, but, for some reason, it didn’t sit well in my stomach. The bread was tasty, too, but it didn’t sit well, either. I’m afraid I didn’t eat as much as I thought I would. We chatted, but Gwen could see I was tired, and after she finished, she brought Amber back in, and took me by the hand and led me to her bed.

I had never been in her room before, and I was struck by how dark it was there. The blinds were down and the shades drawn and Gwen had to flick the light switch to get any light into the room.

I was surprised by how stark it was in the room; the walls were bare of any hangings and on her dresser was just a jewelry box on a lace runner. There were no pictures, no clutter of makeup or anything that would announce that a beautiful woman lived there. There were, however, nightstands on either side of the queen-size bed. Both had lamps on them with doilies beneath them. I didn’t really notice anything else, though, because I was feeling so tired.

Guinevere helped me out of my sweater, pulling it over my head. She had me sit on the edge of the bed while she pulled off my boots. As she took each one off, she rubbed my insteps and the balls of my feet, and I have to tell you, it felt delicious. But it helped relax me and make me sleepier, still. I stood and she pulled my skirt over my hips to puddle at my feet. Gwen had me sit and scoot further onto the bed and she pulled the comforter up over my shoulder. The last thing I remember was watching her pull off her sweater and skirt and reach for the light. Despite the bright sunshine outside, the room was plunged into darkness and I felt her move to the other side of the bed and crawl in. She rolled over to my side, draped her arm around me and cupped my breast and kissed my cheek. That was all it took, and I was sound asleep.

I felt myself rousing from my sleep, a mild cramping in my middle, my back aching, when I suddenly thrust my hand out and hit the nightstand on my side of the bed. I heard a crash and the tinkle of glass that made me sit up in the bed. I fumbled around to find the switch on the lamp, and the light showed that I had knocked a drinking glass and a bottle of pills onto the floor.

“Don’t move,” cried Gwen as she threw the covers off of herself.

“Where’s Amber?” I demanded. I didn’t want her to walk on the broken glass and cut herself. “Find her and put her out, please.”

Gwen had moved so that she could survey the damage. “Sure, Hon, but don’t you move, Naomi. There’s glass all over the place and you don’t have shoes on.” The fact that she didn’t either didn’t seem to bother her at all. She shooed Amber out of the room and I could hear her open the back door. I assumed Amber went out.

While Gwen was out of the room getting stuff to clean up the mess, I reached down and picked up the pill bottle off the floor and read the label. Benzodiazepine. I didn’t know what that was. I was going to have to ask Gwen. There were pills on the floor, also. I guess that the top hadn’t been screwed on tightly, because I could see the cover on the floor amidst the broken glass.

Just then, Gwen returned with a whisk broom and a dustpan and started to sweep up the debris from the floor. As she carefully knelt down to get to work on the cleanup, I handed her the bottle and she looked at it as if she’d never seen it before.

“What is ‘benzodiazepine’?” I innocently asked.

“Sleeping pills,” she succinctly answered as she carefully sorted through the broken glass to sort out the pills to put back into the bottle.

“You’re having problems sleeping?” I wondered. “With all of the exercise you’ve been getting making love to me, I would think you would be exhausted.”

“I am,” she returned and put the cap back on the bottle. She put the bottle back onto the nightstand and was silent as she swept up the broken glass. “I’ll be right back after I dump this,” she said, indicating with her head the dustpan. “I have a confession to make when I get back.”

I sat myself up higher onto the headboard, arranging the pillows so that I could lean back against it. I heard her rummaging around, putting the dustpan and the broom away. She returned with a damp cloth which she used to wipe up the floor, looking for any stray shards of glass. She didn’t say a word while doing it, and didn’t say anything until after she had shaken the rag over the trash can and settled herself on the bed next to me.

She sat there for a few moments, just staring at her hands folded in her lap. I watched her, wondering what the confession would be, frightened by what it might be. She took a deep, shuddering breath, letting it out with a low moan. She raised her head a little and I looked into her eyes, seeing the tears welling there, ready to run down her cheeks.

She took another breath and softly said, “Naomi ... I have been lying to you and Nils, and I hope that you can forgive me.” I started to say something, but she placed her left index finger on my lips, shushing me.

“I have to say this now, or I may never get the courage to say it again,” she said, and the tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I’ve lied to you and Nils,” she said again, then plunged on.

“I was married to Henry for twenty-five years. He was my everything, and I built my whole world around him. I was a slave for him. He never abused me or anything like that, but sometimes I felt like I couldn’t breathe without knowing he loved me and would come home to me each night, which he did. I don’t think he ever strayed, or at least not that I knew of.

“Unfortunately, we could not have children, so there was one of my lies. We didn’t have any children. In fact, Henry and I were both single children, no brothers or sisters, and all of our relatives were older than us, and one-by-one they died, leaving Henry and me as the only relatives either one of us had. Then Henry died, too.

“I was devastated. I was alone for the first time in my life, and I had never felt that before and it depressed me. The pastor at our church tried to help, as did some of the women there, but, after the funeral and all of the well-wishers had gone, it was just me, alone in this house, day after day, night after night and I couldn’t seem to get out of my depression.

“Henry paid all of our bills and I had to learn how to do that. I guess we had a very traditional division of duties: he made the money and paid all of our bills and did all of the repairs, and I kept the house clean and cooked his meals and did the gardening to keep the outside of the house looking nice. I didn’t know how to do his jobs, and I got mad, then depressed knowing I had to learn how to do everything.

“I went to the doctor to get the pills so that I could sleep, but that didn’t help because they added to my depression. I was feeling so down on myself and I felt so much pain, that when you saw me Christmas Eve, I had decided that it was time to end my life. I had the glass of water there by the bedside, along with the pills I was going to take to end it all. I was in church to ask God’s forgiveness for what I was going to do.

“But then I met you and Amber and you made me feel loved again. I felt as if God had led you to that church and compelled you to sit in the same pew with me. And I felt a little needed when you let me walk you home and then loved again when we made love that night. It was what I was missing, being loved again!”

I tried to interrupt her, but she just kept on. “And then when Nils came home and accepted me and made love to me, too, I knew I had to be a part of your life, if only to continue mine.” She stopped and sobbed. “If you want to leave me now, I’ll understand. I won’t like it, but I won’t stop you. I’ll be miserable again, but you’ve made it clear to me that I can be loved, and I thank you for that.”

Well, I didn’t know what to say, what to think. She was very close to me, so I reached out my arms and pulled her to me. It was a bit uncomfortable with her lying against my very big tummy, but I put her head on my breast and let her cry until there wasn’t anything more left in her. I think she dozed a little, and as she slept, I tried to think of what to say, what to do. This was very different from anything I’d ever had happen to me, so I was feeling lost.

I was lost in thought when I felt the nipple on the breast Gwen was nestled against to start to tingle. I looked down and saw that Guinevere, her eyes still closed, her breathing even and measured, had taken my nipple into her mouth and was suckling, just as I imagined a baby would. It was an exquisite sensation for me, partly painful, partly pleasure. I felt as if there was a weight on my chest that had nothing to do with Gwen’s head lying there, and suddenly, that weight was gone, and I could feel my breasts filling with milk.

As Gwen suckled there at my breast, her mouth started filling with my milk and she awoke with a start.

“Wha ... Oh...” was all she could utter. She brought her hand beneath my breast, now leaking milk, and she squeezed it gently, her mouth once again covering my nipple, only now she sucked greedily, pulling as much as she could from it, swallowing noisily.

There must not have been much there for her to take, because after a couple of minutes of lusty sucking, she switched to my other breast, drawing her body over mine. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, as she weighed down across my baby and the bulge it made there.

Soon, however, that breast was empty, too, and I could feel the loss of that milk and the loss of her sucking, but she moved down across my tummy, kissing it over every bump and bulge. Junior was quite active just then and whenever a new bulge appeared it was kissed so lovingly by Gwen even as she moved ever southward.

Eventually, she made it to her destination and began licking my pussy. Again, it was a soft, loving touch, not nearly as rough as when Nils made love to me. And she was making love to me, expressing her feelings towards me more effectively than her words ever could.

I glanced over at the bottle of pills sitting on the nightstand and realized that I could not let her be alone again, ready to commit herself to oblivion. As I had heard it said in my youth, “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” and I knew that she still might not see her problems as being temporary.

However, her ministrations to my pussy distracted me from thinking about it too much, and I let my thoughts drift along with the pleasure she was giving me. She didn’t dive straight onto my clit, but licked along the sides of it, moving along the edges of my pussy lips, gathering up the moisture I was secreting and spreading it over the whole of my pussy.

She made her tongue into a miniature cock and used it to penetrate my cunt, her nose softly brushing my clit, causing zings and tingles to travel from my pussy to my nipples, causing a little more of my milk to let down and leak, little drops forming trails down across my breasts, pooling at the beginning of my baby-bump. Gwen’s tongue penetrated deep into my pussy, then curled upwards across the top of my vagina, slowly moving across the ridges deep within my pussy. I was getting lost in the sensations, building towards a climax.

She took her tongue out of my hole and brought it up across my clit, for the first time directly pushing it around, flicking it and causing sensations that only intensified my arousal. I reached as best I could around my baby to try to pull her face into more direct contact, but all I could grab was a little bit of hair on each side of her head. It was enough, I guess, to indicate to her that I wanted more, because she soon raised the intensity of her ministrations and soon I was on to my orgasm.

I must have bucked against her hard when I raised my hips because I heard her cry out in pain, but she did not stop and my orgasm didn’t stop, and when she sucked my clit into her mouth, she also put a long finger into my hole, pushing against my G-spot. I screamed and tried to move myself away from her. My movements were stopped by my position against the headboard, it being against the unmovable wall. She finally relented and I settled down as she made her way back up to be beside me, licking up some of my milk that had leaked as she came.