Chapter 20: Alone Again

Since the start of this nightmare Janet had managed to avoid having any 'girl to girl' talks with her mom. The only real opportunity for one had been at dinner a couple of nights ago and dinner was rarely a time for that as her dad invariably sent them up when they indulged in girl talk. So girl time normally happened when she, Kelly and her mom were together buying clothes or watching a "girlie" dvd or sometimes even making dinner! Which was exactly what she and her mom would be doing in the next ten minutes and Janet was terrified. She knew she'd let something slip and give away the horrible secret she was carrying or even if she didn't her mom would still somehow guess something was wrong.

That wasn't the only thing upsetting her though. Truth was Janet hated lying to her parents, especially about important things. Lying about finishing her homework and stuff like that was okay but to have to lie about practically everything she's been doing the last week was huge!

When she arrived home she found that for once this week the gods were smiling on her. There was a message on the answering machine from her mum saying they were caught up at the office and wouldn't be home till about 7.30 and they wanted Janet to get dinner together by herself! Yes!!! She bounded upstairs to have a quick shower before heading to the kitchen. It was going to be okay!

As she dried herself after showering she did her normal mirror check for any unwanted bulges that might tell her it was time to stop eating chocolate or icecream or even time to go on a diet, something she'd never had to do so far thank god. It wasn't really a conscious check, more a habitual action. She'd just twisted sideways to look at the back of her thighs when the word 'beautiful' leapt to the front of her brain. Not that she thought she was beautiful. She knew she wasn't ugly but she knew she didn't look like a movie star or a model. However by now she was used to boys telling her she was beautiful and she knew to brush it off, recognising that they were only saying it to help convince her to have sex with them. As if! But this afternoon Richard had told her she was beautiful and he didn't need to say it to get her to have sex with him that was for sure. Maybe he really did think she was beautiful. Wow. He hated her but he thought she was beautiful? Strange.

Facing the mirror she moved her hands over her flat stomach and up to her boobs, cupping them underneath. He certainly seemed to think these were beautiful. She smiled at her reflection thinking back to a couple of years ago when she could completely cover them with her hands. No way could she do that now. Occasionally she worried that they were too big but mostly she was glad they'd grown to this size especially as they didn't sag the way a couple of her friend's boobs already did. That'd be awful. Most of her friends though had smaller boobs and all of them wanted bigger so she guessed she was lucky with what she inherited.

She twisted her body from side to side, checking her boobs in profile, watching her nipples crinkle and grow till they were pointing straight out from her chest. She always thought they looked better like this and they certainly felt better. She brushed her thumbs over the tips sending a shiver through her body, watching as the goosebumps spread over her arms and chest, remembering how great it felt when Richie had... Shit! Dinner! She was meant to be chopping tomatoes, not playing with her tits!

By seven thirty Janet had everything ready and on the table with a couple of empty plates waiting for the cold meats her parents would be bringing. Her parents were even later than they'd said, arriving home as the Morgansen's were pulling into the drive. This of course meant no chance at all for Janet's mom to ask her anything incriminating which was a huge relief. Dinner was uneventful and Janet was able to easily deal with the few questions about what she was doing on her holidays without having to lie too much. Naturally most of the dinner talk was about the elections, the economy, business and other 'adult' topics although Janet, Mrs Morgansen and her mom did have some fun talking about fashion.

With dinner over they headed into the family room for coffee but thankfully her dad let her off the hook from any further social duties and after saying goodnight to the Morgansens she headed upstairs to her room. It was only as she closed her bedroom door that she realised how tense she'd been. Kicking off her shoes, she tumbled onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as, unbidden, tears started trickling down her cheeks.

It wasn't fair; nothing was fair in her life. How was she expected to keep leading this secret double life? Richard couldn't keep asking her to lie to her parents, keep things from them like this. She had to do something. She couldn't keep this up or she'd go crazy! When she was with him she felt like she didn't have a choice but there must be other choices, other ways of handling this. She had to calm down, had to think clearly and weigh up the other choices, look at any other options she had to help her get out of this.

Number one she could refuse to go back. Suddenly she felt sick, her stomach in a knot, the bile rising, tears increasing. If it were bad when he'd first confronted her about the cheating and the things she'd written in her diary, now it would be infinitely worse. If it ever got out that she'd let him whip her, fuck her in the behind, film her masturbating, do all the things they'd done, her life would be so totally over she couldn't even begin to think about it. She'd have to change her name, run away, disappear forever. Scratch that option!

Number two she could beg him to let her go, beg him to stop making her do all the horrible things he'd done to her although today he hadn't really done anything horrible but still he had before that so maybe he would again. Of course if she begged him to let her go he'd probably get angry, probably do more of the horrible things, probably hurt her again. Scratch that choice!!

Number three. Number three? She could do what he said but have attitude. Not enjoy it. Make it hard for him. Which of course would only make it hard for her because as soon as she did that he'd be onto her. Scratch three!!!

That was it really because number four was the only option left. Option four was continuing to do what she'd done today, totally obey him and make sure she did everything in her stupid slave contract. It meant being a complete slut, making sure she was as perfect a sex slave as she could possibly be. For now that's what she'd have to do. This brought on a renewed bout of crying but eventually the flow of tears dried up, leaving her feeling empty and defeated.

It was too early to go to bed but she needed something to occupy herself, something so she'd be able to stop thinking about all the horrid things happening to her. Dragging herself from her bed she turned on her computer to check her emails. Maybe Kel had found someway to send her an e from camp or maybe Marcia had sent one. That's what she really needed, to be able to talk to either of them. Nothing. Well that wasn't true, as always there were a few dozen unopened emails in her inbox. Most of course were spam that she normally deleted without even looking at but tonight maybe they'd help take her mind off her problems.

Online Prescription Medicine - boring - delete.

Win Lotto - as if - delete.

Mature Women to Fuck - no way - delete.

Viagra - boring - delete.

What's Your Credit Rating - zero - delete.

Animal Sex - yuck, delete.

Hung guys - why not -

She allowed this one to load and found a web address www.extrabighugecocks.com in big letters at the top with three pictures underneath. Janet had looked at emails like this before but up till now she didn't really have anyway of comparing. Wow! The cocks were probably twice as thick as Richie's and definitely longer. In the first picture a white woman was sucking a black guy and she only had the head of his cock in her mouth which was stretched so wide it looked like her lips were going to split open. As Janet stared at the picture wondering what it would feel like to suck a cock that big she unconsciously opened her mouth, mimicking the woman in the picture. Nope. She didn't think she'd like it because it felt really uncomfortable stretching so wide, the woman probably wouldn't be able to move her tongue around his cock and there was no way Janet would be able to get something that big in her throat. In the next picture the woman was being fucked in her pussy and in the last one the guy had his cock in the woman's bum. Maybe having a cock that big in her pussy would be okay if she had lots of time to get used to it but she was pretty sure she wouldn't want anything bigger than Richie's cock in her bum - delete.

Young cunts -

They weren't really young. Well not as young as she was even if they had their hair in pigtails and were wearing cheerleader uniforms. Plus their not so young cunts were all blurred so you couldn't really see anything and there weren't any guys in the pictures - delete.

Sapphic Teens - she hovered over the link for a few seconds before clicking it. She thought this meant lesbians and wasn't really interested in girls but -

She was right, it was lesbian but this one wasn't the normal full-on graphic porn site. The pictures looked arty, with a soft focus and although in some of the shots you could see their pussies, the girls weren't holding them open or anything like that. Maybe this was what they called soft porn. There was lots of kissing - on the mouth, boobs and down below. Also, the girls who were all really pretty actually looked like normal teens. In fact they looked like they were her age and maybe even younger. She browsed the site for a while wondering if the girls in the photos really liked posing and playing with each other or if they were forced to do it. They sure looked like they were enjoying it.

So it went, mostly deleting but occasionally stopping to look at the pictures, some of which she viewed in a different light with her newfound knowledge of sex. There were only three emails that she didn't delete, all from friends. Two were chain e's that friends had forwarded so she quickly scanned them, followed the instructions and sent them on to some of her contacts. Last thing she need was more bad luck! The final one was from Richard. She stared at it for at least five minutes before she finally moved the cursor to it, holding her breath as it opened.

hi j, hope dinner wasn't boring. u still have that picnic basket for 2morrow? cya r

Picnic basket! Relief! She'd assumed the email was going to be telling her to do something like masturbate or... something degrading like that. The basket should be somewhere downstairs. Good idea. She could load it with some fruit and some of the leftovers from dinner before going over in the morning. Probably should take a blanket also.

She hit the reply to sender button and then stared at the screen for a another five minutes, unsure how to respond. Finally she decided that copying his style was the safest thing to do.

Hi R, It was ok. Think we do. Will chek in morning. cya J

She hit the send button and when the email disappeared from her screen she noticed his name again about five emails below the one she'd just replied to. It was the email he'd sent her the other day, the one with the links to the pictures and to the movie of her masturbating. Although she hadn't actually watched the movie the other day she probably should delete the email anyway.

For the next few minutes she prevaricated, getting edgier and edgier with her indecision. She wanted to check out the movie but was so scared of what it would be like that she couldn't bring herself to click on the link. Eventually the screensaver started up and taking that as a sign she stood up, deciding she might as well go to bed. Trouble was that now she was feeling really wired. She'd have to do something to burn off some energy if she was going to be able to sleep. Exercise! It was too late to go for a run but she could do a workout.

Normally she'd do it downstairs where there was more room but she could do it in her bedroom particularly if she used one of her less strenuous videos. She grabbed one and put it in the machine. The skirt she was wearing was really too tight for exercising so she slipped it off and also took of her top. That was one of the good things about having a video and TV in her room, she could do a work out in bra and panties. She'd been at it for about ten minutes when she heard her parents.

"Hon, you still up?"

"Of course she is dear. She's working out. Can't you hear?"

"I can hear music but she might have fallen asleep with a CD on, mightn't she?"

"Trust me that music isn't any CD she'd be voluntarily listening to. It's one of her workout tapes."

Janet hit the pause button on the video as she guiltily looked at her computer worried that somehow the movie of her masturbating might have started playing by itself! Of course it hadn't and the screen saver was still active. She opened the door, poking her head around to find her parents smiling at her, her dad behind her mum with his arms wrapped around her, his head on her shoulder

"We just wanted to say sweet dreams and thank you for getting everything ready tonight."

"Hey that's okay mom, no probs."

"Well we're off to bed. Love you darling."

"Love you too mom."

"Night hon. Now don't do too much exercising before going to bed will you?"

"No dad, only going to do a few minutes more. Night."

Closing the door she started the video again but almost immediately stopped it. The workout wasn't going to work! It wasn't going to calm her down. She had to watch the movie. Had to see what it looked like, had to see how terrible it was. Scrolling to the email she opened it then, momentarily closing her eyes, she clicked the mouse on the web address, opening the site. There were all those sexy pictures of her and there was the link to the video. She closed her eyes again and with one more click started the video. Suddenly her own voice filled her head through the earphones and, startled, she opened her eyes.