What have I done? My God, what have I done? I have become that which I most despised, but no longer care. God forgive me, I won't stop making love with my beautiful baby girl. I have to tell someone, just to unburden my soul.

Where to start? Maybe I should tell you about myself before I get into how this all happened.

I was born Samuel James Wilhite in the city, but raised on the family farm. My dad and mom had a little over eighteen hundred acres of farm and ranch land just over twelve miles from the city. I got to go to school with the city kids, but also had the freedoms and responsibilities of being on a farm. My father died when I was only fourteen, and I took on even more responsibilities. My heart broke each day as I watched my mom slowly waste away after that. She died when I turned seventeen. A Junior in High School shouldn't have to put up with that kind of pain. Mom and Dad both had life insurance policies, with an extra one to cover the loan on the farm. Money was not an issue.

The family lawyer did some fancy footwork, and I was declared an emancipated minor. Thanks to him, I didn't wind up in foster care. I was an only child, with no relatives, and the full duties of an adult; all before graduating High School. If it wasn't for my fathers' early teachings, my few close friends, and the girl that became my wife, I would have gone crazy.

I met my wife, Serena Berrens, when she was ten. Her folks bought the farm next to ours, and she started riding the bus to school; getting on just after I did. She was a scrawny kid, but had the deepest blue eyes. I think I fell in love with her the first day we met. We went to the same schools, had the same circle of friends, and went through a lot together as we grew up. I married her just before our Senior year of High School.

Her Dad was dead set against it; we were much too young and inexperienced to make such a commitment. He finally caved in when Serena told him she was packing up to move into my bedroom, one way or another.

She gave him a choice, "Daddy, you can give us your blessings to be married, or forever know that your baby girl surrendered her virginity to the man she loves outside of marriage."

That shocked him; he had assumed we were already lovers. We explained that even though we very much in love, we both wanted to wait until marriage for that kind of relationship. We were married in June.

Back in school that fall, everyone was counting to see when Serena was going to deliver the baby. You know, the one that forced us to get married so early. Lot's of people were disappointed when no baby came, except for our close friends.

Serena did become pregnant shortly after graduation. I used to kid her it probably happened on our Senior trip to the Catskills. That round bed was something else. The pregnancy was normal, but the delivery wasn't. It almost killed the two most important people in my life. The doctor said another pregnancy would probably end my wife's life. I wanted to get a vasectomy after that, but Serena insisted her tubes be tied instead. The one good thing to come of all this was our baby girl. We named her Cindy, but I called her Sunshine because she was the light of my life. Grandpa and Grandma Berrens did what grandparents always do, they tried to spoil her. Serena used to say that I was worse, though.

The years passed, Cindy grew, and so did our nearby city. I had started building houses to help keep busy, the farm didn't take enough time with all the modern tools we had. When the city grew far enough, I developed six hundred acres into an exclusive walled community and started contracting houses. I made many friends as I built the home they had dreamed about. Many were just plain folks, but many were also very influential. Lawyers, judges, commissioners, doctors, bankers, and a State Senator were counted as my friends now.

One such family was the Thomas's. I built their house just up the street from mine, and we became friends because they had a ten-year-old daughter in my sweet Cindy's fourth-grade class at school. Jack Thomas was an investment banker, and worked long hours. Often he left before Janie got up in the morning and came home well after his wife and daughter had gone to bed. Janie would ride to and from school with Cindy, my wife and I taking turns driving them. I guess we were closer to Janie than her parents, really.

Janie Thomas was a precocious girl with reddish blonde hair, and bright green eyes that flashed with excitement. My Cindy had taken after her mom, and had dark blonde hair with those deep blue eyes of her mother. I would often find Cindy and Janie playing together after school, and watched the laughter and energy of these two beautiful girls. Janie would often spend the weekend with Cindy. I would tuck both of them into bed, and kiss their eyes closed to help them sleep. On one such sleepover, I heard them talking after being tucked in for the night.

"But Cindy, I just wish MY daddy would tuck me in like this. I never get to see him, or anything."

"I know, Janie. It just isn't fair he works so hard, but I'm sure he does it because he wants to take care of you and your mom."

I heard Janie sigh. "I just wished he would show it more, or at least tell me. Your dad is so nice to me."

"My dad's the greatest. I love him so much." My heart melted when I heard my baby say this.

"I know. I think I do, too."

I heard them start to talk about other things, and decided it was time to be a parent. I made a little noise, walked in, and turned on a small lamp in the corner.

"Alright, young ladies. Tomorrow is a school day and you should both be asleep. I'll tuck you in one more time, and this time go to sleep for me. OK?" I looked from Cindy to Janie; both were covered, but had their arms on top of the blankets.

I heard, "Yes, Daddy." And "Yes, Mr. Wilhite."

I went to Cindy, and as I bent to kiss her eyes she reached up and pulled me in for a hug. "I love you, Daddy." She kissed my lips softly, and closed her eyes; her arms back on the blankets.

"I love you too, Sunshine." I kissed her eyes, and forehead.

I went to Janie's' bed. She pulled me down for a hug that was stronger than my daughters. "I love you, Mr. Wilhite." Janie kissed me quickly, and turned me loose.

"I love you too, sweetheart." I kissed her eyes, turned off the light, and went to bed.

A couple of years of birthdays, pool parties, slumber parties, sock hops and school rides passed. I watched Cindy and Janie start to bloom into young women with a fathers pride for them both. Then one day, something changed.

"Janie rode to school with her dad this morning." My wife told me at lunch.

"That's great. Maybe he's finally got some time to start spending with his family, now. That's wonderful."

I went to pick up Cindy and Janie that afternoon from school, but I could tell something was wrong. Janie wasn't talking, and Cindy was looking back and forth to me for guidance. I told Janie I hoped she was feeling better tomorrow.

The next few days Janie rode to school with her dad, and her mother picked her up. Cindy was worried about her. She wasn't talking in class, and stayed away from her and everyone else during lunch and recess. I was getting worried, too. The world exploded for the Thomas family that Friday night.

I was watching some late night news when there was a knock at the door. When I looked out, it was Janie. I opened the door, and could tell she was a mess. Her nightie was torn, her hair in disarray, she had been crying, but she was staring without seeing. Then I saw the gun.

I knelt in front of her, and held out my hand. "Janie, give that to me, please honey." She moved woodenly and placed it in my hand. I gently set it on the floor inside the doorway. "Come on sweetheart, let's get in from the cold." She didn't move, but didn't object when I picked her up, her arms automatically going about my neck. I took her into the kitchen where Serena was preparing some things for the next day, and placed Janie in a chair. That's when I saw the blood on my arm as I pulled it from beneath her. You could see where it had run down the insides of her thighs.

I showed Serena the blood, and she gasped. "Call 911, tell them we need an ambulance and the police. I'll try to check on Janie."

I knelt in front of Janie. "Talk to me, Janie. Tell me what happened, sweetheart." She just looked at me and cocked her head. "Please Janie, talk to me, baby. I love you." She jerked, and then after blinking several times seem to focus on me. She ran into me so hard it almost knocked me over, her arms squeezing my neck as she cried into my shoulder.

"My daddy! My Daddy!" she sobbed as she wept. I calmed her down some, and she told me what had happened.

Her father had started to 'tuck her in' at night a few months ago. Julie was overjoyed; at last her daddy was paying her attention. Then she noticed the way he was looking at her when she climbed into bed at night, and he started to touch her as she lay in bed, and had her touch him.

"And, and, and last night he had been drinking. He came into my room to tuck me in, like, and he started touching me between my legs. I told him to stop, that it wasn't right, but that just made him angry. He hit me, and tore my dress, and then he... Then he... He climbed on top of me, he tried to kiss me, but I was trying to push him off. And he hurt me so bad, it hurt so bad, I couldn't breathe, couldn't scream. I just lay there under him, listening to him grunt." She took a deep breath. "I got very quiet. He finished in me, and said I was a 'good girl'. That I was going to be his 'good girl' from now on." Another deep breath. "I waited until I heard him go into their bedroom. Then I got up and went downstairs to his desk and got his gun. I went into their room. I could see him on the bed, could smell him, taste him still in my mouth. I raised the gun, and heard my mother sob. I looked at her, she was asleep, she was crying in her sleep." Julie was crying again, and then she took another deep breath. "I couldn't do it. Not to mommy. I couldn't hurt him in mommies' bed. I turned to leave them, I was just going to go away." She pulled back to look at me. "How did I get here, Mr. Wilhite?"

I was seething inside, but had to be calm for Janie. "I found you on my doorstep, sweetheart. You wandered over here, and now you're going to be safe. I'll make sure of that, baby." She threw her arms around my neck and held on tight, softly sobbing.

I convinced Janie to let Serena hold her while I made some phone calls by telling her I needed to make sure Cindy wasn't afraid. I called Serena's dad to ask him to come over quick, I'd explain when he got here. In between dealing with the paramedics and the police when they arrived, I made several calls. I was angry, and wanted to move fast to help Janie. Serena's dad stayed in the house with Cindy, one cop rode with me in the ambulance as he took my statement, while his partner followed us to the hospital. Serena followed behind in our car.

The judge I had called made sure a policewoman stayed with us while Janie was taken to surgery. While they were repairing the physical damage done to her, a call came through letting us know that Jack Thomas was in custody, and that there was clear evidence of the rape. Janie's mother was so out of it from pills and booze she didn't know anything was going on. The doctor came out after several hours and told us Janie was going to be fine. There had been a bad tear of her vagina, but in time she would heal and have a normal life. Normal life, I snorted at that, and the doctor gave me an understanding look. Serena and I went in to the recovery room to wait until she awoke.

During her recovery Serena and I made sure one of us was always in her room. Grandpa and Grandma Berrens would stay with Janie at the hospital or Cindy at home, wherever they were needed. Several judges, doctors, and lawyers helped me to get the paperwork I wanted drawn up and pushed through in record time. Four days after her ordeal, we were ready.

A small entourage entered Janie's' room. There was a district judge, court recorder, two lawyers (one for Janie), Serena, Cindy, and myself. When the court recorder was ready, the judge spoke to Janie.

"Janie, I'm judge Sinclair. I'm very sorry to make your acquaintance in this manner, and even more sorry that I have to ask you some very hard questions. Do you think you could answer some questions for me, Janie?"

Janie smiled, weakly. "I'll do my best, sir."

The judge asked her about her family life, about school, about what she thought about my family and Cindy. At the end of the short ordeal, the judge made a formal statement that my petition had been granted. I signed some papers, and everyone left the room, leaving a very confused girl behind. Cindy, Serena, and myself came quickly back to Janie. I sat in the chair next to her while Cindy sat on the bed with her friend. I told Cindy she must be still and not cause Janie any pain from bouncing around. Then I took Janie's' hand in mine.

"Janie, do you know what just happened?"

"No, sir. I don't understand it, at all."

"Well, before I tell you could I ask you a question?"

"Uh-huh."

"Would you like to live with us? You could have your own room, or you could stay with Cindy if that's what the both of you would like. How does that sound?"

"That would be wonderful! Could I, please?"

"Then it's settled. You can live with us. Cindy will be your sister, Serena will be your mommy, and I'll be you daddy now."

Cindy was looking at me with eyes big as saucers. "Is it true? Janie can be my sister now?" Janie was trying to watch both of us, wide-mouthed disbelief on her face.

"Yes, Sunshine. It's true. I promise."

Cindy carefully got off her new sisters' bed, and flew into my arms. She rained kisses on my face. "Thank you, daddy! Thank you!" Then she put her arm around my neck and held me tight. "I love you so much, daddy!" Serena watched on, bemused as Cindy went back to Janie and hugged her, too.

Janie was soon well enough to come home, and my girls decided they wanted to share a room together. Cindy's' room wasn't big enough (I thought), so I decided to build a new house with a larger bedroom for them. I was uncertain of tucking them in at night until Janie took me by the hand, insisting she felt safer when I tucked them in at night. I almost cried, but never missed a night after that.

We settled in our new house, and Serena and I were content watching our girls grow up. Two more years passed, birthdays, slumber parties, pool parties, first crushes on boys; I watched it all. My little girls were turning into stunning young women. I asked each of them on their birthday if they were getting old enough to want me to stop tucking them in at night. 'I hope I'm never that old, daddy.' was the answer both gave to me.

Shortly after Janie's' fifteenth birthday, the unthinkable happened. Serena was coming home after visiting Grandpa Berrens and was struck by a drunk driver that ran a red light. My life was over. On the ride to the gravesite, Cindy and Janie hugged me tight.

"Don't worry, daddy. We'll take care of you." Each in turn kissed my cheek, and told me they loved me. All I could do is cry.

It was a beautiful sunny day when my Serena was laid to rest. There were many friends and loved ones present to say goodbye, and to let us know she will be missed. One of the doctors gave me some pills to take to help me sleep, and said I was to see him in a couple of days. I thanked him for his thoughtfulness and kindness. After we returned home, I took one of the pills and went to sleep. It was the first night I failed to tuck in my girls.

I threw myself more into my work, hoping the physical exhaustion would help me forget the dull ache that was my soul. I still took my girls to school and picked them up, even taking them to all their activities. But every spare moment I filled with labor, either at the farm or at a jobsite. After about a month, Cindy and Janie came to me to tuck them in for the night. I started crying uncontrollably, and told them I just couldn't do that right now. They just looked at each other and went to bed.

The days passed, and I stopped talking to anyone that wasn't calling about work. The Berrens stopped by, but I just couldn't talk to them. Cindy and Janie enjoyed the visit, though. One of the doctors stopped by, and tried to talk me into seeing a therapist friend of his. I tried to tell him I didn't need that kind of help, and thanked him when he gave me some more pills to help me sleep.

I finished the last house I had a contract for, and sold the business.

The girls took more responsibility for cooking and cleaning, and could do quite well fending for themselves. I came home from the farm one evening just before Janie's sixteenth birthday to find Grandpa and Grandma Berrens there, and a woman I'd never met before. Cindy introduced the woman as a teacher that had just moved to the district. Janie took me to the kitchen to let me know she was single, and needed to find new friends in a strange city. We had a polite and pleasant, if not strained dinner that evening.

After our guests had left, I set the girls down and talked to them. The first I'd done in several weeks.

"Please don't bring another woman into the house for me." I faced Cindy. "Your mother was the only woman I ever knew and loved. I have no need for anyone else." I took both their hands in mine. "Besides, I have both of you. Now go get ready for bed, school tomorrow."

They smiled weakly, and got up to leave. Cindy took a couple of steps, and then turned back to me. "Daddy, would you tuck us in, please daddy?"

I smiled, but shook my head. "No Sunshine, I just can't do that. Not anymore. Now go to bed." She hung her head and nodded, then left the room. I went to my cold bed, took one of the doctors pills I'd come to rely on, and let it take my consciousness from me.

I dreamed. I was happy, again. Serena was back, holding me in my sleep, telling me I was loved. Telling me I was needed. I crushed her to me, spilling my heart, and fell into a peaceful slumber. The next morning I actually smiled when I woke up, then noticed my Serena wasn't there. I decided the dream meant I had been neglecting my girls, and decided to do something about it.

I got up, performed my morning duties, and went to the kitchen to fix breakfast. The girls were surprised when I greeted them with hugs, and put bacon and hotcakes in front of them. They looked at each other, and then dug in.

That night Cindy insisted it was her turn to cook, and she made a wonderful meal. I cleaned up, though, and told my girls to go study. Tomorrow was another school day. They looked at each other again, said 'Yes, daddy.' and went off to do homework. I was watching TV when they came in ready for bed, and asked if I was going to tuck them in now. I smiled, but gently reminded them I couldn't do that anymore. They each gave me a kiss on the cheek, and went off to bed.

I went to my bedroom shortly after, and took a pill as I got undressed. This last batch of pills seemed to help. I was just falling asleep when Serena came to me.

In that dream state I held my beautiful wife. I had been without her for so long, the need for her was blinding. I held her, caressed her, touching her to bring her arousal to meet my own. When I could feel her need, I joined with her, gently making love with her one more time.

In the morning, I found the wet spot. "Damn, I haven't done that since I was a teenager." I thought. I performed my morning ritual, and went to the kitchen.

The girls weren't as surprised to see me cooking breakfast this morning, but Cindy kept looking at Janie every time I said anything. Cindy vehemently insisted on sitting next to me on the ride to school. She kissed my cheek, and told me she loved me before she got out of the car.

The next week went about the same. I dreamed of my Serena, sometimes we made love; and sometimes I just held her and bared my soul. Towards the end of the week Cindy and Janie had started taking turns sitting next to me, again. I was glad, Cindy was my flesh and blood, but I loved both my girls very much. Then they revealed their secret to me.

Friday night my loving Serena had come to me, once again. I held her, loved her, and fell asleep at her breast. In the morning, I was still dreaming. She was upon me, above me, moving gently. Her breasts were against mine; I could feel the hard points of her nipples drag across my chest as she moved. Her hot wetness gripped me, and I could feel her sweet breath upon my face. I moaned my pleasure as my body tensed, sending hot pulses into her core; and she responded with vibrations of her own release. Then she lay gently upon me, keeping my weakening member within her as she murmured her pleasure.

I came awake with the knowledge that this was no dream. My god, what have I done! Sensing the change, Janie raised up to look at my face. Seeing my concern, she moved up and softly kissed my lips, releasing me from within her.

"Good morning, my sweet love. My daddy." I could feel our combined wetness draining from her.

I fought to remain calm. "Good morning, sweetheart. I think we need to talk about this, don't you?"

She smiled, and then laid her head on my chest. "Yes. Cindy and I need to talk to you about this. About what we have decided."

That didn't sound good. "Uhm, why don't you go clean up and wake her. I'll clean up and start breakfast. OK?"

I met the girls at the kitchen table, bringing in the last of a country style breakfast. Janie was glowing and Cindy was smiling, but Cindy's' smile was strained somewhat.

"Eat first. We'll talk after breakfast." This was another polite but strained meal. After we all pitched in on cleaning up, I decided it was time to take back control. I motioned for the girls. "Follow me, please." We went into the den, and both girls sat next to me on the couch.

I could tell they were nervous, so I spoke first. "What is this 'decision' Janie told me about this morning? Right after she seduced me in my sleep, that is." Janie and Cindy actually blushed at this.

Cindy recovered first. "We couldn't just watch you give up like that, daddy. We had to do something. And when you told us you didn't need another woman in your life, that you had us, we started talking about it."

Cindy looked at Janie who took over. "We didn't know what to do, but knew we had to do something. Finally, I said I wasn't going to give up so easily. That I was going to go get you out of bed and make you tuck us in, to make you start loving us again."

They were close to tears. "Oh honey, I've never stopped loving both of you."

Cindy spoke up. "I know that, daddy. But you were so withdrawn; you barely knew we were here. Your body was there, but your soul was elsewhere."

"And when I went into your bedroom, you looked so sad and troubled. I just wanted to do something, anything, so I got in bed with you and held you." Janie looked at Cindy, then. "Cindy was mad at me at first, but when I told her how you held me so tight and just cried and talked and finally went to a peaceful sleep... Well, she wasn't mad anymore."

Cindy laid her head on my shoulder. "And the next morning when you made us breakfast, it was like you were back with us. Or were on the way to returning to us. We talked at school, and decided you needed us to make you realize how much we love you. How much we need you. Grandpa and Janie helped me deal with the loss of mom, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing my daddy, too."

"I'm sorry, Sunshine. I promise to do better." I hugged Janie. "Better for both of my loving daughters."

Janie leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Cindy and I decided we would join you for a while each night, so you could hold us and feel loved. We thought that was the best thing we could do for you." She looked at Cindy and reached out to stroke her cheek. "Cindy was supposed to come to you that second night, but couldn't gather the courage to do it. When I came back to our room and told her you had made love to me in your sleep she was livid."

Cindy sighed. "I was so angry you had sex with my daddy."

Janie smiled. "It was a good thing I went that night, Cindy is still a virgin." Janie placed a finger on my lips to silence my interruption. "Yes, she is still a virgin, even now. Sitting next to you in the car, keeping me away from you, she was protecting you from me. We talked at school some more, she was still angry with me. Soon she came to agree that she didn't need to make such a sacrifice, even though she would willingly have done it, not when I had no such sacrifice to make. You are my daddy now, and I love you beyond measure for what you have done for me. To be able to show my love for you is a wonderful thing, and brings me great joy and pleasure. It was also the only thing that you would respond to, that made you alive again. We have decided that you should live a long time, and we are going to do all we can to keep you with us."

I could feel Cindy nod in agreement as Janie laid her head on my open shoulder. "I love you both. You are both the only reason I am still alive. But you are also my daughters, and it is wrong to have sex with you, with either one of you." I hugged Janie, gently. "Thank you for what you have done, but I can't use you like that. It's wrong."

Janie's' head flew up. "No it's not wrong! It's beautiful, and warm, you make me feel so safe and loved. Nothing that feels so wonderful and makes me so happy could be wrong! I don't care about the stupid laws, or what other people might say. It is MY choice to come to your bed. MY CHOICE! You are a good, and tender, and giving, and loving daddy. And I will be in your bed tonight, holding you, loving you, letting you know how much you are truly needed." Her eyes were on fire as she spoke to me. "I've been on the pill for over six months now, so worry about getting me pregnant isn't a concern either."

I pulled her back onto my shoulder. "I love you too, sweetheart. But I'm OK now, you don't have to keep doing that." I chuckled. "Your not only young enough to be my daughter, you legally ARE my daughter. One thing that good daughters are supposed to do is obey their fathers, so tonight you stay in your own bed." I wanted to ask how she got on birth control, but decided against it.

Before Janie could respond Cindy asked, "Will you please come tuck me in tonight, daddy? Please?"

I sighed. "OK, Sunshine. I'll tuck you in tonight. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you both. I promise to do better." I could feel Janie 'Humph.'

We got up and did regular Saturday things, and that night I took my girls to a movie as a treat. I tucked them both in with kisses, and took my pill before bedtime. I woke up spooned against a very sexy girl, my morning erection threatening to cloud my judgment. I hadn't dreamed, though. I rolled out of bed, and swatted her bare behind, waking Janie abruptly.

"Hey!"

"Morning. Now go to your own bed like a good daughter." I went into my bathroom and performed my morning routine.

I fixed breakfast for my girls, and gently scolded Janie for disobeying me.

She smiled. "We've already told you, I'm going to be in your bed at night. This is the only thing we will disobey you in, my loving daddy." Cindy was nodding her agreement with Janie. This could be rough.

That night the girls went to bed earlier (school night), and I locked my door before taking my pill. I could feel Janie's' breasts against my back her nipples hard as she held me in her dreams as well as in my bed. I gently rolled over to face her, and kissed her lips softly to waken her.

"Good morning, sweetheart. I'm not going to ask how you got in here. Go back to you own bed, darling." I watched her as she grumped her way out the door.

That night I didn't lock my door, but I also didn't take a pill. It didn't matter. I was roused to a waking dream; I could feel the pleasure as her mouth surrounded me. It was warm, wet, insistent that I give in to the demand, to release my hold and fall into the delight my release would bring. I spoke her name, crying out 'Janie!' just as I woke and my orgasm was upon me. I could feel her tongue on me and hear her swallow my spend as she stayed with my pleasure.

When she was certain I had finished, Janie gave my deflating penis a last kiss, and rose to lie upon me. "I hope you enjoyed that, it was the first time I did it. Did I do it right? Can I make it better for you, my loving daddy? Please tell me."