"Will you really do it?" I asked my brother Jack.

"Will you really help me to commit suicide?"

"If that's what you really want, then yes; I'll get you the stuff, and I'll stay here with you 'til the end." Jack whispered.

'Here' is Savannah, Georgia, just like any other place, 'cept maybe hotter and more humid.

What led up to this decision to end it all?

It all started last Spring, when I was a senior in high school looking forward to a modeling career.

I was offered an audition in Atlanta, which is toward the Northwest portion of the state, Savannah being in the Southeast corner, near Hilton Head, So. Carolina.

Being afraid to fly, I took the 'safe' way and went by train.

Not halfway there, with me enjoying the breeze, sticking my head out the left side window, some idiot in a fuel truck failed to beat a crossing gate!

What happened is that the truck exploded on impact by the train, sending shards of metal in all directions.

I was caught unawares, but I noticed a flash from my periphery. I recoiled back inside the window, but it was too late!

A shard had gotten me, slicing off a piece of my cheek, severing a nerve.

I was the only one on the train to suffer an injury, and you can't sue for lost wages that never had a chance to happen, in the first place!

The hideous disfigurement made everyone who saw me cringe. I couldn't even go back to school, finishing via tutors.

I couldn't get a job. Ugly doesn't sell.

Just when we needed money, I became a burden, at home, although mom & dad could never quite come out and say it.

Jack was away at college when this all happened, and when school finished, he was there for me, and only him.

He tried to reassure me that there would be plenty of opportunities, but nothing could drag me outta my despondency.

Jack tried appealing to my former vanity and reminded me that I still had the body that had the boys lining up, trying to get my cherry, but I couldn't even get the time of day now, much less laid!

I could sense the whole family was now burdened by me and for the first time, I thought seriously about ending it all.

When I first hinted to Jack that life was over for me, he hugged me dearly, and was that the beginnings of a boner I detected on him...for his own sister?

Although it momentarily made me feel alive, I chalked it up to the emotions of the moment and let it pass.

But to me, Jack had effectively proven that even HE didn't care that much about me by agreeing to get the drugs for my overdose. I'm certain I'll go through with it, and teach them all.

So, on this hot and humid August night, just two weeks shy of my eighteenth birthday, Jack came into my room around midnight.

We went through the checklist: Will, note, personal inventory.

Jack suggested I take a real hot bath, which I had completed just before bed. He said it would make the effects take hold more quickly.

What it really did was make me hot and sweaty, so I removed my nightgown and just lay there naked, under the sheet.

When Jack snuck in, he only had a pair of cutoffs on, no shirt or socks.

I expected a bottle of pills, but he told me that he ground it up into powder so it could be mixed with water and taken in one 'glug'. He claimed that's how Marilyn Monroe did it.

[Ed. note: He lied!]

Jack tried to talk me out of this, one last time saying, "Jenny, you have so much to live for. Look what you do to me!" And with that, he shucked his pants and showed me his rampant eight inches of man meat, pointing at me like some 'water witch'.

Shocked, I told him, "Stop, Jack! You know you can't do this. They'll know you were involved. You'll get fucked worse than Kevorkian did."

He said, "Okay, but let me cuddle with you. Your adrenalin will speed up the process, even more."

The crap tasted like, well, crap! But I did finish it. I thought there would be more to it than that.

Jack crawled in bed with me and when I felt his penis up against my butt crack, I knew he hadn't put his shorts back on.

Jack had his arm around me so that his hand sort of found my breast, as we lay on our sides. His forearm supported my other breast and suddenly the nipples were erecting like Jack's penis.

I asked my brother how long this was going to take, and he said, "All drugs need approximately twenty minutes to begin to take effect.

So, I just closed my eyes and let Jack whisper fond memories to me.

He said, "Remember when we were little kids and mom caught me doing this to you?"

I giggled, "Yeah. It felt like you were gonna put that thing into my hiney, but you were just rubbing it between my buttcheeks. It was only ten years ago."