This week’s art assignment was Pink Hats. As usual, Harker was clueless. “Pink hats?” he complained. “Niah, I thought Moch said ‘Pink Cats.’ That stupid English accent of his. I think it’s an affectation. I think he’s no more British than Alice in Wonderland.”

Rather than attempt to disabuse Harker of his stupidity, I told him about this children’s book I really loved called “Monkey See, Monkey Do.” “So naturally when I think of hats I think of that book. See, the monkeys steal the old guy’s hats. He had dozens of them stacked up on his head.” I showed Harker my first sketch.

“Cute monkey,” he said.

“I’m glad you think so,” I said, and I showed him the second sketch.

“Hey, wait a minute.”

I had to chuckle. “It’s pink hats, not pink cats or pink hat, so I had to get at least one more hat in the picture. And your penis cap is certainly pink.”

“Yeah but...” Harker put in.

“Monkey certainly seems interested,” I went on.

“He’s not going to suck me, is he?” Harker asked.

“Who says he’s a he?” I said. “Yours is the only penis in evidence. And that monkey’s got a big mouth and a nice long tongue. Probably could get all of your cock and balls inside while at the same time licking your asshole.”

“Boy or girl monkey, I’m not...”

“Don’t worry,” I interrupted him. “Here’s the third sketch.”

“Now that’s more like it,” Harker exclaimed.

“Even though my tongue’s not long enough to tickle your asshole while I suck you off?”

“Humpf,” Harker humpf’d. I could tell he was thinking about it. “So what’s with the pink socks?”

“Didn’t want you to get cold feet,” I said. “Besides, I was anticipating the next assignment.”

“Pink socks?”

“Yeah, but with Moch’s British accent it might come out ‘pink sucks.’”

Harker laughed. “So, for the final version are we going to enact the third sketch?”

“Not exactly,” I said.

“Then what are we going to do?”

I said, “I’m thinking of a trip to the zoo.”