(a sublime satire of porn myth)

Pearl Halley sat with her son on their comfortable sofa in the living room. Den had already guessed he would need to pay good attention. Looking around at the sofa and the coffee table, he noticed they were especially tidy. Architecture magazines were stacked neatly. Cushions sat straight in a row. The TV was dusted and the glass looked crystal clear. Even the air smelled scrubbed. Closed curtains hung wrinkle free and the stereo system gleamed like fine dinnerware. The aftermath of his birthday party had been completely swept away.

"Den, now that you're eighteen, I feel it's right to tell you about celibacy."

"Oh mom, I know all about that."

"I'm sure the public school has covered the subject as required by law, but I'm much more worried about what your friends might say. There is a lot of dangerous misinformation being passed around as truth. Besides it's important for parents to discuss these things with their children. At this stage in your life, your life might depend upon knowing the honest facts."

"You mean, like, celibacy isn't only for religious nuts who can't accept the idea that humans are evolved from animals?"

His mother smiled. "Why yes! I'm so glad we didn't have to beat around the bush." She continued. "You see, that was an example of a half-truth. Yes, celibacy can be abused by men and women seeking spiritual transcendence, but it's far more complicated that than."

"Yeah? Tommy Anderson told me he was celibate, but later I caught him masturbating in front of his sister. He said that didn't count. She liked to tease his cock with her mouth and then fuck her pussy with an eight inch, black dildo just to spite his celibacy."

"It's easy to get confused. Do you have any questions before I go over the basics?"

"Umm, yeah I guess. When did celibacy begin?"

"It was long ago, when mankind realized it couldn't be fucking every minute of the day. Food was plentiful, and human beings were pretty much safe from most predators. One day, a brave woman was sucking on her son's prick when she pulled away before the poor boy could fill her mouth with warm cum. Maybe her ass hurt from the domesticated animal that was pumping its trained cock up her shitter, but some say she was struck by a thought that had never occurred to anybody before.

"'Son,' She said, 'I think I'll go for a walk by myself.'

"Of course, lions ate her, but the son remembered that day, when for the first time, as he was just about to cum, his mother took her mouth off of his bursting cock. Some say he simply jacked himself off or got the animal to lick it until his milky juice squirted out, but I believe the professors of sexual anthropology and their theory that he simply let his cock slowly soften and shrink. He stood up and looked around at the simple sprawl of bodies writhing in different positions from various sex acts. Perhaps he wondered where he might fit himself in, but he must have been somewhat concerned for his mother. It's only natural. He certainly must have been looking forward to sticking his young prick into her savage pussy and fuck her until she screamed in ecstasy. But she had gone.

"Maybe he scratched his head or his disappointed balls, but it's pretty clear that the sun set, and his mother did not return. No doubt, orphan that he was, the remaining tribe members included them in their continuous escapades of sucking, fucking, cumming, and testing out new animals.

"However the idea had been born, and as insane as it must have sounded then, there's one thing, aside from natural lust, we also know about people. They like to pretend.

"The boy grew into a man and he spawned a new generation, daughters and sons all ready to plunge headlong in to daily sex life. But as a precaution, he told them about the day his mother walked away from sex only to be eaten by lions. Certainly none of them would ever be so foolish.

"But the human being is a curious creature, and wont to test every conceivable idea for potential excitement. Imagine the young daughter sucking on one of her brothers' happy dicks while taking her father in her cunt and the other brother in her ass. (Oh, I see you are imagining it...) Suddenly she decided to stop all her sucking and pushing back against the hot meat filling her belly and guts. Doubtless, many seconds passed as the men continued to push in and out of her three holes, perhaps minutes passed. Eventually they realized the wonton receptacle of their impending, orgasmic jets had changed her character. This was new and puzzling. What was the matter? Was she feeling all right? Had someone failed to please her? Everything had been progressing so wonderfully a few moments before.

"Then they heard her giggle! She had invented teasing, and aren't you glad for that you naughty product of my womb?"

Pearl's son was nearly drooling. He began to wonder how long this story was. Always at school, his teacher would walk along the rows and give hand jobs and pork to her students as she recited the lessons. Den never had to listen so patiently before. His emotions climbed to a whole new level of arousal waiting for his mother to finish her story.

Pearl smiled but her eyes sparkled with wicked delight. After all, there's no better way to teach than to demonstrate.

"News of that event swirled around the tribe like water. After only a couple generations, everyone, especially the girls, tried to catch their various lovers off their guard just long enough to confuse and arouse them to greater passions. It was the greatest step for mankind that had happened since man had appeared on the planet. Tribe after tribe, from continent to continent the new experience spurred humanity to delights never before discovered."

"Gee, and I thought teasing was just mean." Den fidgeted on the couch.

"Not at that time, but after ages of joy and peace, there came a terrible day. The enlightenment of celibacy was struck dark by an evil man who thought only of his own pleasure at the expense of others. Nobody knows his name, but forever will he be cursed.

Pearl fixed her gaze upon her son and deliberately paused till his attention was absolute.

"There once occurred a great celebration for a tribal chieftain. His daughter had reached the time of her first breeding, and therefore a contest was held to see who would raise the child her father had naturally bred upon her.

The contest was such that every man of the village would stand before the daughter who was spread eagle and tied to a totem pole by leather thongs. The man who waited longest before stuffing his prick into her wide open cunt would be the winner.

"Now it is known that men and women at that time could wait only a couple minutes before their years of sexual conditioning overtook their will. And the chief's daughter was the most beautiful woman in the village! So it was doubly hard to resist humping right into her dripping pussy. The chief himself was prepared to rescue his daughter from any man who might hold out longer than than she could, but only for two men did he have to comfort her overheated cunt. Dozens of other villagers simply banged her at first sight, while others failed to resist longer than one cup of water through the clock.

"The two men who managed to resist the longest used two, very different means of preserving their sanity in view of the most exciting woman of their time. The first resorted to jacking off, like several others had, but instead of finally burying his jet of cum right into her pussy as nature obviously intended, he spewed her face with a full load of boiling jism!

"Needless to say, it caused quite a stir. Of course, every man knew the experience of injecting hot spunk into a woman or animal's mouth or ass before. Their society still wondered if filling those holes might impregnate or produce some mythological creature like a centaur, but this thing of ejaculating quarts of fresh cum onto the woman's face had never occurred before. It was considered so exciting of an invention, the chief fully expected to give his daughter to this ingenious young man.

"But not all the contestants had been given their chance. One last man remained to attempt to resist the beautiful daughter's charms. The villagers suddenly laughed. This man who approached the bound figure of perfection, he was known as the village idiot who often interrupted mating pairs at the moment of their mutual orgasm and steal their cum into his own mouth or ass right from the intended partner. They were sure he would not be able to withstand the girl's helplessness any longer than a viper could withstand the opportunity to poison a fawn.

"Unfortunately, this man was no idiot. However, the evil of thievery had claimed his soul. He stood in front of the chief's daughter and showed her his cock, but to the horror of the village, the man had none! The day before he had cut off his manhood and seared it with a burning torch.

"With an dreadful laugh, he threw the carcass of his ugly cock at his leader's feet and claimed that forever would he not fuck the chief's daughter, and if his leader was an honorable man he would do as he promised and give his daughter to him.

"The village was outraged and probably would have supported whatever punishment the chief saw fit, but it was the daughter who decided the matter.

"'Father, I love you more than my own life, and I cannot allow this beast to impugn your dignity. I shall become his woman, but I promise that the child you seeded unto me will be a daughter, and since you only promised that I was the prize of this contest, our daughter will belong to the true winner of this day.' and she bowed her cum dripping head at the handsome young man who had uniquely blessed her with his seed."

"NO! Mother that's horrible. Tell me it didn't happen that way!" Den jumped up with a anguished look on his face. "Tell me the good man was able to steal the woman back."

"Ah, but then the good man would have resorted to the ways of his enemy." Pearl told her son sincerely. "There is a reason that I waited for your 18th birthday to tell you this story. You are old enough to learn the whole truth about celibacy."

Den thought about it and he knew his mother was right. With a saddened face he sank back into the soft couch cushions.