Monday, Monday

“Mu – u – um!” The Little Miss’s voice floated through from the back of the unit.

I paused halfway through stuffing lunchboxes into backpacks.

“What is it, Cass?” I shouted at the wall that divided the kitchenette from the bedrooms.

“Denny won’t put his clothes on,” came the plaintive reply.

I sighed.

“Well, never mind,” I yelled. “I’ll sort him out after breakfast. You both better come and eat now, or you’ll run out of time.”

Some footsteps hurried down the hall and Cass emerged, dressed nicely in her school uniform. She was leading Denny, who was as naked as the day he was born. I can vouch for that – I was there.

I flipped a towel off the drying rack and laid it onto Denny’s chair seconds before he propped himself up onto it. Cass slid into her own chair and scowled at me as if I were responsible for everything that was wrong with the world. The two of them quickly got stuck into their cereal.

“Mum? How come you aren’t angry at Denny for being naked?” asked Cass.

I shrugged. “My mother told me I was always running around like that when I was little,” I replied. “I don’t remember it much, but Ma always laughs about it when she tells me. I can hardly criticise Denny for doing exactly what I used to do.”

“Huh,” said the Little Miss. She stopped eating while she thought about that. “Did I do that when I was little?”

I looked at Cass, remembering.

“Not so much. There were a few times back when you were in nappies that you got up and ran off when we were halfway through changing you but not when you were Denny’s age. You liked your clothes way too much to ever take them off. As a matter of fact, I remember a few fights we had, when you didn’t want to take a bath because it meant taking your clothes off. We thought maybe you were being shy.”

“I remember that,” she said. “I wasn’t being shy or nothing. My clothes were pretty and I liked wearing them, that’s all.”

I nodded acceptance and grabbed a wet cloth so that I could clean up Denny’s face and chest where he’d dripped milk and cornflakes.

“Now Little Man,” I said, holding Denny’s chin so that he was forced to look at me. “They won’t let you into school if you’re not dressed. Not to mention, it’s really, really cold outside, so you’d turn into an icicle before you even got to school. Now let’s get you ready.”

Denny grumbled but allowed me to lead him down to his room and help him into his school uniform.

A very short time later, I escorted him to the front door of the unit. Cass was already waiting there, wearing her jacket and beanie and with her backpack on her back. I got Denny’s jacket onto him while Cass crammed his beanie onto his head and held his backpack ready for him to slip on.

We walked together out to the letterboxes lined up in a row outside our block of units.

“Have a good day at school, I love you,” I said as I kissed Denny. “Love you too,” Denny mumbled.

“I love you, Little Miss Cass,” I said and gave Cass a kiss and a quick hug.

“I love you, Mum,” said Cass with a warm smile. “Have a good day.”

I waved as Cass and Denny walked down the path alongside Canyon St. I felt a warm little glow in my heart as I watched them walk away. They looked so cute, holding hands and talking to each other. Further along the street, I could see a steady stream of children converging on the gates for the Canyon St School. It didn’t take long for my two to disappear into the general crowd.

I was feeling good as I walked back up the path. “Monday morning,” I said to myself. “You’re so good to me.”

Mississippi

Back inside, I slumped into my chair. I nibbled on a piece of toast and sipped on a cup of tea I’d made earlier, enjoying a moment of quiet. My tea was lukewarm, but that wasn’t enough to dent my good mood.

I heard a small thump as The Lady Mississippi leapt up onto the counter and checked to see that her person was present.

I nodded my head to her. “Good morning, My Lady,” I greeted her. “Yes, the noisy ones are gone. It’s just you and me.”

Mississippi prowled along the length of the counter and leapt down again to check her bowl. Then she yowled at me to remind me that I needed to perform the miracle of the food. I jumped up and opened a can of cat food, used a fork to mash it up a bit, and scraped it into her bowl.

“There you go, My Lady,” I said. “I hope that pleases you.”

Mississippi immediately started nibbling at her food so I took that as an answer and sat back down to finish my breakfast.

I’d finished my toast and was sipping on the last of my tea when Her Ladyship stopped eating and walked over to rub herself against my calf. Then she stalked over into the living area and lay down on the rug in front of the gas heater. Her head was up and her ears were pricked as she watched me and listened for anything I might do or say.

My tea and toast finished, I started tidying up and wiping away the evidence of breakfast. There was some food left in the cat bowl so I put a cover on it and put it away for later.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly time for me to start work. “Well, My Lady, it’s that time again,” I said.

Mississippi lay her head down and slumped into a boneless mass of fur that resembled more of a thick puddle of gloop than a cat.

“Like molasses in the summertime,” I thought, with a chuckle.

Twelve Thirty

I sat down at the computer desk in the living room and logged in to work. I adjusted the headset, checked the mic was working, and then clicked to take my first caller. The next few hours I was busy working the IT help desk for my company.

After snoozing for a while, Mississippi started playing with one of her toys – a largish ball with a little bell inside. Every time it came near me, I kicked it away with my feet and Mississippi would chase and pounce on it. She would worry it for a while and then start pushing it around. Eventually, it would end up near me and I would kick it away and start the whole process again.

The first couple of hours of work went smoothly, but then the system started glitching. I tried the usual things and quickly identified that the problem was at the company and not with me. I sent an alert to the IT tech crew and saw that several other alerts had also been sent. The board was lit up, and I continued trying to take calls but the glitching made it too difficult to process them properly – not to mention that most of the calls were to complain about the glitches in the system.

Mississippi jumped into my lap and demanded some attention, so I scratched her back. At the same time, I used my other hand to put a short message on the help desk board saying that we were aware of a problem with the system and asking for patience. I took off the headset and cuddled with Her Ladyship while I waited for the issue to be resolved.

Eventually, the tech crew sent out a message saying they would have to shut down the system so they could work on the problem. It sounded like something serious as they said they expected it to be down for the rest of the day. That meant I had an unexpected half-day off work.

I logged off and looked around. The clock said twelve-thirty. In the distance, I heard the faint sound of the twelve-thirty bell at the school.

Draping Mississippi over my shoulder, I walked into the kitchenette and put the kettle on so I could make a cup of tea.

Mississippi squirmed and I put her down on the bench. I took out her bowl and uncovered it and she immediately started eating the leftovers from her breakfast. Then I grabbed a jacket and headed outside to check for any mail.

Other letterboxes had mail sticking out, but ours was empty. As I straightened up after checking, I saw a little procession turning out of Creque Alley into our street. It looked like a teacher was leading one of the older classes as they walked back from the Secondary School. They sometimes took the older classes there for science lessons, or high school orientation sessions, or whatever. I looked to see if this was Cass’s class but all I could see was a double row of colourful beanies and bulky jackets holding hands with little legs trotting underneath. Cass saw me before I saw her because one of the jackets started waving at me. I smiled and waved back, which got a responding wave from some of Cass’s friends – who I could pick out of the crowd, now that they were closer, then the whole class was waving as they walked past me on the opposite side of the street.

All of those young boys and girls, going into Canyon Street School, being so friendly. I called out “Good morning,” forgetting that it was already past the middle of the day and kept waving until the column had reached the crossing and made their way across the street, into the school and out of sight.

Blueberries for Breakfast

The kettle had boiled so I poured a cup of tea and let it sit while I decided what I wanted for lunch. That’s when I noticed a bowl of blueberries I’d washed and drained that morning, intending to sprinkle a few on the cereal for the kids and then have the rest myself for breakfast. I’d completely forgotten about them.

Oh well, a slathering of yoghurt and a sprinkle of crumbled dried cereal over the top turned them into a simple meal. Who says you can’t have breakfast at lunchtime?

The blueberries were bursting with freshness and the tangy taste of the yoghurt offset their sweetness perfectly.

As I ate my breakfast of blueberries and sipped my tea, I thought back to the morning and my conversation with Cass. I’d told her I only had vague memories, but now that I was thinking about it, I remembered more. I closed my eyes and I could almost see my sister and I running around naked, dancing to music and lazing in the sun without a stitch on. My mother had told me that she’d tried to keep us dressed, but Anita had kept on encouraging us to get naked every time we visited, much to Ma’s frustration. My grandparents – they insisted we call them Anita and Ronnie – were classic hippies and it seemed that all my memories of them were intertwined with the music of the 60s and the smell of incense and casual nudity. I remember wearing beads in our hair and making tie-died dresses to wear into town. It all seemed so long ago.

But then Anita had died and within maybe two years, Ronnie had changed from a wild, fun-loving guy, into a shrivelled old husk of a man who sat in his recliner and barely acknowledged us when we visited. That was the end of our hippie era. The nudity went away, along with the incense and the tie-died clothing.

California Dreamin’

I cleaned up after lunch and strolled into my bedroom. A little Noisy Miner Bird was perched on the branches of the tree outside my window and was chirping happily to itself. It must have seen the movement through the window because it cut off its song and flapped away.

A few lifeless brown leaves still hung from the branches, silhouetted against the grey clouds that filled the sky.

I found myself singing:

All the leaves are brown,
And the sky is grey.
I went for a walk,
On a winter’s day.

I stopped suddenly as a memory hit me. I remembered that exact song playing loudly as my sister and I swung each other around in circles, our skin flushed red from the exertion and our faces full of joy. We were both naked and dancing in Anita and Ronnie’s house. As we swung, I could remember Anita and Ronnie dancing and singing along to the song with great enthusiasm. They were naked as well, of course. Then we swung further, and my parents came into view. They must have bowed to pressure and taken off their clothes as well for they danced and sang along with the rest of us. I’d forgotten they sometimes joined in like that.

California Dreamin’
On such a winter’s day.

Somebody Groovy

Deep in my memories, I moved across the room and stood in front of my full-length mirror. My reflection gazed back at me with a serious expression on her face. That little girl dancing in the nude was gone. I decided I looked like a mum. I was wearing mum clothes, had a mum hairstyle, and had a mum bod.

On an impulse, I started shedding my clothes, my very mum-style clothes. One piece at a time, I tossed them aside, until I had exposed the real me. All of me.

I ran a critical eye up and down my reflection. When Cass was born, I’d been able to fairly quickly regain my youthful shape. But recovering from Denny’s birth had been another matter. It seemed like the pooch in my tummy was here to stay, and the faint pattern of white stretch marks wasn’t going away either. My thighs and hips had thickened and my arms were just a little bit flabby.

I hefted my boobs in my hands. After two pregnancies, they’d gained a size and a half and a noticeable sag.

Alistair had told me over and over that he loved the way I looked. Even after Denny, he still gazed at me with adoration in his eyes.

“I need somebody groovy,” he’d told me. “And you have all the groove I need. I’ve found you and I’m not letting you go.”

Well, he didn’t let me go. But he was ripped away from me by a drunk teenager with a fetish for fast cars. After nearly three years the grief was still raw. I stood there and hugged myself until the emotion subsided.

The door shifted as Her Ladyship stalked into the room. Having established that her person was here, Mississippi leapt onto my bed and sniffed my discarded top which was lying there. Then she curled up on top of it and started licking her back leg.

I smiled down at her. Life goes on, she was telling me. She was still here, and she still needed her person. My kids still needed me too. Sometimes they needed a mum, but maybe sometimes they needed somebody groovy.

My reflection pointed at me and said, “Somebody groovy.”

I tried to look at myself the way Alistair might have seen me. My hair was still shiny, my skin was still clear and mostly smooth. I looked like a grown woman, with curves where a grown woman should have curves. I looked like I had experience and confidence and maturity. Next to the memories I had of my parents and grandparents from when they would dance in the nude, I didn’t stack up too badly. I wasn’t twenty any more, but I didn’t look that bad – all things considered.

I missed those days of dancing with my grandparents. I missed being young and innocent and free of cares and worries. Back then, I’d known nothing about stretch marks or mortgages or school lunches or grief or jobs.

I laughed at myself and spun on the spot. What was there to get sad about really? Stretch marks and mortgages and school lunches and grief and jobs are a part of life. Without them, how would we know we were alive? Who said that I wasn’t allowed to enjoy my life? I decided I should make the most of my opportunities to sing and dance and be free.

Dancing In The Street

I skipped down the hallway, actually skipping like I hadn’t done since I was a child. Then I burst out laughing because I had to hold my boobs to stop them from bouncing. I must have looked ridiculous, trying to skip while holding onto my boobs.

In the living room, I said in a clear voice, “Computer! Play The Mamas and the Papas. Full Playlist. Randomize.”

There was a brief pause before the speaker burst into life, playing The Mamas and The Papas’ cover of Dancing In The Street. Yes, I know the David Bowie and Mick Jagger version is better known. But that wasn’t the version I grew up with.

“Computer! Increase Volume.”

I danced and laughed and danced some more. I wasn’t brave enough to dance out in the street the way the song was challenging me too, especially while I was naked, but I figured dancing in my living room was perfectly fine.

I sang along to the occasional line – when I remembered them:

The time is right for dancing in street,

And then:

All we need is music, sweet music

And so on.

The second song that came on was California Dreamin’ and I spun myself back into the memories of my childhood with my sister and my parents and my grandparents.

Look through my window

It was halfway through the third song (Dancing Bear) and I was happily swaying back and forth near the big floor-to-ceiling window. I glanced out and straight into the eyes of Brian Mackleforth. He was a divorcee a few years older than me, who lived in the opposite unit. He’d obviously been out on his little balcony tending the small collection of pot plants he kept there, but now he was just staring with a startled expression on his face.

I squealed and ducked out of view and then slid down the wall as my legs buckled under me. My heart was racing.