Colonial Militia Cactus - Cover

Colonial Militia Cactus

by CreepyUnclePete

Copyright© 2025 by CreepyUnclePete

Science Fiction Story: Centuries in the future, lonely men on far away worlds screw plants, with unexpected results.

Caution: This Science Fiction Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma   Consensual   Mind Control   Heterosexual   Fiction   Science Fiction   Aliens   Space   .

CAUTION - no matter what you expect, this won’t be it. I originally wrote this as a creativity exercise.

A friend’s comment after reading this was, “Whatever you’re high on, bring me some.”


“Astrophytum eros” is the Latin species name, but it’s commonly called the “Colonial Militia Cactus”. It and its offshoot species are among the most widespread plants in the universe now. It rivals pine, oak, corn, and rice in popularity. That fact goes firmly against common sense, since it’s bitter and toxic if eaten and next to useless as a building material.

Instead of growing tall like trees, it spreads out along the ground, rarely growing more than shoulder high. Ancient specimens sometimes cover up to a fifty-meter square area. The juice is a mild hallucinogen, and a few adventurous students attempted to ingest it as a drug. They deeply regretted their experiment as they laid in a hospital violently ill for days. Its popularity is exclusively the result of its shape and texture.

The plant’s ancestor species, “Astrophytum cavitum”, had evolved small cavities around its perimeter which wasps would inhabit. The space provided them with a comfortable refuge, and their waste fertilized the plant. When an herbivore would attempt to eat the cactus, the wasps would fly out and attack to protect their home. Both species benefited, and a long-term symbiotic relationship developed between them. Being protected by aggressive insects, the cacti no longer needed their spines, and lost them over hundreds of generations. In addition, the wasps frequently spread the plant’s seeds around and get more living space as a reward.

The Colonial Militia Cactus is one of the few species that have been well-studied as they evolved over hundreds of generations. There is a recording of the very first individual of the species “Astrophytum eros” being discovered by a human, though the video is totally unsuitable for a documentary. After being stationed at a remote observation post for three years with no female companionship, some Colonial Militiaman discovered the plant, and one of them had inappropriate relations with it on a dare. He enjoyed it so much, the rest of the squad followed his example.

The “eros” species has cavities the size, shape, and texture of a human vagina. Wasps are unable to live in them, since the size and shape is so different from what they’re used to. The offspring from the first plant were highly prized by military men stationed at remote bases. Some would offer up to a month’s pay for only a few seeds.

 
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