Chapter 6: Hemp Hump

The yellow brick road lead around a bend, and to the crest of a small hill. At the top of the hill, Dorothy and her companions looked ahead to see the Emerald City of Oz on the horizon.

"It's so beautiful! And CLOSE!" Dorothy exclaimed.

The companions resumed their journey with renewed vigor. They practically skipped down the yellow brick pathway.

The Wicked Witch of the West gazed into her crystal ball.

"Ah, yes,... yes!" she cried. "Perfect! This will slow her down!"

She waved her hands over the crystal, and chanted in a low, gutteral tone.

"Look!" shouted Dorothy, pointing off to the left of the pathway. "Aren't the flowers lovely?"

Dorothy left the path, and wandered through the red flowers. "What kind of flowers are these, anyway?"

"I believe they're poppies," the Scarecrow said, wrinkling his forehead.

"Poppies... ? I haven't seen any so big before." Dorothy picked one of the blossoms. A thick, white sap bubbled up on the broken stem.

The others gathered around her as she sniffed the poppy. "Not much scent," she commented.

"That's not what makes these valuable," the Lion smirked.

"What do you mean?" Dorothy asked.

"These are opium poppies," the Lion said.

"Leave it to the vegetarian Lion," the Tin Man grinned.

"Opium..." Dorothy mused. "How do you..."

"Forget it," the Lion snapped. "It takes too long. You want to get to the Emerald City, right?"

"Right," Dorothy nodded. She looked around her. Growing off away from the path was a patch of tall, green plants.

"Now those I recognize," Dorothy said, smiling. She waded off toward the greenery, the others following behind her.

"Yes indeed," she smiled as she neared the plants.

"So what's this?" the Tin Man asked.

"Hemp," Dorothy grinned, grabbing one of the tall plants and bending it toward her. "Ganja. Weed. Mary Jane."

"All those names?"

"Marijuana," the Lion said, helpfully.

Dorothy plucked a few choice buds from the top of the plant. She rolled them between her fingers. "Good shit," she grinned broadly.

"Yeah, man," a voice echoed from amongst the plants. "Really good shit."

The Tin Man pushed a couple of hemp plants aside, revealing a tall, thin man, dressed in a green soldier's outfit, with a long, green beard.

He was also wearing dark-lensed granny glasses, and was holding a green glass bong. A thin stream of smoke plumed from the pipe.

"Hi, dudes," the Soldier grinned, weaving a little as he emerged from the plants. "And dudette," he added, looking Dorothy up and down. "Want a hit?"

Dorothy nodded. The Soldier handed her his bong, and Dorothy puffed the chamber full of acrid smoke, then inhaled it. Holding her breath, she passed the bong to the Lion.

"'ere" she croaked, holding as much breath as she could.

The Lion puffed at the pipe expertly and filled his lungs with smoke, and handed the pipe off to the Tin Man, who shrugged and offered it to the Scarecrow.

"No way," the Scarecrow said, backing away. "That's fire."

The Tin Man handed the bong back to the Soldier.

"You don't want any?" the Soldier asked.

The Tin Man shook his head. "Doesn't work for me," he said, sadly. "Used to use it, before..."

The Soldier blinked at him, then said, "Oh, yeah, man... You're made outta metal. Bummer, man."

He took another hit from the bong, and passed it back to Dorothy, who began to fill the chamber with smoke again.

Finally exhaling his smoke, the Soldier asked, "Where are you dudes headed?"

"We're heading to Oz to meet the great Wizard," the Lion said, taking the pipe from Dorothy.

"Oh, the Wiz," the Soldier said. "Know him well."