Chapter 10: There's No Place Like Home!

Dorothy fought off a shudder. She started to climb up on the bed.

"Wait one minute, my dear," the Witch said. "Haven't you forgotten something?"

Dorothy looked puzzled.

"Your clothing, Dorothy. Take off your dress."

"Oh." Dorothy took a deep breath. "O.K."

She lifted her skirt and pulled her dress over her head, standing naked except for her ruby slippers.

"Very pretty, my pretty," the Witch cackled. "Now..." she gestured.

Dorothy slowly climbed into the bed. The Witch took hold of Dorothy's hand, and placed it on her drooping breast.

"So, what they've always said is right," Dorothy said.

"What do you mean?"

"It's cold."

The Witch chuckled softly. She took Dorothy's other hand, and directed it toward her lower lips.

Dorothy's skin crawled as her fingers explored the Witch's mound; the sparse, black hair, the thin, dry lips.

Protruding slightly was a darker, greenish-toned clit.

"Use your mouth... your mouth," the Witch moaned.

Dorothy bent down, and holding her breath, touched the tip of her tongue to the Witch's clit. It was also cold; as if the Witch had no circulation at all. She diddled at the clit without enthusiasm.

After a few moments, the Witch moaned, "Come on, dearie. Turn around here so we can sixty-nine. I want to smell that snatch of yours."

Dorothy grimaced, her face out of sight of the Witch. But she did as she was told, turning to straddle the Witch's face.

The Witch slid her long nose along Dorothy's slit. "Delightful scent..." she muttered.

Dorothy bent down again to tongue the Witch's clit. In this position, she began to feel the intense feeling of a full bladder.

She sat back on her heels, raising herself slightly above the Witch's face.

"I've got an idea of something that might turn you on," Dorothy whispered, huskily.

"Oh yes dearie," the Witch whispered back. "What is it?"

"A golden shower!" Dorothy cried, and let go.

The stream of urine splashed directly into the Witch's face; the Witch screamed.

"What are you doing, you wicked girl? You wicked, nasty girl!"

The Witch sat up; her skin was smoking.

"I'm melting! I'm melting!" she screamed. "I liked it, but I'm melting! Oh! Oh! I'm... coming! I'm coming!"

Dorothy scrambled off the bed, and her companions scrambled out of their hiding places.

"I'm coming! I'm melting! You wicked, wicked girl!" the Witch screamed.

"Imagine that," the Scarcrow laughed. "Coming and going at the same time!"

The Witch collapsed into a heap, rapidly diminishing in size, forming a small, greenish puddle on the bed.

The door to the chamber burst open. Three burly Guardsmen dashed in.

"You've killed her," one of them said. "Three cheers for Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is Dead!"

Dorothy stepped over to the nightstand and picked up the Witch's pointed hat. As she lifted it, a small, silver cap dropped out of it. She picked it up.

She also picked up the Witch's black dildo, which was lying on the floor.

"May we?" she addressed the guard, holding up the two items.

"Please do," the Guardsman said. "And take them with you."

Dorothy and her companions filed out of the room, accompanied by the cheering Guardsmen.

Outside the room, perched on the railing of the balcony, was the King of the Flying Monkeys. Dorothy stepped up to him, and held out the silver cap.

The King took the cap from her gravely, put it on his head, then grinned broadly.

"Thank you, fair lady," he said. "I promise -- cap or no cap -- I am at your service forever." He bowed to Dorothy.

Dorothy curtsied.

"How about a lift back to the Emerald City?" the Scarecrow asked.

"Absolutely," the Monkey King grinned.

The Flying Monkeys set the four companions and the little dog gently on the ground inside the walls of the Emerald City.

Dorothy released her hold around the neck of the Monkey King, and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," the Monkey King grinned. "Anytime you need me, just call me. I'm in the book."

The Flying Monkeys took off.

The foursome marched up to the palace doors. The Soldier with the Green Beard blocked their path.

"Sorry, the Wizard is indisposed."

"Out of the way, pinhead," the Lion blustered.

"We've just returned from the Western lands," Dorothy said, standing stiffly in front of the Soldier. "I destroyed the Wicked Witch of the West, and I'll be damned if you're going to stop me from seeing the Wizard now."

"How about a little piece?" the Soldier asked.

Dorothy grimaced. "Maybe later. We've got business with the Wizard."

She pushed the Soldier to one side, and marched past him. Her three companions followed along behind her.

Dorothy stormed up the corridor, up the steps, and stood in the great hall. The flames were there, the throne was there, but the Head was not.

Dorothy stood, her hands on her hips, while her companions caught up with her.

There was a small curtain off to one side of the room that she had not noticed before. And there was a muttering sound coming from it.

Dorothy walked over to the curtain and drew it aside. A short, bald-headed man was fussing over some kind of electronic equipment, marked with the letters I.B.M.

"Goddamn it," he muttered. "I can't get this damned Windows 95 installed to save my..." he turned and saw Dorothy and the others staring at him.

"You know anything about computers?" he asked.

"Who are you?" Dorothy asked, hands on hips.

"Oh," the man shrugged. "I'm the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz."

"He looks a lot smaller," the Scarecrow commented.

The Tin Man handed Dorothy a wrapped package. She pulled off the wrapping and handed the Wizard the object within.

"Oh, my," the Wizard said, turning the object over in his hands. "What is this?"

"This is the dildo of the Wicked Witch of the West," Dorothy shouted. "You made promises, mister, and you're going to live up to them!"