Chapter 43

"Will you just leave me alone?" snapped Ryan.

"God! I'm just trying to help," responded Darius.

"Well you're not helping, okay? You're just fucking making it worse! I don't want another girlfriend right now. I don't want another girlfriend!"

"What, are you gonna spend the rest of your life alone because of Jen? How about when she invites you to her wedding? Are you gonna bring a date or will you still be hoping she comes back to you? Wake up, Harper! She's not gonna come back to you!"

"I don't think she is, aright! But maybe I don't want another girlfriend right now! And you're bugging me about this Jody chick. So fucking knock it off, will ya?"

"God. It's just that Jen's getting on with her life, and it just bugs me to see you all by yourself and lonely and shit."

"I'm not by myself and lonely. I've got enough fucking friends! Just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't fucking make me lonely."

"Aright! I mean, I know it sucks and stuff, but you should just consider asking someone to Prom just as a friend. You gotta go, man. It won't be Prom if you're not there."

"No. I don't want to go. I will not be going so why don't you just drop it. You've been on my ass since the minute Jen was out the door," Ryan said angrily. "Don't you even fucking understand?"

"Sure, I understand. I told you, I know it sucks."

"You know what Darius, I don't think you do understand. You've never given a shit about anybody. You've never been in love, you know that? You don't even know what love is."

"Man, fuck you. Why do ya gotta get so personal?"

"Because we're talking about personal shit here! And you can't tell me what to do, because we're not in your territory here. You don't know shit about love or loss or anything because you've never even loved. And I'm sick of your shit and you ragging on Jen all the time, like it's supposed to make me feel better if you call my ex-girlfriend a slut or something. So why don't you go out and get some knowledge about the world and a real fucking relationship and then you can come back and maybe I'll listen to you."

"Fuck off Harper. You're so fucking sorry you don't even know how sorry you are. Fuck you!" Darius told him, hanging up.

"No, fuck you!" Ryan yelled as he hung up the phone. "Goddamn fucking prick," he muttered.

Will came running in without knocking, Robby chasing him.

"Ryan!" Will whined. "Robby took the remote control and he won't let me watch what I was watching first! I was there first!"

"Yeah, and then you hit me you little baby!" yelled Robby, pushing him.

Will pushed him back, knocking him against the chair, which fell over. Ryan's books fell onto the floor, his binder opening and papers spilling out.

"Look what you fucking did!" he screamed at his brothers. "Get out of my room!"

"Stupid brat!" Robby yelled at Will, kicking him in the legs.

"You're the brat!" cried Will.

"You're both brats!" Ryan yelled. "I told you, get the fuck out of my room!"

"I'm not a brat!" Will cried.

"Yes you are! Now get out! I never said you could come in here! Get out before I throw you out!"

"I hate you Ryan!" Will yelled at him as he ran out.

"Good! I hate you too!" Ryan yelled back. "Dumb brats!" he yelled at them as he slammed his door.

God! He picked his books up off the floor and threw them on his bed. He stared down at his physics notebook, the one he had gotten from Jen's house after he had taken her home that time. He looked at it, his heart skipping a beat as his eyes ran over Jen's handwriting.

"Wyan is da best," it said. "Jen wuvs Wyan." His eyes filled with tears as he remembered it was old, written one time when he was over there and they were studying. He picked up the notebook and threw it against the wall, papers flying out. It felt good to throw it. But not good enough.

He picked up his math book, a heavy bound book, and threw it at the wall as hard as he could. It made a satisfying thud. He picked up his physics book, and threw it at the wall. He threw all his books, even his small paperback English books, against the wall.

He was on such a high, his anger causing his blood to race through his veins. He felt like driving his car 100 mph, crashing into a brick wall or off a cliff. He imagined his car exploding as it rolled down the cliff, a fiery ball.

He jumped on his bed, scattered with papers, and buried his head in his pillow. He screamed as loud as he could until he went hoarse.