Chapter 42

Jen was depressed still, hating her life and every aspect of it. She felt so alone. Dana didn't call her anymore, well, Jen had been rude to her when she had. Dana's solution to all Jen's problems was : "Get back together with Ryan!" Not, thought Jen. I'd rather go out with fucking Kasey than Ryan.

Kasey was such a prick, she thought. She couldn't believe what a fool she had been. He had called her, but she had gathered up her self-esteem and refused to associate with him anymore. She didn't have anybody in her life anymore. Well, there was Danny who she still talked to. At least he cares about me, she thought painfully. Nobody else does. She felt guilty about what she had said to Matt that day, and the whole thing with him. She kept telling herself he didn't care anymore. It would be conceited to think otherwise, she thought.

She had half a mind to call him, and ask him to come over. Just to see if he would do it. Should she? She was so lonely, maybe he would forgive her for being a bitch and come over. Her parents were gone that night, plus, she reasoned, it's not like she was going to sleep with him again. She began to get nervous as she looked up his number in the book. Then she calmed herself down, knowing how nice he was.

"Hello?" Matt asked.

"Matt? It's Johanna, Lauren's friend."

"Oh, hi."

"Why are you being such a prick to Lauren?"

"What? I'm not."

"You're suck a jerk, I swear. You take her virginity and tell her you love her, and then treat her like this! You never talk to her and you don't call her anymore! Don't you like her?"

"Um, she's nice."

"You're a jerk, aren't you?"

"No. You can think what you want, I don't care."

"Well don't you care what Lauren thinks?"

"Um, not especially."

"Oh my God! You are such a jerk, Matt!" Johanna hung up on him.

Oops, Matt thought. He did care what Lauren thought about him. He did, he just, he didn't know. He guessed he didn't like her much anymore. Of course, he told himself, he had been using her all along. He hadn't ever cared about her.

But he knew he had, though he tried to push that thought out of his mind. Nobody could tell him what to do, not Lauren or Johanna. Even his parents were idiots. So maybe he had used her, so what. People used each other everyday. Jen had used me, he thought bitterly. She used me to piss Ryan off. They're both bitches, he thought angrily. Then he began to get sad, knowing he loved one of those bitches, the one he couldn't have.

The phone rang again.

"Hullo?" he asked.

"Matt?" said a female voice, a voice he knew very well.

"Yeah?" he replied, trying to pretend he didn't know it was her. Maybe it wasn't, he thought.

"Um, it's Jen. How are you?"

"Um, fine."

"That's good."

"How are you?" he asked back, his heart pounding so loudly he could barely hear.

"Aright. So, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, me neither."

"Really? Nothing exciting for you on a Friday night?"

"Nah, nothing goin' on. You're not doing anything either?"

His heart raced. Why was she calling him? Did she like him? "Um, no, nothing."

"Hmm... So, how you been?"

"Fine."

"Yeah... Um, you don't live that far from me, do you wanna come over?"

Was she kidding? Was this some sort of a joke? He wondered if maybe she hated him and there were some guys waiting there to beat him up. "Well, why?" he asked.

She paused. "Oh, I don't know. I'm bored I guess. If you don't want to I don't care. I'm just bored," she repeated.

"Well... " he hesitated. "Sure, I mean, I'm really bored too."

"Well, that's cool. Cool, you know where I live right?"

"Yeah, I know! When?"

"Um, I don't care. Now is fine. Whenever."

"Okay, I'll be over in awhile," he told her casually.

"Aright, I'll see you in a bit."

"Aright. Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up, grinning. He was so happy, she didn't hate him, and she wanted to hang out with him. That must mean she liked him, just as a friend at least.