Chapter 2

Matt walked over to her house in the dusk, smelling of his dad's cologne. He was so happy. He wondered if people looking at him could tell he wasn't a virgin.

He thought about that night. He could just imagine what would happen...

He would walk in and give her a kiss (damn why didn't he get her some flowers? He'd look for a nice one to steal on the rest of the way).

"Hi honey," she'd say.

"Hi sweetheart," he'd answer. Maybe they'd make dinner together? He was really hungry. He knew her parents were out of town a lot, Mike had told him. Mike knew a lot about her, since her best friend was his sister. She was a really good cook he'd heard.

Then maybe they'd do it. Maybe they'd go to a movie after, or before actually. He had $20 in his wallet. He felt embarrassed that she'd have to drive. But, it couldn't be helped.

He turned into her circular driveway. Right away, he knew something was amiss. Dana's black Honda Accord was there. He thought he could hear music.

Dammit, he thought. What's Dana doing here? Slowly, he walked up to her doorstep. Maybe she's about to leave. He wanted to be alone with her, without Dana. He rang the bell. It seemed so strange that he had been there less than 24 hours ago.

His heart leapt to his throat as the doorknob rattled, the door flying open. Dana stood there. She looked him up and down, he swore she did. They were best friends, of course she knew what they'd done. Girls told each other everything.

"Hi Matt," she said.

"Hi," he mumbled.

Dana opened her mouth to say something then closed it. She just looked at him.

"Is she here?" he asked finally.

"Uh, yeah. Come in," she said, stepping aside to let him in.

He followed Dana down the hall to her bedroom. Jen was making her bed he guessed, she had a pillow under her chin and was putting the pillowcase on.

Jen looked beautiful. Matt fought off the desire to jump on her right then. Her hair, freshly washed, shined in the light as it hung down her back. She wore a white t-shirt and cutoff blue jeans, unraveling at the ends. Her legs were so tan. She looked over at him for a second, her eyes cool, no emotion, then turned away, facing the sliding glass door that revealed all their reflections.

"Hey, will you help me with this?" she asked, sounding a little annoyed, stretching the clean sheets across the bed. He realized the sheets must have been really dirty, but an unreasonable part of him was slightly insulted that she washed them, like she was washing him away maybe. He pushed those thoughts aside as he stared at her ass when she bent over, not quite believing that he'd touched it the night before.

He jumped and said, "Who, me?" It was pointless, his words just hung in the air; Dana had already started helping her make the bed.

Matt got that familiar sick feeling in his gut. He felt so isolated from them. Then he felt angry at himself. She didn't want him there, he could feel it. She hadn't even said hi to him. He desperately wanted to leave right then, wanted to run away and hide in his bed. But yet she hadn't done anything mean to him, just hadn't done what he thought she'd do. He hated her for an instant. Then he felt ashamed.

Dana was giving her a look from across the bed, he thought. He couldn't tell what it meant, except possibly, "Well? Aren't you going to acknowledge Matt?" He couldn't see Jen's eyes, her reaction, but he felt vibes (was he paranoid?) that were negative toward him, like she was rolling her eyes, laughing at him.

Matt still stood there, wanting to cry, hating his reflection in the glass. His hair was gelled. God, I must look like a dork, he thought, his vision blurring as he stared at his shoes.

Dana moved, and she left, giving him a slight smile as she walked out of the room. She even closed the door. It was just them.

She still stood with her back to him, no longer making the bed.

"Hi," he began. His voice sounded too high. He sounded like a frickin' girl he thought.

She scratched her head, then ran her fingers through her long hair. She turned around, and she smiled at him, a genuine, warm smile.

His heart leapt, it was okay! He walked toward her. He kissed her, on the cheek though, and hugged her. She didn't hug him back.

"Hi," he said again. He grinned at her. She sat down on the bed.

He heard Dana's car. They were alone. He sat next to her, and pulled her to him, so that her head rested on his shoulder.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," she said.

"Not hungover are you?" he asked, teasing her.

"No, not much. Matt?"

His heart skipped a beat. "Yeah?" he asked.

"You and I need to talk... "

No!!! his mind screamed. He let go of her.

"It's about us, you know? What we... about last night," she explained.

"Yeah?" he asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"You know I was drunk," she started to say, "and I, well, I don't know."

He didn't say anything. His heart broke.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should have been more responsible."

His head was ringing. Responsible? What was she talking about? Was she pregnant? No, she wouldn't know already. Besides, Mike had said she was on the pill. He'd even seen them.

"I just hope that you don't expect anything from this," she continued.

"Why not?" he demanded. Oops, he shouldn't have said that.

She was taken aback. "Well, it's just that Matt, you're just a baby, like, you, I didn't mean that, no I didn't mean you're a baby like that," she said quickly. "I mean that it just wouldn't work out," she stumbled.

His mind reeled as his eyes filled with tears.

"I don't think you're a baby," she repeated, knowing that remark had gone straight to his heart. "I think you're a great guy! "

"Then why don't you like me?" he asked, sadly. In all truth he didn't want to know, he wanted to run out of there as fast as he could and never face her again. But part of him was waiting for her to say that she did like him, that she loved him like she said last night.