Chapter 26 (Matt's flashbacks... )

Matt lay in bed, feeling happy and yet miserable. His mom had let him stay home from school fortunately. He couldn't help but feel miserable, considering his appearance and how much he hurt. He hurt physically, but also emotionally. But he was happy too, happy that Jen didn't hate him and that he'd talked to her. He wondered if he could really call her. He considered calling her and not saying anything, or hanging up, just to see if she was there and to hear her voice. He'd done it before. But he always felt like a dork afterwards. He thought about every single time he had seen her...

He'd loved her instantly. He couldn't help it, he supposed, his hormones were out of control. She'd treated him well all year he guessed, and he had always had a glimmer of hope that she liked him whenever she would smile at him, or talk to him. He fantasized that she really liked him, and not Ryan.

He first saw her the week before school started. He was on the football team, and practice started two weeks before school. He got to know this guy Mike, who he'd known before but never was really friends with, pretty well. Mike invited him home after practice one afternoon to get something to eat and hang out.

He had a cool house, and they played video games in his room and talked about stuff. They heard some people come running up the stairs.

"My sister," Mike explained. "Probably Jen, too."

"How old's your sister?" Matt had asked.

"Oh, she's seventeen. Jen's still sixteen I think. Yeah, her birthday's in October."

"Are they seniors?"

"Yeah."

"Are they hot?" asked Matt, his mind always on girls. He figured now that he was in high school he ought to be getting laid all the time.

"Man, shut up! That's my sister!" Mike exclaimed. "Jen's pretty hot though," he added.

"Cool."

Mike paused. "Have you ever done it?"

Matt paused too, thinking whether he should lie and say he had or not.

"Me neither," said Mike.

Matt smiled too. "Well, I guess I will pretty soon. I want to anyway!"

"Well, duh! Of course."

It was getting really late; Matt called his mom to tell her where he was, but she wasn't home. He was supposed to be home awhile ago though.

"My mom can give you a ride home when she gets home. Probably in like an hour or so."

"Oh."

"We can asked my sister though. She might say yes."

"Okay," agreed Matt enthusiastically.

They knocked on her door. They heard voices and music.

"Come in!" called a female voice.

Mike pushed the door open and walked in, Matt trailing after him.

One girl, Mike's sister Matt assumed, as she had the same white-blond hair, lay on the bed. Another girl stood in front of the closet, which had a mirrored door. Oh my God, thought Matt.

The other girl, (was Jen her name?) was trying on clothes apparently, as they were all over the room. She was only wearing a skimpy bikini, and she was unbelievably tan. She wasn't really tall, but she was incredibly built. Her chest filled out the bikini top. Her brown hair hung in waves down her back. He saw her face in the mirror, and she was beautiful, he thought.

He took all this in in about two seconds, and that's all the time it took it seemed for the blood to flow and his dick to get hard in his pants. He stared at her while Mike asked his sister if she could drive Matt home.

Jen turned around, and smiled at the boys in the doorway. Matt blushed, looking away for a second.

His sister, Dana, made a face. "Where do you live?" she asked Matt.

Matt was staring again at the other girl, who was turning around and looking at herself in the mirror. Mike poked him.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Where do you live?" he asked.

Matt told her.

"Oh, that's right by Jen's house," his sister said.

Jen turned around again and looked at him. He blushed again.

"Yeah, I'm going home soon. I can take you home if you want. Can you wait a few minutes?" she asked him.

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah, that's fine," he said, trying to act cool. "Thanks," he added.

"No problem," she told him, giving him a smile. "God, I hope I don't lose my tan soon," she said to Dana.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "God, Jen, you're so skinny!"

"No I'm not!" said Jen. "I think I gained too much weight this summer. This bathing suit was looser on me when I tried it on in the beginning of the summer."

"Oh, it's still loose though. God, you're a twig!"

Jen rolled her eyes. Mike and Matt still stood in the doorway, looking at her.

"Oh you're so fat Jen," whined Mike, teasing her. "You're just a whale!"

"Screw you!" laughed Jen.

"No, I think you have a nice body," said Matt honestly.

She turned and looked at him again, her smile making his heart race. "Thanks," she said.

"Nuh huh, Matt. Jen's a fat pig," insisted Mike.

She rolled her eyes at him. She turned around and put her bra on, over her bikini top. She hooked it up, then undid her bikini and pulled it out from under the bra. Matt stared at her while she pulled a T-shirt on, a long one that went past her hips to her thighs. She pulled down the bikini bottoms, kicking them off and then pulling on some peach colored panties. Matt tried to imagine what she would look like without the T-shirt, so he could see her between her legs. He'd never seen a real naked girl, except for his little sisters, but he supposed that didn't count.

She pulled on some jeans shorts, and he stared at her buttoning them up while Mike and his sister talked about something. She didn't seem to even notice he was watching her. Matt wondered if he could get dressed like that in front of a girl he didn't even know. He doubted he could get dressed in front of a girl he did know.

She sat down on the bed, flipping through a stack of pictures that lay there.

"When are you going home?" asked Mike.

She looked up. "Oh, like ten minutes. That okay or do you need to leave now?" She looked at Matt.

He gulped. "Nah, ten minutes is fine. I don't have to leave right away," he added.

She continued looking at the pictures. She lay back and laughed over one with Dana.

Mike pulled on him, and they left, closing the door behind them. They walked down the hall to Mike's room.

"Man, doesn't that give you a woody?" asked Mike.

"Oh man... " Matt groaned. "Damn! I was hoping she'd take her clothes all off. What's her name, Jen?"

"Yeah, that's Jen. She's been best friends with my sister, like forever. She slept in my bed once," he bragged.

"She did? Were you in it too?" Matt asked, jealous.

Mike laughed. "No. I wish! She was drunk and she just came in and passed out. I had to sleep in the guest room."

"Wow. Cool," he said, impressed. He felt cool himself, that she was going to bring him home. What could they talk about?

"Yeah, me and her are friends too," added Mike.

"Oh yeah?" asked Matt, wistfully.

"Yeah. She's really nice," he said.

Finally he heard her calling Mike in the hall. Mike nodded at Matt, "Get your bag."

Matt grabbed his things and followed him out there, trying to act casual. She was still talking to Dana, saying that she'd call her later. She looked at Matt. "Ready to go?" she asked.

He followed her down the stairs, while Mike said he'd see him tomorrow at practice. Matt prayed he didn't stink too badly, or that she wouldn't notice if he did. No one ever took showers at school, but he wished he had for once.

They went out into the summer evening. She had a cool car too, a Jeep, one of the new kinds.

"My car's really messy," she explained. "Sorry."

"No, it's not. It's cool."

"Thanks. So what's your name again?" she asked, starting the car.

"Oh, Matt."

"Are you a freshman?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I thought so. I mean, I've never seen you before."

His heart raced. Did that mean she wanted to see him again? Or that she would have noticed him if she had?

"What position do you play?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, quarterback," he told her.

"Really?" she asked. "My boyfriend's quarterback too!"

His heart sank. He might have guessed she had a boyfriend. "Oh yeah?' he asked half-heartedly.

"Yeah."

He felt pretty cool though; he'd never been driven anywhere by someone who wasn't an adult. Plus she was hot. Would he see her at school? They sat in silence for awhile.

"Are you looking forward to high school?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah! Eighth grade was lame," he said. "It'll be cool."

She smiled. "This your street?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's a while down though," he said, wishing he could think of something cool to say. He wondered about her boyfriend, he wondered if they has sex. He tried to picture her having sex. He wondered if she was going to go out with him tonight.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" he asked. Oh, shit! he thought. It's sounds like I'm coming on to her!

"Oh, I don't know. Probably not much," she said. "I still have to get my school supplies. Echh! I hate school."

"Yeah, me too!" he said. "It's that one there," he pointed out regretfully.

She pulled over, and smiled at him. "Well, it was nice meeting you," she told him.

"Yeah! Nice meeting you too! Thanks for the ride," he added.

"Oh, no problem! I'll see you around school probably!"

"Yeah, see you around," he said casually, closing the door. He walked coolly into the house as she drove off.

He dropped his bag on the floor, then went up the stairs. He went into the bathroom, peeling off his sweaty shirt and looking at himself in the mirror. He flexed his muscles. He was much bigger than other guys his age, he thought. He didn't have any hair on his chest. Was he supposed to? He didn't know.

He kicked off his shoes and shorts, turning on the shower. He shivered in the draft, then he sighed in relief as the spray of hot water hit him. His dick had softened, but the need was still there. He washed his whole body, thinking about her.

He thought about when she drove him home. Instead of saying it was nice to meet him, she could have put her arm around him, and looked him deep in the eyes. She could have kissed him, then said, "Matt, I want you." He tried to imagine her unzipping his fly and leaning over in the car, sucking his dick.

He rubbed himself, squirting some conditioner onto his palm and using that as a lube. He closed his eyes and rubbed faster, remembering her in the bikini, more than half naked. It wasn't hard to picture her completely naked. One hand gripped his balls, while the other was a blur, rubbing the head of his dick faster and faster. He tried to imagine himself on her, fucking her with everything he had.

Soon he let out a cry, muffled under the spray of the shower, as he jerked, shooting cum everywhere. He gasped, and groaned, as his knees felt weak, and he thrust his hips forward.

"Shit!" he gasped.

He felt ashamed immediately, he always did. Then he felt sad, and lonely.

With the excitement of the first day of school, he forgot about her. He had English and Biology with Mike, and he was hoping they'd be friends. There were so many new kids he didn't know, a lot of pretty girls too. His middle school had been mostly white but now it was really mixed.

But he saw her the second day of school, in the library when he went to get his books. She was in there too; he saw her immediately, laughing with some other seniors. He wanted to go up to her but he couldn't; he was only a freshman besides.

He walked by her nervously, heading toward the door. He paused, turning around and looking exasperated, like he was waiting for someone really slow. He tried to act casual again, stretching and yawning. She looked at him, and his heart raced. She was eating an apple, but she smiled and waved at him, and he smiled back.

He fantasized in class about her. What if he saw her everyday, or went out to lunch with her? He wished he had a car, or his friends did, so he could hang out in the parking lot. He wanted to find out more about her from Mike. He thought Mike was pretty cool.

He was glad when they became friends, and he ate lunch with him on the lawn everyday. They always talked about girls, but he didn't want to be obvious about liking Jen, so he couldn't just bring her up out of the blue. But he did anyway sometimes.

"Oh, I saw that girl that was at your house you know. The one that drove me home. What was her name again?" he asked casually one day, even though he knew.

"Huh? Who, Jen? Jen," he told him.

"Yeah, that's right. Um, is her boyfriend Scott Alberg?"

"Alberg? The quarterback? No, Ryan's her boyfriend. He goes to Woodland. He's their quarterback. Why?"

"Oh, because she said something about her boyfriend being the quarterback and I thought maybe she was going out with Alberg."

"Oh, no."

He knew he didn't have much of a chance with her, deep down, but he wished he could just hang out with her. He was disappointed with his social life, he didn't go out much last year. He figured nobody but him stayed home on Friday and Saturday nights. He wondered what she did for fun. Probably get drunk and stoned, he thought. He'd never done either although he wasn't against it. He just hadn't. He wondered if she was a virgin. Probably not, he figured, jealous.

She had the same math teacher as him, the period before his. Sometimes she would stay behind and talk to people, or the teacher, and he would see her though they never talked. Usually she was gone by the time he got to the room though. He never knew where she sat, but one day he saw the seating chart for all the classes. There was her name, Jen Halleran. She sat one seat in front of him. He considered writing, "I love u" on the desk, but only briefly. If she knew he liked her she'd probably never talk to him again, or maybe make fun of him.

Thursdays after school were the days students could make up tests if they'd been sick. He'd missed one, and one day he came in and she was sitting down, talking to this guy. His heart raced. The teacher wasn't there yet. He squeezed past her, saying "Excuse me" as though he was annoyed. She looked up, and smiled at him, saying hi.

"Hi," he responded. He got out his books and tried to look busy.

She continued talking to the guy, this really skinny guy with a baseball cap on. Matt wondered if she liked him. Maybe she'd broken up with her boyfriend. But they were talking about him.

"I mean," she was saying. "We've been to six Homecomings so far."

"Oh yeah, huh," the guy answered. "But you're still gonna go to both this year?"

"Yeah. I'll have to get two new dresses," she complained.

He laughed. "I haven't seen him since like, August. Remember that pool party in the Oaks?"

"Oh yeah. Well he's the same. Except he has the sniffles!" she cooed.

He laughed. "He has 'the sniffles'?"

"Yeah! He's sick," she stuck out her lower lip.

"Oh, poor baby. I guess you can't kiss him now."

"Oh, well too bad. I kiss him anyway," she laughed.

"My little brother's on his little brother's soccer team," the guy said.

"Really? Which one? Will or Robby?"

"Will I think. He's like 9."

She smiled. "Yeah, that's Will. He's the cutest I swear. He's so cute."

"He looks just like Ryan. I swear, he is Ryan."

"I know! He does! He's the sweetest little boy."

"Robby looks like him too, but not as much."

"Yeah, he does a little bit. He sounds like him now. His voice is totally changing. I call and he answers and I'm like 'Ryan?' and he's like, 'No, it's Robby, '" she said in a low voice. "He's grown so much."

"Yeah, total growth spurt."

"He is so perverted. I mean, he's like, Hyperpuberty Boy."

The guy laughed. "How old's he?"

"Like thirteen. He's in seventh. I think he's twelve actually. Anyway, one time I stayed there and watched them this summer while Ryan and his parents went down to look at colleges. And you would not believe how disgusting he is, Brian."

"Why? What did he do?"

"Well, he's like asking me all these questions," she said, looking over at Matt, the only person around them, to see if he was listening. She didn't think he was. "He's like, 'Do you fuck my brother? Do you suck his dick?'" she whispered.

Brian snorted.

"Shut up," she said, tossing her head. "Anyway, he goes, 'How do I get a girl to suck my dick? Will you suck my dick?'"

"He asked you to suck his dick?" asked Brian, surprised.

"Yes! I was gonna slap him, I swear."

"Damn! Whatta little pervert. Did you tell Ryan?"

"Yeah. He beat him up," she laughed. "But actually I just told him to talk to him, because he was really confused and stuff. So he did. I guess all the girls at his school thought he was a pervert too."

"He is! Ryan's a pervert too, though. Don't you think?" he laughed.

"Well, sure. He's a pervert too. But that's different," she smiled.

"Yeah, 'cause you like him being a pervert."

"Yeah! But anyway, Will! He's so cute. He's like," she whispered, "'Do you know what S-E-X is? Have you done S-E-X?'"

"He's a little skater now, huh?"

"Yeah. He thinks he is anyway. He shaved his head! And he wears all the baggy clothes, and skates to school. He thinks he's cool. But he is a cool kid. He's gonna be so hot when he grows up. Oh my gosh, you know what he said?"

"Huh? 'Will you do S-E-X with me?'" he joked.

"No!" she laughed. "It was so sad. I like, cry thinking about it. One time like last summer, hey you better not tell your brother this okay? Will'll kill me."

"Sure. My brother's a dork."

"Anyway, I was at his house one Sunday morning and he was really quiet, you know? And his mom kept asking him what the matter was. And so we're all sitting there, and he like whispers, 'How come when I wake up I feel like I have a bone in my dick?'"

Brian burst out laughing, and Matt tried to conceal his own laughter.

"And so we're all sitting there staring at him for a second, in shock you know, and he starts to cry and he says, 'I think I have cancer!'"

Brian continued laughing. "Oh man! Boner!"

"That's what Robby said. He's all shouting, 'Boner! Boner!' at him. So Ryan and his dad had to tell him what was up."

"Literally!" he laughed.

She burst into laughter. "It was so cute!" she remembered.

Another guy came in, and he sat next to her, pulling her hair. "What's up?" he said.

"Nothin'. We're just talking about Ryan's little brothers," she told him.

"Oh yeah! They are exactly like Ryan. They are him."

They laughed. "That's what we were talking about," Brian said.

She got up to throw her gum away.

"They're just like Ryan," repeated the other guy. Matt thought his name was Jeff. He laughed. "They're gonna be gettin' laid every night too when they're his age!"

Brian laughed.

"I heard that!" she exclaimed, sitting back down.

"I swear, you guys are just like rabbits."

"We are not!" she exclaimed.

"Yuh huh! I know you are. That's cool," said Jeff. "He's so full of it though."

"Why? Why do you say that?"

"I mean, he's like 'I'm the best, '" he told her.

"He's the best? What, you mean, in bed?" she asked. "What's he say?"

"Oh," he laughed. "He's always like, 'I'm the best, I have the best mouth, she's always so satisfied, I'm the greatest... ' That sorta stuff!"

She laughed. "Yeah, sounds like Ryan."

"Is it true?"

She smiled. "He's a good boy."

They groaned. "Oh! I see. He's a good boy is he?" said Brian. "I suppose you're the one that tells him he's the best!"

She giggled. "Well, of course! Guys need compliments. No, but he is very good," she said seriously. They rolled their eyes. Matt felt a pain in his stomach.

"He said he did it six times in one night," scoffed Brian. "I don't think so."

"Six times?!? Yeah right. No guy can do it six times!" said Jeff.

"No! He did I swear," she protested.

"Bull fucking shit," said Jeff.

"No, I made him."

They laughed. Matt was finding this quite interesting.

She rubbed her eyes, remembering. "We got in a huge fight that night," she said, not smiling.

"Oh yeah? No guy can do it six times in one night. Maybe three or four. What was the time frame?" he asked.

"Um... Like, from like nine o'clock to maybe three in the morning."

"Maybe... " conceded Brian.

"No really! I was really drunk, and God, I don't know what my problem was. Anyway, the first time I was like, 'Let's do it!' and he was like, 'YEAAAHHH!!!'" she said enthusiastically. "Then I was like, "Let's do it again, ' like right after, and he's like, 'Yeahhh!!!' And then I was like, 'Again!' and he was like 'Aright... ' And then awhile later I was like, 'Again! Again!' And so he was like, 'Awhhh!'" she groaned. "'Yeah, okay.' And then I was like, 'More! More!' I mean, I was waiting awhile. But then anyway, so he's like, 'No! Well, okay. Wait a few more minutes.'"

"'And suck my dick, '" interrupted Brian.

"Shut up!" she told him. "And then after that one, he was really tired, yeah, it was really late, and I was still going, 'More! More! More!'" the guys laughed "and he was like, 'No, okay? I can't do it again! Haven't you had enough?!?' And so I kept bugging him, and he kept saying no. And then I got mad, or I was just pretending to be mad, and I like turned around and faced the wall and wouldn't talk to him. And he's like, 'Jen! God, I can't do it! I'm tired! I don't have any left!'"

They laughed again.

"And I tell him he could at least try, and he's like, 'There's no point! I canNOT do it six times in one night, okay!'"

"Right," Jeff nodded.

"So I say," she cringed, "'you would if you loved me... '"

The guys groaned, reeling from her words. "No! I can't believe you said that!" exclaimed Jeff. "Ooooooooo... " he groaned.

"Goddamn!" groaned Brian. "That was not cool."

She nodded in agreement. "I was kidding! Really. Yeah, he got so pissed. He like jumped out of bed and started yelling at me."

"Did you cry?"

"Yeah! I always cry whenever he yells at me. I can't help it! Anyway, he was really pissed and he was like screaming at me and he was about to throw me out of my house, and I was just sitting there crying, going 'Ry! That's not what I meant! I meant you would at least try!'

"Ooo, big difference," said Jeff.

"Well, anyway, so he was also really pissed because he thought I was on XTC, because once I said I wanted to do it, and you know how it makes you really horny? Well he told me he wouldn't let me do it, which was cool, but anyway he was totally convinced I was on it. It took me like an hour of him screaming and me crying to convince him I wasn't on it. But he was so mad, he was like, 'I don't have sex with you to show you I love you. I do other things to show you I love you.' Totally making me feel bad. And than anyway we made up and we did it again."

They laughed. "Awright," said Jeff. "Okay, maybe six times in one night."

They looked over at Matt, who was staring at Jen, and laughed. He'd been listening of course, but it was still funny.

"But he doesn't talk about what we do, does he?" she asked seriously.

"Well," said Jeff. "Not really. But he does talk about you a lot."

"Really? What does he say about me to his friends? He's different sometimes, when he's around his friends. Not you guys, or Josh or Corey, but his football friends that I don't know."

"Really? I don't know, I don't know them. Oh, well, I mean, we all know he worships you. You're like, a Goddess."

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah!" laughed Brian. "I swear, it's like, all his friends are his little army, and our mission is 'Protect Jen.'"

"Shut up!" she laughed.

"No really. You better marry that boy, I swear."

"Yeah, we will. If I got pregnant we'd get married now," she told them.

"Oh yeah? Well, anyway, he talks about you a lot. If we're over and he calls you, and you're not there, then he gets like, sad and stuff."

"Really?" she asked. "Awwwwh... "

"Yeah, and you know what," said Brian. "Josh told me that one time, I guess all three of you were all over at his house, and you had to leave or something?"

She shrugged. "I guess I remember."

"Well, anyway, he said that after you left, Ryan's all, 'You know that girl that just left? The one with the brown hair and beautiful blue eyes?' And Josh was like, 'Uh, yeah? You mean, Jen?' And Ryan goes, 'I'm gonna marry that girl.'"

"Really?" she asked again, her face lighting up. "Ohh!"

They laughed, and the teacher came in.

Matt stored all this information away. It was a bundle. He was impressed that she had sex. Of course he was jealous, too, of her boyfriend. God, he couldn't imagine yelling at her. Even if she was being bitchy. But he obviously loved her. He fantasized that he was her boyfriend.

continued...

Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: Celestially praised: FIRST LOVE (mf teen, story, love) Ch. 27- END! From: don't.mail@me.no (Commander Jameson) Date: Thu, 31 Oct 1996 06:42:21 GMT

Subject: ::::Repost by request: FIRST LOVE (mf teen, story, love) 46rom: an164004@anon.penet.fi (Gidget) Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 12:05:18 UTC Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories

Whenever Matt saw her his heart raced. And then she was always gone, into the classroom, or the parking lot, as fast as she had appeared, she was gone. He had hung out at Mike's a lot, but she was never there.

One night he went over to his house, to work on their biology project. It was due the next day, and they'd both been slacking off. They had their notes, but still had to write the paper. He was in a bad mood, because Mike kept promising to work on his part, but he never did. It was already eight o'clock.

"We'll write it in my sister's room," said Mike, as they ran up the stairs.

And she was there, laying on the bed watching TV. He tried to act casual. Dana was on the phone, but she waved to Mike to use her computer. They pulled in another chair, and Matt sat down.

"Hi Jen," Mike had groaned.

"Hi Mikey," she'd said. Mikey? he wondered.

The minute Dana had gotten off the phone, it had rung again.

"Hello?" Dana said. She looked at Jen. "Um, what if I say she's not here?... Well then, what if I say she is?"

Jen raised her eyebrows at her friend.

Dana raised hers back, covering up the receiver. "It's Ryan," she explained. "He said, 'Is my girlfriend there?' and I said, 'What if she's not?' and he goes, 'Then I'll be happy.'"

"He'll be happy?" asked Jen.

"Yeah, and then I say, 'What if she is here, ' and he says, 'Then I'll be sad.'"

"Oh really?" Jen snorted. "Well I wouldn't want to make him sad!"

"She doesn't want to make you sad," she said into the phone. She paused. "Oh. He says he'll be sad because he's really tired and he wants to go to bed."

"So go to bed," Jen said plainly.

"Go to bed," relayed Dana. "Oh... Just a second." She threw Jen the cordless phone.

"If you don't want to talk to me then don't," said Jen. "So go to bed! I'm not standing in your way... Yeah... Oh... Yeah, I know... Why are they there?... I don't care, I was just asking... Hey, I'll let you go if you're so tired... Really? Oooh, Ryan! Bad!" she teased.

Matt was trying to listen in, but at the same time not be obvious, i.e. keep telling Mike what to write next.

She sat up. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?... Sorry!... Yeah, yeah... I just meant it's a Monday night. I never said that... "

She clicked the phone off, and slammed it down on the bed. Dana took it, hanging it up. They're fighting! thought Matt.

"What? Did he hang up on you?" she asked.

"No. I hung up on him. Wait give me the phone."

"Why? Are you going to call him back?"

"Yeah... "

"No! Don't! Wait five minutes first."

She sighed.

"What was his problem?"

She lay back down on the bed. "He was being such a prick! I was like, 'Fine! You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to!' And he's like, 'Oh, I'm drunk, ' And so I'm like, 'Ooh! Bad, ' and he gets all mad, and says, 'Don't you lecture me about drinking!'"

"What a dick!"

"Yeah, and I'm like, 'Ryan, that's not what I meant.' I mean, he never drinks on a weeknight. Usually not even on a weekend, you know? So I said that, and he goes 'Oh. Well, whatever.' So I hung up on him."

"What's his problem?" asked Dana.

"I don't know. His asshole friends were over there, and you know how he's different when they're there... "

"Nah, it's probably because he's drunk. He's nice to you Jen," interrupted Mike.

"Well he's still being a dick."