Chapter 23

By that night Jen had made up her mind to go see him. She got in her car, feeling like such a spoiled brat. After all, her parents gave her so much. She remembered when Ryan had taught her how to drive, and how frustrated they had both been, him especially. But he had still let her learn on his car, and had tried to be so patient with her.

But now she was scared to death, and she wanted to turn around and go back. What if he was sure he didn't want her? What if he never believed her?

She felt numb as she rang the doorbell. Usually she would have walked in, but now she was too nervous to. She looked around while she stood on the doorstep, staring at his car in the driveway. She heard voices, and then the door opened. Robby opened it.

"Come in," he said, as though she were retarded.

She came in slowly, looking around for Ryan.

"He's in his room," Robby told her, walking back to the living room.

She was left alone in the front hall, and she slowly walked towards his bedroom. She heard his stereo. She knocked on the door several times before she heard the music die down and Ryan loudly say, "Come in!"

She opened the door slowly and walked in. Ryan looked at her then looked away. She closed the door behind her as he turned his stereo back up.

"Please turn your stereo down," she told him underneath the loud music. He ignored her, and she repeated it. Finally she walked over to his stereo and turned it off. He still wouldn't look at her, just stared at the ceiling.

"Ryan," she said, her voice shaking. "If we have a relationship, you will listen to me."

He ignored her.

"You will listen to me, or else you will lose me. Is that what you want?"

His eyes met hers, but he didn't answer.

"I want to tell you what happened," she said, her voice slightly pleading.

"I don't want to know," he told her simply. "You cheated on me, and that's good enough for me."

"I didn't!"

"Yeah you did," he said disgustedly, looking away.

"I didn't! Ryan, I told you, nothing happened!"

"Oh, except you kissed him. You kissed Danny. That is cheating in my book, aright?"

"Ryan, why won't you listen to me?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I don't wanna. It's black and white, so it doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"Because you fucking cheated on me, aright? Now I don't want a girlfriend who cheats on me. That's fucking bullshit. I don't forgive that."

"Well you don't need to forgive me, because I did nothing wrong!"

He rolled his eyes, looking away again and staring at the wall.

"Ryan," she said gently, trying not to cry. "I love you. I would never cheat on you. Now what happened is that me and Danny were talking, and hanging out, okay? Are you listening?"

"No."

"Well listen!" she cried. He looked up. "We were hanging out, and he leaned in and kissed me. And I pulled away and said no."

He paused. "Well, why the hell was he in bed with you?"

"We didn't do anything. He just stayed over and I didn't really care if he slept in my room. 'Cause I wasn't gonna do anything with him."

"Well why did he kiss you?"

"I don't know! Because we were just sitting there, and it just happened. He felt really bad."

"Well, did you feel bad?" he asked sullenly. "Maybe you didn't. How long was this kiss, anyway?"