I was sitting there thinking back; trying to figure out when exactly my feelings for my little sister had changed. Or maybe I should say I was wondering when they had been added to. I still loved her as my sister, but for the past little while, I'd been looking at her in a decidedly different light. As I sat on the back patio watching my little sis and her friends sunning and messing around by the pool, I once again berated myself for my less than brotherly thoughts.

I was not happy with what I was feeling, and I would give just about anything to not be thinking these things about her. We had always been close, but as of late our relationship had been suffering. I knew she had picked up on the changes, and I also knew that she was confused and hurt, not knowing the reasons behind them. But I just could not play around and have fun with her like I used to for I found my thoughts, more often than not, turning toward sex whenever she was close to me. I knew it was best for her sake, and my sanity if I avoided all close contact with her, and that pained me greatly, for I felt I had truly lost my sister.

My eyes floated over my little sister's scantily clad body as I admired her smooth round butt cheeks, her slender young waist, and her amazingly sexy tanned legs. She had just turned fourteen, and it seemed she had been magically transformed almost overnight. One day she was my lanky little sister, but today, as I sat there staring at her firm young body, images of that lanky little girl were completely replaced with the sight of the most beautiful, unbelievably sexy young lady I had ever seen.

I let my eyes drift away from my sister's body to look over at her young friends lying beside her. They were also very pretty girls. One in particular was rather striking, with long wavy dark hair, and lovely blue eyes, but even she could not hold a candle to my sis. Once again my eyes made their way back to their favorite resting place, on my young sister's glorious body.

I sometimes tried to justify the way I was feeling toward her. She was an incredibly beautiful girl; deep green eyes and long blonde hair set around the most delicately lovely face. Then all of a sudden she had developed this amazing body to go along with her beauty. How could any man look at her and avoid the obvious sexual thoughts that came from admiring and being close to such a young lady. But I was not just any man, I was her brother. Justify all I wanted, I knew my feelings for her were unnatural.

"Hello? Would you mind moving your legs so we can get through." My sister slapped me playfully on the thigh snapping me out of my reverie. I dropped my legs which were blocking their entrance to the house, and they bounded past me. My eyes trailed behind my little sister, admiring her bottom as she walked into the kitchen. Man, I had to get out of this house or I was going to go completely insane.

"Mom, come on, I don't want to stay here all weekend and baby-sit Shanna; she's old enough to stay alone. Jeez, Mom, she's fourteen years old, and besides, I have plans this weekend." The fact was I did not have plans, but I could not bear the torture of being alone in the house with my little sister for the entire weekend.

"Jerry, you will be going away to college in less than a month, and this would be a good opportunity for you to spend some quality time with your little sister. You two haven't been doing much of anything together lately, and you're both going to regret that when you head off to school. Besides, your dad and I need you to do this for us, please."

"Yah fine Mom, if you need me, you know I'll do it." Man, how was I going to get through an entire weekend alone with my sister considering the thoughts that were going through my head at that moment. The sane part of my mind was telling me that I would just have to avoid contact with her as much as possible. However, the part of my brain which was perverted with sexual desires for my little sister was reminding me what an opportunity this would be; alone in the house with her for an entire weekend. I immediately tried to put those thoughts out of my mind. Like I said, I tried, but to little avail.

"And I do not want either of you to have any friends spending the night. Your father and I both agree that the two of you need this opportunity to spend some quality time together before you leave next month." Great, just what I needed, my mother's encouragement to spend "quality time" with my little sister. If only she knew what my idea of quality time would be right then, I seriously think she and Dad would reconsider leaving me alone in the house with, and pretty much in control of Shanna for the entire weekend. It was not a situation I was prepared to be in, and I knew it would be a torturous three days.

"Now your torture begins, I guess." My sister said this rather sharply as our parent's car backed out of our driveway and headed up the street.

"What?" I was quite taken aback, wondering what she could possibly mean by her statement.

"I heard you telling Mom that you didn't want to spend the weekend here 'babysitting' your pest of a little sister." I could see the intense hurt in her eyes as she bailed past me, and ran into the house. Damn, the last thing I wanted her to believe was that I did not want to be around her. I already knew how much she loved me, and how much my love as a brother meant to her. I felt like shit for hurting her, and I had to try to fix this somehow. My greatest fear was that my sexual desires for her would completely destroy the loving brother-sister relationship we had. And my greatest regret was the damage that had already been done.

"Can I come in?" I knocked lightly on her bedroom door, I could hear her softly muffled crying. When she didn't reply, I opened the door a crack and the sight before me both saddened and excited me. My sister was lying on her belly on her bed, her face turned toward the wall and buried in one of her fluffy feather pillows. She was wearing very short cut-offs and her beautiful bottom was slightly exposed. Her entire back was bare aside from the thin straps which held her bikini top to her body. Her blonde hair was spread out around her like the softest golden pillow. My God I wanted her.

"Shanna, Sweetie, please don't feel this way. I'm sorry, but you misunderstood what I was saying to Mom. You know I love spending time with you, and you're the coolest little sister a guy could have." I sat down next to her on the edge of her bed.

"No, I know you used to love spending time with me, but we haven't done anything together in months. I know you can't stand being around me anymore, you even practically admitted it to Mom." She rolled over on her back, and turned her lovely tear-streaked face to me.

"We used to be so close, Jerry, I was so proud because we had a much better relationship than any of my friends have with their brothers. Don't you love me anymore, Jerry?" The fact that my sweet little sister even had to wonder if I loved her broke my heart. If only she knew exactly how much I did love her. If only she knew that I could hardly stand being around any other girl, because I couldn't help but compare every girl I met to my little sister. And that it was a losing battle, because absolutely no one could even come close to comparing to her.

"My God, Shanna, of course I love you. I love you just as much as, if not more than I ever did. I couldn't ask for a sweeter, cooler, or prettier little sister. How could I not love you? Why would I ever stop?" I could see that my words were starting to soothe her, and I couldn't help but notice the sweet little smile appear on her beautiful face when I told her she was pretty.

"Sweetie, you know I've just had so damn much on my mind lately with starting college next month and stuff. It's a big deal, ya know, a lot of pressure. The way I've been acting has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with you. I love being with you, honestly." She was obviously feeling soothed now, as she sat up and embraced me tightly. I had been pushing her away so hard for the past few months that I had forgotten how amazing her hugs could feel.

I could feel her firm young breasts pushing hard into my bare chest, and the knowledge that the only thing separating her naked flesh from my own was the thin bikini top she wore was a frighteningly arousing thought. I placed my arms around my beautiful young sister, and my hands rested on the tie that held the skimpy bikini top to her body. Oh how simple it would be if I were to just pull the string and her top would fall to the floor and...

I was snapped back to reality when my sister pulled back from me, ending the embrace that I so wanted to continue, that I so wanted to progress.

"Thank you, Jerry, I feel so much better now. I really thought that I had lost my big brother, and I had no idea what I had done to make you lose interest in spending time with me. I guess I should have been more understanding considering that you're going to college in a month and all. I wasn't really considering how much pressure that would be. Maybe we will have a cool weekend together after all. Now I'm gonna go take a shower." She kissed me lightly on the cheek and my eyes followed her body as she headed off to the shower, leaving me sitting on her bed unbelievably aroused.

"You're such a remote hog! Let me find something!" Shanna held out her small hand, waiting for me to relinquish the remote. We were sitting in the family room on the big leather sofa; my boredom causing me to flip incessantly through the channels, annoying my little sister to no end.

"No way, I'm the boss this weekend; that means it's my house, my TV and my remote!" I stuck my tongue out at my little sister in a playfully childish act of goading. Shanna saw my refusal as an impelling force, and she bounded for the remote, catching me off-guard and knocking me over on the sofa.

"Gimme!" She jumped on top of me, straddling my legs, fighting me for the remote. Of course I was much stronger than she, and I could have easily thrown her back on the sofa, but I felt compelled to let her play-fight me a little. We'd had a great day after our little talk in her room, and for the first time in months I had actually been able to relate to her purely as my little sister.

But suddenly I became aware of the warmth radiating from my sister's body as she straddled me. I felt the all too familiar stirrings between my legs as she wriggled around on top of me, struggling to gain control of the remote. God, why the hell could I not just play around with my little sister without these perverted thoughts entering my mind? It wasn't fair, I just wanted to be a good brother to her, and here I was sincerely wanting to make love to her. I felt sick, and I knew I had to get out of there.

"Jeez, Shanna, take it!" I pushed her back off of me, tossing the remote on the sofa beside her. She looked like she had been slapped as I jumped up off of the sofa and bailed out of the room.

"Jerry..." My sister found me on the front steps with my face in my hands. I felt her hand on my shoulder, and I could hear the concern in her voice. I didn't want her to see me crying, but I just felt so damn confused about what I was feeling.

"What is wrong, Jerry? Please don't shut me out, why are you crying?" I knew she was genuinely concerned for me, but what could I tell her? I was at the point where I just wanted to tell her how I felt. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her; how badly I wanted to kiss her, touch her, to make love to her.

"Shanna...I don't know what's wrong with me, I really don't. I don't want to make you feel bad, I love you so much. Please don't take the way I'm acting personally, I think I'm just going insane." I managed a wry laugh, but I definitely was feeling anything but happy.

My sister sat down beside me on the step, and began caressing my hair.

"Don't be sad, Jerry...I know you're worried about school and stuff, but everything will be ok." She kissed me lightly on the cheek as she continued running her fingers through my hair. I raised my head and turned toward my little sister. The pale blue light of the moon seemed to flicker off of her golden curls and her eyes just danced in the moonlight. My God she was beautiful. I leaned toward her and placed a soft kiss on her full lips.

"Jerry..." My little sister instantly pulled back from my kiss, looking at me with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Oh God, Shanna...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm so sorry..." I jumped up off of the steps, needing to get away from her; away from the girl who filled my every thought, my every desire. My sister reached out and grabbed my arm as I started to walk away from her.

"That wasn't a very brotherly kiss, Jerry..."

"I'm sorry...I don't know what got into me, Shanna. Please forgive me. I just have to get out of here, call one of your friends over for the night or something. Shanna, I have to go." She placed herself in front of me, blocking my path, and reached out, taking hold of my hand.

"Don't leave, Jerry. You can't just keep running away from me, I want to talk about this. Please..." The intense look of pleading in my beautiful little sister's eyes was almost overwhelming. She was right, I couldn't keep running from her; running from how I was feeling. I had to try to deal with it somehow, and this seemed to be a perfect time. My sister was now undoubtedly aware of my feelings for her, what better time to get it all off of my chest; get it all out in the open.

"You're right, Shanna...We do need to talk about this. I can't keep it to myself anymore, it's driving me crazy. Are you sure that you're prepared to hear this though? Things will never be the same after I tell you what I have to say."

"Like things have been so great lately anyhow, Jerry. Talk to me." She sat down, pulling me down next to her on the steps, keeping my hands in hers, folded together in her lap.

I let it all out. I sat there on the steps with my little sister and told her exactly how I felt toward her. She held my hands tightly in hers as I told her how I loved her as a sister, but also as so much more. I told her how beautiful she was, that she was the most amazingly beautiful girl I had ever seen. I told her how I couldn't even think about being with another girl for there was no girl who could compare to her in my eyes.

She watched my face, and listened intently to me as I went on to explain the hell that I had been going through. How I wanted so badly for these feelings to go away, that I would give anything to just see her as my sweet little sister again. She held my hands, stroked my hair and wiped the occasional tear away from my face. I told her how it hurt so damn much for her to think that I didn't want to be around her, for her to have to question my love for her.

I rambled on for a good twenty minutes, and Shanna just looked at me, saying nothing. I felt like the weight of the world was being lifted from my shoulders, and the more I confessed to my little sister, the lighter the load felt. I knew there would be consequences for what I was telling her, I knew that things would never be the same between us, but I couldn't stop.

After I was finished my confession, Shanna just sat there looking at me for the longest time. Maybe not knowing quite what to say, maybe wanting to choose her words carefully, maybe just letting her big brother's declaration of love sink in. She hadn't pulled away from me, and she hadn't once looked shocked or aghast at my words. She just had this very thoughtful look on her lovely face, and I could see the love in her eyes as she looked at me.

"Jerry..." She was having an obviously hard time deciding exactly how to break the silence; trying to choose exactly the right words to say to me.

"I really don't know what to say. I don't know if I'm shocked exactly by what you've told me. I think somewhere deep inside of me I've suspected as much. Please don't look so worried, Jerry." She smiled a sweet, loving smile at me as she caressed my cheek with her silky soft hand as she continued in an obvious attempt to soothe my worries.

"I love you. I've never thought of you in any way other than just as my wonderfully cool big brother, but I'm not offended by what you've told me. I knew things had changed between us lately, and it's been bothering me more than you can imagine. I've tried to figure out myself why things had changed, and what you've just told me was one of the reasons that crossed my mind. Of course, I dismissed that possibility, but it did stay tucked into the back of my head. I still love you, that hasn't changed by what you've told me, Jerry. But, now that I know how you feel..."