Chapter 1: Jean's Panties

Holding up the soiled panties I'd lifted from the wash hamper and with an exaggerated voice of wonder, I asked, "What're these?"

My sister, Jean--older by two years--blushed and shot back, "You jerk! What do you think they are? Give me my panties... right now, Billy!"

Jean and I had always been close and shared most things, but the conservative atmosphere that surrounded things sexual in our home had placed a "forbidden" charge on things like underwear... and bathrooms... and (gasp), private parts. Added to the mixed messages we'd received, was the clear awareness of our parents' sexuality, for, when my father returned from a long sea trip, they'd always "get it on." Ostensibly, their sexuality was not in the open, but in fact, they were careless and we were aware of both of them as sexually active people. But we never spoke of it. That heightened awareness was to add spice to our own little games.

Holding up the white cotton panties to the light, I examined the crotch in an affected fashion and said, "Hmmm, what's this white stuff?"

"BILLY! Stop that this minute, you little rat. God! You're dirty."

I loved her discomfort and as her kid brother, I loved this fleeting moment of power. Sensing I was on a roll, I held the panties up to my nose and made a loud sniffing sound and added, "Boy, this smells sexy."

Would this stratagem work? I was dragging out of the closet a specific point of sexual tension that had been building between us for a long time. It started for me, I think, when we were wrestling and I had become aware of the distinctive "girl smell" Jean had, seemingly coming from her bottom. I'd wrestled in earnest but as usual, I was distracted. Everywhere I touched, it seemed, was soft or feminine. She, on the other hand, wasn't distracted. She'd finally whipped me with a scissor-lock. I was trapped with my head between her thighs, looking up into the tight crotch of her shorts.

"Give? Give?" she chanted.

"Never! Not on your life," I insisted. Give up? Heck, I wanted some more time so close to her secret girl spot. Reaching around her bare thigh, I tried to insert my hands between her legs near the stretched bottom of her white shorts. I'd already made out that all she had on were short shorts and panties glimpsed under a too-large, baggy sweat shirt.

Making a tickling sound as I touched the inside of her thigh, I got her laughing a moment, relaxing her strong leg muscles. I lunged-- not back and away-- rather, I pushed my head in and higher up, bringing my nose right up to her bottom.

"Now I really gotcha," she chortled. "Give?"

Got me? I smiled to myself. Who's got whom here? "Never!" I mumbled from the confines of her sweaty crotch, inhaling her smell, the sexy, girl aroma.

Smelling her panties that I'd snitched from the soiled clothes hamper was always a turn-on, but smelling her this closely, in real-time, was almost overpowering. I forgot to struggle and gave myself over to the erotic moment. Seeing the leg of her panties under her shorts, a few light brown hairs sticking out, I wondered, has she any idea what I'm seeing?

Jean suspected something was going on. "What are you doing, you little shit?" And then she shrieked as I began to run my finger tips under the pant leg, touching her panty crotch, all in the guise of tickling.

"Tickle, tickle, tickle," I lied, trying to make my mind work on two separate levels. Pretend we're wrestling, but bury my nose in her crotch. I was desperate to smell her, to touch her, to see her sex and I didn't really know how to go about it... other than this game.

Still shrieking with laughter and repeating, "No... no... no... , " she was trying to keep me pinned and get away from my tickling at the same time. "Oh, God, don't. I'll wet myself. Stop. Please stop."

Wet herself? What did she mean? It was then that I became aware of another smell, the unmistakable faint scent of pee. Cripes, was she peeing in her pants? Craning my head back, I attempted to look at the white crotch right in front of my face and could see a wet place as big as a plum. Then, before I could see anymore, she quickly disengaged and ran from the room, slamming the bathroom door behind her.

As I'd often done in the past when I knew we were alone, I'd listen at the thin bathroom door. Once again I heard the familiar hissing of her pee hitting the porcelain bowl. Other times she'd make a louder noise when her squirting pee splashed in the water and I couldn't figure out why it changed from time to time. Did she sit differently? Could she really aim it? I didn't hear the noisy toilet paper roll as I anticipated. Rather, it was quiet. Straining, I imagined I could hear her breathing, but it may have been me. After several minutes of silence, I then heard her pull on the toilet paper, a long pull followed by another short silence.

The bathroom door knob rattled, surprising me, for she'd not flushed the john. She always flushed -- that was my signal to get out of there. Oh, shit! I'm caught, I thought, my heart suddenly in my throat. Yet, she'd paused just a moment, allowing me to scamper away. Then the door opened with a bang and Jean, walking out of the bathroom, stepped over me. I could see the half moons of her ass cheeks as she stepped over my upturned face. She simply dismissed me with a casual, "Jerk!"

As she rounded the corner and passed from sight, I jumped up and went into the bathroom. The lid was up on the john and when I looked in I was thrilled to see pale yellow water and a folded-up wad of toilet tissue. There it is, I thought. There's her pee! I stood looking at it, thinking about how it got there and I just couldn't not jack off. I was too primed, I was ready to explode with sexual tension. It must have taken about ten seconds of frantically stroking my teen-aged hard-on for me to squirt my jism into the yellow toilet water. That's it. I was hooked. My sister had me by the balls on a downhill drag and she didn't even know it. Jean's panties and Jean's peeing, at that moment, became firmly linked in my mind with an immense sexual charge.

Later, I tried to talk with her about our wrestling but I wasn't surprised when she just wouldn't talk about it at all. Still, we both knew something had changed and a new tension, a sexual charge, had been established. For me, I became obsessed with trying to see Jean naked, or up her dress or under a pantleg. If that's all you think about and you live in such closeness with another person, the rewards are frequent. Yet, looking was one thing, but not enough. I wanted to up the ante. I wanted so much to smell her again and more, I wanted to talk with her about it! I just wanted to talk dirty. And heaven knows, I wanted to watch her pee.

She rarely got to go to the john without me being aware of it and listening at the door. The sound of her peeing was an aphrodisiac for me --instant woody! Even the muffled sound of her soft farts gave me a thrill. I came to know her micturition habits born of the certainty of long experience.

For me, a ritual was established. After school, Jean would always change her clothes including her underwear, leaving the soiled garments in the bathroom hamper. As soon as she'd come out, I'd go in, lock the door, and fish out her panties. Then, with my own pants down around my ankles and sitting on the toilet, I sniffed her panties as I played with myself. It had been years since I'd caught a glimpse of her bare pussy, but my active imagination played that tape over and over, seeing the pussy hair and her little-girl slit slowly open, the lips swelling and moist. With my nose close to the odor of her "private place," I smelled the heady scent of her sex. I beat off every day, often twice, trying to think of a way that I could get Jean to play with me.

She'd become increasingly aware of my voyeuristic play over the weeks and pretended indignation when I tried to look up her dress, but I sensed her stance was more pro forma than real. Else why did she sit so carelessly when I was around? Why did she bend over in front of me so often the tight crotch of her shorts pulled up into the crack of her ass and then ask me some nonsense question that I might look her way? She sure didn't act that way when Mom was around.

Still, I knew her "rules"-- the rules of our household-- don't talk about it. We could play the game and pretend we weren't doing anything, but we couldn't openly acknowledge it. She might sit carelessly, reading a book, and I might sit on the floor in front of her, surreptitiously watching the junction of her thighs and catching a peek of her panties... but I couldn't openly let her know I was doing this. That angered her -- me drawing attention to my interest in looking up her dress. It was part of this teenaged seduction, part of our forbidden incestuous play... pretend it isn't really happening.