Laughing through my insanity, the mouse in my pocket, I watched the road as it approached the wood. I cannot call my stride walking ... I glided. The things on the wall were watching ... I kicked up a lot of dust. Not that I kicked ... I just moved.

I fell down ... often. I rolled a bit every time. A dust.

At the fork in the road ... the woods on the left and a great barren swath of nothing with the right hand fork, straight as the road builders could make it, became a dot in the distance. It was directly centered in the swath of nothing.

‘Talk about perspective ... that’s a perfect demonstration,’ I laughed ... farted and thought... ‘hmmm’... ‘better get under cover before it’s too late.’

Just before the wood ... there was a sign:

ABANDON HOPE ALL WHO ENTER. HERE THERE BE MONSTERS

‘What in the name of the gods can be worse than the things?’

Understand, I was in distress. I had only the clothes I had on and I wasn’t about to be sharing the assend of the pants with intestinal infortitude ... so I noticed the sign ... there are 28 languages spoken and written in the known world. A scholar before my insanity I was aware of all 28. I read the sign as I hoofed it by and assumed that the warning was repeated in all 28 languages. I wasn’t really interested in translating. I had no time.

I leaned up againsed a friendly tree, dropped trou, fertilized the root-system, wiped with a piece of soft moss stripped from the north side of the friendly tree and looked back at the sign.

Just Kidding Y’all. Sit a spell. Y’all Come back Now, Hear?

‘Rednecks?’ I thought. The mouse chuckled.

The road continued into the woods. We followed until we came to a split. Road ... Two track ... footpath ... animal trail ... and Bridle Trail.

A ‘Make up your Mind’ split. I hate those.

At the lawn before the split was a graduated bench situated so the traveler could rest while deciding.

On the Bridle Path end the bench was huge ... horses have broad asses.

The bench was a trifle smaller on the animal side ... but the trail ahead was full of ripped branches and torn foliage ... similar to what an angry bear might do to an annoying wood.

The bench narrowed in front of the footpath and the visible path was quite narrow ... like single file but deep ... lots of traffic.

The bench for the two track was double ... but farther down the track I could see broken wheels.

The road either turned or was a portal because it stopped abruptly but the bench had pockets with brochures for wonders and sights along the road ... the pockets were full.

Oh ... and vending machines. The vending machines were just a little farther down the road. You had to commit before you could eat.

Not that we had any money. No money no vending ... besides the brochures wouldn’t come out of the packets ... pockets. I tried but the brochures weren’t having it.

Unless I rode the mouse the Bridle path was out.

I didn’t like the looks of the branches and still falling leaves. Whoever tore up the trees wasn’t far ahead.

The broken wheels farther along the two track ... nope ... not going there.

We had a picnic with the food and drink the mouse freed fron the machine. The mouse was small and clever.

Then we had a nap ... on the lawn.