Hey Joni, how you doing?

Mira. I was just thinking about you. I’m doing okay. I tried that new wine bar on 4^th Street. The Blue Fox, or something like that.

Was it good?

Pretty good. I had a glass of red wine. I sat at one of the stools at the front window. I hadn’t been there long when this guy comes in. Kind of a cute guy, not quite middle-age, I guess. He sits at one of the tables nearby. He smiles at me and asks what was good here. I tell him I’m good.

Oh Joni, you’re so brash.

I know. I wanted to see what he’d do.

What’d he do?

He had this kind of bashful smile. Cute. Almost adorable. And clearly he didn’t know what to say.

What’d he say?

He complimented me on my dress. I was wearing that red and white polka dot.

That’s a good one. I remember when we got it. Mine was black and white. Very Aubrey Hepburn.

Audrey. Audrey Hepburn.

Right. So then what happened?

He’s looking at my bare feet. He says shouldn’t I be wearing red shoes. I thought that was pretty observant of him. I tell him I had been wearing red shoes, but I had to ditch them because a lion was chasing me and I couldn’t run fast in heels. He says, Well I guess it’s good you got away. I said I didn’t get away—the lion caught me and fucked me. His mouth opened at that. I go, yeah, it was a pretty good fuck. Now my cunt is filled with lion cum. Luckily lion cum is the same color as my polka dots. Want to see? He sputters, I uh uh. I pull my Aubrey Hepburn red and white polka dot dress up my thigh, almost high enough. I take that as a yes and lift my leg and hike the dress up all the way. He looks. I go, Wanna smell? Wanna taste?

Oh God, Joni. What’d he do?

He just sat there, like dumbfounded. Gosh, Mira, have you ever heard me say dumbfounded before?

I don’t think so. So then what happened?

I told him I had to leave, but I invited him over for dinner. I winked at him and took off.

My goodness, Joni. I think I might be dumbfounded. You’re incredible.

Ha ha, right. Anyway, he’ll probably be over at seven. I gave him your address.