Chapter VII. "Buried"

“I’ll kill him,” Leanne said, already on her feet. “I’ll cut his fucking eyes out and shove his balls in the sockets.”

“No! Leanne, it’s okay—”

“How? How is any of this okay, Shani? He thinks that he can just come here and put his hands on you like that? Someone has to teach that boy some fucking decency...”

“Someone already has. She stopped him from going any further.”

Leanne stopped, suddenly understanding. “Ella.”

Shaniera told her the rest of the story. When they had returned from their trek in the woods, the prince was nowhere near the state he’d left the manse in. Bruises, a stiff gait, and a bloody lip all begged questions, but the prince waived them all away. “A wolf,” he’d said, showing off his bloody blade. It had approached them on the trail, lone and starving, and tried to lunge for Shaniera, but the prince stepped in and slew it. It had given him a beating, but he claimed it was nothing that merited any special attention. Toren insisted that he examine the prince’s wounds, but the boy was adamant until Toren finally gave up trying. Leanne took one look at Shaniera, and knew instantly that the story was a farce. Now they were in Shani’s room—a place of many fond memories, though this one was sure to be sour.

“It’s a good thing she was there, then,” Leanne said. “What would you have done if she hadn’t shown up?”

“I ... don’t know.”

“So, what? You would just let him do whatever he wanted to you?”

The clouds blocked the sun, and the room grew dimmer. Shani rose, her wet eyes wide open.

“What do you mean ‘let him’, Leanne?”

“What do you think I mean? It sounds to me that he put his hands on you, and you didn’t want it, but you did nothing to stop him.”

“I panicked. What was I supposed to do?”

“Fight back!”

“I wanted to,” Shani yelled, her hands balled into shaking fists. “I wanted to stick a knife right in his heart, right then and there, but I was scared, and I knew that my mother wouldn’t understand. She would never forgive me if I ruined this, all that she’s prepared, all for me.” She stepped forward, into the thin shaft of light coming down from the stained-glass window, her face a dark wraith under a dying glow of gold. “I thought you of all people would understand.”

“I do understand,” Leanne started, and would have continued had words not escaped her. It felt like a spear had driven itself straight through her, pinning her in place. The regret wasted no time in making its appearance, filling her blood and clogging her veins.

“No, you don’t!” Shani shoved her to the floor. “You look at me, and all you see is your little princess, young and naïve and helpless and stupid. But I am not so naïve anymore, Leanne. There are things that are being asked of me, and if I do not do them, my family will fall to ruin, don’t you understand that?” The tears spilled over, but Shani’s face was wrought in stone, a fixture of anger and pain. “That whole time, I only thought of you. I was selfish, I’ll admit, and I’m sorry I didn’t give a consideration to what you might have wanted me to do. All I knew was that if I pleased him, he might grant me whatever I requested, including letting you live with us when we wed.”

Leanne sat dumbfounded. “What?” Shani demanded. “Nothing to say?” When nothing came, her princess slackened her shoulders and turned away from her. “Get out.”

The room had gone cold. Leanne fought a wave of vertigo; a pit seemed to open up beneath her, and one misstep would send her plummeting forever. “Shaniera ... please...”

“Get. Out. Now.” Shani walked gracefully towards the window. Dignity was everything in this house. “Don’t make me say it again.”

Leanne rose on trembling legs, and staggered out of the room. She turned back slowly, just enough to catch Shani marching towards the door before it slammed shut. Alone in the hall, she took a few steps, slumped against the wall, and gave in to the regret. The interweaving colors of the tapestried carpet blended together in nauseating swirls as the tears took over her vision. Why did I say that? She knew the truth: she was the stupid girl all along. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

She found Ella in the yard later, hanging dresses on a clothesline. There was a little discoloration in her cheek where a bruise had formed, but she seemed fine otherwise, if not a tad distant. Her head turned at Leanne’s approach, amber eyes soft and wide at the sight of her.

“Oh, no. What happened?” Ella dropped a white shift back into the hamper and met Leanne halfway, letting the girl fall into her arms. “Come on, let’s go sit down.” They sat behind the shed, where they had some privacy.

She couldn’t say when exactly it happened, but one moment she was explaining her argument with Shani, and the next she was wrapped in up in Ella. The kiss was unbounded, unabashed, and full of longing. She clung to the girl, just a few days ago a complete stranger, but since a trusted friend and confidant ... to say the absolute least of it.

“I’m a terrible friend,” Leanne said after they broke away.

“No, you aren’t.” Ella sat with her back against the shed wall, stroking the hair of the girl resting her head on her lap. “You made a mistake, and said something you didn’t mean.”

“I want to take it back. I wish I could. It wasn’t her fault, I can’t blame her for not fighting back, no more than I could blame you for running from the vampires.”

Ella nodded. “We cannot blame the victim for the crime.” She tugged at a lock of black hair. “He grabbed my hair; I should not blame my own hair for being so long.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, either.”

“I thought you said she was your ‘friend’.” She chuckled. “That doesn’t sound like a commitment to me.”

Leanne sighed. She didn’t like to put a name on whatever they had. They had started as friends, and obviously they were much more now, but she didn’t have to say it ... did she?

“Leanne, I should tell you that Shaniera and I had a ... moment of our own as well, after the incident with Khara. She showed that she learned from my demonstration, and meant it as a punishment for doing something so drastic without her approval. But I believe it fair to say that she also meant it as a reward, for intervening on her behalf.”

She was silent. Shouldn’t I feel jealous? She wondered. She didn’t feel anything, really. It was as if the revelation was nothing she didn’t already expect. Had she expected it to happen this whole time? Something stirring between the three of them, no mere question of if, but a matter of when?

Ella continued. “I’ve known of people who had more than one love, and when the love is mutual between more than two, they might enter relationships with more than two. I’ve known groups of three, or four, or even five, who treat one another as if they were husband or wife. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Is it a custom among Redguards?” Leanne asked, smiling sadly.

“I’m afraid I don’t know. But we could certainly try, if you and Shaniera want to. Truth be told, my affections for the both of you have become very intimate since you took me in. I might even say that I...” her voice trailed off.

“You don’t have to say it,” Leanne said, sitting up. She knew the hardship; she had said it to Shaniera once, long ago, back when it meant something more innocent. She struggled to get that word out since. “I think I feel the same way.” She reached a hand up to stroke her own hair. It was almost past her shoulders now. The comment Ella had made about her hair brought something to the surface, something she’d put off for long enough now. “Ella, would you do something for me?”

“Of course.”

Leanne took out her dagger. It was freshly sharpened. “Are you any good at cutting hair?”

Ella smiled, and stood up. “Wait here,” she said. When she returned, she had a pail of water from the well and a fresh torch, when she stowed in the empty sconce on the wall of the shed. Leanne sat back against the wall, and Ella lowered herself onto her lap, knees on either side of Leanne’s hips. She took the dagger from her. “Tell me how you want it.”

Leanne guided her, and Ella cut away the strands with graceful efficiency. The whole while, Leanne let the sensation overwhelm her, the closeness of it all, Ella’s face right before hers, her body sat on top of her. She could reach out and touch her, stroke her thighs or feel the curve of her hips, but she didn’t. Ella’s breath tickled her face, and her heart fluttered in ways it had never done with someone else other than Shaniera. But Shaniera would never be replaced, she knew. Ella was a new addition, a piece to their puzzle, something to complete the both of them. And when Ella paused in her work, releasing a lock of hair to cup Leanne’s face, she felt no worry when the woman cutting her hair leaned in to kiss her. It was warm, soft and deep, nothing of longing.