Chapter 106

To Natalie’s satisfaction, by the time she was done with Jordan, she really was walking around their room wobbly-legged. Seeing how she had a delver’s enhanced constitution, that wasn’t an easy feat.

After getting cleaned up, they settled down for the night. Jordan snuggled into her arms so naturally, and without question, that it made Natalie’s heart ache.

And so, with no further distraction in the form of pounding Jordan’s brains out, Natalie was forced to confront the realization from earlier.

It was rather hard with Jordan wrapped in her arms. Natalie both lamented her fate and wondered how she’d ever gotten so lucky. But really. Caught in a friends with benefits situation with her best friend who she was actually in love with. How was that fair? Why did the world always conspire against her?

She would admit she felt pretty dumb that she’d only just now realized it. Looking back, her feelings couldn’t be more obvious. Jordan both drove her wild, and she was the woman Natalie had always planned to spend her life with—just in a platonic adventuring sort of way, until her class had apparently swerved them down a different path. Or at least swerved Natalie down a different path. That was the problem. She didn’t know where Jordan stood.

Jordan probably didn’t feel the same way. She would have told Natalie if that were the case. For her, this arrangement really was just to have fun. Right? Because it didn’t seem in character for Jordan to hide her feelings, if she had any toward Natalie. She would have brought it up. Though, maybe she was caught in the same situation as Natalie herself? Worried about how things might change between them if she voiced it out loud? But if that were true, then shouldn’t Natalie have been able to tell? Jordan was her best friend. Natalie ought to be able to tell if she reciprocated her feelings.

She didn’t know how to handle this. The consequences could be catastrophic if Natalie confessed, and Jordan didn’t feel the same way. It wouldn’t ruin anything between them, because Natalie didn’t think anything could, but it would certainly make things horrifically awkward—and Natalie would understand why Jordan wouldn’t be comfortable helping with her class anymore. More than that, Natalie wasn’t sure she could handle being rejected by her best friend. Natalie wasn’t scared of much, but that ran her blood cold.

No, for once in her life, Natalie couldn’t be reckless. She had to gather more information. Pay closer attention to Jordan. She couldn’t blurt out a confession. Way too risky. Plus, Natalie was still sorting through the mess of emotions herself.

The exhaustion of a long day delving, and the vigorous activities just prior, somehow outweighed her racing thoughts, and before she knew it, she drifted off. Jordan’s warm body pressed into her own was also a devastating sleeping aid.

She woke to a blaring alarm. Jordan groaned and rolled over, slapping down on the glyph on the nightstand. She immediately returned to Natalie, snuggling in close. The casualness of the action quickly returned her dilemmas from the night before, which sleep had dispelled. She held Jordan, wondering why things couldn’t ever be simple.

A minute or two later, Jordan groaned a second time, then shuffled around and met eyes with Natalie. Jordan had always had a stunning gaze, but this time, it literally struck Natalie speechless.