“IF NOT FRIEND, WHY FRIEND-SHAPED?”

“Earth Crawlers are most definitely not friends,” Lyon said, him and the rest of the party backing away from the earth crawler slowly.

The other three members of the party nodded and followed Lyon’s lead. They had been given a quest by the royal steward to rescue a princess that had been captured by a dark wizard. The man stashed her away in a large castle on the edge of the Badlands, a region of mountains, volcanoes, and gloom.

And evidently, dragons.

The earth crawler did not look like a dragon on the surface. It was more like a massive centipede, with an armored segmented body, a set of legs per segment, a large head with equally large jaws, and tail with its own ‘false’ jaw that also doubled as a slashing weapon. It had visible light and thermal vision. Adult earth crawlers measured ten meters long and three meters wide. Its build and biology were perfect for burrowing through the earth.

It just didn’t look like a dragon. It had a decidedly insectoid look instead.

But it was indeed part of the dragon superfamily.

The signature biology of dragons was the Breath Catalyst organ, which was an organ that allowed focusing of mana into an offensive weapon. Most dragons ended up with a variant on the fire breath attack. Earth crawlers didn’t get the memo.

They breathed lasers.

Which, to be honest, was a much better usage of the bee cee organ than the standard gaseous breath. A laser would chew into solid rock more effectively than fire or a more exotic variant like frost. It wasn’t the only dragon to have a variation on the standard breath attack; the much larger earth wyrm was a beast of a burrowing segmented snake dragon. It had a laser breath too. But they lived in the southern hemisphere, far away from the kingdom.

“Yeah, totally not friends.”

That was Markus. The party was normally the four of them. Markus, a human mage; Lyon, high elf rogue; Victoria, woodland Fae druid; and Shanique, moon elf cleric. Lyon was the de-factor leader for the band of merry people.

This bounty however recommended at least five party members. The dark wizard opposing them was liable to have a small army spread across his castle where the princess was kept. The last two times they went without a fifth member when their bounty recommended five, it went horribly. One was a net loss in income due to the extra firepower and potions they needed to purchase and the other was a very close call when the inevitable fight broke out at the end.

Lyon didn’t want a fifth person. His coworkers however insisted.

They were beginning to regret that choice. Or at least, picking this one.

Myla was a human barbarian. She wielded a massive warhammer and wore light armor. Her specialty was melee damage dealing with a range of fury-based abilities.

Just before reaching the Badlands proper, they found an earth crawler. The four of them were attempting to slip by it. But Myla came across it and brought it to the group, to the utter shock and horror of the others.

Granted, to her credit, the dragon was clicking its mandibles together and making high-pitched chirping sounds. That meant it was not an adult. Or at least, not fully an adult. The dragon was still as long and large as a long-distance carriage with two sets of paired horses.

Those sounds were happy sounds. Or, at least, not angry sounds. And they were higher-pitched than normal for an adult, which had more like a booming sound.

Lyon glanced at Myla. The dragon extended its tongue and licked her face.

‘Okay, those were probably happy sounds,’ thought Lyon.

“See! Friend! Friendly! Friend-shaped!”

Logic reasserted itself, though.

“Absolutely not. It’s a dragon! A bloody ass dragon!”

The others vigorously nodded their heads after Lyon.

“But Muzzy wouldn’t hurt anyone!”

She named it. Sigh.

“I said no. It’s a dragon; a wild animal. Not a pet. And besides, it’s huge. It’d give our position away. We just want a quick in and out quest. Make as little noise as possible, return with the princess. And our lives.”

“You don’t like Muzzy?! Fine! I like Muzzy. He’s a good boy!”

“No is my final say, and as leader...”

“Then I’ll go rescue her MYSELF! And Muzzy!”

And with that, Myla hefted that big ole warhammer on her shoulders and started off for the dark wizard’s castle.

“Come on, Muzzy! Time to rescue a princess!”

The dragon took off after Myla. This bounty was sooooo over.

It wasn’t over.

Myla and her dragon kicked the doors down, putting a dragon and barbarian sized hole into the castle.

Myla started off by leaping into the air and bringing the hammer down, the area of effect blast taking five soldiers off their feet. Muzzy ran through ten soldiers attempting to charge her and slammed them into the wall, using its mandibles to slash through their armor.

A particularly big brute of a soldier engaged her in single combat while Muzzy dived into the ground; the earth closing up through elemental magic as it slipped into the ground. Then it erupted from the earth, taking out an archer and sending the others of the group diving for safety.

Myla pushed her opponent back with a well-timed blocking weapon bash and finished him off with a fury-empowered power attack.

Reinforcements from the castle keep were moving out a catapult to deal with the dragon. Its response was to charge up and laser their faces off. The catapult was also destroyed.

A second catapult, already in place, fired at Muzzy, who couldn’t slide out of the way in time. The men on the siege weapon cheered. And then Myla wiped their smiles off with a directed ground slam that sent an earth shockwave through their position. Muzzy finished them off with a laser swipe.

The two pushed their way through more soldiers until they came to a large and very sturdy tower. The keep, obviously, since it was at the center of the castle. Myla called for the dragon to keep guard while she ascended the steps. What remaining soldiers didn’t want to press their luck so they stayed back.

Myla reached the top and kicked the door down with a flying kick. She found the princess, a beautiful slim blonde, sitting at a bedside. The woman, shocked to see the barbarian, didn’t know what to say.

“M’lady! I’m here to rescue you. We must move quickly to ensure your safety.”

When the princess didn’t move, Myla decided to act first. She picked the woman up and hoisted her on her shoulder and left out the door. The other shoulder was hefting that warhammer of hers. Down the stairs both the princess and the warhammer went, bumping along on Myla’s shoulders.