Chapter 7: A Strain of Loyalties

“You have to understand I had no choice.” Jutta twisted her fingers in knots as she stood in dejection before Glow in her compartments. “I have to do what Crown Turner insists of me.”

Glow slammed her hands against the cherry wood desk. “How could you, of all people, undermine me? Do you have any idea how powerless I looked out there in the Gallery?”

A tense silence followed her words as Glow stared with wounded eyes at the woman before her. Beaconess Jutta Drewes, Chief Vizier to the crown of Earth, born of the world Ag’o but human in every strand of her DNA.

“I assigned the train Envoy to Conductor Owendt Kurnote’ before I married Lord Haddaway,” Glow clipped out in slow measures. “Why did you go behind my back and not only have John revoke his status but reassign the Envoy to another?”

“I had misgivings about him,” Jutta’s thin, tightly clasped hands shook with nerves. Usually, that would be a sign for Glow to temper her ire. Jutta, though human, had spent the formative years of her life on the world of Ag’o. Ag’osians avoided conflict at almost any cost. If unable to circumvent, Ag’osians had panic attacks.

Jutta is not Ag’osian, Glow reminded herself. She lifted her chin and pinned her eyes on Jutta’s. She was human and humans had been dealing with confrontation and conflict since the beginning.

“Misgivings? What misgivings?”

Jutta’s cerulean blue eyes appealed to her, shimmering like gems. “When I met him in the Gallery, I noticed an imperfection along his ear.”

“Imperfection?” Glow scowled. “What sort of imperfection?”

“A preauricular fistula.” Jutta used her left finger to point to a spot at edge of the ridge of her ear. “When I saw it, it created doubts within me. How could we have such a man lead the Envoy into the new, uncharted territories at the farthest reaches of our galaxy?”

“An ear pit?” Glow stood and leaned over the cherry wood desk. “You let an ear pit dictate the worthiness of a conductor?”

“Please don’t get upset with me,” Jutta begged, her voice both shrill and breathy. “I can’t bear it if you’re upset with me.”

Glow ignored the entreaty. “Jutta, an ear pit?”

“Crown Turner says we must present the very best when we begin to foray into uncharted territory. The Envoy will be surveying a—”

“Don’t feed me that rock flesh, Jutta!” Glow stomped around the desk to stand before the trembling figure. “I am the ruler of Earth, not John!”

“Yes, I know, but—”

“Beaconess Drewes, if you cannot carry out my commands as I say, then I will replace you with someone else who will.”

“Crown Turner will never allow that, Ruler Lee,” Jutta responded with as much formality as she had. “You and I are aware of those facts.”

Glow’s stomach knotted at her words. Now Jutta wanted to access the human part of her upbringing. The part of her being which imparted facts in cold, harsh words.

“And what are those facts, Jutta?”

The woman traced the edge of her blue conical, umbrella hat. “There are hundreds, perhaps thousands among the Alliance, from all over the galaxy who obey John Turner without question. You may sit on the throne of the galaxy but your crown does not rest on your head.”

If someone had slammed a sledgehammer into her stomach, it would have hurt less than Jutta’s words. Especially since she was right. In an agonized groan, Glow asked, “Don’t I deserve your loyalty?”

Jutta’s eyes widened. “Of course, you do. You have it.”

“Then why?” Glow already knew the answer but she hoped it would be different this time.

The chief vizier glanced to a spot behind her. “John Turner was the one who rescued me when the Htarians killed my family in one of their ‘hunts’.” Revulsion and pain contorted her features. “It was he who finally destroyed them and avenged my family’s deaths. What more can I give him but my total obedience?”

What was insanity but repeating the same feat and expecting a different result?

Glow knew Jutta would probably give her life for John Turner, the man who rescued her. Ag’osian culture being what it was, if someone saved your life, you gave them yours in return. Wryly, Glow thought of the fact that humans may be forever appreciative, but the magic of rescue often faded away.

“It was me who held you at night when the nightmares came,” Glow gestured wildly. “It was me who listened to your cries when no one else in Ruler’s House would even give you the time of day. Me, Jutta! Your best friend.”

Images of them as little girls pirouetted before her, wispy shadows of days gone by. Jutta screaming and hiding in the corner of the room set aside for her in Ruler’s House. Glow shoving the heavy door open and running to her, rocking her and telling her it would be okay.

Bonds had formed from those nights. They had both been children of high status. Glow, selected to be the next ruler of Earth. Jutta, daughter of one of the most prominent plenipotentiaries of the Alliance. Yet in reality, they were two little girls caught in the numbing clasp of loneliness.

Jutta must have sensed the direction of her thoughts because she sighed. Grasping the edges of her voluminous blue gown, a garment that resembled a nun’s habit, she fell into a deep courtesy. Glow opened her mouth to protest when Jutta said, “You are my friend and my queen. I will serve you with every breath of my body.”

“Jutta, how can you say you’re my friend and I am your queen when you constantly defer to John?”

“My loyalties are strained.” Jutta stated with a low bow of her head. “The Ag’osian beliefs I was raised with dictate to me that I am to obey without question the man who saved my life. The human I am, the DNA that runs through me, demands I question such blind devotion when you have always been there for me.”

She gave a hint of sad, sardonic smile. “I’m torn between worlds, you know. The world of my birth and the world of my soul.” Jutta’s lips trembled. “How fortunate that you do not suffer from such dichotomy. You’re a better human than I am, my lady.”

Glow groaned. “I’ve told you many times before don’t call me that. It’s old-fashioned. Archaic.”

“It reminds me of who you are,” Jutta rejoined in a low voice. Her gaze left Glow’s face. “And of who I am.”

Melancholy filled the air of her compartments. “And what does that mean?”

“If Crown Turner had not rescued me from the Htarian cages, I would not be your friend. If my parents had not been killed. Had I been allowed to grow up as the daughter of the mighty and powerful Ambassador Drewes, I would still be on my knees before you, saluting you as my queen.”

A deep ache entered her heart. “It seems the world of your birth has the stronger hold.”

“Please! Don’t—”

Glow turned away. “You may go, Beaconess Drewes.”

Although she did not face her again, she knew that Jutta rose from her curtsy and bowed reverently before opening the door and leaving. Even after the door clicked shut, Glow still didn’t turn around.

She surveyed her compartments. Warm May sunlight spilled the windows on the far wall. Jutta was right. On any given day, the sight of the cherry wood library-style office soothed her with its connection to the great officials of the past. Today it only served to remind her that this office was merely a mirage of power.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. “Come in.”

A flunky, dressed in the customary, gray double-breasted uniform, entered the room and handed her a miniature tablet embedded with a holographic seal she knew well.

Dismissing the attendant, Glow stared at the seal, wondering if she should ignore its summons. A moment later, defeated in an inexplicable way, she pressed the seal. A small holographic image floated in the air.

“Lee Glow,” the pixelated dark face of the former ruler of Earth greeted her.

“John Turner,” she replied in kind. “What do you want?”

“Has Preyida fulfilled its word on the gold?” A broad, flat eyebrow arched in inquiry.