Chapter 9

It was the last thing he expected her to say but the one thing he longed to hear. The waiting room around them once more disappeared from his mind. Cocooned in the lightning sparks of awareness between them, Micah’s whole being was focused on her words.

A pink tongue swiped her lips and he felt his stomach muscles tighten in response. Yeah, it had been a very good thing she had stopped the kiss she admitted to wanting from him.

“I thought after all this time, I’d be over you.” Her head dropped lower. “It’s been years since we were together and shouldn’t some things change?”

The way she phrased the question gave him the impression she was talking more to herself than him.

“But I guess you can’t have the kind of relationship we had and believe everything you shared could be completely severed.”

Micah put his hands in pockets. “What kind of relationship did we have?”

Savannah grew quiet again. Had she understood their relationship in the way he had? Did she understand that with her in his life, she had been his world? The cure to everything empty inside of him?

“Remember when we used to play hide and seek when we went on our nature trails?”

He hadn’t thought about those walks for some time, but now his brain flooded with images of them. The crisp, earthy scent of the woods mixed with the pitter-patter of rodents and the early morning sun. Soft, moist ground cushioned their feet as they hiked through the woods. Though it had been three years since the last time, he remembered those walks like they’d happened yesterday.

They preferred to take a stroll early in the morning, around five-thirty or six o’clock. He would drive over to her apartment and they’d share a quick bite to eat before heading out on the trail. Sometimes he’d discuss his work or she would share her schedule. Other times, they lapsed into a comfortable silence. He always came back from their walks thinking how perfect the day was with her.

He hadn’t hiked through the woods anywhere in a long time. Ever since they broke up. It held too many memories of perfect days.

“Why are you staring at me?”

He pursed his lips. “How am I looking at you?” What did she see in his eyes?

“You look ... far away.”

Micah rolled his neck and heard it crack. “I was far away.”

I was back in paradise, he couldn’t help but think. When they were together in the woods, he’d always imagine himself as Adam, and Savannah, his Eve. Just them and God amidst the sweet, cool, refreshing air.

But every paradise had a snake in it. Once again, the lovely image of Nascha reared its head.

She had apparently said something else because an expectant look was planted on her features. He must really be out of it. Adam and Eve indeed.

“What were you saying, Savannah?”

She rubbed the sleeves of her sweater. His eye caught the sight of the mole on her ring finger and he lingered his gaze there.

“You used to wonder how I found you no matter how far you went. Remember?”

He rocked back on his heels and drew his attention away from her hand. Sometimes, as part of the game, he’d hide as far as a mile away from their location. More times than not, she’d find him. Sometimes he’d chase her and throw her over his shoulder, imitating his best caveman growl. Or, depending on her mood, she’d ‘punish’ him. She’d make him stand still without touching her. Drawing closer and closer, she’d tease him with making him wait for a kiss. Those gemstone eyes would hone in on his while she took her time until he shook from the agony of waiting.

They didn’t do that too often, though. He was a man after all, not a monk.

“Okay.” The phrase barely scratched the surface of the emotions her words caused to roil up inside him.

“I always knew where you were, Micah. The few times I didn’t catch you, it was because I let you win.”

“I don’t follow you.” His heart thundered in his chest in spite of his confusion. Because he was sure, so sure, that he knew exactly what she was saying.

Micah inhaled a gulp of air and let it out slowly. Don’t assume anything, he told himself. He’d done that before. Like any man with his sweetheart, he expected she’d stand beside him in times of turmoil. Yet, instead of support and unwavering trust, he received a broken engagement and the proverbial crummy ash tray as mementos.

“We were very close, Micah, back then. We shared a connection few people ever have. My heart is connected to you. I’d feel your presence anywhere. If we were in a pitch-black room with a thousand people, I’d be able to find you. I can find you with my eyes closed.”

Little did she know it had been the same for him, but in a vastly different way.

She continued. “It’s not mystical or weird like in books. I’m attuned to you like a violin bow is to a violin. You hear how some couples when they’ve been together for a long time, over fifty or sixty years, their hearts beat at the same time when they sleep. Often, when one dies, the other soon follows. They can complete each other’s sentences, or know what the other is thinking from a single look. That sort of thing. I’ve never had it with other men who I’ve known in the past. Just you.”

Despite the fact he didn’t want to react to her statements, he did anyway. A rush of excitement went through his body. It wasn’t completely one-sided then. She’d been aware of the uniqueness of them together. The euphoria died as quickly as it had come. Then why did she let Nascha interfere?

“When we broke up—”

“When you left,” he corrected. “Let’s not forget that.” Bitterness soured the words.

Savannah grimaced. “Fine. When I left, I thought the bond had broken. You had moved so there was no way for me tell. I guess I had assumed that since you were away, this connection I had with you would go away.”

“Has it gone away?”

She finally looked him in the eyes. “No, it hasn’t. The moment the elevator door opened four days ago, this thing inside my heart beat like a drum. Micah, we’re still connected. You and I.”

Micah folded his arms. Didn’t he know it? Hadn’t he dropped everything to come to her? He’d wrapped it up in animosity but in the center of it all was the overpowering need to be back at her side. Could he even admit that the hollow feeling which had plagued him for the past three years dissipated the moment he set eyes on her again? No, he couldn’t give that much of himself away.

“Is that why you wanted me to kiss you?”

Savannah smoothed her forehead and then let her hand drop to her side. “I think so. I can’t really understand it myself. But it’s not because I wanted to kiss. It wasn’t a desire I had. I reacted to that bond. With Liliana being sick and you holding me like you did, I fell back into it. But thing is I don’t want to be ... enslaved by this connection anymore. After what you did to Nascha, I can’t believe I can respond to you.”

A giant fist caved in his chest. How could she say something like that? Enslaved by their connection? Their bond, their relationship, had made up a massive part of who he was as a person. Yes, he’d obtained financial security through his practice. Yes, he’d had prestige, too. But nothing on earth had meant as much to him as being Savannah Woods’ man.

And why did she have to put the elements of their attachment with each other in the same sentence as Nascha? Was she spoiling for a fight? He’d be more than willing to obliged.

Savannah kept her eyes focused on Micah, although the unnatural stillness that came over his body forewarned he wasn’t taking this declaration well. When she had gone to the bathroom a few minutes ago, she needed to put some space between them and evaluate something. She’d stared at her reflection in the mirror, seeing how the toll of the past few days ravaged her face.

When he’d almost kissed her, her heart craved it so bad. But looking at it in hindsight, she had to be responding to him like any organism that reacted to stimuli. Just an instinctive grasp. It had to be the right answer to his question that he so boldly asked. Plus, she could never forget Nascha. This man she once cared for had destroyed her friend’s life. How could she desire to melt into his arms and forget it?

“What I did to Nascha?” Micah’s eyes had narrowed. “What I did to Nascha,” he repeated again. It wasn’t a question the second time he said it.