Chapter 9

“I can’t believe I choked like that” Janneke growled to no one in particular as she threw her coat and hat to the ground when they returned home.

“It’s OK” Doortje said while rubbing her older sister’s shoulder sympathetically.

“I’m surprised” Beth said unexpectedly. “You were Miss Bad-Ass singer back home. What’s gotten into you?”

Tears welled up in Janneke’s eyes but only a solitary tear rolled down her cheek as she fought to contain them. “I don’t know! “ She sniffled while wiping her tears away. “All those people watching me, the camera ... Judging me. It’s unnerving.”

Doortje continue to stroke Janneke’s shoulder. “Sis, you were a bad-ass back home and you can be one here, too. I don’t know what’s happened to you, but it’s within you and according to a local saying, you’ll knock it out of the park next time.

Janneke excused herself to get ready for bed while the girls continued to talk. “She hasn’t been the same since she got here. If she doesn’t pull out of it soon, one of us will have to sing and we aren’t good enough to sing lead AND play our instruments.” Doortje said.

Beth nodded her head in acknowledgement. “We gotta keep it up, things will get better. What could go wrong?”

Doortje half laughed and muttered sarcastically under her breath: “I can’t wait!”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Billy” pleaded an emotional Janneke. “I want to, but I picture them all laughing at me. There’s so much pressure! The new songs for Saturday plus the ones we’ve been working on.”

Billy shook his head in disbelief. “Janneke, you are hands down the best singer I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some good ones. I’ll be singing most of the ones this coming weekend and you only have to learn two, and we’ve already worked on one of them. You can do it. We don’t have to be perfect. If we suck, we suck. Life goes on and they’ll forget about it pretty quickly.”

She chuffed at him, “What do you know? You’re just a seventeen year old boy.”

Little did she know. “Think what you want, ask my mom, she’ll tell you. She loves you and your sisters and is always talking about you. You’d think you guys were her daughters, too. Karina can always sing if you just can’t do it.”

Janneke’s eyes darkened at the suggestion and with a renewed sense of vigor, she replied: “Let’s just keep practicing. I really like the songs and love the time we spend playing them. Maybe I’ll get it all figured out in time.”

————— The band continued to work on the songs throughout the week and when Billy walked into the barn that Thursday night, he heard Karina practicing Janneke’s parts so he stayed out of sight to watch and listen. She didn’t quite have her sister’s tone or clarity but she was still better than anyone he ever worked with in his previous life. Still, there was something familiar about her voice. After a few moments of failing to figure it out, he shrugged his shoulders and let it go.

After she went through each song twice, Billy made his presence known. “That was some pretty good singing, been working on it long?”

“Oh hi Billy! Yeah. I’ve been working on it since you picked the songs and recorded the tracks. I just thought someone ought to be ready to sing in case Janneke chickens out.”

“You think she will?”

“There’s a good chance. Normally, she’d go out there and knock ‘em dead but she’s not been herself lately. I believe in being prepared.”

“What do you think is wrong with her?”

“If I knew, I’d tell you. Maybe it’s the move? Maybe it’s being an outcast in school? Who knows.”

They were interrupted by Carl arriving and the rest of the girls weren’t far behind. Janneke’s timing and range had been off all night culminating in her storming out of the barn where she just stood there and looked at the night sky. Billy made a move to follow but Karina motioned for him not to. Not quite convinced it was the right choice, he looked at the other two sisters and they nodded their agreement.

“Look, Billy” Beth said. “Doortje and I are really starting to dig this band and she’s just being a drama queen right now. She’ll get over it and come back in. Let’s hear what Karina can do and go from there. Those two have some kind of rivalry going on and if she hears Karina singing, she’ll come back in wanting to try again.”

Billy reluctantly agreed. “OK, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to continually pit them against each other like this. We’ll work our way through the set list and if she’s not back by then, I’m going after her.”

“Deal!” the girls all shouted at once. Billy looked at Carl to get his take on it and all he got was a shoulder shrug.

By the time they were on the last song of the set, Janneke appeared in the doorway and then moved to the front row where she just sat and listened. When practice was done, Beth looked to her older sister, “Well sis? How’d we sound?”

“Not bad. I’d say pretty good.”

Billy took the opportunity to speak up. “Hey, why don’t you come up here and sing some backup with us. You might be a little more comfortable not having to sing lead and when the time is right, you can sing for us again.”

Karina tried not to shoot a look at him, but wasn’t as successful as she’d hoped.

“OK, one more time...” Billy said as Carl began the four count.

—————— Dec 23rd, 1978 Billy and Carl pulled the rental van up to the church and parked behind Tiffany. The parking lot was a flurry of activity with the primary activity being the sound guys hooking up the PA system. Tiffany directed the boys to move the truck closer to the stage to unload and was immediately approached by a technician telling her to move the truck out of the way. Billy stuck his head out of the window and explained it contained their equipment and that they would move the van once it was unloaded.

When everything was unloaded, Billy worked with the stage manager to get their stuff set up so it would not get mixed up with any of the other bands’ equipment. He then watched the sound technician like a hawk as everything was patched into the mixing board. Once that was done, there was a few minutes to kill while Carl put the finishing touches on his trap set. The Associate Pastor eventually showed up and introduced himself.

“Hi, I’m Oliver and I’m the Associate Pastor. Your mother has been telling me how great your band is for the last couple of weeks so we decided to give you an invite. You are the last to play which I guess makes you the headliner. When you are done, we’ll have a speaker come up for a bit and then you’ll be able to start packing your gear away. I know you probably already know, but this is meant to be a family atmosphere so please keep everything family appropriate. Thank you.”

Before Billy could say a word, Oliver scurried off. It wasn’t what was said that irritated Billy, but the condescending way in which it was said. It wasn’t long before he got involved in a discussion with the sound technicians as to where they rented the equipment and was even able to obtain a business card for them. Billy checked his watch and saw it was almost time for their sound check and began looking around for his band members.

The other bands began rolling in and hooking up. In typical teenage fashion, their sound checks, if you could call them that, were more akin to making sure everything was hooked up and not if the levels were correct. As was expected, most of it was acoustic and/or keyboard-centric with one band being a-cappella. These were the days when contemporary Christian music was still more traditional in nature and the edgiest bands were more pop oriented. If you were to compare Petra to how they sounded then and in the late 1990’s, there was no comparison. They had no idea how heavy it could be, but would soon find out.

Minutes before their soundcheck, Billy reminded the girls to make sure they were located so they could hear the floor monitors because this would be nothing like the old folks home. A full PA system blasting away combined with audience and ambient noise can make it hard to hear what they need to hear to do their job.

“Just focus on your parts and don’t worry about anything else” he told them.

The mic levels were set first and they sang a few harmonies so the vocal mix was just right. Since the vocals were on a separate bus, once the levels were set, the vocals in whole could be turned up or down in relation to the instruments. Billy was at the mixing board giving instructions to the head sound technician as to how he wanted it to sound and then got onstage for his mic. Since it was getting close to start time, a crowd was starting to form around the stage which didn’t help Janneke or Doortje’s nerves. Beth and Karina seemed to eat it up. Sound checks were unimportant to many amateur bands because they didn’t realize how important it was to have the right mix so everything sounded professional. Most of the kids just wanted to jam and feel cool by being on stage so they never gave the overall sound much thought. The sound technician signaled they had five minutes left in their window so Billy had them to crank the sound and they would play the first half of ‘Core of My Addiction’. Carl clicked off a four count with his sticks to get them started and when they hit the part when the band comes in hard, the people who were near the stage were visibly startled as the first power chord burst forth coupled with the bass and bass drums thumping away at the low end. Karina belted out the words in a pure tone but her stage presence was what took center stage. The people who weren’t paying attention were now riveted on what was occurring on the stage. A few applauded as the final power chord decayed and Billy turned to give the band a thumbs up.

“We’re a novelty at best right now. Our sound and music is different and of course it’s going get their attention. It’s what we do with it over the course of the set that matters. Forget about them and focus. There will be good and bad reactions.” Billy told them when they went backstage. Off in the distance, he saw his mother talking to Oliver and by the body language, it didn’t look all that friendly. He made his way over to her when they were finished and asked her about it.

“Don’t worry about it, Billy. I’ve taken care of it.”

“But wha-”

“I said I took care of it. Please trust me on this” she said with a little more forcefulness in her voice than normal. Billy suspected what the problem was and immediately tabled his thoughts. We just need to get through tonight for the experience and not worry about if we get invited back he thought to himself.

Returning to the band, he noticed quite a few teenagers gathered around them and all looked to be having a good time. Even Janneke was smiling and looking relaxed, but it was the seedy looking character laughing with her that was cause for concern. There was no reason to let the rest of the band in on what he saw earlier since it would just distract them, so he kept an eye out in case Oliver tried any cheap stunts to make them stumble. Billy targeted him as an self-righteous prick at their first meeting and wasn’t going to allow any passive-aggressive stunts derail them.

The festivities started on time and the bands were all pretty much what Billy expected. The first group was comprised of four guys with an acoustic guitar and a barbershop quartet-like sound. Their songs were mainly traditional arrangements of Christmas carols spiffed up by a few fancy harmonies. They had some talent but lacked originality and stage presence. The audience sang along most of the time and seemed genuinely into the songs.

The next two groups were basically the same thing but throw in a few more instruments and some female alto backing vocals. Billy recognized a few of the kids in the last band from school. They tried a little more rock-n-roll type approach but like the majority of of the contemporary Christian bands of the era, came across as too pop-ish and not enough edge. One of the prevalent beliefs of the time was that “sound” and looks were the predominant factors as to whether music was evil or not. Even into the early-mid 1980’s, Jimmy Swaggart was saying Stryper was evil based upon their sound and long hair. Basically, if a “religious” leader liked it, it was good and evil if they didn’t.

The lights went out so the stage could be prepared for the last band and the crowd, who had been slowly building all afternoon died down in anticipation to see the new band. Word had gotten out about their sound check and it seems as if everyone wanted to check out what would either be a great set or a huge flameout of the highest magnitude. Midway through the evening, the event coordinator told Billy things were about five minutes ahead of schedule and there was time for an extra song if they wanted. He immediately relayed the information to the band which gave Janneke cause for concern. Karina piped up: “Let’s do ‘Waiting’, it was one of our alternate songs and we’ve practiced it to death. I can sing solo if Jan is uncomfortable.” Jan looked terrified and Karina said “Just fit in where you can and I’ll drive this.” Billy nodded his agreement, “We’ll do it towards the end, I have an idea.”

Billy made one last pass across the stage to make sure everything was set up properly. Right before they took the stage, Tiffany walked up to the mic to address the crowd and a single spotlight illuminated her. She took the mic and stepped away from the stand. Apparently, donating large sums of money automatically qualified a person to have a little more notoriety than the average parishioner.

“Good evening and Merry Christmas everyone!”

The crowd cheered a bit in response.

“As our last group takes the stage, I want to point out my son over there on the guitar and his newfound friends. You see, earlier this year he was involved in an accident that left him in a coma and unlikely to ever walk again but a miracle happened. Several, actually. The first was his seemingly full recovery from the spinal injuries, but the bigger one was to realize his life is a gift from God. As a result of that gift, he found a new circle of friends, friends who have the highest character and genuinely have a love and respect for each other. He is no longer the same person just as you and I have been reborn when we trust in Christ. Billy’s new life has resulted in quite a few interesting happenings. You’ll see what I’m talking about when they start playing. Their style and sound is not what you’re used to, but I have a challenge for you. Enjoy the music, but listen to the words and the message it conveys. It’s not the sound of the music, but the message it puts into your heart that determines if it’s evil or not. With that, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!”

The crowd gave her a mildly enthusiastic response as she replaced the mic on the stand. Billy dragged a stool up behind the mic Tiffany had just used and took a moment to adjust everything while he spoke.

“Gee, uh, thanks mom” he said looking off to the side of the stage before turning back to the audience. “I promise you, we had no idea she was going to do that. We do plan to rock the house tonight, but we’re going to have a little more of a traditional start. I hope you enjoy the show.”

Billy gave a quick look back to the band and gave Carl a subtle nod to start. The song started with a slow 1,3,4 beat per measure bass drum and then Karina joined in with some percussion before the acoustic guitar started. “Come, they told him pa-rump-pum-pum-pum...” Slowly the song built as Janneke, Beth and Karina came in with their harmonies followed by Doortje on the bass in the second verse. Billy concentrated hard on what the others were doing in case changes had to be made on the fly and when he got comfortable, he lost himself in the song.

When it was finished, he walked over to a guitar stand to grab his electric guitar and returned to center stage. A tap on a floor pedal and a nod to Carl resulted in a four count tap-in and they were off on the Jars of Clay song ‘Like a Child’. “Dear God...” he sang a-cappella before coming in with a clean guitar tone. Since Karina was focusing on vocals, Beth was playing the lead guitar part on the keyboards. The harmonies and a slight overdriven guitar came in on the second verse as the song continued to build until they finished with a clean guitar and vocals only. This was the plan, start with a sound that was familiar and slowly turn up the intensity as they moved through the set.

Billy noticed the crowd was growing in energy and had pushed up close to the stage. The music had been a bit different from what they were used to hearing, but not much. The anticipation was starting to mount for those who heard the sound check and the rest of the audience was starting to feed off of it. All extraneous activities in the crowd had ceased and they were the focal point of all. Carl was watching Billy and used the tap on the floor pedals as his queue to start the song. Billy and Beth started the introduction to ‘Fly’ (Jars of Clay) which gave way to only Doortje and Carl playing for the majority of the verses.

The band was holding up pretty good despite an occasional miss here and there but since nobody knew the songs, who would know be able to identify a mistake? When the final sounds of ‘Fly’ faded into silence, Billy addressed the crowd with an emotion that surprised even himself.

“This is for everyone who’s ever lost a loved one. I’d like to dedicate this song to...” he barely caught himself referring to his prior wife which would open a hug can of worms. “Someone I lost a long time ago.” Karina and Janneke shot each other a quick look of concern while they were standing just offstage. The inexperience of the band playing together live forced certain protocols to start the songs and Carl clicking off a four count was one of them. He tapped his sticks together and Beth started in on the keyboards for ‘Homesick’ (Mercy Me). Billy left out the acoustic guitar and just sang along with the keys until it was time for the electric guitar. He added a little extra overdrive on the sound to give a slight edgier sound than the original but it still conveyed the same soulful atmosphere. There were no background vocals on the song so Janneke and Karina were standing backstage looking nervously at each other that maybe their spell had not been as effective as they originally thought.

Their silent conversation was interrupted by the huge roar of cheering when the song was done and the two girls nearly forgot to come back onstage. Billy was addressing the crowd once more who was now a bit more animated. “You are in for a treat right now. You’ll be hard pressed to find two better vocalists than Karina and Janneke.” The crowd cheered as the two girls approached center stage. Karina’s Northern European accent was a little stronger than normal due to her nerves but addressed the audience with faux confidence.

“Bedankt, soms moet je er gewoon boven opstaan” she said slipping into Dutch by accident. Janneke elbowed her sister jokingly and spoke into the mic with a laugh in her voice, “What my nutty sister here is trying to say, is: Sometimes you just have to rise above it all!” (Rise Above - Fireflight) Karina struggled to suppress the blush forming on her face but was unsuccessful. The band needed no lead-in as Beth began playing the keyboard to get the song started.

Karina’s voice was pure but Billy could tell she was nervous as her projection was not quite what it normally was. It got a little better in the chorus when both girls were singing. When they hit the bridge with all four girls singing, Janneke really shined with her high octave voice over and then they finished on a very strong note.

Billy dialed up the distortion on his guitar for the next song as the crowd cheered as loud as he’d heard. What he saw when he looked past the crowd surprised him somewhat, the parking lot and street feeding it was full of parked cars with the occupants sitting and standing all about. It reminded him of a NASCAR infield.

Billy approached the front stage and took the mic from Janneke which surprised her since it was unplanned. With a confused look on her face, she stepped backwards to allow Billy centerstage by himself.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed the evening so far. I want to really thank the sound guys over at the mixing board for doing such an awesome job. We don’t have the easiest setup in the world and they’ve done a great job making sure we sound good!”

The crowd cheered for moment and Billy continued, “We’ve been going easy on you guys tonight. The songs you’ve heard tonight are on the lower end of the intensity scale from what we normally play. These next two songs will be a little ... different. As my mom asked you earlier ... ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?”

A decent cheer emanated from the audience.

“I can’t hear you ... if you want to hear our next two songs, I need to hear you ... ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?”

The crowd erupted with a huge roar.

“Thank you very much, sorry to keep you Waiting.”

Carl gave Billy a moment to get situated and then ticked off the four count to begin ‘Waiting’ (Fireflight). Karina stepped centerstage and took control of the song while Janneke faded to the rear hiding between Doortje and Beth. Most of the crowd didn’t know what to think of the heavy staccato beat, but was soon feeling it. Karina’s voice was clean and she delivered with a lot of modulation. When it was over, they moved immediately into the intro lick to ‘Core of My Addiction’ (Fireflight) and Janneke came back onto centerstage.

The song would normally call for two guitars so Beth augmented on the keys to fill in certain parts of the song so Billy could play the lead riffs as needed. It was the hardest driving song of the night and Carl struggled keeping the tempo at the right pace. Karina moved around the periphery of the stage and interacted with the audience wherever she went. Her voice had a rasp and edge to it that Billy had never heard before and attributed it to adrenaline. When they hit the bridge, he nearly duffed the scale run because the sound of the two girls voices was giving him a serious case of goosebumps.

The band wound things down with ‘This Road’ (Jars of Clay) and while they performed it nicely, their energy had been spent and not many people would remember much about the song.

Oliver gave them a serious frown as they crossed paths on the stage when their set was over. Tiffany was waiting backstage and was hopping in excitement while hugging the musicians as they came down the stairs. She gave Billy an extra big hug and kiss on the cheek.

“I’m so proud of each of you” she gushed at them. “That was way better than the rehearsals I saw. I had no idea you guys would be so comfortable up there. The crowd loved you, too. Take my word, I’ve been to a lot of these and this was the most worked up I’ve ever seen them. Did you see all the cars in the back? We’ve never had that, either.”

The four girls, who were running on nothing but adrenaline, were starting to crash so Tiffany took them home. Billy and Carl would stay behind to load up the equipement and Tiffany would bring them McDonalds on her way back. They were nearly done loading when Oliver approached them.

“What kind of stunt was that?” he hissed in a low voice. “Playing the Devi’s music and singing about drugs? You gave me your word.”

Billy was shocked at first but quickly recovered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” he countered as his eyes picked up Tiffany quietly approaching from the rear. They made eye contact and she stopped in her tracks.