Phantom Politics
Copyright© 2023 by George H. McVey
Chapter 2
Glenna Schumacher glanced up at the clock above the door to her office. It was already four-thirty. Another hour and a half and she could go home. The good news was she had no city council business to attend to tonight; and in the last hour, she actually got to perform a deep tissue massage on one of her favorite citizens, Mysti Stonestar. Glenna was one of the few people in town who called the girl by her self-chosen and legal name. Everyone else that knew her growing up still called her Nancy Gladstone. But for some reason, Mystery had her name legally changed two days after her eighteenth birthday.
Now she was the most eccentric resident of Gladstone, bar none. In this town, that was saying something. Of course, a close second was Reverend Begley and his mother-in-law Petunia Flowers. But even with Mrs. Flowers’s blue beehive hairdo and hot pink supersized Hoveround, Mysti took the prize with her frizzy red hair, going every which way, and the colorful bohemian clothes she always wore. Who knew which crystal she’d be sporting today?
But last week when she’d come in for her session, she’d brought Glenna some passionflower tea and told her to take it after she got home from City Council meetings, where Hal’s crap gave her a headache. She’d been so desperate she’d tried it; not only did it ease her headache, all the muscle tension in her body had disappeared, and she had slept more soundly and peacefully than she had since she moved back to Gladstone. She’d started recommending to her clients with severe muscle tension, that they go see Mysti and get a box of tea to drink before bedtime.
Glenna got up to get her table ready when the phone rang. “Hello, thanks for calling the Lazy Day Spa. I’m Glenna, and it would be my pleasure to schedule you for a Lazy Day. Just tell me what day is best for you.”
“Hey Glenna, that’s a catchy new way to answer the phone. This is Josephine.”
“What’s he want now, Josephine?”
The woman on the other end chuckled. “Mayor Hal asked me to call all the councilpersons and ask them to attend an emergency meeting tonight to discuss a possible solution to, and I quote here, ‘The economic disaster about to destroy our beloved town.’”
“Oh dear God, what has that crazy lunatic come up with now?”
“I don’t know, that’s all he told me.”
“And this can’t wait three weeks for the normal meeting? I mean we just met last week and talked about nothing for two hours. Is this really that desperate a situation?”
“I’m just the Personal Assistant. I don’t have a clue. He said to call, so I called. But, I doubt it. Expect Harry to be in fine form tonight, too; Hal just peed in his cornflakes again.”
“Awww, did the Quarterback not get the trophy from mayor daddy today?”
Josephine laughed out loud. “Oh Glenna, why couldn’t you be my boss? This job would be fun if you were mayor. No, he’s holding up renovation and expansion permits for the Bed and Breakfast. Seems Harry wants to expand into a small upscale inn. Hal, of course, wants him to be the next mayor, not an innkeeper.”
“Really, why can’t that man just let Harry follow his dreams? As much as I don’t want another Gladstone to be mayor, there is no difference between Hal running the diner and Harry running an inn. What time is this emergency meeting tonight?”
“Officially it’s in the council chamber at seven, but you know Hal and the boys will have already hashed everything out over burgers at the diner beforehand.”
“Of course, they will, and once again my voice and vote won’t count for Shinola.”
“Sorry. Gotta run, still need to call Bernie and let him know. At least he’ll be as ignorant as you. They never invite him to the diner either, you know.”
“Yeah, but if it has any legal ramifications, Hal will have already talked with him. Thanks for the info, Josephine. When I’m Mayor I’ll get you a raise.”
“I’ll hold ya to that. Bye, Sugar.”
Harry pulled up in front of a strange little shop on Main Street painted Tardis Blue with a sign that read Mysti’s Crystals and Gifts. A small sign stated Tea Garden and Psychic Readings. There was a wooden bench setting in front of a storefront window that was filled with bells, gongs, wind chimes, a selection of specialty teas, and crystals of every size, shape, and color. He climbed out of his ride and entered the shop. Just a few minutes with his favorite person and he’d be able to handle the rest of the night.
He saw his cousin Mysti Starstone as she came rushing up to him. He opened his mouth to pour out his frustrations when she placed her hand over his mouth. “Not a word, Harry Gladstone.” She lifted his left arm out in front of him. “Don’t let me move this arm.” Then she proceeded to push down on it. After a few seconds, she was slowly moving it down. “Oh, dear! This will not do, no, no, no!”
“Mysti...?”
Her hand went back over his mouth again “Harold Jefferson Gladstone the Fifth, didn’t I tell you not to talk? No, you keep quiet.”
She walked behind him and pulled his shirt out of his pants and ran her hand up his back until it rested between his shoulder blades. “Cough three times as hard as you can, please.”
Harry knew his cousin, he loved her like no one else, but when she got in this frame of mind the only thing anyone could do was follow her instructions or leave. He coughed three times. With each cough, his cousin pressed harder and harder into the space between his shoulder blades until the pain was almost too much. “Oh Mercy! This is not good, no sir, not good at all.
She pulled her hand out of his shirt and moved behind her counter and started looking for something on the shelves filled with bells and cymbals. “Your harmonics are completely scrambled. You know you can’t bring that mess in here. You go out and wait on the bench. I’ll bring you what you need to get your harmonics balanced again so we can visit. I don’t know why you let Uncle Hal get you in such a state.” She looked up to see him still standing where she’d stopped him. She pointed out the door he’d just come in “Go on, sit on the bench. I’ll be right there.”
He went out and sat. A few seconds later, his cousin came through the door with two of the smallest cymbals he’d ever seen and an orange-colored sheer head scarf. “Now listen, it’s your Sacral Chakra, it resides in your lower trunk and is stimulated by the D tone. Okay, you take these sagats and hold them over your stomach. Make a tone like this.” She demonstrated placing the cymbals on her thumb and first finger then quickly striking them and holding them open so a tone rang out. “At the same time, you copy the tone like this OOOOooo. I’m going to wrap this tangerine scarf around your eyes because you need to visualize the color. This will help you do that. Got it?”
“Is this necessary?”
She took his right hand and put the cymbals in them and proceeded to wrap the scarf over his eyes. “Yes, it’s necessary. I’m trying to help you, Harry. Stop fighting me.”
Harry sighed and tried to fit the little cymbals on his hand as she did but he couldn’t. She smiled at him. “You can just hold one in each hand, but keep them over your stomach as you strike them, and don’t forget to visualize and vocalize. I’m going to go make us a revitalizing tea to stimulate your life force. You work on your harmonics.”
With that, she turned and bounced into the store. Harry sighed and gripped a cymbal in each hand, feeling like an idiot, but knew she wouldn’t talk to him ‘til she was convinced he’d removed the negative build-up from his aura or whatever it was she thought she detected. So, he began to bang the tiny cymbals and say “OOO”. It sounded nothing like what Mysti had. No, he was sure he looked and sounded like that stupid wind-up monkey she’d had as a kid.
Mysti came back out carrying two mugs of some kind of tea. She started laughing. “What are you doing? That’s not how I showed you to do it.”
He huffed “Be honest, this doesn’t do anything. You just wanted to see me make a fool of myself.”
She set the mugs on the ground and took his hands in hers. “Well that is a great side effect but this will help if you do it right. I’ll help, but you have to vocalize with me, okay?”
“Fine, but only because I know you’re trying to take care of me. I still think I look like a fool.”
She smiled and reached up and unwound the scarf. “Well the scarf was just for my enjoyment but the rest will help.” Then she sounded the cymbals and sang out the note, nodding for him to do so, too. For the next five minutes, they harmonized. Then she stood up. “Now drink your tea, while I go lock up, and then you can give me a ride over to The Lazy Day Spa. We can talk while Glenna does my deep tissue massage.”
He drank his tea and was surprised to find that Mysti had been right, he felt better and more centered after their little session. He stood and unlocked the Suburban. He knew he’d have to hear all about how he was polluting Mother Earth again, but there was no way he could drive a little electronic thing like she drove when she couldn’t ride her bike.
She came out and frowned at his gas guzzler but just sighed and climbed in. “Tell me, what did Uncle Hal do this time?”
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