Chapter 4

The Nurse returned with Dr. Phillips and he preceded to uncover my eyes.

The lights were turned down low and the tape was peeled off then the light gauze pad was removed and I was ask to slowly open my eyes. I opened them a little and it hurt and I squeezed them shut then tried to open them again and it went better so I just kept easing into it for a few minutes till I had them open and it felt OK.

Dr. Phillips asked the nurse to turn the lights up slowly and it was a little uncomfortable for a few seconds as the room returned to normal brightness. “how’s that feel?” he ask after I stopped blinking like I was sending Morse code.

“feels good now, took a minute to get everything in focus but now it feels great to see you all finally” I feel a weird sense of giddiness at seeing faces again.

Dr. Phillips proceeds to examine my eyes with a small Pen light and finally seemed satisfied that I avoided any scaring on my cornea. He then instructs the nurse to remove the arm restraints and discontinue IV’s and if I keep food down they will pull the Picc lines tomorrow.

With that he turned and left the room. I looked over at the nurse -Davis _ by her name tag and she just smiled at me. “and I guess that’s that” I said

Oh, Don’t be harsh on Dr. Phillips he really does care. He was quiet upset yesterday when you passed out and he personally called the transferring hospital then the local Sheriffs office to get information on what you had said.

Now we are going to bring you in some lunch and then Dr. Griefahn will in to see you. Then you are getting a trip down to x-ray to make sure that arm is good to go.

“Its been you here each morning hasn’t it?” I ask her “Yea today is my last day in this rotation so you will get someone new in the morning”

“Thank you for trying to keep me calm when I woke up. I am sorry I was so much trouble, everything was so confused in my head”

“Its fine and I am glad your awake and calm now. It had to be scary to wake up and not be able to move or see.” “your going to be fine now and will probably go home before I rotate back”

“Lunch will be in shortly.”

As the door closed softly behind her I worked to remain calm and not let myself break down. I was 11 I could see my body. My thin arms and bony hands. I wanted a mirror but I knew what I would see. My 11 year old eyes looking back at me and I still would not understand what was happening or how.

I just lay there, my mind locking up as I just went in circles with my thoughts.

Something banged the door and it opened as a young Black women backed into the room with a tray. After 20 years in the navy I had served with many African-Americans, Blacks, Person of Color whatever the term of the year was.

The young women smiled broadly as she approached with my tray. “It’s so good to see you awake” “I wish I better news but it looks like you get the liquid diet for lunch”. Her name tag said Cedella and her Accent was pure Jamaican but her enunciation was precise and clearly a product of language training.

“that’s all right Cedella” “I believe the enjoyment of a meal is inversely proportional to the number of days since you last ate so this should be one of the top 10 meals ever.”

She smiled at me but her eyes were looking at me closely as she moved my bedside tray into place and started raising my head so I was sitting up fully.

She went to a small counter area and opened a drawer returning with a yellow sleeve that she slide up my right are and tucked the Picc lines under so I would not drag them as I ate.

“do you need anything else” she asked Not sure why but I just asked “where did you learn English” “she smiled and said “The Nuns at the Catholic Girl School” “proper enunciation was very much a requirement” “Now I study Nursing here and one day I will be a RN.”

“thank you” and good luck with your studies. Cedella smiled as she left and I turned my attention to “Lunch”

Broth, tea, apple juice, and some type of red jello. It didn’t look like much but I quickly found out it was more than I could finish.

A few minutes later Cedella stuck her head back in and ask if I needed more time and I just said no as I swallowed the last bit of apple juice

she quickly cleared my tray and moved the bedside table out of the way but left it with my water cup and straw close enough to reach.

I was just resting and wondering if I could get a nap when the door Opened and a women in her mid 60’s entered the room.

“Hello Mark” my name is Beverly Griefahn and I am the Staff Psychiatrist and Dr. Phillips ask me to talk to you.

Well dam, Now they want to shrink my head and I haven’t even figured out just how bat shit crazy I was.

“Sure DR. Griefahn but do we need my folks permission” “Please Mark just Beverly and yes we do and I spoke to your Mother this morning and she ok’d us talking this afternoon.”

“Your Mom and Dad Haven’t been here to see you since you woke up how do feel about that?”

“They have to work, if they miss work they don’t get paid and that’s not going help anyone” “This” I waved my hand around the room “will probably bankrupt the family so I get live with that” So no Beverly I don’t mind that they haven’t been here yet”

She had a great poker face. She should take up Texas Holdem. She just sat there taking notes with a neutral look on her face.

“Mark, why did you think you were in a prison hospital and why did you think you had killed a girl?”

And there it was. The $64,000 question. The next few minutes would set the tone for how I was treated going forward. If I insisted I had lived to 67 and had probably raped and killed a girl and then myself. I could hear the doors with dead bolt locks closing on me in my padded cell.